Hopeless
"I can't believe this." AJ shook her head, sitting across from Punk at a bench in the visiting halls of the prison. It was so good to see his face. So good to hear his comforting voice which made things seem not as bad as they were.
Punk had explained what had happened at the house, about Myles and Danny, the death of his foster parents and everything that went on in between. She was shocked to say the least, and he was shocked to see her like this.
"So… So Myles is going to prison?" AJ asked him.
"Yeah." Punk said, "I don't think that was part of his plan. You know, maybe he was even setting me up, make it look like I killed my foster parents but… it didn't work out and… him and Danny are both at the station. I'm getting updates on what's happening."
"M-Maybe… Maybe I could… I could get out." AJ said, "If the police know how shady Myles is, maybe they'll look back on his statement he made about me." She said hopefully as Punk just sighed and looked across at her.
"I-I wouldn't get your hopes up." Punk nodded as AJ sighed and nodded. All she had was false hope.
"Twelve years." AJ said, "That's the deal I'm supposed to take." She looked across at him.
"Oh my God." Punk shook his head.
"My lawyer seems to think that I'm being convicted for the length of time I left the body and not the actual killing. Makes me look guiltier the fact that I ran off." She said, "Maybe it serves me right."
"No… hey, you don't deserve to be here, April. You… You were protecting yourself that night and you can't… you can't blame yourself." He shook his head, "And you never buried any body so… I don't know where the hell they've pulled that from."
"Myles." AJ shook her head.
"Forget about him. Forget about all of that. They're… they're being dealt with now and… Myles is never gonna get to Kace." He nodded as she smiled.
"Is he ok?" AJ asked in a quiet voice as Punk nodded.
"Yeah, he's fine, April." Punk assured her comfortingly.
"Is he… is he asking where I am?" AJ asked.
"Yeah, he's a bit confused. I just… I told him you were busy. I haven't thought of something to say yet." He said as AJ nodded, "Is… is everything ok? You know… inside? I know it's a stupid question but… I know how prisons work." He said, "You ok?"
"I'm ok." AJ said, "I've only been here a day. Barely got a chance to piss anyone off yet." She said as he smiled a little, "I got a nice cell mate." She shrugged as Punk sighed. He could see how much this was killing her, but he could almost see it as if she had accepted that this was happening to her, which he hated. He couldn't believe this was where they were at. They were supposed to be getting married and starting a future together.
"Why didn't you tell me you were bipolar?" Punk had to ask her as she looked up with wide eyes.
"Who told you?" She asked.
"Myles. Didn't know whether to believe him or not considering the shit that comes out of his mouth but… I had to ask." He said.
"It just… it wasn't important." AJ said.
"What were you afraid I would do?" Punk asked, "Run away from you?"
"I don't know." AJ shook her head, "I just didn't want you to look at me differently. I finally found something really good with you in Chicago and… and keeping it from you made me feel more normal." She nodded as he sighed.
"April." Punk sighed sadly, reaching his hand over and taking hers gently, "I'm gonna be here, alright?" He sighed.
"You don't have to be." AJ shook her head, "I-I'm messed up." She nodded, "And I should never have attached myself to you because I've only… I've only brought you down with me." She said.
"No… no, you haven't." Punk said, "April, none of this is your fault. I'm not gonna turn my back on you." He promised her firmly, "Ok, that's a promise." He said.
"Phil, I'm gonna be in here for a long time." AJ shook her head, "What is the point?" She asked him tearfully.
"I love you. That's the point." Punk told her, "And I'm not gonna turn my back on you, no matter how long this… this drags out for." He said, "I'm so sorry I can't… I can't do anything to help you." He shook his head as AJ just smiled tearfully.
"You're a good man." AJ nodded, taking her hand from his and wiping her tears as Punk sighed. It broke him completely to see the woman he loved so isolated like this, and knowing he'd not be able to hold her the same or comfort her the same was killing him.
"I'm gonna… I'm gonna take care of Kace until this is over." Punk promised her, "I promise you, he'll be safe." He assured her as AJ smiled and nodded. She knew her son would be safe with him. It was the only thing that was making things bearable. Knowing he was ok.
"What if… What if this is it?" AJ whispered, "I mean… Myles and Danny are in prison, Alice and Gerry are dead… but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here." She said, "It's not getting me out, is it?" She shook her head.
"Maybe… Maybe some light will be shed during your trial." He said, trying to keep positive even though it was difficult, "Maybe it won't be as bad." He said as AJ just shook her head and sighed.
"How is… How is Bonnie? And Violet?" She asked, trying to cover everything during the short visit.
"Bonnie is struggling a little." Punk nodded, "She's blaming herself for not helping me when I was a kid. In fact, she's pretty ill." He admitted, "I left her throwing up in the kitchen." He said, "But Dean is there, he's… he's been good to her." He smiled, "She's just in shock. By everything."
"I think we all are." AJ said, "It just… it all came tumbling down so quickly." She said, "One minute we were in bed together and… and next I'm waking up in here." She shook her head.
"I know." Punk said, "We just… we gotta stay positive, alright?" He said.
"How?" AJ's voice broke, "I… I might not see Kace until… until he's a teenager." She said, blinking tears which fell onto the table as Punk swallowed the lump in his throat.
"You just can't think like that." Punk sighed, "I can… I can bring Kace to see you." He nodded, watching as she dried her tears quickly, patting under her eyelids and sighing.
"I just wanna come home." She shook her head.
"I know, baby." Punk nodded, listening as the speaker through the walls announced visiting time coming to an end as AJ's heart sank as did Punk's, "I'll… I'll come tomorrow." He assured her as she smiled, standing up as he stood with her, immediately pulling her over by the waist and wrapping his arms around her tightly as she pressed her body into his.
It felt so good to be in his arms, she just wished it was under better circumstances. It meant so much and she hadn't quite realised just how much she needed his love.
"Can I kiss you?" Punk asked her, looking around at the wardens standing around the doors to escort people back.
"No." AJ shook her head, "They'll… they'll think you're giving me drugs or something." She shook her head and frowned as Punk nodded.
"Ok." Punk whispered.
"Mendez, let's go!" A warden spoke loudly over by the door as AJ stepped back from Punk as he watched her.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Punk promised as she nodded and smiled, turning and walking out of the hall to be escorted back to her cell as Punk stood, running his hands through his hair.
Punk got back to Bonnie's place later that night. He wandered through to the living room where Dean was sitting with Violet in his arms who was fast asleep. The house seemed strangely quiet which worried Punk.
"Hey." Punk announced quietly, so not to wake his niece, "Where is Bonnie? And Kace?" He asked.
"Kace is asleep. We gave him some dinner and then I put him to bed. Bonnie is lying down. She's pretty sore and tired." Dean said as Punk nodded, putting his car keys down on the coffee table and collapsing on the couch across from Dean, "Did you see her?"
"Yeah." Punk nodded.
"How is she holding up?" He asked quietly.
"She's… She's doing better than I thought." Punk admitted, "But… it's killing me." He shook his head, "Knowing I can't do anything to help her. And… And her lawyer wants her to take a deal. 12 years." Punk shook his head, "But… But twelve years for fighting off a rapist? Is that what she gets?" Punk shook his head.
"It's rough." Dean nodded, "It's not fair. Especially on Kace. And you. You know I've never saw you as happy as what I did when you were with AJ." Dean said, "Those bastards just… they just treat life like a game, don't they?" He shook his head.
"Fuck them. Fuck all of them. They're all where they're supposed to be." Punk spat.
"One of the cops from the station called when you were out." Dean said, "Bonnie took the call. They've got Danny being transferred back to prison. Obviously, he breached his parole which, he'll get another few years onto a new sentence so… he's out of the equation." He said, "And they're still questioning Myles but… he murdered two people. He'll die in prison." Dean shrugged.
"Good." Punk said.
"What do you think is gonna happen?" Dean asked, "You know, with AJ?"
"I don't know." Punk said, "I'm scared to think about it." He said, "She's… it's like she's already preparing herself to get her sentence." He said, "I… I don't know if I can watch her get sent down for twelve years, Dean." Punk shook his head, going pale white at the thought of it all.
"Twelve years could mean half of that time. You got good behaviour and she could get out on parole." Dean said.
"Ok, that's still six years." Punk shook his head.
"I know." Dean sighed, "I wish there was… something I could say or do to help." Dean said, "This is just… it's a mess." He nodded.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Punk said, running his hand over his face.
"You need to sleep. You look like shit." Dean said.
"I feel like shit." Punk sighed.
"Here." Dean stood up, walking over to him as Punk watched, "You take her and I'll grab you some blankets and pillows. Just crash here for the night." He said, passing sleeping Violet down to Punk who took the baby girl with ease and nodded, watching as Dean disappeared as he looked down at his niece.
He got a form of comfort from holding her. She was so tiny and precious, that looking at her made everything seem that little bit better. He didn't know what to do anymore. There wasn't anything he could do. Shockingly, he felt like his whole world had come crashing down, and the thought of not getting to spend the next few years with AJ, and having her so isolated and punished, it killed him, and he didn't know if he could watch her get sentenced for years.
A/N: I apologise that it's not really in the Christmas spirit. This will be the last upload I make before Christmas so I wish all of you who read, review and follow the stories I make, a merry merry Christmas! Stay safe and have a wonderful time! I'll be back with more asap. Love, Lauren.
