Warnings: slash, rape recovery, discussions of child abuse and murder.

***AN: Sorry for the delay on this. It was hard to fix the next chapter because a lot of the sex details were important to the story. It was really tough to find a balance. That, and I've been sick forever. Finally starting to recover.***


CHAPTER 54

Reparations

Severus lay under his husband, naked and arching into his touch. Harry had decided this time he would find all the spots that drove Severus mad, and so far, he had done a damn good job. Severus cried out as his husband's tongue traced down from his body, teasing, always teasing and never finishing the job. Fuck. He wasn't sure how much more he could bear of this.

"H-Harry, lower, please!"

Harry gave him a wicked smile. "Okay."

Severus groaned as Harry moved past his erection and affixed his kisses to the hollow of Severus' hip. A lightning-sharp surge of ticklish-pleasure knocked the wind from Severus and he gave a strangled moan.

Harry teased him with the tip of his tongue, but that set Severus laughing.

"Tickles?"

"Merlin, yes."

Harry chuckled. "You're so adorable when you laugh like that."

Severus' cheeks burned. "I-I am not ado—"

Harry sucked the curve of Severus' hip, and intense sensation ripped a squeal from the older man's throat. He couldn't even form words under such a sharp assault of ecstasy. He grabbed the sheets and jerked up, crying out at the maddening pleasure.

"Merlin!" Harry leaned back, a smile on his face. "This feels good, love?"

Severus gasped and panted, struggling for breath. "A-almost too good. Gods."

"Mm. That's what I like to hear." Harry's head dropped, and sharp pleasure, so intense, it was almost painful, zinged throughout Severus' body again. He shrieked and thrashed about, utterly lost to Harry's touch.

"Mnnh. G-go-gods!"

Gentle fingertips caressed Severus between his legs, light and gentle in counterpoint to the fierce suction on his hip, and Severus nearly lost it.

"S-stop. Too much."

Harry winced and pulled back, chagrined. "Oh, love. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"No, no. It wasn't—" Severus gasped, breathless. "Not flashbacks. Just too close."

Harry smiled. "Hmm." He returned his gentle hand to Severus' body, and a strangled cry escaped the older man. He rocked up into Harry's palm, unable to control himself, and Harry obliged with firmer touches, and Severus threw his head back with a whimper. So good. Just a bit more and….

"Severus," Harry murmured, his eyes serious and watchful, "may I touch you? Here?"

His hand dropped a couple inches and hovered just above Severus' entrance. The idea of feeling touch there after so long avoiding it cooled his out-of-control ardour. Gods. Could he allow it? He was so afraid, but Harry had never hurt him. Instead, every touch, every caress had brought him intense pleasure.

Harry gave him a soft smile. "It's okay, love. Maybe next time."

His head dropped, and white-hot pleasure and heat around him strangled any response Severus might have given. He cried out and arched up beyond all control, clawing at the sheets so he wouldn't grab Harry's head. Oh gods! Dear mother of Merlin, he was melting inside Harry's mouth.

A sense of déjà vu overcame him. Hadn't this happened the last time they made love?

No. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Severus wanted this time to be different. He trusted Harry. Loved him. And he wanted to know what it felt like to be loved inside, to be taken by someone who adored him and would respect his body.

"H-Harry," he forced out, "wait."

"What's the matter, love?"

Severus had to take a moment to gather his wits. "Want to… inside me."

Harry stilled, eyes wide. "Oh, Sev. Are you asking me to make love to you?"

"Mhn, gods, you are already, but yes."

Harry's eyes glimmered and a warm, loving smile crossed his face. "All right. Hand me a pillow."

Severus obeyed and shivered as Harry gently slid the pillow under his hips. With a deep breath to calm himself, Severus slowly spread his thighs, revealing the one part of his body he had kept absolutely untouched in eighteen years. Even as he trembled at the thought of being so open, so vulnerable, intense desire and longing filled him. He wanted, needed Harry's touch. He wanted Harry to wash away the past and sanctify him with his love.

Harry kissed the inside of Severus' knee and stroked his thigh, his eyes gentle. "Are you okay, Sev?"

"A l-little afraid, but I want you."

Harry moved up Severus' body, sending shocks of pleasure through him as their bodies met. Harry rocked their hips together and moaned softly, his eyes dark with desire.

"Severus, you're safe," he whispered against his husband's lips. "I love you."

Severus grabbed Harry's bum and rocked him into his body, surging up to meet him. "Please, Harry."

"You're sure, baby?"

Severus cupped Harry's face. "Beloved, seeing how you feel it when I am inside you—I wish to feel that too. Only be gentle."

"I swear it." Harry kissed Severus' forehead and nuzzled his nose. "If you get scared, I'll stop. I promise."

Severus nodded and nuzzled Harry's cheek. "The spell is Mundintus."

Harry's throat bobbed and his breath hitched. "R-right. Let me…." He leaned back on his knees and traced his fingertips down from Severus' knee, watching his husband's face as he drew closer and closer to Severus' centre. Severus whimpered at a shock of sensation at the first brush of Harry's fingertip against his skin. Gods! It had hurt so much before, Severus hadn't imagined being touched there could bring so much pleasure.

Harry drew back, hesitant. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes. Feels good. More than I expected."

Harry kissed and traced his tongue along the inside of Severus' knee, lightly caressing Severus at the same time. "I'm going to monitor your emotions, okay, love? That way I know the second you get scared. Is that all right?"

Severus closed his eyes and rocked his hips against Harry's fingers. "Yes. Makes me feel safer."

"You are safe with me, love. Always." Harry's fingertip traced gentle circles, tantalizing and teasing at the same time he soothed Severus and eased his fears. "Does it feel good, Sev?"

Good? Severus thought he might be on fire with need. "Ah… oh, yes. I need more."

Harry kissed Severus' knee. "Ssh. I'm taking this slowly. Don't want you to be afraid."

"I am not. Just want more."

"I know. I feel it."

Harry whispered the spell against Severus' leg, and a rush of cool, tingling sensations flooded him, inside and out. He groaned and arched into Harry's touch. With a tentative smile, Harry Summoned a pot of Severus' lubricant formula and slowly, gently prepared him, bit by bit. He kept up a litany of loving words and caresses the entire time, keeping Severus' fears at bay with his solicitous care and affection.

[It's all right, love. You're safe, you're loved.]

But Severus was tired of waiting. "Harry, more."

[Patience, love. Let your body get used to this much first.]

"N-need… feel empty. Aches."

Harry kissed Severus' hip and sat up, soothing Severus at the same time he continued preparing his mate.

"I know. It's the same way I feel every time you touch me here. Like I'll die if you don't fill me that moment. But you don't rush things with me, and I won't rush with you either. I can't hurt you, Sev. I love you."

Severus gave a soft sigh, warm with Harry's love and protectiveness, and melted into the sheets. "As you wish, my love."

Harry smiled and sank back down, surrounding his husband with heat again, and Severus cried out at the sudden sensation.

"Harry!"

[I've got you, Sev. You're safe.]

"Ughn, I know. G-gods, please!"

[Okay. I think you're ready for a bit more.]

"Yes, yes." Severus panted it, anticipation and fiery desire robbing his breath.

Harry moved onto the next step, and Severus followed his touch with a gasp. Gods, it was such a strange feeling to be so vulnerable—thrilling and a bit frightening, and yet, he found liberation in trusting his body completely to his partner. Harry prepared him with such gentle, tender care that Severus felt no pain, no fear, only intense love and pleasure. Tears pooled on his lashes as another wall fell down, another wound in his heart sealed. He would be all right, as long as Harry loved him.

[Every moment, every day, now and forever. Always going to love you.]

Severus rocked onto Harry's hand and cried out as a bolt of pleasure spread through his entire body.

"Dear gods! I knew, but I never im—" Another stroke deep inside left him mewling, and he arched almost double. "Oh Merlin!"

Harry leaned back, fire in his eyes, and crooked his fingers. Severus' hips lifted of their own volition and a sharp cry left his throat.

"Yes, yes!"

"Oh, Sev," Harry said, breathless. "Gods, I want you."

"Please," Severus sobbed, "please, I can't bear anymore. Need… gods, take me, love."

Slowly, Harry withdrew, leaving Severus panting and aching for more.

"You're sure, Sev?"

Severus reached for his husband. "Now, please."

Harry nodded and slicked his erection. He hissed at the touch, neck cording with desire. "G-gods. I almost cut it too fine."

Severus spread his legs so Harry could enter him… but froze at the first touch of his penis. Sudden, deep fear arrested him, and memories of a cruel man taunting, teasing, but never taking. Using his desire to humiliate him.

"So desperate for me, you little slut? Absolutely shameless, you are. Yes, beg for it, and perhaps I will deign to grant you your desires."

"No," Severus breathed. "No, don't. Please." He buried his face in his hands. "Please…."

Gentle hands caressed his cheeks and a soft tenor pierced the veil of dark memories. [Sev, love, listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're safe, sweetheart. Come out of the past.]

Malfoy's unctuous, cultured tones cut across Harry's gentle call. "Stop deluding yourself! You're mine, pet, always mine. No one will ever love you. No one will want you. You must find your pleasures only at my hand."

"No," Severus cried. "I will never let you touch me again!"

The hands left his face, but Harry's voice continued in his mind. [Ssh. It's okay. I love you, Severus. I love you so much.] A light, gentle kiss fell upon Severus' forehead. [It's only me, Severus—Harry, your husband. You're home. You're safe. You're free of that monster. He can't hurt you anymore. I swear, I'll protect you.]

"Harry…."

[Yes, Severus. I'm here.] Calloused, loving hands cradled his own. [Come home to me, love. Come back from the past and let me love your fears away.]

With a soft whimper, Severus turned to his husband's voice and followed it out of the recesses of his mind. He opened his eyes to find Harry lying beside him, tears on his lashes and his eyes full of worry and shame.

"H-Harry? Why are you crying, beloved? Did I say something cruel to you?"

"No, love." Harry kissed Severus' hand. "I knew you weren't talking to me." Tears dripped off his nose. "Oh, Sev. Gods, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?"

"You did not hurt me. I only had a flashback." Severus curled into Harry's embrace and held him tight. "Thank you. You came after me. You saved me."

"Yeah, I always will."

"Hearing your voice helped ground me." Severus buried his face into Harry's shoulder. "But I… I am sorry. I think I ruined the mood."

"No, never." Harry stroked Severus' hair and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Sev. If you need to stop, then we stop. It's okay. I'd much rather you heal. We can always try again another day."

Severus hesitated. "I… I do not want to give up."

"We won't. Next time, Sev. It's all right."

"I mean I still wish you to make love to me today."

"I know you do, but…." Harry bit his lip, worry filling his eyes. "I don't want you to push yourself, love. You made huge strides tonight just by letting me touch you there, letting me taste you. That's enough."

Severus winced. "But I am still, you are still…."

"It's okay." Harry kissed Severus' forehead. "You're not obligated. Do you understand me? You are never obligated to do anything with me. It's okay."

Severus sighed and laid his head on Harry's shoulder. "You are too good to me." He kissed Harry's collarbone and gently guided his husband onto his back. "There is still the issue of healing our bond, however, so will you allow me to make love to you?"

Harry hesitated. "You don't need to take me to heal the bond. Just what we've done so far has quieted it. You don't have to do anything if you're scared."

"I wish to, Harry. I want you."

Harry cupped Severus' face and searched his eyes. "You feel safe? You're not scared?"

Severus kissed his palms. "I am well, love. You saved me. Perhaps I am simply not ready to bottom, but I do love you and I wish to be with you however I am able, if you want me to."

Harry smiled tentatively. "All right. If you're really okay, I'm game to try again."

"As long as you are with me, I think I will be fine."

"Yeah." Harry kissed him softly. "Me too."

~SSHP~

Later that afternoon, Harry stepped out of the loo, still drying his hair, and gave his husband a gentle kiss on the cheek. "What are you working on, love?"

Severus turned and kissed Harry lightly. "I'm examining the research you did in the Chamber. This soul binding spell."

Harry grimaced. "I don't think I would test it on anything living. Jabardi said the magic smells bad, and it set Slytherin's desk on fire the last time I worked on it. To be fair, I was on the verge of magical exhaustion at the time."

Severus nodded. "Yes, the matrix is incomplete and incorrect, but the concept is feasible. We could do it. Perhaps combining it with that soul healing spell you found—I believe it will work, once we find a useable matrix."

"Yeah, that would be the hard part."

Severus chuckled. "Well, perhaps I will take a stab at it." He brought Harry into a gentle kiss. "Are you headed back to the Infirmary?"

"Yeah. After this, I've got to talk to Malfoy. He has to leave home." Harry hugged his shoulders. "Sev, do you think… I should tell him? About my past, maybe? Or the fact that I'm bonded?"

Severus shuddered. "If you do, be sure to make him swear a vow first."

"Of course." Harry's shoulders slumped. "I just don't know what else to do to convince him. I thought, maybe if he knew the truth, it might be enough."

"There may be nothing we can do, love. In the end, it is his decision."

"Yeah." Harry stood tall and firmed his resolution. "Well, I'm going to try anyway. Good luck with that mess of a matrix."

"Good luck with my mess of a snake."

Harry gave Severus a sad smile. "I'll need it." He tugged on his apprentice robes, grabbed his knapsack and Jabardi, and flooed to his private bedroom. Madam Pomfrey was sanitizing one of the beds when Harry came into the Infirmary.

She gave Harry a wry look. "I hadn't expected to see you until tomorrow. I'm assuming you're feeling better?"

Harry coughed and forced himself not to say anything too damning. "I-I'm all right now, ma'am, but I came to check on Draco."

Poppy's eyes took on an edge of worry. "Ah. He is asleep at the moment, but his potions should be wearing off soon. He should wake within a half hour or so, if you would like to watch over him."

Harry nodded. "I'll monitor him. Do you have his chart?"

Poppy dug in her apron pocket and handed him a scroll from its depths. "He can have another pain potion just before dinner. He will need help feeding himself, I think—clear liquids, of course. He's most likely feeling quite weak."

"That would be less embarrassing for him coming from either me or Dean, I think." Harry smiled to himself. Maybe he would send Dean in to help Draco eat supper. It might make Draco feel better anyway.

Poppy patted his shoulder. "Go on then. I'll just finish up my reports for the day. You know how to contact me if you need help."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for." Poppy squeezed Harry's shoulder and walked away, closing her office door behind her.

With a deep breath to gather his wits, Harry made his way to Draco's private room in the Infirmary and settled into the seat beside his bed.

The boy was still sleeping, so Harry tugged one of Slytherin's journals from his knapsack and worked on the translation while he rested. He had just finished translating a potion to heal poor vision—he would definitely write that one down for Severus—when Malfoy twitched and moaned. Harry marked his place and replaced the book in his bag. By the time grey, unfocused eyes settled on his own, Harry was glaring.

"Is this really the life you want, Malfoy?"

Draco winced and hesitated. "What? I… where am I?"

"The Infirmary. Do you know that your father punc—"

Draco gasped and grabbed at Harry's robe. "N-no time. Please, my mother saved me. She's—he'll hurt her. He might even—please! She needs help!"

Harry froze. "Oh dear gods." He focused on the Headmaster's emotions and knew he had found the right link when he sensed another Empathic mind. [Albus, Draco just woke up and told me Narcissa saved him from Lucius. He's terrified Lucius will hurt, or maybe even kill her. She needs backup—now! No waffling!]

A moment later, a phoenix Patronus appeared in the Infirmary. "The Order has been notified of Mrs. Malfoy's situation. Kingsley should be there in a moment with several aurors. I will let you know what we find when I am first able."

Harry rubbed Draco's shoulder. "There we are. It's all right now."

Draco stared at Harry. "H-how? You didn't say anything."

Harry snorted. "Trade secret. I promise he knows and the Order is after her this instant."

Draco let slip a sigh of relief and clung to Harry's arm. "I… I'm so scared."

Harry petted his hair and sat beside the boy. "Yeah, I can't say I blame you. Do you know your father ruptured your spleen and punctured your lung? You were bleeding out and drowning in it, Draco. Had I found you a minute later, I doubt I'd have been able to save you even with surgery."

Draco paled. "You… but you're an apprentice!"

"Madame Pomfrey was helping me the entire time. It took both of us to keep you alive, and even with two of us and the best potions Professor Snape could offer, we still almost lost you twice." Harry hugged him gently. "I was so damn scared, Draco. So afraid for you."

Draco's breath hitched. He sniffled and laid his head on Harry's shoulder. "I… I didn't think anyone cared that much."

"Well, that's rubbish. My friends and I care a lot about you. We'd all be devastated if you died—and if you died in my care… gods. I'm not sure if I'd ever really recover."

Draco hugged Harry as tight as he could, given the state of his body. "Harry, I… t-thank you."

"You're welcome." Harry leaned back and wiped his eyes. "You're going to be all right, assuming you take it easy for a few days and let your organs heal. But don't do this to me again, Draco. You have to get away. I might not be able to save you the next time."

"I know," Draco whispered. "But if I fail…."

"Draco…." Harry crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "Look, I didn't want to reveal this with you still in the dark, but I don't think I'm going to have a choice. You're just not going to believe me unless I come clean." He fixed Draco with a stern look. "I'll let you in on the truth about me—secrets very few know—if you swear an oath never to reveal what I'm about to tell you to anyone who doesn't already know. Especially anyone in Riddle's ranks or close to them."

Draco frowned. "All right."

"I wasn't born yesterday. Your oath."

Draco sighed and pointed his wand at his chest. "I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, hereby swear never to reveal the information Harry Potter is about to give me unless given explicit permission by the parties involved." Golden light settled on his chest and faded. "Satisfied?"

Harry gave him a curt nod. "Good. Now, here's part of the secret: I know your mission. You're supposed to seduce me, subjugate me, and bring me to Riddle once you have me in your bed. I also know you don't want to do it."

Draco went ashen. "H-how? I've been Occluding it."

"Occlumency doesn't work against a natural Telepath. Not often anyway, and even then, you'd better be using the best damn shields you've got against me or it'll still leak through and that's without me trying." Harry sighed. "I hate it, to be honest, but that's the way it is. I can't read the things you regard as deep, personal secrets unless you allow me to, but everything else drives me mad."

"But I did regard those plans as a secret, and I was shielding them."

"I know." Harry leaned on his knees. "When your arsehole of a father dislocated your arm, you projected your memories somehow. I thought a part of you wanted me to know—you were trying to warn me, or maybe crying out for help without saying anything and risking your life. Well, more than it already was at risk. I saw Lucius telling you what he had planned for me. And I've tried to make it look like I was falling without actually doing so since then, for your sake."

Draco sank onto the pillows with a wince. "Fuck."

Harry squeezed his shoulder gently. "Like I said, I've been playing along, but the thing is, Draco, even if you did want to follow the plan, your mission is doomed from the start. I'm already bonded—soul-bonded, actually—and my mate is aware of your mission too. He knows I need to befriend you to a point, but I can't date you, Draco. I can't touch you or be touched in a romantic manner without causing myself terrible pain and breaking my husband's heart. And I sure as hell can't go to bed with you."

Draco dropped his head and clutched at the sheets. "I… I couldn't do it anyway, Harry. It'd be one thing if we liked each other, but the way they wanted me to use you… gods. I can't."

"I know. I sense it, or I'd never have allowed you as close as I have done." Harry sat on the bed beside Draco and took his hand. "There is another way, Draco. You don't have to follow that monster. You don't have to go back home to be beaten to bits and shipped back here only to go through it again the next week." He squeezed Draco's hand. "I'll help you, if you let me. I'll get you out and protect you."

Bitter, heartbroken tears poured down Draco's face. A wave of heartbreak from the boy left Harry's chest throbbing with grief.

"He should be the one protecting me!" Draco's voice rang with anguish.

Harry held the boy's hand and nodded, heart bleeding with Draco's pain.

"All my life, I've been trying to make him proud of me," Draco murmured, tears heavy on his eyelashes. "I've done… I've been a prick and done things I hate myself for, all to make him look at me with something like pride." His face contorted with grief. "But it's never enough. He'll never care about me, will he? I'm all alone."

Harry eased Draco into a gentle hug. "You're not alone. I care about you. Professor Snape cares about you. Dean, Neville, Hermione, and Luna care about you. Even the Headmaster cares."

A pink blush painted Draco's cheeks. "D-Dean does?"

Harry grinned. "You fancy him, hmm?"

Draco flushed to his ears. "You know."

"It's very difficult for me not to read emotions. I'm trying to learn how to turn it off, but I don't know how yet. The headmaster believes the Telepathy trait is particularly strong in me and I might never be able to completely mute it. But I'll never use it against you, I promise."

Draco grimaced. "That's… disconcerting."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Draco patted Harry's hand. "It's okay. You were the first person other than… than Mum and Blaise to be kind to me." He closed his eyes and shuddered. "Gods, I hope she's okay."

"So do I. The Order is after her, so there's hope."

Draco buried his head in Harry's shoulder. "I'm so scared for her. She's the only family I have left."

"I'll go check on her situation as soon as I leave here, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah, of course."

Draco shivered. "I don't want to be alone. W-will you ask Dean to come? Can you do it with your mind?"

"Yeah, I can." Harry held Draco's hand and searched for his friend. [Dean, it's Harry. Sorry to bother you, but if you're not busy, can you come to the Infirmary? Draco's awake, but his mum's in trouble, and he asked for you.]

He sensed a wave of simultaneous concern, shock, and a nervous sort of giddiness that gave Harry hope for the possibility of a real relationship between his friends. Perhaps Dean could bridge the gap for Draco and bring him out of the dark even if Harry couldn't. Merlin, he hoped so.

Harry gave Draco a sad smile. "He's on his way, I think. But, Draco, Dean loves hard. He doesn't go into relationships lightly, as far as I know. If you two start dating, it's going to kill him to see you come back every other week in pieces. Not to mention the Dark would kill him in a heartbeat."

Draco sighed and dropped his head. "Y-yeah. Maybe you have a point. I don't want to hurt him. And… my father—he almost killed me this time, didn't he?"

Harry nodded grimly. It was the blunt truth.

"No one really understands how that feels," Draco said with a sniffle.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "No one?"

Draco scoffed. "Oh please. You had life served to you on a silver platter."

Harry gave a bitter laugh. "Oh, yes. It's been grand, thanks for asking. First, my parents were murdered by a madman when I was fifteen months old, and then I was given to be raised by wizard-hating Muggles who used every possible opportunity to squash the magic out of me, and that's hardly even the start of it."

Draco paled. "What? You… Muggles?"

"Yeah." Harry sighed. "Draco, I know rumour says my life was peachy-keen, that I was a pampered saviour and such, but the truth is I was abused as badly as you have been."

Draco paled. "There's no way. It's not true… is it?"

Harry stood and Banished his robes to a nearby chair, then lifted his shirt and turned his back to Draco, revealing his scars. "You tell me."

A gentle hand touched his back, and Harry squirmed away.

"Dear gods," Draco breathed. "What… what did that? A whip?"

Harry turned and sat beside Draco again. "My uncle's belt. My aunt and uncle—they're horrible people, Draco. I mean, they used me like a house elf from the time I was four years old. Even kept me in a cupboard like the elves. There were many times he beat me nearly to death, or Petunia almost killed me with a frying pan to the head, or I nearly died of starvation. And then, there was the time they left me out in the snow until you get pneumonia and told me there's no need for a doctor because if I'm really a bloody freak, then I should be able to heal myself!"

Harry was panting with anger and grief by this point. "I could, of course, but that's beside the point. If I hadn't had the kind of raw healing power I do, I'd have died then. And then again when, while I was literally starving, I choked half-to-death on a piece of broken plate and tore my throat to shreds while my uncle…." Tears ran down his face. "He laughed at me. I was coughing up blood, screaming, begging for help, and he laughed and told me I deserved it, then finished me off with another beating with his belt before bed."

"Fuck!" Draco grabbed Harry's hand and held it tight. "Fuck, Harry! That's inhuman!"

"I was seven years old."

"Oh gods." Draco blinked hard and rubbed Harry's knuckles. "I… I'm sorry."

"That's not even the extent of it. After my godfather died, Vo—oh, sorry—Riddle decided it was a great idea to possess me every time I dream, forcing me to watch him torture people—and suffer the pain of their deaths, though Dumbledore believes that I'm only feeling a portion of their pain and not the whole of it—I'd be mad otherwise. Then Riddle took over my mind like a fucking Imperius and almost made me kill Dumbledore and myself, the night I lost so much earlier this year.

"For everyone's safety and the sake of my own sanity, I had to soul bond with a Zopath so he could protect my mind externally. And it just so happened that I'd been in love with said Zopath since I was sixteen, but him? He was terrified. He had an actual phobia of love. I was so afraid the rest of my life would be broken and miserable. Thankfully, he loves me now and he's almost overcome his fears, but we had a lot of hell to go through before we got to this point."

He clenched his fists into his robes. "And then, there's the bloody fame. It's not as great as it's cracked up to be, trust me. Imagine not even being able to go to Hogsmeade without getting mobbed by reporters who never report the truth and have zero respect for your privacy or well-being. Imagine that every other day there's an article calling you mad and deranged, and the next day you're hailed as a godsdamned saviour, the only one with the ability to save the world—never mind that you're a teenager who didn't even know about the magical world before Hogwarts."

Harry dropped his head into his hands. "Shite, Draco. All I've ever wanted was to be loved. I am now, but then—Merlin. I thought I'd die alone and miserable at the ripe old age of eighteen, all because a fucking madman decided he wanted to off me before I have to off him. Even with everything I'm doing to prevent that, I still might." He sank his head into his hands. "I understand your pain, Draco. Far too well."

"Y-yeah. I see that now." Draco closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Harry, gods, I'm so sorry—for everything. I… I didn't know."

Harry took Draco's hand again and squeezed. "It's okay. It's over now. Isn't it? I mean, you can't be my friend and then turn me over to the madman who killed my whole family, who's obsessed with murdering me into the bargain, and has made my life a living hell for eighteen years."

Draco winced. "N-no. I suppose not."

Harry gasped. "You mean that? You'll… leave?"

Draco shivered. "Yeah. But I'm fucking terrified about it. They'll kill me. And…." Tears ran down his face. "And my own father will be first in line."

"He'll have to get through me and the entire Order first." Harry rubbed a thumb over Draco's knuckles. "Swear it? Swear an oath that you'll renounce Voldemort and protect the lives of those on the Light side of the war, or at least not hurt them or sell information to the Death Eaters?"

Draco winced, but swore his oath. Harry breathed a huge sigh of relief when the light cleared.

"Thank Merlin. I've given you far too much information today."

Draco nodded. "You've told me pretty much everything except who your husband is."

"Yeah, and I definitely can't tell you that. I can't tell anyone. It's just too dangerous. Not even Hermione knows. Actually, she doesn't even know I'm bonded at all. Blaise, Luna, Dean, and Neville do, though."

"You told Blaise but not Hermione?"

Harry snorted. "Not exactly. Blaise was upset the last time you were so injured, and I made the mistake of squeezing his hand with my left. He felt my bonding ring and worked out the rest on his own. I've put a charm on it since to keep it from being discovered by accident. You can only feel it if you already know it's there."

Draco touched Harry's left ring finger and gave him a wry grin. "You really are bonded."

"Yeah. Since the first of October."

Draco winced. "The day I outed you."

"It wasn't just you. Within forty-eight hours, I'd been rejected by my husband—he was still afraid back then—and came back to the dorm just after it to find my familiar murdered by my dormmate. The next afternoon, I found I'd been outed prematurely, had half the house turn against me because of it—including my former best mate—and Ginny assaulted me. Really assaulted me this time. She choked me on her slimy tongue." He paused. "Though she's been good about it since. Actually, I've hardly seen her at all this term." He muttered under his breath about evil bastards.

Draco gave him a bemused look. "She's been hanging around Hufflepuff more," he said with a shrug. "At least, that's what Blaise said."

"She's dating Zacharias Smith, the arsehole, but what's Blaise doing in Hufflepuff?"

"Snogging Susan Bones, according to Daphne."

Harry chortled. "Well done, Susan! Seems I'll be sitting with Hermione in Ancient Magic again soon."

Draco gave a weak laugh. "Yeah, maybe."

Harry took Draco's hands and held them tight. "Listen, you're going to be okay now. I'll protect you and so will my friends." He cast a strong silencing charm. "And as soon as Dean gets here, I'll let Professor Snape know about your decision and we'll arrange protection for you with the Headmaster."

Draco went ashen. "Potter! He's a Death Eater! He'll have me killed!"

Harry shook his head. "He's a spy. And my dearest friend. Please don't tell anyone that, though. You could get him killed."

"You… you're friends? And you're sure he's not just pretending to be close to you so he can tell the Dark Lord about you behind your back?"

"Positive. He can't hide that from a Telepath. If he was lying to me, I'd know in an instant. I know he acts the snarky bastard in public, but once you get past that hard exterior, he's gentle and honourable."

"But… really, Professor Snape? You trust him?"

Harry smiled softly. "With my life. Literally, more often than not."

Draco stared at him. "We're talking about the same professor who's made it his life's work to make you miserable?"

Harry snorted. "Like I said, he's a spy. He can't show any liking for me in public or he'd be killed. Trust me, Draco. He's a good man and he'll be thrilled to know you're out."

Draco shivered. "Until the Dark Lord burns me to death through the mark or something."

"Not going to happen. As it turns out, I know a way to remove it. Lucky for you, I found the original spell and Riddle's notes in the Chamber, and I'm working on a counter for it. It'll be finished soon, I think."

Draco gaped. "You… Chamber… counter… how?"

"Parselmouth, remember? Most of the rooms in the Chamber can only be opened by a Parselmouth. I actually lived there for a month or so and explored it thoroughly over the past two years. With some help from my first snake familiar…." He paused, grief twanging his heart. "…And Luna, we sniffed out its secrets. Found a lot of other good stuff down there too."

He shook his head. "Turns out Slytherin wasn't actually a bad guy. Nothing like history made him out to be. He liked to research all kinds of magic—dark magic included—and he certainly didn't like Muggles, but from what I can tell, he never hurt anyone without cause."

"Merlin. I… how do you know all this about Slytherin? Even my home library doesn't have that kind of information."

"Accio Salazar Slytherin's private journal, volume twenty-one." The book Harry had been reading before zoomed out of his knapsack and into his hand. "I found his private study."

Draco gasped and reached for the book. "He wrote this?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid it won't do you much good unless you speak Parseltongue, though. At least, not until I finish the transcriptions."

"Dear gods." Draco turned a few pages and ran his fingers over the print. "Harry, this is amazing! You said you're working on a transcription?"

"I have the first two finished. I'll let you read them if you promise not to loan them out or sell them. Slytherin made us promise not to sell his work for personal gain. He said we could publish it, but the proceeds have to go to the school."

"He said?"

"Luna's a spiritual medium, remember? She asked him."

"Oh." Draco traced the cover with wonder in his eyes. "That's brilliant. I'd like to read them, if that's all right."

"Sure. I'll bring the copies by later tonight."

"Thanks." Draco handed the book back to Harry and rubbed his left arm. "The mark… you're sure you can really remove it?"

"Yes. I'm still working out the final kinks in the counter, but we're almost there." He sighed and patted the boy's hand. "I'm sorry, Draco. I think I've pushed you too far after surgery. Are you in pain?"

Draco shook his head. "Not too bad."

"Where does it hurt?"

Draco pointed to his stomach, right over his spleen, then over his broken ribs.

"Yeah, that's going to be sore for a while. You can take another pain draught in about two hours."

Draco sighed. "All right." He looked at Harry and frowned. "You're really good at this, you know."

Harry gave a wry laugh. "I'm trying. Poppy is a good teacher. So is Professor Snape when he's not sniping at me."

"That's something I'd have to see to believe."

Harry snorted. "All in good time."

~SSHP~

As soon as Dean arrived, Harry stood to leave. "Madam Pomfrey is in her office, so you can call for her if Draco needs help, Dean. Or just send me a Patronus."

Dean nodded and sank into the seat beside Draco's bed. "Thanks, Harry. I'll look after him now."

Harry squeezed Dean's shoulder and gave Draco a wry smile. [Good luck.]

Draco jolted and stared at Harry, eyes wide and mouth ajar.

"I did tell you I'm a Telepath. I meant it."

Draco gave a nervous laugh. "R-right. I didn't realise it meant you could… talk in my head."

"From across the castle if need be." Harry patted his hand. "Take it easy, okay? Don't move around too much. You're still healing inside."

"I'll try."

"I'll make sure he doesn't overdo," Dean said with a nod.

"Thanks, mate." Harry paused. "Oh, just so you know, Draco knows about my friendship with Professor Snape now, and he knows about my past and everything, so you don't have to guard me so closely anymore. He knows about my other relationship too, but not about who's in it." He gave Dean a sad smile. [He's ours to look after now. He swore to denounce the Death Eaters and leave home.]

Dean gasped, eyes shimmering. "Oh gods. Draco, you're with us now? For good?"

Draco closed his eyes and gave Dean a tentative nod. "I-it hurts, though. I wanted… I just wanted F-Father to love me. But…." He stared at his stomach, tears streaking down his face. "He never will."

"Oh, Draco." Dean slipped his hand into Draco's and held it tight. "I'm here. I care about you." Harry smiled to himself as the boy's thoughts echoed in his mind. [So much more than you know.]

Harry decided he'd do well to leave them alone and moved to the door. "Well, I'm off, you two. Draco, I'll let you know about your mum as soon as I know something."

"Thanks, Harry," Draco said, his voice subdued.

"Not at all." Harry waved and made his way out of the Infirmary. [Severus, I need you to meet me in the headmaster's office right away. We've had some interesting developments.]

Severus sent him a wave of affirmation, and Harry turned into the stairwell. [Albus, if you're not busy, Sev and I are on the way to meet you about Draco.]

He sensed another wave of affirmation, and headed up to the seventh floor. Albus already had tea and biscuits set out when Harry came in.

"Help yourself," said Albus with a genial smile. "They aren't altered at all."

Harry nodded and swiped one of the lemon shortbread biscuits. A surreptitious scan revealed the old man had told the truth, at least about the biscuits. He poured himself a cup of tea, scanned it, and finding it free of calming draught or other additives, sipped at the beverage while he waited for his husband.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Satisfied?"

"This time."

Albus sighed. "Well, I suppose I do deserve it."

Harry shrugged. "What's the word on Narcissa?"

"Nothing yet. Kingsley sent me a Patronus just a moment ago stating the manor was deserted. They have found neither Lucius nor Narcissa at this juncture."

Harry winced. "That… doesn't sound good."

"They may have simply… gone out."

"After nearly beating Draco to death? I doubt it."

Albus nodded gravely. "Perhaps Lucius is simply lying low. He may be operating under the belief that mortally injuring his son is too grave an offence for even his sterling reputation."

"Let's hope that's all it is."

"Indeed." Albus turned to the door. "Come in, Severus. I was just updating Harry on Narcissa's situation." He repeated his information to Severus, who responded in a similar vein to Harry.

"Now," said Albus, all vestiges of twinkle gone, "what is the situation with Draco, Harry?"

Harry took Severus' hand. "I told Draco of my bond and my past—I didn't mention your name, Sev—and swore him to a vow not to repeat it. Once he realised I understood, that I knew his secrets and his pain, he… he defected. He's under our protection now, and as such, he'll need a safe place to sleep. The dark Slytherins will come after his blood the first chance they get."

Severus brought Harry into his lap. "He is ours now? He turned from his father?"

"It… hurt him to do it. But knowing his mother is in trouble, knowing Lucius nearly killed him—it hurt him too badly to stay. Yes, he's on the side of the Light now."

"Oh thank Merlin," Severus breathed. He buried his head in Harry's shoulder. "I have been so worried for that boy. And so worried for you."

Harry leaned against his husband. "I know, Sev. The plan is over. Draco's safe, and he's just my friend now, no ploys, no plots. You have nothing to worry about."

Severus clutched Harry tight. "Not quite. There is still the matter of keeping him safe and out of trouble." He rubbed his chin. "I wonder. If I were to take him on as an apprentice—now that it is safe to do so without threatening the Light—it may prove of benefit to us both. Draco can help me make potions for the Infirmary and Order. It would give him something positive to focus on and free some of my time. Perhaps then you and I would be able to heal the bond without snogging in the middle of the Infirmary at least."

Harry snorted. "Never in my life did I imagine I would hear Severus Snape Prince use a term like 'snogging.' But that's a great idea, love. I'm sure Draco would be thrilled. He does love potions."

Albus' twinkle returned. "Yes, I agree. And in terms of his safety, Harry, are you using your bedroom?"

"For a blind, yes." He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you asking?"

Albus hesitated. "Ah. I had thought we could set Draco up in it, but no. That wouldn't do. You do not sleep in the room, true, but you still need it to keep your cover." He rubbed his beard in thought. "Hmm. I do believe there is another empty room a few portraits down from yours. I will have Dobby clean it for him and place Draco there from now on, once he recovers enough to leave the Infirmary, of course."

Harry groaned. "Albus, have you been overdosing on the lemon drops again? Dobby was a Malfoy family elf. Perhaps you might ask one of the other house elves to clean the room for him? One not traumatised by Lucius' cruelty?"

Pink crept up Albus' cheeks. "Oh dear. I am afraid I had quite forgotten that detail. You are right, of course. Though, if I may say so, I believe Dobby would be relieved to know Draco is safe and away from his father."

"Well, I'll tell him then, but for Merlin's sake, don't just throw him right back into taking orders for them." Harry shuddered. "It'd be like asking me to clean the Dursleys' house again."

Albus winced. "Yes, I do see your point. In that case, I will allow you to inform Dobby about Draco. Perhaps you might also let Draco know about the room and Professor Snape's offer now?"

Harry stood and gave his husband a kiss. "Right away, if that's all right with you. He's terrified for his mum."

"With good reason," said Severus in a dark voice. "I don't like it, Harry."

"Neither do I, love, but there's still hope." Harry kissed Severus' forehead. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Yes, after my office hours. I will need to speak to Draco first about the apprenticeship, and then I will be home."

Harry frowned. "Sev, I don't think you can advertise the fact that you're taking in Draco as an apprentice the day he defects from the dark."

"Unless I make it appear as though I am trying to wrangle him back into it, but no, I agree. It would be safer for everyone involved to keep it a secret, at least until the war is won."

"My friends and I will help keep it quiet." Harry slipped his hands into Severus' hair and gave him a gentle, slow kiss. "I love you, Sev. I'll be home later, okay?"

"I love you too." Severus stroked Harry's cheek. "Until tonight."

"Yeah. See you later, love." Harry waved to Albus, Phineas, and Fawkes and made his way out of the office, his heart conflicted. Joy for Draco's loyalty and his possible apprenticeship gave Harry a thrill, but fear for his mother's condition loomed over all like a shadow.

Deserted… why would Lucius desert the manor? He must have had a reason, and the horrifying possibility of what that reason might be left Harry's blood cold.

Gods, he hoped Narcissa was okay. From all Severus had told him, she didn't deserve the hand she'd been dealt. And if she died defending Draco—Merlin! Draco would never forgive himself.

He opened the Infirmary doors and froze, horror playing havoc with his spirit. Draco's quiet sobs arrested him the moment he stepped inside. Oh gods. Had Dean refused him even in the midst of all this hell? Was Draco hurt?

Heart pounding, Harry dashed to Draco's private room and stepped inside. Madam Pomfrey stood by the door, her expression sombre and her eyes wet. Draco had buried his head in Dean's shoulder, weeping helplessly into the Gryffindor's robe while Dean rubbed his back and murmured in his ear. Harry's heart sank. Dean wouldn't hold Draco if he had refused him. Something had gone terribly wrong.

'Oh gods, don't let it be about Narcissa.'

Harry rushed to Draco's side and held the boy's shoulder. "Draco! Dear Merlin, what's happened? Are you in pain?"

Draco shook his head and buried his face in Dean's robe. Dean stroked his hair and looked up, and Harry gasped to see he was crying as well.

"Oh gods. What's gone wrong now?"

"His mum," Dean said in a broken voice, confirming Harry's worst fears. "Tonks was just here—they found Draco's mum outside Wiltshire. Lucius… k-killed her for saving Draco's life. She's gone."

Harry sank down the wall beside Draco's bed, grief rocking him to his core. "Oh Merlin, no."