Chapter Forty Nine
Bella
The sound of the shower woke me, I had planned to stay awake until he returned but maybe he stayed away to be sure I would be asleep when he got back and he could have some peace from my nagging. I touched my forehead sure I would feel something but it was smooth, yet I felt as if something were touching it, something cool and soothing. I sat up and closed the book waiting for him to come back out then decided that might seem as if I were about to question him so I lay down again and turned to one side so I could watch him, I knew he would tell I was awake from my emotions but he might decide to keep quiet hoping I would follow suit.
The door opened eventually and he came out wearing just a pair of loose cotton pants and drying his hair with a towel. The shaft of moonlight from the window bathed him in a soft glow and looking at him I could be forgiven for thinking I was hallucinating. His skin shone and it was just possible to see the scars that covered his body, scars from his life with Maria, scars that Edward had told me about when he warned me how dangerous Jasper was. They looked like a subtle tribal tattoo and I found myself longing to touch them, feel the ridges in his cool skin with my fingers. Whoa! I reined myself in, this was getting dangerous so I stretched and yawned as he turned to look at me,
"Did I wake you?"
"Not really, I was only dozing. Did you find something?"
He nodded, his eyes never leaving my face and I felt the tension in the air like static, then he turned away and took the towel back into the bathroom giving me time for a couple of deep breaths to pull myself together.
When he came back out her was carrying his shirt but he didn't put it on, instead sitting in the chair and closing his eyes although I knew full well he couldn't be asleep.
"Put the TV on of you like, it wont bother me"
"I'm fine Bella."
"We could go on if you like. I can sleep in the car."
"Its OK really"
I sat up,
"Look I know you are eager to get to your destination and I don't want to hold you up so..."
He opened his eyes and cut across my flow,
"Is there anything that shuts you up?"
I smiled and shook my head,
"Annoying you aren't I? Well its something"
He got up with a sigh and went to the window leaving me with the sight of his profile,
"You're watching me."
"I know"
"Why?"
"Just wondering"
"What?"
"Never mind. I'm going to sleep"
I snuggled down again blushing. I'd been wondering how Maria and Alice had both held this man's heart in their hands and just thrown it away. Why would any woman do such a thing? But there was no way I was telling him that. A) he probably wouldn't understand and B) it would give him ammunition against me, let him know I fancied him.
Jasper
I stayed at the window until I heard her heartbeat slow and knew she was asleep once more. Bella said she wasn't afraid of me but every time we were together in private her heart would beat faster and louder, if not fear then what? Yet here she was sleeping in a room with a vampire seemingly without a care in the world. I didn't understand her at all, she was deep unlike most humans I had met and she fascinated me much as I tried to be neutral around her. My plan of giving up, of leaving my emotions behind really wasn't working, how could it when I was constantly being goaded by Bella and yet I couldn't throw her out. I hated her for making me feel but the feelings were so mixed up, she made me angry and frustrated but at the same time she made me feel good inside, gave me a hint of the peace and warmth that she could help me feel but only if I gave way to my own feelings and doing that never ended well for me. I refused to acknowledge the way I felt about her, as long as I didn't acknowledge or speak of it I could continue to ignore its presence. I found myself standing over the bed again watching her sleep. She looked so soft and vulnerable, I could kill her now and she would know nothing about it but I knew I wouldn't. I could reach down and take her in my arms, kiss her sweet lips and hold her close but I wouldn't, Bella Swan was dangerous and I should send her packing but I wouldn't. Instead I drew a chair up and sat down watching her sleep, one of my hands creeping across the sheets to touch hers very gently so as not to wake her. I knew I would be back at the window before she could open her eyes and I sat hour after hour just immersing myself in her presence.
When she woke up I had gassed up the car and put my gear in the trunk ready, I wanted her to think I was impatient although inside I would be happy if this road trip never ended as it inevitably must soon enough.
"Ready?"
"Give me twenty minutes."
She went into the bathroom taking her bag with her and I sat waiting, true to her word she was ready to leave in twenty minutes although of course she hadn't had time for coffee or any breakfast but she didn't complain just threw her bag in the trunk alongside mine and then got in the car ready to go.
"Don't you want breakfast?"
"I'll eat later. I don't want you bitching I'm holding you up"
"Suit yourself"
I got in and we pulled out onto the interstate,
"How far will we get today?"
"Why? You bored? I can stop and let you out, just say the word"
She sighed,
"And I thought we'd established you weren't going to throw me out and I wasn't going voluntarily, are we really going to start from base camp again?"
I shrugged and threw her the map,
"Choose somewhere."
"For what?"
"Dinner."
Bella
I looked at the map nervously, I was great with numbers and words but give me a map and my mind shut down. All the coloured lines and names just became a jumble and my palms started to sweat.
"Where are we exactly?"
"We've just left Ephrata."
"Still headed north?"
"Yes Bella still headed north, just pick somewhere."
I kept my fingers crossed I'd got it right,
"Omak will do. I'll be hungry by then.
He nodded and took the map back throwing it into the back of the car.
"Omak it is then"
We didn't speak again until he drove into Omak and I was looking at the scenery, the mountains looked spectacular if cold and harsh and then bringing myself back to earth I looked round for a place to eat and saw the Breadline Café.
"Right, I'm going hunting for a meal. I wont be longer than an hour but I need a couple of things from the store too. What will you do?"
"Probably drive off and leave you"
I pulled a face as I got out of the car then leaned back in,
"See you in an hour Jasper"
He ignored me but I knew he would be here when I returned just like he knew I wouldn't walk away from him and not return.
