I told you I'd have more chapters out today! I'm making up for the time that will be lost as I recover from surgery. :D Hope you like this chapter! Love you guys!
Lost – Red
"Your whispers fill these empty halls.
I'm searching for you as you call.
I'm bracing, chasing after you.
I need you more.
I'm lost in you everywhere I run.
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new.
I'm lost in you something I can't fight.
I cannot escape.
I can spend my life lost in you."
March 2, 2011
Cleveland, Ohio
Hyatt Hotel Room 5646 and Gym
3:12 PM
I had gotten out of the house not too long after the break down. John had tried his best to cheer me up, even going as far as to accidentally hit himself in the nuts to try and get me to laugh at his pain. I had to admit, it was pretty funny to see him clutch his crotch and fall to the ground cursing himself but I didn't make a sound. I did hide my smile with my hair as he closed his eyes and willed the pain away.
Truly, like I kept telling John, all I wanted to do was see Randy and talk to him. The ring on the chain was burning a hole into my chest. John and I flew back out to where the guys were in Ohio and went to the hotel. He dragged me to the room where Adam was and left us alone while he ran to talk to Vince about something. I had continued to stare at the floor.
"Kayley, you can't stay depressed like this." Adam said to me, rubbing my back as he joined me on the bench.
"I can't help it. My whole world is coming down." I replied to him, resting my head against his chest.
"We will all be here for you, to help build up those castle walls." Adam responded to me. He kissed my head and smoothed back my hair. "You have been through enough to last four life times; I think you deserve a break to do whatever you want to do. You need to let yourself feel happiness. You deserve to feel happiness right now."
"I want Randy." I whispered softly. It was almost unheard.
"I know."
"I was born to make him happy." I said, playing with his shirt. "I don't want to cry anymore."
"Then don't." He said. "Don't cry one more tear for him. Don't let anything affect you right now. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe and happy. Hell, do what Chris Jericho used to do, have a one night stand with someone!" He laughed.
"That sounds pretty good." I grumbled, pulling myself back up.
"Alright, let's do some talking." Adam announced, letting himself lean against the headboard of the bed. He pulled me towards him so that my back was against his chest. "Okay, now spill."
"I really don't want to talk about it right now."
"Ugh, women are so frustrating." Adam grumbled. I curled into a ball between his legs, my head resting against his shoulder. He held me close, his body heat warming me up and making me feel safe and comfortable. He hummed a song, not one that I knew, but it sounded nice. "Ya know, I went through something like this with Amy and Matt."
"I know, I was there to witness it." I replied, reminding him that I was on the road with Shawn around that time. Adam made a noise in the back of his throat. "Adam?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." I said. "Sometimes all I need is to be held."
"It's cool. I'll be your pillow." Adam chuckled kissing my head softly. "Whenever you need me, just tell me. I'll be there for you. Always."
"Thanks." I replied. I looked up at him. "It sucks that I keep dragging John into this."
"He doesn't mind." Adam said, smiling down at me.
"I think all I need to do is get all my emotions out."
Adam sat there thinking for a few minutes before smiling brightly. "I have the perfect idea."
I, then, found myself in shorts and a white wife beater shirt and standing in the middle of the gym in the hotel. There were a lot of superstars that were there, sweating and working on their bodies. I noticed Glenn was over in the far corner with Big Show working on the dead lift and Cody Rhodes was working on his legs. Rey waved to me from his area by the bench press and Kofi smiled brightly. On the other side of the gym were DH Smith and John Morrison, taking a break and drinking some water. Sheamus, Ted DiBiase and Miz were all talking while doing weights. It seemed like SmackDown was being separated from RAW in the gym. Adam walked me over to the punching bags and helped me get taped up as John walked in, making his way towards us.
"Hey, man, glad you could join us." Adam said in greeting to John, who shook his hand.
"No problem." John smiled before kissing my cheek. "So what are we doing today?"
"I was going to let her punch the bag a few times before we take her towards weight training and core."
"I think we should do the bag, then the core, and finish with the weights so she's not jello by the end." John replied, taking off his shirt and taping up his wrists.
"I'll be jello by the end of this." I grumbled, letting Adam fix my ankles.
John laughed and started to stretch his body. I couldn't help but stare as his abdomens constricted and contracted as he stretched. I felt the warmth rise in my stomach and then suddenly go south. I bit my lip and made a small noise in the back of my throat. Adam looked up at me before turning around to see what I was staring at. He snickered and went back to what he was doing as I blushed deeply that I was caught.
"Alright, let's get up." Adam patted my thigh and helped me up. He gave me the gloves and thumbs up telling me to center all my emotions and aim at the bag. "Alright kid, let's do this. Punch the hell out of this bag."
I sent a punch to the bag, making it swing back maybe a centimeter. I groaned and Adam held the bag, making it become stationary. "Come on Kayley; put your anger into it." John said from the matt.
I sent another punch at it and it did the same thing, not moving too much to be considered good enough by Adam and John.
"Come on Kayley!" Ted yelled from the other side of the gym. "Kill it!"
"I can't."
"Don't say you can't! You can!" Big Show shouted. "You can do anything you want!"
"Kayley." John said, getting up and coming over to me. "Close your eyes." I looked at him before doing what he said. I closed my eyes. "Good. Now, remember all the pain you have experienced during the past week. Remember all the pain you felt when everything happened in that hotel room?" John was speaking clearly and everyone in the gym had stopped moving. I could feel their eyes on us and I knew they were listening to every word John was saying to me. They were slowly putting the story together because of him. "Think of that hotel room, think of that day. Valentine's Day. Randy came back from the arena that night. He didn't do a thing for Valentine's Day,"
"Asshole." Morrison mumbled to Big Show.
"If she was my girl, I'd treat her like a Queen."
"He came back to the hotel room that night," He pushed back my hair and stroked my cheek. "You told him that I kissed you," He stopped when some of the guys gasped at it. He told them to shut up before turning back to me. "You told him when I told you not to. You went to touch him but then he turned around. He hit you,"
"Oh hell no." Ted growled deeply.
"Will you shut up?" Adam snapped at them.
"He accidentally hit you." He continued. "Remember that pain. Remember the heartbreak you felt when he told you he cheated on you with Kelly Kelly?" There was more commotion as weights were being put down for good. I felt the tears sting my eyes. "Think of when you found out he hasn't been taking his medication. Remember the pain and anger as the fight broke out. All the things that were being thrown around the hotel room and the pain inside your chest."
"John…" I whispered, not wanting to keep my eyes closed.
"Think of how it felt to know that he is the reason your child is no longer with you."
"That was harsh."
I snapped my eyes open, turning sharply to my left and sending my right arm forward towards the bag. I hit the bag so hard it actually made Adam let go and move backwards, away from it. I imagined Randy's face was on the bag and I kept sending punches as everyone cheered me on. I growled and kicked it before collapsing on the ground and crying, throwing off the gloves. John knelt down and kissed my head.
"Shhh." John soothed. "Hey, look at me." I looked up at him, my makeup running down my face. Adam bent down and cleaned off my cheeks. "Look around at all these people." I looked at everyone's faces. They all resembled proud and sadness. "Everyone is here for you. All we want is to see you succeed and be happy. We will all be here for you. Always."
"He's right kid, no matter how hard you try to push us away, we will always come crawling back." Glenn said, helping me up off the floor. He hugged me, kissing my head.
"I still think my first idea was the best." Adam said more to himself than to anyone else.
"And what was that?" Ted asked as he put the gloves away.
"Have a one night stand with someone." Adam laughed hysterically, making everyone else chuckle at him.
"Pick me!" Show said, raising his hand and jumping up and down.
"Show, quit, you're making the Earth shake." Morrison responded calmly. Show retaliated with a nice slap to the back of the head.
"We should call Jericho; he's the best at one night stands." Cody laughed.
"We should!"
"Do I get a say in this?" I asked them all.
"Not really." Adam shrugged, whipping out his cell phone.
"So I'm going to have sex with Chris Jericho?"
"Probably." Adam replied.
"Wonderful." I said rolling my eyes. I noticed John frowning from his position near me. He didn't seem to like the idea that Adam had made. I was a little bit nervous about having sex so soon after having a miscarriage. I felt like I wasn't giving the unborn child enough grieving time. I felt horrible.
"Hey Chris? Hey man! It's Adam!" Adam said into the phone. We could all hear Chris talking but we couldn't understand what he was saying. It felt good to hear a little bit of Chris' voice again. He had left for Dancing with the Stars and he was getting ready for his competition. "How are you man? That's good, hey; I have a favor to ask. No, nothing like that!" He laughed at something Chris said. "But I know you've heard about what's going on with our beautiful danger child, Kayley Michaels. Yeah. No, she's okay. No she's not having a mental breakdown. No…she's not about to jump off the roof. No, she's…Chris shut up!" Adam said as he rolled his eyes. I snickered as John came to stand next to me. He smiled at the sound. "Well, the guys and I were talking and we think she should have a one night stand with someone and we couldn't think of anyone better than you. I didn't mean it like that bro." Adam rolled his eyes again. He pulled the phone away from his ear and put Y2J on speaker phone.
"I'm not a whore Adam."
"Couldn't have fooled me." Cody spoke up.
"Shut up Runnels." Chris replied. "Is she there now?"
"Yeah, I'm here." I said loud enough for Chris to hear me on his end.
"Hey baby girl! I miss you! Now, I'm not taking anything Adam said seriously until you tell me what's going on."
"Well, it's just like Adam said. He thinks I should have a one night stand."
"…I should take you out to dinner first and we should talk about this before we even get to the idea of having sex. Not that I wouldn't want to, believe me. Who wouldn't? Anyway, are you free this Thursday?"
I tried to think of anything that was going to interfere with going to dinner. "Yeah, I'm free."
"You think if I give you a plane ticket you'll fly out to LA for me?" Chris laughed.
"Chris, I'll pay for it." I chuckled. John smiled again at the sound.
"No, I got it. So Thursday, you'll fly out around noon and we'll go to dinner at BOA and we'll talk about it. Sound good?"
"Perfect."
"Okay sweetheart. I'll see you then. I love you girl!"
I smiled at the phone. "I love you too Chris."
Adam and Chris talked for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone. Adam smiled brightly and jumped up and down. "You're gonna get laid!"
"Oh shut up. We don't even know it yet."
"Well, you're flying out to LA Thursday…you better call us and tell us the good news!" Adam smiled. "We'll have a man's night!"
"Oh jeez, these always get me in trouble." John groaned.
I laughed and everyone stopped moving. Soon, I was being tackled to the floor and everyone dog piled on me. I think I was slowly moving on. Randy wouldn't know what hit him come WrestleMania.
