Sorry for the complete lack of updates, guys. But with school and college searching, I have been super busy. Busy as fucken hell. But it's Summer. (Fucking hell yeah) And I will have opportunities to work on my fanfics (yes both of them) almost every night, so expect possible weekly updates. :P

As always I thank those who have stuck with my story through writer's block and terrible writing. Amen my fellow fanfictioneers.

P.S. I plan on editing the earlier chapters of this story, considering my writing has improved, so I'd like to work on them.


Chapter fifty one

I still sat by Leo's side as I had promised, with my hand lightly on his forehead. I stayed for the whole ordeal, it took Don, Splinter and Vance to get Leo's knee to relocate. Leaving Donnie in wonder how Leo had managed it himself three times before. He thought that maybe Leo hadn't done it correctly when he did it, considering it took the three of them to relocate it. After an hour of icing it, Donnie was now carefully wrapping it in bandages, Splinter and Vance had gone off to bed about twenty minutes ago, leaving us in silence. Donnie finished wrapping Leo's knee then sat quietly on the coffee table behind him, planting his hands on his legs as he stare at Leo's knee.

"Everything alright Don?" I asked, leaving my spot and sitting down next to Donnie.

"Yeah. Yeah I guess." He sighed leaning over and packing up his bag. "I just don't know how else to help him, Koda." Donnie said looking up at me.

"Do whatever you know how to do, Donnie. I'm sure you'll find something." I said resting a hand on his shoulder.

He sighed. "Its not that simple." He said shaking his head as he went back to packing, so I squeezed his shoulder with a reassuring smile. Donnie grinned in return, but it was quickly dropped with the opening slam of the front door and a sulking Raph stomping towards the stairs without even so much as a glance in our direction. Casey came in quietly behind him and shut the door.

"He uh... might need a little more time... Meanwhile I'd expect some more ice caps to melt." Casey said jokingly but then looked down as he'd realized it hadn't shaken a laugh out of either of us. With his head down he followed Raph up the stairs. I looked back at Don as he dropped his head like he had failed, a look I've seen on Leo more than once.

Donnie glanced back up towards me with a hopeful look. "Maybe there is something I can try..." Donnie trailed off looking forward, obviously becoming swarmed by a wave of scientific possibilities.

"Well, what are ya thinkin'?" I asked as he continued staring off.

"I'm not entirely sure yet." He said with a sparkle in his eyes. "I'ma go work in my lab for a bit." He said standing and grabbing his things, he turned to start for the door, but he spun around and faced me. "Oh, here. If Leo wakes up, give him two of these. It's some pain meds, he'll need 'em." Donnie said tossing me a little bottle of pills.

"If he's still willing to take them." I said with a joking sigh. "What about you? Don't stay up all night, guy." I said placing the pills on the coffee table.

"No promises." Donnie flashed a smile as he head for the door.

"Leo, can't walk, but he will still wake up and carry you back in, Donnie." I joked, remembering a few of the times Leo scolded Donnie for pulling all nighters and dragged him from his lab by the legs.

"After this he will." Donnie said sliding through the door and shutting it quietly. I shook my head, when Donnie gets an idea there is no stopping him. That's the Donnie that's been missing all these months.


I had unknowingly fallen asleep on the coffee table next to Leo, I discovered this the second I felt something drape over me and I startled awake to find Leo had tossed the other half of his blanket onto me from the couch. It was barely enough to cover the both of us and the distance of the two foot gap between the table and the couch, so half stayed on me the rest fell to the floor.

I yawned and sat up, squinting at the dim light coming from the lamp on the night stand, "Leo... you're up." I said groggily rubbing my eyes. "What time is it?" I asked stretching.

"Yeah. And I don't know, I'd say about three A.M." He replied in a whisper.

"Donnie said uh..." I trailed off, tiredly trying to recall what Don said earlier. "Oh... Um here, Donnie said you'll need pain killers." I said picking them up off the table and the half full glass of water that surprisingly hadn't fallen over.

"Thank God." Leo loudly whispered in relief. I handed him said things, helped him to sit up and he took the pills, I set everything down on the little nightstand on the side of the couch, to avoid their being knocked over on the coffee table.

"So it hurts?" I asked, scratching my bed-hair... well table hair now I suppose.

"Yeah." Leo winced as he moved a bit to try and reach the fallen blanket.

"I got it." I yawned, picking it up and placing it back over him, then I laid back down half awake on the table. "There, all good in the hood."

Leo grunted, "I wanted you to be warm. It cooled off in here. Not to mention it can't be comfortable sleeping on a table."

"Is'fine." I half said with a smile, curling up on the table and closing my eyes, just trying to get back to sleep regardless of where I was. I heard Leo chuckle a bit, I opened my eyes feeling the table slide along the floor as he pulled the table up against the couch. He then threw the blanket over the both of us and slid his arm under my head to act as a pillow.

"There, now I'm good." He stated with a smile before shutting his eyes and drifting off. I smiled and snuggled into Leo's arm then began to fall asleep again myself, feeling much more comfortable.


"Heh Koda, I did it. I done it now." Donnie's seemingly loud voice hovered over me as he shook me awake.

"Who? What? Did what?" I asked in groggy annoyance as I threw his hands off my shoulders and sat up, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

"I made a- Made a-" Don sputtered excitedly and with a rather exhausted, crazed look in his eyes.

"Jeez Don just spit it out." I said trying to push some distance between us as he was right in my face.

"I stayed up all night. I made a prototype knee brace for Leo. I think it'll help him!" He said hurriedly, then continued rambling about all the science behind it.

"Don, how much coffee have you had?" I asked standing and taking the sleeping Leo's arm and placing it back on the couch next to him.

"Fourteen." He said jittery. I gave him a wide-eyed look before heading to the kitchen with him hot on my heals.

I went to start getting stuff out for breakfast. "Donnie, lay off the caffeine for a bit, yeah?" I said pulling down some plates from the cupboards.

"Don't worry I haven't had any in like... twenty minutes." Donnie said in a rather proud tone, I shook my head.

We all went through our usual breakfast routine once everybody was up. Well, except for the fact that Raph did the dishes like he's been doing lately, even though he was mad at me. I put a plate together for Leo after everyone dispersed, leaving Raph who was doing the dishes and Donnie who passed out with his head on the table and was now drooling all over himself.

Out of nowhere James came sneaking into the kitchen, carrying a robust, handcrafted airhorn of sorts and blasted it next to Donnie's head. Donnie jumped up and fell backwards over the chair, screaming at the top of is lungs. James burst into laughter while Don scrambled to get off the floor and untangle himself from the fallen chair, even Raph laughed a bit.

"Nice one, little bro." I complimented, clapping a hand on his shoulder as I left the room.

"Not nice!" Donnie yelled from behind me.

I went over to the couch and set the plate of eggs and bacon on the table. I sat next to Leo, rubbing his shoulder to wake him up. Leo opened his eyes almost instantly as if he were already awake.

"Hey there sleepy head." I said patting his plastron. Leo replied with a small smile.

"I brought you some breakfast, better eat it before Mikey sniffs it out." I chuckled bringing the plate over from the coffee table.

"Sweet thanks!" Leo said gleefully, sitting up to take the plate. I handed it to him and he dug in pretty quickly, I laughed rolling my eyes.

"Want to get outside for a bit after you're done eating? Watch us train?" I asked Leo as he finished some toast.

"No, not really in the mood for it... right now." He said. I realized that was poor question, considering Leo couldn't participate once again and it would only bother him to watch.

"Alright then. See you in bit then." I said with a smile, patting his shoulder.


Morning training didn't last long, it was a bit colder today and the guys being half reptile, weren't taking it very well. The weather had been warming and we were all starting to get used to it, the yard had more grass than snow now, but still it got cold at night and the mountains were still packed with snow, even though it was late March. So Mikey proposed a turtle hunt training session in the afternoon and Splinter agreed.

As we all went to go in, sweaty, tired and sore, I found myself behind Raph and the last one in. It dawned on me we haven't spoken at all since the night before, I still had a few words for the guy, he made me feel like crap over nothing. Not to mention, I really hoped that's not how he felt. So I grabbed him by the shoulder, causing him to jerk away and turn around.

"What the hell do you want now, Wheat thin?" He asked rather loudly, making Mikey and Donnie turn around. Donnie shut the door, blocking the inside occupants from hearing the impending conversation between us two hot heads.

"Are you still mad at me over nothing? Done blaming me for stuff I didn't do?" I asked folding my arms and glaring at him. "Because I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame you for anything except this." I said pointing to my bruised cheek. I was indeed mad at him, how could he say the things he did last night after all we've been through?

"Koda." Donnie said through his teeth in warning.

"I am. And I'll give you another on the other cheek you little runt." He said clenching his fist and bringing it up threateningly. Donnie stepped off the porch with Mikey in tow.

I squinted my eyes in irritation. "So you're not sorry? And you still hate me for what reason again?" I asked agitatedly and sarcastically.

"No. And you know why!" He said taking a step closer. Donnie and Mikey grabbed him by the shoulders.

"No actually I don't." I said in a sarcastic tone to irritate him.

Mikey chuckled nervously, "Raph how about we cool-"

"Zip it!" He said tugging away from them. He glared back at me, "you know perfectly well why I'm pissed at you. You ruined this family. You came here and then did stupid things that lead to all this. If you hadn't gone out that day, If you didn't have to be outside, none of this would've happened! We could've already dropped you off back in your war-torn, Kraang infested dimension!" He blurted throwing his hands to the side. "You're the reason we're stuck here! You're the reason Leo's screwed up!"

"No she's not!" Mikey yelled, pounding Raph's shoulder with his fist.

"You know perfectly well she is!" Raph responded pushing Mikey away. I was almost shaking I was so upset. I looked down at my boots, I suppose he wasn't wrong, that's kind of on me. I should've listened in the first place.

"See she knows!" Raph said pointing at me in reaction to my looking downwards. "I'm tired of this! I'm tired of caring for something we don't need to! We never had to take her in! She's only sticking with us because we're the only ones who can take her back to potato land, so why don't we already!?"

"That's not true." I mumbled quietly, just enough for Raph to hear.

"Because its not safe yet, Raph! Our mission is to protect her, save her family and her dimension. We can only do that when the time is right and everyone is at their strongest and we're prepared. It's going to be a battle."

"Well it certainly won't be my battle! I could care less about her and her family, its not our job. She's just a mission and a burden and you all know it." He seethed. Mikey and Donnie just glared at him with shock and anger on their faces, but how could I know those looks were real?

I looked up at Raph sadly with tears welling in my eyes. If he was willing to state this all again, then clearly this is how he felt and I meant nothing to him. I was just part of them being the heroes they think they are. I was only another mission, obviously a long, dragged out, costly mission.

Donnie suddenly shoved Raph out of the way and made him stumble to the ground, then looked at me worriedly, "Koda, none of what he says is true. That's not how it is. You know that." He said calmly- but could I believe that?

Before I knew it Raph was on top of Donnie pummeling him into the ground; the same scene from last night, those two fighting, Mikey in tears, me torn on what to do and how to feel. I froze, uncertain of what to do next. Next thing I knew Leo rushed out the door, stumbled down the stairs of the porch, leaped over to the two fighting brothers and began trying to pry them apart.

"Both of you knock it off! Now!" He yelled, he grabbed Raph and yanked him off Donnie and then as if in slow motion, we all watched as Raph swung at Leo's head, knocking him to the ground. Like lightning Leo shot up, grabbed Raph, twisted him around and slammed him face first into the ground and held his arm behind his shell like he was ready to break it.

"What the shell is going on?!" He demanded pulling Raph's arm tighter behind his back causing Raph to grunt in pain. I started crying, I caused all this, them fighting was on me. I looked at them, Donnie was laying on the ground, rubbing his head, Mikey was shaking and crying and Leo had blood trickling down the side of his temple as he held Raph in a very painful position. Leo himself was shaking from the pain in his knee, I could sense it, but he ran out here because he heard the arguement... which I undeniably started.

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend." Raph grunted and spat out blood from his freshly bruised lip.

Leo looked up at me, his face dropping immediately. "Koda why are you crying?" He asked worriedly. I didn't answer I only took a step back, wiping my tears, I didn't know how to face this or fix it if I could. "What'd you say to her?" Leo asked angrily as he pressed Raph into the dirty snow.

"The truth!" Raph shouted before Leo pushed Raph's head back down into the snowy grass.

I took a few more steps back, the mountains was where I belonged right now. I spun on my heel and bolted towards the woods.

"Koda, no!" I heard Mikey yell.

"Good riddance runt!" I heard Raph's voice sting.

"What'd you say to her?!" I heard Leo shout behind me. I glanced back, seeing Leo attempt to come after me, but he couldn't stay up for long, especially with Donnie holding him back. I looked ahead and continued running like I would've liked to have done last night. I would come back only because of my brothers.

I ran for hours, I ran until my already exhausted legs couldn't carry me any more and I collapsed into the snow. My lungs hurt, my feet ached and my legs were numb from just going and going with no stopping in mind. I wasn't sure how to feel or what to do. All I knew is that I needed to be left alone to think and be where I belonged. I laid on my stomach in the snow with my head in my arms. My heart was still racing, pounding against my chest. I was so confused and hurt.


I don't how long I laid on that ledge overlooking a frozen lake beginning to freeze back over from the morning thaw, but it was nearing night time as the sky began to turn colors. I didn't have a clue where I was or how far I was from the farmhouse, but I knew I could find my way back, when I had the physical energy... and mental strength to know that what Raph said wasn't true. It just couldn't be, but that had been my internal conflict for the past couple hours.

Then I heard it... Raph's voice calling my name from a distance, the very last person I wished to see right now. The last person I expected to come after me, he must've been told to. Along with an apology that I knew would be insincere. Tiredly, I brought my head up to see if I could gain sight of him, he was obviously too far to sense. With each call of my name though he drew closer, obviously following my foot prints in the snow. Then once he was within my radar, he himself saw me and rushed over. I tried to pick myself up to run again, but I'd run so much I had exhausted myself to the point where I pulled the muscles in my legs, I barely got to my feet by the time he was only a few feet away from me. I held on to a tree branch to keep myself upright and from falling off the ledge. I stared at him angrily and he stood frozen there, staring back.

It was quite some time before he looked away.

"Raph how could you say any of that?" I asked with a scratchy voice, feeling chills go up my spine from the dropping temperatures.

He shuffled a bit rubbing his neck, still averting his eyes from mine. "I don't know." He said glancing back up with a tear in his eye. Bet it was faked. He stepped closer, "Koda please come back, they're all worried sick about you, especially Leo."

"I don't care. And how could you not know? I know, like the rest of us are; you're scared, worried, stressed and confused. But Raph... You have no idea how much that all hurt." I sniffled as tears welled in my eyes again. "I love all of you like family. Whether you have the same feelings or not Raph, you're like a brother now. And I'm sorry I caused all this-"

"Koda please just come back." He started walking towards me, so I let go of the branch and on shaky legs I started to back up.

"I'm not ready to." I grunted as one my very sore legs gave out and I fell on the ground, I went to pick myself up again only to slip back onto the ground.

"You're obviously hurt and exhausted. We'll head back to the farmhouse and talk-" He said trying to help me up, I smacked his hands away.

"I don't want to talk!" I said scooting backwards away from him. "Not with you!" I said moving backwards.

"Koda just let me help-"

I backed up too far, my hand rested against nothing but air and I fell backwards off the small ledge.

"Koda!" Raph yelled as I skidded down the snowy, icy slope. Gravity pulled my down as if I were sledding on a snowy hill, but instead it delivered me onto ice. I quickly found myself spinning across the frozen lake's surface on my stomach with my arms and legs sprawled out. No way to stop, I had no traction on the frozen, smooth surface, I was screwed and at the mercy of the little friction between my sweater and the ice to stop me. Finally my momentum died off and I came to a slow stop. I was shaking from the adrenaline rush of the fall, nothing new hurt, I was okay except for the fact I was laying on a partially melted lake. At least thirty feet from land.

"Holy shit! Koda are you okay?" Raph yelled, quickly descending the little hill.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I said looking down at the ice, which formed a few surface cracks underneath me. I gulped.

"Koda none of this was your fault. Please believe me on that and accept my apology. I don't know what got into me. I'm so sorry." He choked on a sob. I sensed his sadness, but I was still unsure how to feel.

"I believe you, and forgive you, I don't hold any anger or anything against anyone except those who took my home." I said starting to freak out, the ice wasn't holding as I heard the tiny creaks and crackling.

"Thank you, Koda. I'ma get you off that ice okay?" He said quickly, stepping on to it, this sent a wave of echoing cracks up the lake. He immediately stepped back.

"No Raph! Stop! You're too heavy! And you can't fall in its too cold for you, you're not fully warm blooded! It'll kill you if you fall in!" I shouted watching as some ice split beneath me.

He stared at me nervously. "Koda, I would rather me fall in than you!" He shouted.

"I agree." I joked, watching as yet another crack formed accompanied by a snapping noise. "But it won't work, the safest way is for me to army crawl off." I said, propping myself up on my elbows sparking more cracks.

"Be careful." He said getting a nearby branch and poking it out as far as he could onto the ice for me to grab. that was still more than twenty feet away. The ice cracked and moaned underneath me as I began slowly making my way towards the branch, my legs protested, but I had to get off this ice, it could kill me too if fell in. As I moved across, one of my elbows broke through the ice and it got dipped into the absolutely freezing water. It stung it was so cold.

Then suddenly it sounded like thunder, as huge cracks broke the ice and raced towards me, I was stuck in place as fear consumed me, my eyes followed a growing crack as it went straight between my arms.

"Koda! Move!" Was the last thing I heard before I was sucked into the chilly and unforgiving water below.