Somehow, though he was as well rested as possible these days, Nagisa felt extremely drained. In theory, he supposed a large amount of it was the emotional strain of everything surrounding him, trying to split his time as fairly as possible between everything, on top of school, and the fact that Daichi would be turning one. He felt bad about it, but the idea of his son's first birthday made him feel kind of sick. It was unreal, that it had already been a full year.

He wasn't sure what he was really supposed to do for a first birthday. Daichi didn't even understand what the concept of that meant, so Nagisa couldn't exactly ask him what he wanted to do. In fact, really he knew he could give Daichi a bowl of stones and he'd be happy for hours, but the thought of that was kind of awful.

"Poke," Rin said lightly, doing just that to his cheek.

Nagisa blinked, focusing back on his surroundings. "Oh," he said, "did I zone out again? Sorry."

Just smiling, Rin didn't seem that bothered about it. "Thinking about something?"

"Nothing interesting," he half lied, not really feeling like talking to Rin about anything like that. Though, frankly he didn't have an issue with it, it was just… something he didn't think he'd be able to understand.

"Am I seeing you this weekend?"

He grimaced slightly. "Sorry, I've been out far too much already."

Rin just sighed, and then leant forwards. Nagisa tried his best not to flinch when he ruffled his hair. It wasn't that Nagisa didn't want to spend time with him, it was just if he did he'd spend the entire time eaten up with guilt. As it already was, it was bad enough that he had to go to school every week day, where Rin would see him already.

"That's lunch," Nagisa said, when the bell sounded to signify the break period was over. He stood up, shoved the remnants of his food back in his bag, and made for the door.

"Hang on just a minute," Rin called out, momentarily sprinting to catch up. "We're going in different directions."

He knew what was coming, and braced for it. Like it happened in slow motion, Nagisa saw Rin's face come closer towards his, and he waited for the perfect half second to slightly twist his head, so that Rin's lips planted themselves on his cheek. Maybe Nagisa was being crazy, but he kept panicking whenever it happened. A part of him wondered whether it was the risk of not being in complete private ever, because it wasn't like he'd never kissed anybody before. Or perhaps it was the context that mattered, since they'd all been mostly meaningless.

Still, he was able to pull away after a second or two of contact, smiling as honestly as he could. It was enough of a goodbye, apparently, since they really did pull in separate directions after that. With only a little bit of the school day left, everything else went rather quickly, a blur of an English lesson and more homework. After that, at least, he was glad to be on his way home.

Keeping a good pace when he got off the train, Nagisa actually reached the nursery earlier than he usually would. Often, he'd manage to make it right before closing, but there were a couple of other families still there. He weaved his way through them in the entrance way, so he could announce himself there. But the worker shot him a certain kind of look, and he knew something was up.

It didn't take him long to find out. Right around the corner was Daichi, though not instantly recognisable. Honestly, Nagisa didn't want to know how it happened, but he was completely covered in mess. Aside from stray bits of mud, he seemed to have a bunch of paint all over himself, in an array of colours. Almost hilariously, he had a bunch of red in his hair, which only heightened his resemblance to Karma.

"It was finger painting today," the worker explained. "We're working on cleaning everyone up, but…"

That didn't explain why paint was covering his whole body, but he still didn't feel like questioning it. At least he was painting with proper materials this time it seemed, rather than his usual choice of food. It seemed to be that it was full body painting, rather than just finger, but there was only so much control you could expect out of a one year old, he supposed. Honestly, Nagisa was slightly surprised something so small could cause so much mess.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled and began to walk over. "I was going to give him a bath anyway."

Daichi's face lit up. "Dada!"

"Hey," Nagisa picked him up, ignoring the smudge of still wet paint over his side. "Did you have fun today?"

He didn't answer him, but instead put his hand on Nagisa's cheek, smudging him with a red handprint. Considering the amount he'd dealt with the last year, a bit of stray paint was the least of his worries. Surprisingly, Daichi didn't immediately complain when Nagisa started to make his way out of the building, which meant he must have been pretty worn out.

It didn't help that it was the height of winter, though it hadn't snowed like it did a year ago. Probably finding the warmth comforting, he remained practically snuggled in his arms, in fact noticeably dropping off a few minutes later. He hadn't done that for a long time, either. It made Nagisa realise that maybe he really did miss the days where Daichi would easily just fall asleep against him.

By the time they got home, he still hadn't stirred, so Nagisa hoped the bath he was definitely going in would wake him up more. He felt bad, but if he just let Daichi sleep now, he'd likely be up all night, and he didn't want to deal with the ramifications of that. So, before he unlocked the door, be cringed before gently shaking Daichi awake, bracing himself for a look of betrayal.

However, instead of pouting at him, Daichi yawned peacefully, slowly blinking his eyes open. Nagisa immediately wondered if he'd accidentally brought home the wrong child. Well, he supposed he should just count his blessings. He doubted anything would keep Daichi in such a passive mood once he immediately put him in the bath.

"We're back," he called out, shifting the door open."

"-ack," Daichi tried to mimic.

There was a moment's pause. "Welcome home," Karma called back, using the formal version of the phrase with a bite of sarcasm.

Daichi jolted even more awake, at the sound of his voice. "Papa?"

Knowing when to pick his battles, Nagisa bent down, letting Daichi stand on his own. He hoped the paint on his hands had dried during the journey, because he went running off (well, he walked as fast as he could currently manage) down the hallway. He stretched his arms out, now that he was childless, deciding to waste no time in running the bath. Otherwise, their entire apartment was going to be covered in paint.

By the time the water was running, Karma had picked Daichi up, holding him at an arm's length as he came into the bathroom.

"What happened to…" He stopped mid question, face morphing into a smirk. "Say, Nagisa… Did you walk home like that?"

It took Nagisa a moment to realise what he was talking about. He hadn't even thought about what he'd looked like, back at the nursery, he'd just wanted to go home… Before he could turn his head away to look in the mirror, Karma's hand was just there, touching his cheek. Like his brain was suddenly struck by loose electrics, he jolted, though Karma must have mistook it for discomfort, removing his touch immediately.

Nagisa swallowed. "It was finger painting day, apparently."

"No kidding," Karma looked down at Daichi. "Is that how this happened?"

Though he tried his best to reach out for him, Karma was quicker, and managed to dodge. Not too happy about that, Daichi tensed up for a moment, before tears began to spill out of his eyes. Since he was already covered in paint, Nagisa took Daichi off him, soothingly rocking him a little, whilst managing to glare. He seemed to get over it pretty quickly, at the very least.

Since apparently Karma wasn't going to be all that helpful, Nagisa balanced Daichi on the lip of the counter. It was a skill developed with a lot of time and practise, but he'd become an expert at holding him up and undressing him at the same time. Still a little upset, Daichi did his best to protest, but Nagisa still managed to get his clothes off and him into the bath.

He was eventually joined by Karma, who had rolled his sleeves up and got on his knees. Daichi seemed to be in a forgiving mood, allowing Karma to hold him up. It meant that Nagisa had the free hand he needed to fill up a small jug, pouring it over Daichi's dirty hair. Surprisingly, he'd never been that fussy about actually being washed, which was convenient. The bath water quickly began to turn multi coloured, as paint was washed off.

Daichi appeared to notice the difference compared to his regular baths, lunging for the colours. It was a good thing Karma was the one holding him up, because despite his size Daichi was oddly strong, especially when he wanted to go places. Though, maybe Nagisa was worrying too much about it. The water wasn't even that deep, so he was probably fine… But really, so close to that first birthday, Nagisa wasn't that keen for all the growing up stuff.

"I think you're good," Karma said, breaking the silence.

Apparently he wasn't, because Daichi immediately tried to wiggle out of his grip. Since he had water and soap on his side, he managed it within a few seconds, giggling as he did so. At least the actual cleaning part was out of the way. Nagisa sighed, letting him play as he wanted to for a few minutes. That, it seemed, turned out to be a slight error of judgement. Daichi got this devious glint in his eye, and then slammed his hand down across the water, splashing him.

It was a good job Nagisa was used to recognising that kind of look, and managed to dodge. Karma hadn't been in the direct target line, but apparently decided that was enough, picking Daichi straight up despite his protests. Daichi gave up, though, letting Karma wrap him in his towel, since warmth was preferable.

Which meant Nagisa was left to drain the tub, and then try and wash the paint from his own face. He didn't really mind any of that, though. Though he couldn't really pin point the cause, something in his life was making his head feel… full. An uncomfortable kind of full. Once he was cleaned, he went back into the living room, where Daichi and Karma were chatting. Well, Daichi wasn't making much sense, but Karma was still nodding along.

"Oh yeah?" Karma asked seriously, when there was a pause in the babble.

Daichi stared him back just as intently, and then continued on. Listening in for a moment, Nagisa determined there were no actual words going on, not that he could make out anyway. Regardless, he probably thought he was making perfect sense. He turned around, seemingly noticing Nagisa's presence, and continued to babble in like he was a part of the conversation.

Sitting down next to him, Nagisa joined in with the playing along like he could understand. At that point at least, Daichi had been dressed in his pyjamas, and after a few minutes his energy started to flag. Considering how covered in paint he'd been, Nagisa had to assume the finger painting had been pretty vigorous anyway, so it made sense.

"Are you still going tomorrow?" Karma asked after a while.

It took Nagisa a couple of seconds to register what he meant. "H-huh? Oh, yeah… Are you still not coming?"

Karma tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "To spend the day with your parents? Nah. I have homework, anyway."

He supposed he couldn't blame Karma. Why would he want to hang around with Nagisa's parents? They seemed to get along well enough, but that was clearly out of necessity than any real desire to. His parents were busy on Daichi's actual birthday anyway, so it wasn't like he was missing anything important in not going.

With nothing much else to really talk about between them, the evening basically tapered out from there. Daichi was gone at that point, ready to be tucked in after everything. And then he and Karma went their separate ways, as had been the case recently. Nagisa tried to remain positive that it was just that they were both busy and tired, rather than any underlying issue between them. Still, he couldn't help but miss just hanging out more.

The following morning, they remained the same. Karma really wasn't kidding about the studying it seemed, deep in the zone. That was, the brief moment Nagisa even saw him. As always, he preferred to work in the silence of his own bedroom, and only Daichi was ever permitted to disturb that. So, Nagisa brushed it off, getting Daichi up and dressed by himself.

It was early, and they definitely didn't need to rush. Still, Nagisa wasn't even going straight to his parents. He knocked on Karma's door out of courtesy, to let him know that they were in fact leaving the house, but he didn't get much of a response. Nagisa wasn't desperate to wait either, knowing how impatient Daichi was bound to get.

"Ready to go?" He asked with a slight sigh, making out to pick him up.

Daichi blinked up at him, realised the connection outstretched arms and restricted ability to move, and did his level best to run off in the opposite direction. Thankfully, it wasn't like they were running late or anything, in fact they were early. Considering his options, Nagisa decided that fighting Daichi on this wasn't really necessary.

"Nonononono," Daichi was meanwhile babbling, wondering around hastily.

Nagisa crouched down to his level, still so that Daichi wouldn't decide he wanted to play tag. "Do you want to walk?"

Slowly, from the chair he'd taken refuge behind, Dachi nodded. It took him a few moments, before he accepted that Nagisa wasn't going to try and pick him up again. Finally, he came over, following Nagisa out of the front door. Then came the next challenge, the stairs. Since they lived in an apartment, Daichi hadn't had much of that kind of climbing practise.

He looked up and Nagisa, and then the stairs, and then back to Nagisa, before stretching his arms up. Not wanting to spend an hour leaving the building, Nagisa happily obliged. He was apparently comfortable up there after everything, wrapping his arms securely round Nagisa's neck, the few paces from the front door to the stairwell enough. Nagisa couldn't help but notice Daichi had got a lot heavier than he used to be.

The walk to the park wasn't far from there at least. Kunugigaoka was still cold, though not as bad as the evening before. Nagisa had always preferred the warmer weather, so it was hard he supposed not to feel a little bit down trodden before the turn of the seasons. Now that Daichi was old enough to really take it in, Nagisa wondered how he'd like spring.

"Nagisa kun!" A loud voice jolted him out of his thought.

"N-nakamura san!"

She grinned widely. "And Daichiisai! Aw, did you miss Auntie Rio? Come here."

Daichi looked somewhat alarmed when Nakamura took him out of Nagisa's hold, but he didn't start crying surprisingly, nor did Nagisa stop her from doing it. He blinked up at her, breaking out into a full smile after he got used to being held by someone else. Though Nagisa was sure Nakamura didn't hold many infants, she seemed comfortable enough supporting his weight.

"A-auntie?" Nagisa questioned aloud.

"A-a-" Daichi tried to copy, before giving up. "Hiya!"

She rocked him a little, and then raised her pitch. "Aw, you're so much bigger than I remember you! Isn't that right? Huh? Did you grow?"

Honestly, he hadn't pictured her to be big on baby talk, yet she continued to coo at him. Nagisa and Karma never really engaged in that kind of thing. Maybe it would have been different if he'd been doing it since Daichi was born, but back then it had seemed kind of silly, especially since he knew Daichi hadn't been able to understand him. Switching now would be just as odd. Daichi seemed to understand him, anyway.

Nagisa laughed awkwardly a little. "How has school been for you, Nakamura san?"

Still looking at Daichi, she shrugged. "Passed first year with flying colours of course. None of it was as interesting as last year though." She paused in her speech. "Has it already been a year?"

"Almost," he swallowed. "It's Daichi's tomorrow, so."

She rolled her eyes. "I knew that. I just didn't bring it up in case my invite to the birthday party got lost in the mail."

"B-birthday party?" Nagisa spluttered. "We're not having one!"

Genuinely, Nakamura looked a little taken aback. "What do you mean, you're not having one?"

"We thought about it," he admitted, "but we decided there was no real point in an actual party. He doesn't even know what a birthday is, and it's not like he'll remember it."

Her mouth fell open for just a second, just she snapped it closed again, instead wearing a slightly concerning smirk. She instead turned her attention back to Daichi, who honestly seemed pretty entertained by whatever she was saying to him. With no particular plans other than meeting each other, since they hadn't in a while, they just walked through the park.

Honestly, Nagisa had forgotten how full on Nakamura could be sometimes. He found he was having a nice time catching up with her though. Everyone had been so busy that there hadn't been that many meetups, Nagisa included. He even had their group chat on mute, only checking it on the rare occasions he remembered it. Everything was so normal nowadays that the events of last year were beginning to feel like nothing more than a bad dream.

Eventually, since they were both very busy, Nakamura did have to return Daichi, and go off on her own way. Though Daichi didn't really protest to being handed back over, he did look genuinely a little sad, waving at her as she walked off. He couldn't deny that it was cute. Then again, a lot of the things Daichi did were cute.

Of course, as always, when he eventually got to his parents' Daichi was immediately taken off him again. Nagisa tried his best not to care about how little acknowledgement he received from them, pushing it aside. It made sense anyway considering it was almost Daichi's birthday, and it wasn't like they got to see him that often. At least his father smiled at him and kept the door held open.

Nagisa didn't know how to feel about where his relationship with his parents stood. By all means, it was better than how it used to be, or at least he thought so. Barely speaking felt better than the fear he used to be subjected to, anyway. Whether his mother had changed or not was a different question, but she certainly seemed to be less on the edge of some kind of break down. He was glad that his parents genuinely loved Daichi.

Now that they were inside, and he wasn't limited to being carried, Daichi was pretty happy too. Not that there was much to do at his parent's place. Nagisa probably should have had more foresight for that, but there wasn't much he could do about it then. Well, Daichi had a tendency to ignore everything that was intended to be a toy, and instead play with things that were probably dangerous, so Nagisa was sure he could amuse himself.

They ended up sitting in the kitchen area, since his mother made some tea. As predicted, Daichi wandered around, checking out the unfamiliar surroundings. He seemed particularly confused by the traditional seating in the living room, since they had a proper sofa at home. Once he'd had enough of that, he ended up back at the table and was picked up by Nagisa's father.

"I can't believe he's already one," he commented, looking down at Daichi on his lap.

"Mmm," Nagisa replied out of necessity, not wanting to think about it too much.

The day went by without fanfare after that, with little more to talk about. By the time Daichi got tired enough to need a nap, Nagisa decided to take the chance to leave. Again, Daichi didn't complain when Nagisa elected to carry him, but didn't actually fall asleep either, a somewhat impressive feat.

Of course, when they actually got home, and Nagisa let him down, he straight up passed out on the floor in the time it took him to take his coat off. The floor couldn't possibly be the height of comfort. Maybe he should feel guilty about letting him sleep like that, though he was planning on putting him straight to bed

"Wear him out?"

Nagisa looked up, meeting Karma's eyes. "I don't know how."

Honestly, Karma didn't look that much better, a little hunched over with dark circles under his eyes. He didn't show it anywhere else in his expression or demeanour though. He walked over confidently enough, scooping Daichi up in his arms. He didn't stir, or anything. Was he getting enough sleep normally?

"Maybe he's having that growth spurt," Karma offered, as if he could hear Nagisa's thoughts.

The doctor kept saying so. Every time Daichi had a check up, he declared that he'd grow soon. It had yet to actually happen. Daichi had been growing, and was definitely a lot bigger than he used to be, but the change had been incredible subtle. If anything, the change in Karma's height had been more jarring recently. Nagisa found that he was craning his neck up more and more almost every day.

Karma put Daichi down for the nap he was taking properly, and then returned back to his room without saying much else. Whilst Nagisa wouldn't have minded basically having their whole apartment to themselves, there wasn't a whole lot to do. He didn't have any real homework to do, so he invented extra studying until Daichi woke up again, though he wasn't in a particularly boisterous mood.

Before he knew it, the day was over, and he was left to his own thoughts. Nagisa didn't tend to look back on things too much, but it was surreal how this time a year ago he was suffering in hospital. It was a good thing you couldn't remember pain, however even if it were possible, everything was still completely worth it. He tried to drown out the scarier thoughts of what was ahead.

He knew when he woke up the next morning that Daichi didn't understand what the day was, or care about its significance, but that didn't matter too much. As always, he was awake by the time Nagisa pulled himself out of bed, significantly in brighter spirits. So maybe on some subconscious level he did know.

"Happy birthday," he said anyway, as Daichi looked at him funny.

It wasn't that much of a treat, but Nagisa let him have an extra piece of fruit for breakfast, as well as some of the dreaded strawberry milk. He and Karma had had a long debate about whether drinking that stuff was alright or not, but it hasn't seemed to have too much of a bad effect. Nagisa just didn't want him developing a huge sweet tooth already. Internally he'd been referring to it for a while, but it was crazy that Daichi was now officially one year old.

Nagisa wasn't in a particular mood to rush him, so he let the eating turn more into playing. It was still the usual kind of morning. What wasn't usual, however, was Karma making an appearance. He even jolted at the unexpected sound of the door. Karma didn't give him much in terms of acknowledgement, yawning his away across the apartment until he reached the coffee pot.

He just watched him do it, trying not to be grossed out when he poured his own carton of strawberry milk into the mug. "Happy birthday Daichan~"

Once again, Daichi mostly looked confused by the new word, though giggled somewhat.

Karma didn't seem to mind that, ruffling his hair with one hand as he took a sip with the other. "He's still so small."

"Not as small as he was a year ago," Nagisa commented, looking over at him.

He nodded slowly. "It was the first thing I thought when they handed him to you that first time. I didn't get how you were so big yet Daichan was so tiny."

It had been a lot, hadn't it? Ignoring Karma's slight insult. Of course, to this day, he still loved Daichi as much as he had that first moment he set eyes on him. It was just more manageable now, he'd adjusted to it, but back then it practically knocked him off his feet. Karma was right though, even know he was smaller than he probably should be, he was a proper little person now.

"He needed room to kick me," Nagisa remembered.

Karma laughed a little under his breath, before straightening out, as if he wanted to say something. He didn't get whatever it was out, though, because out of nowhere there was a knock on the door. They both looked at each other in question, as if either one of them was expecting a guess. When only silence followed, Nagisa slowly walked over to the door, curiously pulling it open.

"Surprise!"

Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't several of his old classmates to be there. The last time this had happened, during his own birthday, he'd actually been expecting it. So the actual surprise made a little more sense in this context. Then again, Nagisa wasn't quite sure what to say, but Nakamura's wicked grin was enough to set the record straight. He wasn't mad at her for organising whatever this was, he should have expected it really, but he was more dazed than anything.

"C-come in?" Nagisa got out.

Kayano waved a small flag, significantly more decorated than it had been for his own birthday.

"Sugaya couldn't be here," Nakamura explained, "but he wanted to help so he made the banners."

Nagisa nodded very slowly at her words. When they all came in, Karma also gave them a nod of acknowledgement, just as confused as Nagisa was, though he didn't wear it as obviously. Daichi just squealed, as if he actually sensed that all of these people were here for him.

"We're not bothering you, right?" Sugino asked him lowly as the others moved in. "Nakamura just said she has this idea, and-"

"It's okay," Nagisa confirmed, "I need to actually get dressed though.

By the time everyone actually got dressed, which was a challenge considering how interested Daichi was in the party, and how not interested he was in wearing clothes, it looked as if they'd been planning a party all along. Nakamura was right, Sugaya had done a pretty good job on the banners. Unused to seeing his home decorated so colourfully, Daichi seemed practically amazed.

Even if he didn't know what a birthday was, he knew about toys, and it seemed like he was about to receive a lot of them. Nagisa couldn't help but feel a slight shot of guilt when he realised everyone had bought a gift. Unfortunately, he knew first hand how costly any baby things could get. The idea of the others forking out a lot… He tried his best not to worry about it, as they sat around and waited for Daichi to open his gifts.

"You have to rip it," Karma explained to him, out of the ear shot of most of their friends. Of course, he'd never really come across wrapping paper before. Karma demonstrated it a little, creating a small tear. Face shooting up with concentration, Daichi attempted to do the same, though his hands had to be guided a little.

Nagisa smiled. "That's a good job."

That was the point, apparently, when Daichi decided this new thing was extremely interesting. More interesting than any of the gifts underneath. Even when everything was open, and he was surrounded by more stuff than any one year old probably needed, he seemed content to just sit and shred the paper, occasionally crumpling it up into small misshapen balls.

Admittedly, it felt nice to have everyone over, enough so that he regretted not trying to organise something in the first place. Even if Daichi didn't get what a birthday was by the time he turned two, they'd still definitely throw something, though that was still a very long way off. Weren't babies supposed to turn into nightmares at that age? He dreaded it, though he couldn't help but wonder if Daichi even counted as a baby now.

Unlike the days before, his energy levels remained consistent through to everyone leaving. Having been made the centre of attention by them all day, he genuinely seemed to pout as everyone filtered out of the door. His wave was practically pitiful. It was almost the school break, and Nagisa wished he could explain that Daichi would probably see them again soon.

"Say thank you," Nagisa instructed softly. He didn't expect much, but he figured it was good to introduce manners sooner rather than later.

His face creased up. "Tha-tha-Thank."

It was close enough. Nagisa held him close, as he shut the door, and like that the energy disappeared. He supposed being engaged directly for so long must be tiring, not that they didn't usually pay him attention. It wasn't so bad, he could explore all his new things the next day. Daichi yawned onto his shoulder, burrowing his head. Nagisa internally took his earlier sentiment back. He was still definitely their baby. With the smile he displayed on his face, he was sure Karma was thinking the same thing.