Part 7: Strength

Chapter 54: Wrath

As much as Aedan hated to admit it, Zevran was right. Many months ago, the elf had told Aedan that the killing would get easier- that his hands would stop shaking, and the guilt would only visit sparingly. Aedan grunted as he pulled his sword out a man's throat. Talisen, apparently, was his name. Aedan hadn't cared too much. Talisen had stopped the group in the alleyways of Denerim, backed up by his fellow Crows. Zevran had been offered the opportunity to rejoin them, but instead Zevran had stood back to back with Aedan against an onslaught of Crow blades. If Aedan had ever doubted Zevran's loyalty, those doubts had died along with the Crows.

Still, Aedan wondered what would have happened if Zevran had turned against him and taken Talisen's offer. Would Aedan have then killed Zevran as easily as Talisen and his men? At the very least, he considered the elf a comrade, perhaps even a friend. As Aedan glanced at Zevran, his mind instantly wandered to how he could take down the elf as quickly as possible. He was fast, and could probably get behind Aedan faster than he could turn around. Most likely Aedan would try to protect his back against a wall and try to force the confrontation into a direct battle. From there, he'd use his superior strength to cleave-

Aedan slapped the side of his face gently twice. He was doing it again- planning for possibilities that had not yet happened. Zevran smiled sadly as he took his place next to Aedan. "I know that look, and what you're thinking. Tis common in my business."

Aedan half-chuckled, half-sighed. "Ah."

"I would not blame you for doing so, if I had chosen him over you."

"I think my problem is what I'd feel afterwards."

"Hmm." Zevran stared wistfully at the dead Crows beneath his feet. He closed his eyes and paused in silence. He clutched something inside of his pocket, then whispered something to the air.

"You okay?" asked Aedan.

"It is not these who give me pause. I am simply remembering someone else. Another Crow." Zevran took a deep breath in and clapped his hands together. "Let us be off. I've had enough of the Crows for one lifetime. Let them think that lifetime ended here."

Aedan turned his gaze towards the Crows dead bodies. The outline of a coin purse peeked out of one Crow's pocket. "Sorry," whispered Aedan. He could not bury everybody he came across, nor could he afford to show them the basic respect of leaving their belongings. He had places to be and armies to fund. He rummaged through the man's pocket and slipped the gold coins into his own.


Inside the Arl's estate, Morrigan tugged at the splintmail armor now fastened to her chest. She fidgeted about in the armor, and sighed when she realized it would not get any more comfortable. "This guard's armor is a little...constrictive."

After checking the nearby hallways for other guards to make sure it was okay to talk, Aedan glanced down at Morrigan. "Certainly protects you more."

The witch frowned and emitted a low grumble. "Is that supposed to be a veiled criticism of my usual garb?"

"No," stated Aedan. "Veiled would mean I was trying to hide it. I'm not."

"I've told you this before, armor constricts my spell casting and fatigues me physically."

"...Not even some leather? At least in the chest area near the heart?"

Morrigan glared at Aedan with the same fury she usually reserved for Alistair. Aedan raised his hands in the air and sighed. "Alright, I'm dropping it."

The witch scowled and muttered, "Tis the only time I've ever heard a man ask a woman to cover up her chest area."

The weary servants eyed Aedan and the others as they passed through the kitchen. The elves saw much more than the nobles gave them credit for. While guards rotated in and out, the kitchen staff stayed the same. Aedan glared back in silence, hoping that the elves would not pester them. In truth, it seemed they had other problems; dry lips, beleaguered cheeks, and pale skin seemed to indicate malnourishment. Howe certainly wasn't keeping his kitchen staff fed.

Aedan signaled for Leliana to take the front and Zevran to cover their rear. The Queen's room was up ahead. Erlina, who had accompanied them, had already cleared most of the hallway with the excuse of "cleaning". Once the group rounded the corner, they found a glowing blue magical barrier pulsating in front of the Queen's door.

"Hello? Is that you, Erlina?" shouted a voice from behind the door. "Give the signal."

Erlina drummed her fingers against the wall in a slow, sporadic rhythm. The Queen knocked twice against the door. Erlina drummed three beats.

"Thank the Maker," sighed the voice behind the door.

Erlina said, "I have brought rescuers, sent by Eamon. It is the Warden."

"The Warden." The queen's voice cut off for a bit, before she asked, "Warden, can you get me out of here? Magical barriers aren't my area of expertise."

Aedan turned to Morrigan with an unspoken question. The witch brushed her hand over the barrier and gently flicked at it. The barrier bristled with lightning, and Morrigan drew her hand back. "I do not think it wise to simply hurl magic at the barrier. I do not know of its origin, and tampering with it could cause an explosion, perhaps killing your precious queen."

"Wonderful. So what can we do?"

"Easy. We kill the person casting it. Tis a sustained spell, so the caster must still be in the vicinity."

"Well, there can't be that many mages here," grunted Aedan. He turned back to the shimmering barrier and said, "We'll be back soon after we've taken care of the barrier."

Just as the group had turned their backs on the barrier, Aedan heard the queen's voice from behind the door call out, "Is your name Aedan?"

Aedan paused midstep. "Yes," he replied back. He saw Morrigan glance his way, but he said nothing.

The voice behind the door remained silent for a moment. A cold reply followed: "Then I expect you'll have no qualms dealing with Howe."

"Not particularly," muttered Aedan as he unsheathed his sword.


The dungeon only confirmed Aedan's suspicions regarding Howe's fall into depravity. Countless torture victims stashed away in the darkest corners of the castle. Innocent men and women, some of whom had been here for months, cried in happiness when Aedan had released them. Mutilated limbs, starved visages, and worse.

No more. Aedan would not let Howe spend another second in this world.

Aedan kicked down the door leading to the source of the magic that blocked Anora's door. There, staring back with that infuriating smug smile, was Howe. A squadron of guards all pointed their weapons at Aedan, while the mages behind them raised up glowing palms.

The Arl chuckled and shook his head. "Ah, little Aedan Cousland, still trying to fit into daddy's boots. How precocious."

Aedan narrowed his eyes and snarled,"Howe."

Howe's chest shook as he let loose an infuriating laugh. "Shouldn't that be 'Uncle Howe'? Isn't that what you always used to call me?"

"You don't really think you're getting out of this alive, are you?"

"I could say the same to you. The rest of men will soon be swarming this estate, as well as the royal guard. I'm a very important man. The only way you're getting out of here is if you don't cause too much trouble. You kill me, you die as well."

"Do you know this man?" asked Morrigan from behind Aedan. Howe's eyes lit up like a boy on his birthday.

"Did he never tell you?" laughed Howe, "Poor little Aedan Cousland, last of his house. Had to watch as I killed his entire family and burnt his life to a crisp? Why, it's been barely over a year."

Morrigan and Leliana turned to stare at Aedan. Zevran looked away at the ground. Aedan gripped his sword till his hand went numb. Sweat dripped down his forehead. His heart beat against his chest like a war drum, calling for Howe's blood.

Howe brushed the tip of his dagger with his finger. "I made your mother kiss my feet and beg for your father's life," he sneered.

With a low growl, Aedan pointed his sword in Howe's direction. "Howe, you're making me very angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"Oh no!" mocked Howe, waving his hands in the air. "Looks like I created a monster. I'm trembling." The older man threw his hands up mockingly in the air and rolled his eyes. Aedan couldn't quite understand why Howe didn't understand the danger he was in. Had his mind finally gone senile and convinced him he could kill Aedan?

Howe leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. He flashed a single sneer. "Men. Show him what a true Teyrn's guard can do."

Ten guards rushed at Aedan and the others. Howe's mages waved their staffs, and two fireballs barrelled towards Aedan's group.

Morrigan slammed her staff into the ground, erecting a bubble of protective energy about them. The fireballs exploded against the barrier and rocked the room to its core. Aedan could still feel the residual heat even inside the barrier. More fireballs and bolts of energy rained down upon them as Howe's guards inched in closer towards the barrier. Aedan glanced at Morrigan, a single bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. "On three," growled Aedan, knowing that Morrigan was capable of holding the barrier as long as they needed. She held up the barrier with only one hand, and with the other gathered a swirling vortex of magic in her palm.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

Morrigan thrust her left hand into the barrier. The mass of energy in her left dissipated into the barrier. The barrier turned violent red and pulsed once before exploding outwards and slamming the approaching guards into the walls.

Howe's executioners, on his right and left, slid their massive battle axes against the stone floor and uppercut at the same time. Zevran and Aedan lept backwards in unison. Two arrows zipped past Aedan and Zevran's heads and into the executioners. Zevran rolled to the side behind a mage and slit his throat. Without skipping a beat, he threw the mage's body in the path of a bolt of lightning fired by the other, and whipped his dagger into his attacker's throat.

Howe found himself standing alone in the broken remains of his guard. Aedan could see his dagger shaking within his hands. "And that's just what my friends can do," breathed Aedan as he coldly stepped over the bloodied bodies.

"No matter, I can still kill you! I fought at the battle of River Dane! I killed the rest of your family, you are nothing to me!" Howe's confidence from mere moments ago had left him, and instead left a trembling old man.

Aedan grinned at Howe. His clenched teeth held back the hot, angry breath that welled within him. Aedan outstretched his arm, and let his sword clatter to the ground. "A sword's too good for you."

"That pride will be your down-"

Howe charged, only for Aedan to slam his foot into the man's chest. Aedan lunged forward and wrenched Howe's daggers from him. Such a weak grip, thought Aedan. Such a weak man.

"I told you, Howe, didn't I? I'd gut you like a pig- and what better to gut a pig with than a kitchen knife?" seethed Aedan as he slammed his fist into Howe's chest. The man's ribs cracked beneath his blow. Howe crumpled to the ground. Aedan whipped out Nan's knife and stabbed it straight into Howe's outstretched hand. The man howled as the blood gushed out from the wound and splattered across the ground.

Aedan grabbed Howe by the neck and slammed him against the wall, over and over again. First directly in the face, then in the back of the head, then on the side, until the man's face was broken and bloodied. Finally, Aedan grabbed Howe by the neck with both hands in a deathgrip. Howe's neck cracked beneath Aedan's grip. Howe's face began to go blue. Aedan let up his grip a little and snarled at the man,"Did you even feel an inkling of remorse?"

Howe's weak cough twisted into a hearty chortle. "Did...I ever tell you what I did with the bodies?" His eyes glinted with malice. "I left them there to rot, like old meat from the market. The birds are probably having a feast of them right now as we speak- probably have for the last year."

Aedan's breath left him. His hands had gone numb. Howe crumpled against the wall as Aedan unconsciously released his grip. Through clenched teeth Aedan whispered, "You left them as food." His dark hair covered his downcast eyes, hiding his expression from Howe.

His uncle weakly leaned his head backwards and laughed. "Typical little Cousland. You hear one comment about your family and you let your guard down."

Howe pushed himself off the wall and pulled out a hidden dagger. As Aedan lifted his eyes back up, Howe saw the warden's face contorted in silent fury. Aedan grabbed both of Howe's hands by the wrists. He spoke in a low growl, like a barely contained beast about to devour its prey. "You know...I've learnt a rather neat trick since we've last met."

The smell of tainted blood filled the room. The veins on Aedan's neck darkened and pulsated as Aedan clenched his teeth. He took a single breath in, before squeezing his hands tight around Howe's hands and wrists.

Howe's screams reverberated in Aedan's ears, muffling the crunching of his bones against the Aedan's gauntlets. Warm red flesh dripped down the cold metal like pulp. Bone and flesh splashed to the floor.

"Now tell me...why." Aedan grabbed Howe by the collar and slammed him against the wall again. He picked up Nan's knife and held it once more against the man's throat. "TELL ME! WHY?"

Although barely alive, Howe still had the ferocity in his spirit to bare his bloodstained teeth. "I deserved more," he croaked, "I was right there alongside your father during the war, yet somehow your father got it all! The teyrnship, the respect, the power- your family squandered the privilege given to you!"

No color remained in Howe's face anymore. "I deserved more. I deserved more. I deserved more," he whispered over and over again. He tried to reach for something, anything, with his arms, as though forgetting his hands were no longer there. Cold sweat dripped down his battered face as he let go of the last vestiges of his dignity, and with everything he had left him, roared, "I DESERVED MORE!"

Howe's snarled and spat at Aedan like a wild beast. His spit hit Aedan in the face and dripped down his cheek. In that moment, as Aedan looked upon the almost feral Howe, his grip on his knife faltered. He had imagined this moment over and over again in his head. He had expected the satisfaction of revenge to run warm through his blood. He had expected...more.

As Aedan pressed the knife's edge against Howe's throat, the insides of his stomach churned and twisted. There was nothing different about this kill from any other. Killing Howe would not let him sleep at night. Killing Howe would not lessen the weight of his burdens.

"If I kill you...nothing will change. You'll still be the same old disgusting scumbag as before. They'll still be dead. Nothing will change."

But the man still needed to be put down.

Aedan slammed Nan's knife into Howe's throat. The man gurgled up blood. He coughed and splashed the crimson liquid against Aedan. Howe scraped his bloodied stump against Aedan's armor one last time, painting a scarlet streak across the dark grey. Aedan stood there silently watching the life drain from Howe. This moment, one that should have been a grand vengeance, a shining beacon of justice, felt empty and shallow. All he could think about was the dead bodies of his family rotting in the open.

Aedan turned Nan's knife over in his hand and ran his finger down the bloodied edge; it had dulled from killing so many. Whetstones had already ground the metal down to a ghost of what the knife had once been. It would not be of much use any longer.

His mouth moved as though to say something to Howe, but the words remained stuck in his throat. Instead, Aedan wordlessly tossed Nan's blood covered knife to the ground next to Howe's body.


Erlina stood outside the queen's door fidgeting. "The guards are swarming the estate! We must hurry!" she stuttered. With two rapid knocks against the door from Erlina, Anora undid the lock and entered into the hallway. In her guardsmen disguise, Aedan barely recognized her, but looking closely enough he still recognized her face, having seen it from a distance at many a gathering.

"Aedan Cousland. So it is you," remarked Anora. She eyed his bloodied gauntlets and gulped once. Aedan could swear he saw the famously composed queen flinch for a moment. Anora's gaze returned to face level. Her stare reminded Aedan of Loghain, with cold steely eyes and a tight frown. "I assume Howe was taken care of."

Leliana glanced at Aedan. "So what Howe said about you being a Cousland was-."

"We can talk about this after. Rescuing the queen takes priority."

Really, what was there to talk about? Aedan could sum up his experience in one sentence. His family was murdered, then he became a Grey Warden. Done. He reviled the idea of talking about it for more than one minute.

He glanced at Morrigan, who had been quiet throughout the entire exchange. Their eyes met briefly . She understood- he would talk about it at the appropriate time and place. Still, he could see a twinge of curiosity in her pondering eyes, that glanced once back at him again. Perhaps she was hurt that others knew more about him than she.

The stamping of feet and clinking of swords grew louder with each passing second. "What's your plan to sneak out of here?" asked Anora. Just then a guard rounded the corner, only to meet the butt of Aedan's sword.

Aedan scraped the bottom of his sword against the tapestry on the wall to get the blood out. "I'm not very good at stealth."

Anora sighed. "I am filled with confidence."

"Just...stay behind me and keep quiet," grunted Aedan, pushing the queen behind him. He peered around the corner to find the hallway surprisingly empty. "Zevran, take the rear. Everyone, sprint!"

The group rushed down the hallway and into the main courtyard. The sound of a dozen crossbows being cocked and twice as many swords being unsheathed made Aedan immediately regret the decision. A mass of guards stood in front of the main doors, led by Loghain's general, Ser Cauthrien. "Stand down!" shouted the woman.

Fifty guardsmen. Aedan's group might be able to take them alone, but Aedan doubted that these guardsmen, who were simply following orders, deserved death. The main issue was the disguised queen, who was currently trying her best to stand behind the others and look inconspicuous. She and Aedan both understood what would happen if she was caught with them.

Cauthrien scowled at Aedan. "I knew that Loghain could not be wrong. You Grey Wardens are just murderers, aren't you? Come to kill a Teyrn in his own home? Are you even human?"

Aedan considered his words. "And what, Ser Cauthrien," he spoke with caution, "are you here for?"

The fact that Aedan had not already attacked her made Cauthrien lower her shield a little. "You, preferably alive. Loghain want to question Ferelden's greatest criminal, perhaps gain some information to finally end this civil war once and for all."

Aedan regarded her question with a quiet moment of contemplation. His eyes darted around, examining all possible strategies. There was nothing for Anora to take cover behind, and even if he told her to flee down a hallway, there was no guarantee other guards wouldn't find her there. Aedan swallowed once. Aedan met eyes with Zevran, and pointed at Morrigan with his gaze. The elf nodded once and took out a small paper packet from his pocket. The elf sidestepped behind Morrigan as she continued to stare down the troops before her.

"You only have a warrant out for the Grey Wardens, correct?" asked Aedan.

It took a second for Morrigan to register what Aedan was implying, but when she did, her hands began to glow with fiery wrath. Still not taking her eyes off her enemies, the witch snarled, "Aedan, what are you sayin-"

Zevran's hands shot from behind and cracked the packet under her nose. A noxious smell lingered faintly in the air. The witch slumped over and collapsed into Zevran's arms. Aedan dropped his sword and kicked it over to Leliana, then held both his hands above his hand. The bard kneeled down and looked back up at Aedan. Her hand hesitated over the hilt.

"Go," Aedan urged. Ser Cauthrien glared at the rest of Aedan's group, and with a begrudging scowl she pointed to the main exit. Aedan watched the others make a cautious retreat. Once he heard the main gates slam shut, two guards pushed Aedan onto his knees and yanked his hands behind his back. Two more brought a length of heavy metal chain to tie him up with, and handed it to Cauthrien. The rather strong woman tightened the chains so hard around him, Aedan felt all his breath leave him.

Ser Cauthrien pulled him up the the chains and drew out a paper with Loghain's seal on it. Though she spoke with a strong tone, she would not meet Aedan's eyes as she read his charges.

"Aedan Cousland, by the authority given to me by Regent Loghain, for your family's plotting with the Orlesians, your order's betrayal of the king, and countless other murders, you are now under arrest."


Author's notes

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