Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS. I own nothing but my imagination.
An Unconventional Family-Chapter 51
Once again I am behind in responding to the reviews, so if you reviewed one of the last couple of chapters, thank you! I swear, I need a break to recover from my Spring Break!
Dave stayed in his chair on the deck as he watched his daughter rush into the house, crying the entire time. Her emotional outburst affected him more than anything ever had, he felt like he had the wind knocked out of him and he struggled to breathe again. Finally, his brain began functioning again and he realized that his concussed daughter, who was struggling with dizziness and had been told not to move too fast, had just run into the house. He got up to make sure she was physically okay.
He walked across the large deck to the glass patio door. He looked through it and saw Abby and JJ sitting on one of the couches, Abby was crying in her mother's arms and JJ was trying to soothe her. JJ noticed Dave looking through the door and shook her head at him, this was a mother/daughter moment and his presence was neither required nor requested.
Dave sighed and went back to his seat, thinking about his actions over the past four weeks; the damage and pain he had caused his daughter finally dawned on him. God, he was the world's biggest asshole. Not only had he managed to destroy the most loving relationship he'd had with a woman, he had also devastated his own flesh and blood. He remembered telling Jennifer that he would kill anyone who tried to hurt his daughter, and gave a mirthless chuckle as he realized he was the one who had hurt her the worst. He sorely wished that one of the male members of the team was here to give him the royal ass kicking he knew he deserved. He would much rather feel the physical pain of a beating than the emotional pain caused by his daughter's words.
What really sucked for him was he knew she hadn't said anything that was untrue. He had promised to show her the good in life and protect her from the bad things and instead he became the worst thing in her life. His heart nearly broke when she told him he was worse than Will, but she was right about that too; Will didn't know her like he did, she wasn't Will's flesh and blood, so that made what Will did to her seem tame in comparison to the psychological injuries he had inflicted upon her. He knew she still had nightmares over what Will did to them, God only knew what kinds of dreams she was having about him and what he did to them.
Dave wiped away a few stray tears; he wasn't as worried about JJ's emotional well-being as he was about Abby's. JJ was a grown woman who had already developed a healthy psyche. Sure, what he had done years ago and now this probably wasn't helping her trust issues with men, but it wouldn't affect her as much in her later life as it would Abby. God knows how his betrayal of her would affect her relationships with others for the rest of her life. In the four weeks since he left them, he could already tell that she had become more withdrawn and quiet; she wasn't the happy, fun-loving, outspoken girl he remembered. Sure, she had been somewhat shy, but now it was worse, she seemed to internalize things more. The professional, behaviorist part of his brain told him that his actions would have repercussions on her future life; hell all he had to do was look at his own team to see the results of 'daddy issues.'
There was Reid, whose father abandoned him in the same way he abandoned Abby. Reid pushed himself until he was exhausted, trying to prove that he was good enough and that he was smart enough to make it on his own. Then there was Emily, whose father didn't formally abandon her, but was never around while she was growing up. It seemed like Emily put herself into dangerous situations as a way to forget about the pain her father's absence had caused her. And then there was his beloved Jennifer. Jennifer had a father who worked long hours and didn't have time for her. As JJ had told him when they were dating when she was in college, her father also didn't try to hide his disappointment that his only child was a girl. Because of his coldness toward her, JJ didn't trust many people and refused to ask for help when she needed it. Is that how Abby would turn out? Would she be someone who was so independent, she wouldn't ask for help? Would she go into a dangerous profession and put herself at risk as a way to punish him? Would she push herself so hard that she missed out on having a life? Dave prayed that he would be able to fix things with her; he prayed that he wasn't too late to undo some of the damage he had caused.
Inside the house, Abby had a good cry on JJ's shoulder and then fell asleep in her arms. It killed JJ to see both the physical and emotional pain her daughter was in. It was unfair that she had to deal with the pain from her injuries and the aftermath of her father's abandonment at the same time and she hoped Abby was strong enough to handle both of them. Deep down she knew her daughter was strong enough, but she hated seeing her struggle. She swore to herself that once Abby was physically healed, she would do whatever it took to help her heal emotionally, whether it was counseling or moving to Phoenix, she would do whatever it took to get her daughter over this. As Abby whimpered in her sleep, JJ admitted to herself that she hoped Dave would be a part of that healing process. She knew it was up to Abby as to whether or not he remained in their lives, but she hoped Abby would decide to give Dave another chance. JJ had forgiven Dave, but she hadn't told him because if Abby decided not to give him a second chance, she didn't want Dave blaming just her. She knew she wanted Dave back in her life and she also knew that the healing process for Abby had to include her father; otherwise she would have issues with men for the rest of her life.
She looked up when she heard the sliding patio door open. Dave tiptoed through the room and whispered, "It's clouding up out there and it looks like rain; I'm going to work in my study. Let me know when she wakes up and I'll fix an early dinner." JJ nodded as she took in Dave's defeated look, whatever Abby said to him had deeply affected him.
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Two hours later, Abby slowly opened her eyes, not wanting to wake up to the confusion she fell asleep to, but knowing she couldn't ignore it. She found herself lying on the couch with her head on a pillow that was on her mother's lap. Her mom was reading a book and every once in a while she would stroke her hair. Abby laid there for a few minutes, liking the feeling of temporary contentment. Finally, she sat up and looked around, "What time is it?"
"It's four-thirty. How are you feeling?" Her mom asked her.
Abby gave her a small smile, "I've been better," she told her. "I'm going to go sit out on the porch swing."
JJ nodded and started to get up to follow her, but Abby put her hand up, "I need some time by myself mom."
Her mother shook her head, "The doctor said you shouldn't be left alone for this first week."
"I know that, but as much as I love you…and dad, if I don't get some time to myself, I will go insane." JJ looked conflicted, so Abby pressed her case. "You can see the porch swing from the couch so you'll be able to tell if I have any problems. Please mom."
JJ reluctantly nodded her head, "Okay, but take a sweater; it rained earlier and it really cooled things off."
Instead of taking a sweater, Abby grabbed the blanket from the sofa and her cell phone and slowly made her way to her favorite place at the cabin. Once she was settled on the porch swing, she inhaled the scent of the fresh rainfall and it relaxed her. She picked up her cell and dialed a familiar number.
"Abby!" Jack exclaimed when he answered the phone, "You're still alive?!"
"Ha ha, Jack. That's hilarious seeing as I almost drowned," she said sarcastically, but she appreciated his humor. Both of her parents had been walking on eggshells with her and it was nice to have Jack acting normal.
"Yeah, I probably could have said it better, but what can you do? Seriously, how are you?" He asked and that was all Abby needed. Starting to cry for what seemed like the millionth time, she poured everything out to Jack starting with her accident and ending with her outburst at her father. She told him how frustrated she was that she needed his help right now and she confided in him her conflicts about giving him another chance. When she finished, there was silence at the other end of the line.
"Jack, are you there? Please don't tell me the call dropped!" Abby didn't know if she could get all of that out again.
"I'm still here Abs; I just don't know what to say. What is your heart telling you to do? Deep down, what do you really want?" He asked her.
"That's just it; I don't know what I want!" She wailed.
"Yes you do, what you really want is to rewind your life back four weeks so this never happened, but since you can't do that, you need to move forward," he told her. "I've known you for six years and I know that deep down you've always wanted a father, that you've always wanted to be a part of a complete family. Well, now's your chance. Is your dad perfect, no, but who is? I'm not saying what he did to you wasn't shitty, in fact it was downright terrible, but he realized it and is trying to make it up to you."
"I know, but…God, I'm so fucked up right now!" She nearly shouted, "This goddamn injury couldn't have come at a worse time!"
Jack chuckled a little at her outburst, "I know, but look at it as an opportunity. Right now you have time to sit back a little and think; you're not super busy like you usually are. You have to ask yourself if what your dad did to you is worth missing out on having a father who genuinely loves you and cares about you." Jack knew that deep down Abby wanted to give him a second chance, but her stubbornness might prevent her from doing it so he decided to use the heavy gun in his arsenal. "Look Abby, I wish I had your decision to make. My mom was pulled from me without warning, without me getting the chance to say goodbye and I would give anything to get another chance to be with her. You have that chance, don't let it pass you by without really thinking about it, don't let your anger and pain make you do something you'll regret later."
Abby stared out into the woods for a minute, "Thanks Jack, you've helped more than you know."
"I'm glad to do it Abby, call me if you need to talk again," he told her and then ended the call.
Abby stayed there for another hour, pondering the future. When she finally went back inside, her father was cooking dinner and soon after, the three of them sat down for a quiet meal.
After dinner, they all moved to the great room where they watched movies for the rest of the night. All three of them were lost in their own thoughts and no one really paid attention to what was playing on the DVD player. Finally at about ten o'clock, Dave looked over and saw that Abby was sound asleep on the sofa. Pushing stop on the DVD, he went over to her, picked her up and carried her up the stairs as JJ turned out the lights and locked up. They got to the master bedroom where he set her down on the bed tucked her in. He went into the bathroom to change and when he came out he saw that JJ was also in her pj's and had gotten in bed next to Abby. Dave sat on the sofa and stared at both of his girls for a minute.
"God, I really fucked up, didn't I?" He asked.
JJ sat up in bed and nodded, "Yeah, you did. You hurt both of us more than you can ever imagine."
Dave sighed, "JJ, I'm so sor-"
JJ interrupted him, "I know you're sorry Dave and I forgive you. You were right when you said that you've forgiven me for many unforgivable things and as much as I've wanted to hate you for what you did, I can't, I love you too much." She saw his smile and continued on, "But it's ultimately Abby's decision, I can't force her to forgive you and if she can't then we can't continue. Abby and I are a package deal." Dave's smile faded, he honestly didn't know if his daughter could get past this and he once again prayed that she could.
Dave and JJ stayed up talking for the next few hours before they finally turned out the lights, both of them exhausted both from their emotional discussion and from their worry about their daughter.
An hour after he fell asleep, Dave was awakened by a piercing scream. He automatically reached for his gun but realized he wasn't in his bed and his gun wasn't next to him in the drawer. He flipped the lights on, half expecting to see someone attacking one of his girls, but instead he saw his daughter thrashing around on the bed.
"Abby, wake up, wake up!" JJ was saying loudly, trying to put her arms around her daughter, but she was fighting too hard. Dave sat on the other side of Abby, firmly grabbed her wrists in his hands and then threw his arms around her in order to get her to stop moving around as he knew it couldn't be good for her concussion.
"Wake up Pumpkin," he said gently, but got no response. "Abigail Marie Jareau, wake up right now!" He ordered sternly. That got through to her and she stilled. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to find herself in her father's arms.
"Wh-what happened?" She asked pitifully
"You were having a nightmare, do you remember it?" JJ asked, smoothing Abby's hair back from her face.
As her mother was speaking, the dream came back to her. "I dreamed I was in the pool, there was blood all around me and I couldn't come up for air, I was drowning. Everyone was standing at the edge of the pool pointing and laughing at me as I slowly suffocated."
Dave kept his arms around her, "It's okay Pumpkin, you're safe." He saw that she winced as she nodded. "Headache?" He asked her.
She nodded and then winced again, "Yeah, it's not as bad as when I first got home from the hospital, but it's definitely worse than earlier."
Dave reluctantly released her, went into the bathroom and came out with her pain pill and a glass of water. "Down the hatch," he ordered. He knew she was in pain when she didn't fight him on taking it; instead she put the pill in her mouth and then reached for the water glass with shaking hands. She set the glass down on the nightstand and then scooted toward the middle of the bed as her father sat down on it next to her.
"Do you feel like you could go back to sleep?" He asked her.
She nodded, her eyes already feeling heavy again. She snuggled down into the blankets and sighed.
"How do you feel honey?" Her mother asked her.
With her father on one side of her and her mother on the other, Abby gave an honest answer, "Safe," she mumbled as her eyes closed and she fell back asleep.
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Abby awoke three hours later, and the first thing she was aware of was that she had much less room to stretch than she had previously had. She looked to her right and saw the reason for her limited mobility. Her father was lying next to her, softly snoring; he must have fallen asleep there last night. She looked to her left and saw that her mother was also asleep, and she was softly mumbling nonsense. Abby laid there for another hour feeling safe and protected before going back to sleep.
Four hours later, while her father was downstairs fixing breakfast, Abby turned to her mother and said, "Okay."
JJ looked puzzled, "Okay what?"
Taking a deep breath, Abby said, "I'm willing to give him a second chance, I'm able to forgive him."
Her mother looked at her for a minute, "Are you sure honey? I don't want you to rush into this decision; I don't want you to think that just because I've forgiven him, you have to as well."
"No, I've thought about it and I talked to Jack yesterday and this is what I want."
A smile broke across JJ's face, "Then I think we should tell your father, don't you?"
Abby gave her a smile of her own, "I think we should."
They didn't have to wait long, as Dave came back into the room ten minutes later with a tray laden with bagels and cream cheese.
"I hope you both are hungry, I think I have enough bagels here to feed a small country." He looked at both of them and saw they were smiling. "What?" He asked.
"Sit down David," JJ said, gesturing toward the foot of the bed; she and Abby were both sitting at the head.
Nervously setting the tray down on the nightstand, Dave climbed onto the bed and sat down. He was scared, he knew whatever they were about to tell him was big.
JJ looked at him for a moment, "We've decided to give you another chance."
Dave released a breath he didn't know he had been holding, "Really?" He practically whispered, looking first at JJ and then at Abby.
Abby nodded and with tears in her voice, she said, "Really. No matter what you've done to us, I still love you and I want more of the good times we had; I want us to be a family again."
With tears in his eyes, he looked at JJ who nodded her agreement with what their daughter had just said. Unable to speak, he gathered both of them into his arms where they stayed for quite awhile.
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Okay, it's another monster chapter, but I didn't post anything yesterday and I couldn't find a good point to break this chapter up.
