Trevor Issues


After buying some throwables, Yang heads towards the Trevor Mission, once there, she gets out of the truck and walks up the stairs, at the top of the stairs, she sees Floyd, trying to get into his own apartment.

Floyd: What the F word are you doing here?

Trevor: That's a funny way to meet you cousin.

"Yeah, jackass. Remember the special moments where we bonded?" Yang asked.

Floyd: You ain't my G-damn cousin, Trevor.

"It's so weak it's sad," Ruby murmured.

Trevor: (feigns hurt) I thought we was family.

Floyd: Please just go and ruin somebody else's home furnishings.

Female Voice: (shouts) Who the F is that, Floyd?

"Oh nobody 'cept a psychopath." Blake commented.

Floyd: (stammers) No one, my sweet!

Trevor: (raises his voice) Hey, by any chance did you catch crabs at that conference?

Trevor then pushes Floyd aside and kicks the door open, the female occupant screams in shock, startled by the sudden boom.

Female: Ah! Floyd!

"I'm assuming that's the infamous Debra," Blake deduces, she definitely lives up her title as Scirlocc Helmerich's sidekick.

Trevor: (walks into the room menacingly) I heard that those conferences are regular little fuck fests! Huh? (walks into the kitchen) Can I come in? Huh?

The woman and Floyd follows Trevor into the kitchen, she was clearly indigidant.

Female: (in an authoritative voice) I'd like you to leave, right now!

"Good luck trying to kick out Trevor, he practically lives there no whether you like it or not," Ruby said.

"For your sakes, just leave him be and you won't die," Weiss warned.

Trevor: (grabs a mug) Oh yeah...some serious corporate gangbanging going on, right? (goes to the sink and fills the mug with tap water). Yeah with every executive and director of communications from here to Bangalore, taking it left, right and center in the name of team training, right?

Trevor faces the Female, feigning ignorance to the sight of the Female's frown.

Trevor: I mean, now that's what Floyd (points his mug at Floyd) told me yesterday as he was staring at my, err...my penis (sits down on the couch)

"Pffffffttt!" Yang spat.

"To be fair, you did put it against his face," Weiss smirked.

Female: (raises her voice) I want you to leave! Now!

Trevor: (in a reasoning tone) Look, this is all I have right now, I had a tough upbringing. My daddy was not nice to me! Okay? Now look Debra, I love you and I love you too, Floyd. Why can't we all just be together, huh?

"This is Trevor at his finest!" Yang cheered.

"What a maniac…" Weiss murmured. Trevor wears a sad expression as he continued his monologue, going sadder with every word as if a heavy wrench was hit on Trevor's chest, meanwhile, Debra was clearly fuming as her expression turned grim. She took a step forward and was about to attack Trevor...only to be stopped by Floyd.

Trevor: (continues) You can have Mondays through Thursdays, you can have the weekends, alright? I know that's not normal but in this crazy, crazy world, is normal so good, huh? Look Debra, Floyd! (gets down on his knees) Will you marry me?

"PPPPPFFFTTTTT!" the team spat simultaneously.

Debra (clearly incensed): (shakes out of Floyd's hands) Get out of my condo! (points a finger at Floyd) And you go too, Floyd. I told you, I've got a career. I don't need this...this...this...crap!

Trevor: Yes!

Debra: There. You made me swear. You're crap, Floyd! Crap! You're not a man at all. Bob's right about you.

"Feel like the bigger person now?" Blake asked sarcastically.

Trevor: (surprised) Woah. Who's Bob?

"A better man than Floyd," Blake snarked.

Debra: (storms towards the hallway) I want both of you to go, (stops and turns around, pointing a finger towards the exit) now! You and your weird friend.

"You know, there's some buttons you shouldn't press, and they're all labeled Trevor," Yang said. Meanwhile, Floyd was desperately trying to pacify both of them down, knowing the Mutually Assured Destruction if those two powers butt heads and declares war.

Trevor: (gets up) Woah, hey! My name is Trevor, sweetheart.

Debra: I (storms towards Trevor) could give a fuck what your fucking name is! (walks into the kitchen) I'm not afraid to use this. I'm not.

Debra is now seen holding a pistol trained at Trevor.

"Well, that escalated into new heights," Yang said in a facetious manner.

Debra: Bob taught me.

Floyd, who apparently lost it, takes the knife on the kitchen counter and points it at Debra.

Floyd: Fuck Bob!

Trevor: You people are not very fucking nice!

"Oh, the irony!" Weiss proclaimed. The screen goes black. A moment later, the door to the condo is seen and Trevor walks out of it, bloodied from head to toe, closing the door.

Wade: Oh hey there, Trevor.

Trevor leans against the metal railing, sobbing.

Wade: (taken aback) Oh…

Trevor: (walks down the stairs) Hey there, Wade.

Wade: Did you meet Debra?

Trevor: Interesting lady…

"And bitchy," Yang muttered.

Wade: (walks towards the stairs) I should probably go say hi.

Trevor: I wouldn't.

Wade: (faces Trevor) Why not?

"Because she pointed a gun at us. And Floyd pulled a knife on us as well. Looks like we're universally unwanted in Los Santos," Blake said.

Trevor: Let's go get in the car, alright? Let's go have the time of our lives!

Trevor walks away and Wade follows, the camera then rotates above, viewing the windows of Floyd and Debra's condo, bloodied.

"Did they really have to kill Floyd? I mean, he was finally manning up for once," Ruby sighed.

"Well, we must severe the weak links, besides, he was going to be a liability sooner or later," Weiss said coldly. The camera transitions to Trevor, who's walking towards his pickup truck.

Trevor: I know exactly where to take you.

The instructions at the bottom instructs Yang to take Wade and go to the strip club.

"Trevor. Y-you pervert!" Weiss remarked, ticked off by the instructions.

"As if we didn't established that decades ago," Blake deadpanned.

Yang gets into the pickup truck and waits for Wade before holding down the right trigger.

Wade: I could run in and get Floyd and Debra. I know she seems kinda uptight, but she can have fun.

Trevor: No, I don't think she can, Wade.

Wade: Just Floyd then?

Trevor: Floyd's gonna meet us there.

"Oh, he probably killed them," Blake whispered to Yang, who nodded agreeingly.

Wade: Boys' trip.

Trevor: Exactly.

Wade:Oh, Trevor, what have you got all over yourself? You're all red. Is that… is that syrup?

"What? Syrup is brownish not red you dolt!" Weiss exclaimed.

Trevor: Yeeeaaaah, Syrup... accident. We've all been there.

Wade: We sure have, but…but it don't taste like syrup.

Weiss gagged and Ruby stuck out her tongue in disgust. Blake meanwhile had her famous deadpanned voice.

"Trevor would use blood for syrup to be honest," Yang admitted.

Trevor: Don't taste me, alright? Just...no licking.

Wade: Okay.

Trevor: Hey, you remember when we met?

Wade: Sure. Last year, I was on the way to the gathering with Daisy Bell, and

Kush-Chronic and..

Trevor: ...and you stopped in Sandy Shores to get lit, and you met a dealer, and he looked after you. When your friends had abandoned you.

Wade: That was weird, weren't it? The last time I saw 'em they was with you, driving out to the quarry, and then they just disappeared.

"Oh those poor people," Ruby whimpered.

Trevor: Poof, right? I mean, they were gone. Some friends, right? And now, cousin Debra…

"Debra isn't even related, and I don't think they met yet," Blake pointed out. Before he could finish his sentence, Yang has already arrived at Vanilla Unicorn. She gets out of the pick-up truck and walks towards the entrance.

Wade: So, this is where Floyd is gonna meet us? A strip club?

Trevor: Oh yeah.

Wade: That's unlike him, he's a real home body. He loves that apartment.

Trevor: Interestingly, you and me, we got a new home.

"I could imagine Trevor living in the strip club," Blake deadpanned. Trevor pushes Wade into the club and follows immediately after.

Wade: Where?

The camera transitions, now showing the interior of the strip club.

Trevor: Here! Right here.

Wade: Here?

As Trevor and Wade have their conversation, two strippers saunters towards them.

Trevor: Now I know it's unconventional, but that's the way we roll, homie. Hey, here, you two, (Trevor points at the pair of strippers) you two. I want you to give this boy a good time. For a long time.

The duo happily obliges as the two of them escorts Wade into one of the private rooms. Trevor then spots another stripper and walks towards here.

Trevor: hey, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Tell me where the manager is of this fine establishment?

Stripper: (points at the Premium Lounge) Through there and take two doors to the right.

Trevor: (points at the same place) Through there…

Stripper: (walks away) to the right.

Trevor: Thank you.

With that, Trevor walks into the Lounge. The camera transitions to the corridor with a door in the middle of the shot. Trevor walks towards it and opens it, peering into the room.

Trevor: Amigo, prepare to meet your new partner!

"You either cooperate or I'll take over your business forcefully!" Yang threatened. Trevor shuts the door and the screen transitions to Michael who's currently taking a phone call.

Michael: Hey Lester.

Lester: Hey, uhh, Trevor just called me about the...umm...the big one, the UD. You know anything?

Michael: Yeah, I told him we could hit it, you down?

Lester: Of course I'm down. Look, I'll get my research together and meet you at Trevor's. He's taken over the Vanilla Unicorn gentlemen's club.

"I could imagine it's just like the airfield, he had to forcefully kick out the previous owners without any proper transaction whatsoever," Weiss commented.

Michael: Alright, message Franklin.

MISSION SUCCESS!

GOLD!

"Well, that was easy," Yang commented. She quickly gets in Michael's car and drives towards the strip club.


Torgine's Notes: Finished up this chapter and the last chapter on the same day while Lake hits the sack. Oh I'm on a roll today.

Lakero45's Notes: I still worked on the team's dialogue as Torgine here just worked on the game's dialogue.