When Was The Last Time You?
Chapter Fifty Four: When Was The Last Time You Were Excited?
A Tale By: In The Shadows I Dwell
"Get excited and enthusiastic about you own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire - you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away."
My throat dried, the tears welled up within my eyes, I sunk to my knees. None of these actions voluntary I can assure you. It felt as though the world had shifted beneath my feet, rendering me incapable of holding my own weight any longer causing my balance to be thrown, as well as my already slipping composure. I felt my hand grab one of the letters still sealed within its envelope and ripped it open two small pieces of paper falling to the ground at my knees. I snatched the pieces up my eyes falling open the contents, the concern growing deeply within me. I fought the tears back, I would cry, I could not. I had shed enough tears to last an entire lifetime, I would not succumb to my emotions this times. My eyes scanned the letters; they contained few words, simply an apology and a request that I meet them in the Forest of Dean as soon as possible.
I quickly grabbed another letter ripping it open, and then another until finally I had no others to open. The letters left me feeling emotionally drained, apathetic. It was almost as though I felt that I had lost the ability to feel anything, I could barely sense Draco's presence, my fear and worry drowning out all other emotions and senses. The world could have ended and I would not have noticed, I could have aged one hundred years and I would not have noticed. It was as though just a simple sentence had changed everything, that anger and resentment within me vanishing, replaced by concern, fear and love – love for my best friends. The love I had always felt for them as what could almost be described as the love I felt for the only brothers I had ever known. I concluded that something had gone terribly wrong, the Horcruxes were not as they appeared and they were becoming increasingly difficult to keep, they had to be worn; there was nowhere else to put them; however this left them vulnerable to their power.
They needed help to destroy it, and they needed the help now or else as Harry had pointed out, the result would be less than pleasant. Already he had noticed Ron slipping beneath the waves of anger and resentment that even Harry had felt while wearing the wretched objects. I clambered to my feet, numbly and grabbed my book bag emptying it upon my bed and pulling several handfuls of clothes from within my cupboard. I searched frantically for my wand which lay on my desk closely followed by the toiletries bag which appeared upon the corner of my bed suddenly. I threw it all into my bag, not knowing what exactly I had packed or how long I would be gone, only knowing that I would be leaving at this very moment. I looked up at Draco who was still standing exactly as he was minutes ago in the doorway. He looked at me, the look in his eyes showing that he knew he could not follow me this time no matter how much he wanted to.
I grabbed the bag and slung it over my shoulder a sensation of excitement, fear and worry rising within me as I walked towards the door. He outstretched his arms and enclosed me lovingly within his warm grasp; the emotion from him was almost infectious. I could almost feel his worry and anger that he could not follow me, that he could not be there to protect me this time. I pressed my lips to his, sweetly, leaving me longing for more as I pulled away. His eyes still closed and his breathing shallow, as though he was fighting against his better judgment to keep me here. I was fighting my better judgment also; however my better judgment told me that I should be going and not staying, the complete opposite. Almost as though Draco and I while being the opposites of each other's personalities we could work together, as though the light within me brightened the darkness within him. Fire and ice working in perfect harmony together no matter how contradictory that seemed.
"I'm sorry I have to leave like this." I whispered.
His voice was soft, gentle almost as he hugged me tightly his breath upon my neck. "I'm sorry I can't go with you."
"I have to do this alone," I said. "only I can fix this."
"I know." He replied. "Come back soon."
"I'll be back before you know it. If I'm gone more than three days alert McGonagall. Other than that, do not tell another soul where I am or why I've left more importantly. I love you, remember that. I love you and only you."
"I know. I love you." He whispered pressing his lips to my forehead allowing me to step towards the fireplace in the shared living room.
I saw a small container sitting upon the mantelpiece above the large fireplace. I quickly walked up to it grasping the container in my hand, the sudden realisation that I could not use the Floo Network to appear in the middle of a forest. I quickly pocketed the container looking around, before noticing the painting above the fireplace; it was large, contained within a beautiful golden frame. It had always contained an empty hallway, however now a young blue eyed girl wearing a white dress was smiling pleasantly at me, her hand outstretched. I carefully grasped the smooth, cool edge of the frame and pulled it forwards, as though I knew what to do by instinct. The portrait peeled away from the wall hinged against the stone revealing a large and open passageway. I glanced back at the girl upon the front; she was waving at me in a fashion that seemed to suggest that she wished for me to follow her. I looked back at Draco who shook his head viciously at me.
"What are you doing?" He cried. "Don't go in there who knows where it'll lead or who will be at the opposite end?"
"I have a good feeling about this." I replied throwing my bag into the tunnel first. "I think it's going to lead me to somewhere I can Apparate from."
"Are you barking mad?" He asked grabbing my hand. "Hermione, listen to yourself. You're climbing into a tunnel, you don't know where it leads, who will be waiting at the opposite end, or more importantly whether they mean you harm. Consider another option."
"Would it be somewhat lame of me to repeat what I just said?" I asked. "I have a good feeling about this." I whispered wrenching my hand from his grasp and clambering into the tunnel with little effort required. As I looked back I saw the look of shock on Draco's face as the portrait swung shut, leaving me completely enveloped within the darkness.
I took a shallow breath, the air full of dust causing me to cough and splutter. I could not hear a sound aside from my breathing. I crawled along the ground quickly groping in the darkness for my bag. I found it several metres from the entrance. I quickly slug it over my shoulder grabbing my wand and causing a bright beam of light to suddenly burst to life within the tunnel, blinding me for several seconds. Once the initial shock of the sudden amount of light had vanished I looked around, the tunnel really was not as small as it had seemed, in fact, it led sharply downwards but was of a height that allowed me to walk. I stood up brushing the dust quickly off my clothes, not that it would matter, it seemed as though everything about the tunnel screamed that it had never been used, or only several times. I doubted that even Fred and George had found this tunnel; it would have not been on the map, the Room of Requirement protecting it.
I walked onwards for what seemed like an unnecessary amount of time, the tunnel curving, shifting in width and height and rising and dropping almost unexpectedly. I finally noticed a light far off into the distance. It seemed odd that the tunnel would end in an open area that would make it easy for anyone to simply find it and gain entry to the castle. As I approached the light I realised that it was simply another portrait of the young girl. However this time she was facing the opposite way, he arm outstretched as though she was pushing something I could not see away from her. I placed a hand upon the canvas feeling it shift beneath the simple weight of my hand. I applied a little more pressure and found the entire canvas shifting entirely causing me to spill from behind yet another hinged portrait and into the most unlikely place of all – The Hogs Head.
I stood, wincing in pain as I did so. I had fallen a good couple of meters from above the fireplace and onto the dusty, stone floor beneath. I glanced up; the usual barman was standing with his mouth agape, dirty rag and glass in hand. It was at that moment that I noticed something; he shared the same familiar blue eyes as the young girl in the painting. I swallowed as he dropped the glass he was holding, causing it to shatter into hundreds of pieces upon the ground. I gasped throwing a hand to my mouth to stifle the sound.
"How did you find the passageway?" He asked suddenly, stuttering slightly. "No student has ever… No student knows…"
"I found it entirely by accident. I can assure you. I don't mean any harm." I replied quickly.
"I know you don't Miss Granger."
"How do you…" I begun before being cut off.
"Know your name?" He asked pulling his wand from within his jacket and cleaning up the mess at his feet. "The entire bloody wizarding world knows your name. You're spoken about quite a lot here, you've managed to evade capture surprisingly well, and the fact that the golden trio is no longer a trio interests many. It's skyrocketed your name right up there with Mr. Potter's."
"That's not possible…" I replied. "I haven't done anything that interests anyone."
"Do you know how many people the Ministry has caught all of which are in your situation? How many of those have been underage? How many are still at large?"
"Many?" I replied.
"The number is less than ten." He replied quickly. "I suggest you leave soon, you may be seen by some unfriendly faces if you choose to remain here any longer."
I swallowed before plucking up the courage to ask a simple question, his statement throwing my nerves entirely. "May I Apparate from within this building?" I asked.
"If you leave now you may. I don't want to be at the receiving end of the Death Eater's anger if you're caught in here. Go. Shoo!" He said moving his hands in a sweeping motion the last mental image I had as I closed my eyes spinning on spot, before reopening my eyes glancing upon the familiar surrounds of The Forest of Dean.
I glanced around, almost as though I was expecting to see Harry or Ron sitting upon one of the ugly couches that tent contained in the middle of the large open space. I took a double look at each corner of the space; there was nothing that indicated that there was another living soul present in this place, the cool wind washing over me as I looked even more desperately for any sign of Harry or Ron. Finally I opened my mouth, in a last resort and screamed as loudly as I could: "Ron!" Before drawing in another deep breath and screaming so loudly that the echo rebounded upon the nearby trees: "Harry!"
And as the birds soared from within the trees, higher and higher into the sky I felt even more alone in this place. The excitement that had risen within my chest at the possibility of seeing them again vanished. There was no reply, there was only silence.
Dedicated To: Him, you taught me what it feels like to have a broken heart, but you also at the same time you built me back up again, excited for the chance to love again.
***
Author's Note: I've been experiencing problems with my account all week, however that does not by any means make up for my slackness. It's holidays here so I'll be trying to get up to Chapter Sixty in the next couple of weeks! The quote is rather special, it was placed inside a book I was given, and it inspires me each and every time I open the cover.
Song: The Only Exception – Paramore.
