Caleb went home after dinner after spending the rest of the day thinking. He was ready to share with Amy what was going on.

As he walked in, he heard a familiar voice. "Sergeant Andrews?"

"Corporal, good to see you."

"Sir." Caleb shook his hand and met Amy's eyes.

"Caleb, I'm here regarding your telegram. May we chat for a bit?"

"Yes, but Amy should be there. She's my wife and I don't want to hide anything anymore."

Amy looked at her husband. He seemed slightly more at ease.

"Very well."

"I can make some coffee or tea. Just give me a few moments," she told them.

After about ten minutes, the three sat at the table.

Caleb reached for Amy's hand, wanting to show her that he wanted her there. She let him hold it and focused on Sergeant Andrews.

"To begin with, I've appreciated your reports. It seems this is a quiet town good for raising a family such as yours."

"It is, sir."

"I am concerned about you though. I was shocked to read your telegram stating your resignation."

"Yes."

"I've never known you to be impulsive, Corporal."

"No, sir."

"In order for me to accept your resignation, I need a formal letter and a reason."

Caleb took a deep breath and squeezed Amy's hand. She wanted a reason too. "I'm not good at my job, sir."

"I disagree. Why do you think I promoted you to Corporal? You'll have to do better than that."

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "I froze, sir. A man went into our saloon here in town and robbed it. I did nothing. I stood at the windows of the jail, frozen."

"So, you're having a reaction to what happened over a year ago. Do you have nightmares?"

"Yes." He stared at his and Amy's hands for a moment. "Sir, I can't do my job properly if all I'm going to do is stand there afraid. People could die. People I care for. You need to find someone else who is capable."

"Caleb, I'm going to speak to you, man to man, as a friend. First names, no ranks, no sirs."

"Ok, Scott."

"About ten years ago, I was a Mountie in Alberta. Jenn and I were about your age and happily married with a few kids. I was at the bank but not as a Mountie. I was just taking out some money for Jenn when two men robbed the place. They shot four of us without saying a thing. I had a bullet lodged in my chest, dangerously close to my heart. The next thing I knew, Jenn was sitting next to me in the hospital, tears on her face. I'll never forget the look on her face. Needless to say, after surgery and recovery, I couldn't work right away. I became depressed and shut everyone out, including Jenn. I'm surprised she forgave me, honestly. I had nightmares, cold sweats, I was extremely testy, and I blamed anyone and everyone."

"What did you do to get past it?"

"I prayed, then I actually talked to Jenn. Before, I was too stubborn to let her in. We fought, the kids unfortunately were affected. After she and I talked and we promised to always communicate with no judgement, no matter what we needed to talk about, the nightmares lessened. Now, I only get them once in a great while. Usually it's after I witness a crime or something. It may always come to haunt you, but you should be able to live with it if you lean on God and your wife."

"Yes, Scott. I have made those same mistakes. Honestly yesterday was one of the worst mistakes I've made. I neglected my job, I got drunk, and I let Amy see me that way."

"Caleb, getting drunk isn't wise. However, if you weren't on duty, there's not much I can say about it, except that the citizens of Hope Valley look to you for direction and help and if they are aware that you allow yourself to get drunk, their trust in you may suffer."

"I've already promised her I won't do it again and I'm making the same promise to you now, sir."

"Very good. Now, regarding your telegram. I don't think resigning is the best thing right now. I'm here to offer you a two month leave of absence with full pay."

"Can we stay in this house?" Amy asked.

"Yes, you can. Your temporary replacement will be here within a week."

Amy squeezed his hand and looked up at him, asking for his decision. "Caleb, you need this. We need this."

He knew she was right. He hoped by the end of the two months their relationship would be stronger and he would be moving past his issues. "Ok. Thank you, sir."

Meri carried Lily out to her parents. "Mama, I'm sorry to interrupt but Lily's hungry."

"Ok, thank you, sweetie." Amy stood and shook Scott's hand. "Thank you, Scott. If you'll excuse me, it's time for baths and bed."

"It's good to see you, Amy. I'll see you tomorrow too."

"Where are you staying?"

"The boarding house."

"If you don't want to pay for it, we have a guest room."

"I appreciate that, but I'll leave you two to talk tonight."

Caleb walked Scott to the door, promising to do rounds together in the morning. When he locked the door, he felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders.

"Caleb? Can you take her so I can start the water heating for baths?"

"Actually, you feed her and I'll take care of baths tonight."

"Thank you."

"Ames?"

She turned and looked back at him. "Yeah?"

"I want us to have time to talk, so once the kids are in bed, I'll meet you in our room?"

"Sure."

"I love you, babe."

"I love you."

…..

HARRIS TOWN, JON'S HOUSE

Jenny did the dishes while Jon put Jillian to sleep. He came out and stood in the kitchen doorway, watching.

"You do that a lot, Jon," she said with a smile as she put the last dish away.

"What?"

"Watch me." She leaned against the counter and gazed at him.

"You're beautiful." He shrugged and walked up to her, his fingertips grazing her cheek. "I can't help it." He gazed at her lips for a good five seconds before smiling and meeting her eyes again.

"Jon?"

"What?"

"What are you waiting for?" She moved closer and stared up at his handsome face. "Kiss me," she whispered.

She was bold. They both knew it. It had been her that admitted to having feelings first. She initiated the first hug. Now, she couldn't wait any more. His perfect lips were very close and she knew they both wanted to move forward.

He smiled and bent down, hesitating just to see what her reaction would be.

"Jon."

"I'm kidding." He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her as close as he could get her before meeting her lips with his, briefly. He pulled back way too early in her opinion.

"Jon, please." She needed him so badly she wanted to cry. She stood on her toes and returned his kiss fulfilling her immediate need. As she rested her head under his chin a moment later, she spoke softly. "I love you so much."

He rubbed her back but he couldn't return the sentiment. It wasn't that he didn't feel it. He did, but he was hesitant to let himself fully commit again.

"It's ok, you don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt."

He bent down again and kissed her softly. "I care for you, Jenny. I don't want you to think that I don't."

"I know. It hasn't been that long since Ellen and we are moving fast. I'm sorry if it felt like I was pushing you."

"Jenny, you didn't push me to do anything I didn't want to do."

"I just forget sometimes that it's been six years for me but only seven months for you. I am ready but you may not be for awhile."

"Christmas," he blurted.

"What?"

"I'm going home to Alberta for Christmas and I want you and Cam to come too to meet my Mom."

"That's like six months away."

"Yes it is. Will you come?"

"Yes."

…..

HOPE VALLEY, CALEB AND AMY'S

Caleb handed Amy her tea and joined her on the bed so they were facing each other. "I hardly know where to start," he admitted.

"Tell me about your nightmares," she prompted, scooting closer so their knees touched.

"Ok. Mostly it's things I don't actually remember happening. The one thing I do see in my dreams and even when I'm awake is how big he was. His arms were huge and he was about three inches taller than me. His knife was huge too." He hesitated, not wanting to talk but knowing he had to.

She set her cup down and grabbed his hands. "It's ok. He's not here and he's not going to hurt you."

"In my heart I know that, but my brain keeps remembering it. As if I just lived it. When I heard the gunshots yesterday, I saw him as if he was right beside me. It scared me so much."

"So much that you froze."

"Yeah. Thankfully no one got hurt, but next time…" He shook his head. "I'm not reliable. I can't freeze like that, Ames."

"Rather than think about the past, let's try to concentrate on how to make it so it doesn't happen again, ok?"

"I don't know how to do that."

"We are going to do it together. Rely on me, babe. I'm not going anywhere."

He gazed at his beautiful wife, her dark black hair flowing over her shoulders. Her bright blue eyes staring back with love and concern. She had soft pink lips that he had missed kissing the last few days, and a thin, yet curvy body that he was aching to hold. But, before that, he needed to make things right.

"Ames, I'm so sorry, for everything. Please forgive me."

"I do forgive you. I'm sorry that I suggested you found someone else. I didn't really mean those words. I was upset."

"I will never ever find someone else. I love you with all of my heart. I don't want anyone but you."

"It hurt so much that you didn't trust me, Caleb. Is there something I've done that makes you not want to talk to me? I know I'm stubborn and opinionated…"

"I love those things about you and I'm stubborn too. I just didn't want you to have to worry. I wanted to fix it myself."

"Just in case you didn't know, I worry about you everyday, hoping and praying you'll come home to us. This town is good for us and good for Meri and I want us to be happy again."

"Me too." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her soft skin. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Lily whimpered from her crib. "I'll get her," he told her as he stood.

"Dada," she whimpered laying her head on his shoulder.

"Hi, pretty girl. Are you hungry?" She reached for Amy, answering his question.

He removed his shirt and sat back next to Amy against the headboard. It felt good to be home. The jail cell certainly wasn't comfortable.

She leaned against his shoulder. "I miss you, Caleb."

He touched her cheek, turning her face toward him. "I'm here." Then he did what he'd wanted to do for a few days. He kissed her.

She pulled back and sighed. "You're different somehow. I miss the happy, teasing Caleb."

"I don't know how to get him back," he admitted, frustrated. He moved to the edge of the bed and stood, putting his shirt back on.

"You don't need to leave. Please don't go."

"I need to think. I'll just be downstairs."

….

After Lily ate, Amy found Caleb on the porch. She wasn't dressed to be out there since they were in town so she peeked her head out the door. "Sweetie, can you come in so we can talk?"

"I don't know what else to say."

She took a deep breath and stepped out, pulling her robe around herself. "Caleb, when I said I miss you, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I want you to know, I miss the way you used to be, but I love you, no matter what." She stepped next to him, slipping her arm around his waist.

"I don't like disappointing everyone, Ames. I want to be the husband you want, but I guess I'm lost." His emotions rose to the surface and he was powerless to stop them. "I won't ask you to stick by me while I figure this out. It may never happen. "

"Caleb, listen. You are not alone. You aren't going to figure it out. WE are. Please remember that." She reached up, stood on her bare toes, and kissed him deeply, trying to convince him or, at the very least, reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere. "I love you, babe."

The couple decided that in a week, after Caleb's replacement showed up and school was finished, they were going to travel to Harris Town. Amy suggested it because she thought being with his parents in the place where they grew up and fell in love, might help bring up good memories. He had a two month leave so they would stay for a month and see what happened.

…..

A couple days later, Jenny got ready for work and realized how much she missed Jon and Jilly. She went from seeing them every day to sporadically seeing them. She hoped Jon would stop by the shop today because she needed to see him or she may go crazy.

"Two days left of school, Ma," Cam informed her in the kitchen as they ate breakfast.

"Yep. It's summer again. What plans do you have, sweetie?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Ok, go ahead."

"Mr. Thornton asked if I wanted to help at the ranch a few days a week. Just chores."

"Is that what you want to do?"

"Yes, may I, please?"

"Sure. Just make sure you take time to have fun too." She didn't want him working away his summer. He was only almost ten.

"I will. Thanks, Ma." He stood and grabbed his lunch pail and kissed her cheek. "Love you."

"Love you, Cam."

Jenny went to work a few moments later to get started on the extra scones and muffins Carlie wanted. About one minute after she opened, Jon and Jillian walked in.

"Morning, Jenny."

"Hi." She walked over and kissed his cheek and grabbed Jilly from him.

"Ne ne," Jillian said, burying her face in Jenny's chest.

"Did she…was that…oh my," Jenny almost cried knowing the baby had made up a name for her. Who knew an eight month old could do that?

"I guess I talk to her about you enough that she tried it out herself." He actually had been teaching her to say it.

"You talk to her about me?"

"Of course I do."

"Ne ne," she said again, tangling her chubby fingers in Jenny's hair.

"I missed both of you so much." Jon wrapped his arms around both of them.

"We missed you too." He tilted her chin up and kissed her. "I love you, Jenny." He was scared for all three of them. If what he and Jenny had somehow changed or they broke up for some reason, he would be heartbroken and Jilly wouldn't understand.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jon. I'll always be with you."

It was if she had read his thoughts. "Promise?"

"I promise. I love you."

Maybe it was the sincerity in her eyes or maybe he had gone temporarily crazy but he looked down at her and his daughter and knew what he had to do. "Marry me."

She hesitated for just a few seconds and nodded. "Yes. I'll marry you."

He captured her soft pink lips with his and relaxed. He believed her. He knew in his heart, she was nothing like Ellen except for the color of her hair.

As she felt the love pouring through his kisses, she sighed, knowing the man kissing her would be her husband and the baby girl in her arms would be her daughter. The thought made her so happy.

…..