~written by Noah~

Pip watched Cas carefully as he moved about the bunker. He was... off.
His shoulders were slumped, his eyes bloodshot and never looking fully up to meet her eyes. He was distracted and distant. His grace had a dead docile and sick feeling when she was near him, he spoke in one word answers or even not at all. For nearly four days he'd stayed this placid and irritable thing, she was getting worried and annoyed. He didn't seem angry... it was more like he was collapsing from within. She asked what was wrong and tried to comfort him but he brushed her efforts aside with indifference. She was going to get to the bottom of what was troubling him.

"Cas?"
He grumbled in acknowledgement to her existence but nothing more.

"What are you doing?"
He shrugged, eyes on the floor.

"What are you thinking?"she said, letting worry into her tone.
For the first time in four days his icy blue eyes snapped to hers with a guarded, scared and protective glint.

"Nothing. You don't need to know!" He snapped, turning and leaving the room briskly. Pip paused, watching him go. Then followed carefully, waiting until he sat down on the couch and settled. She silently walked toward him and wat next to him, when he didn't resist she wrapped her arms around his shoulders hesitantly until he laid his head on her shoulder.

"Tell me what's wrong." She said plainly.

"I...sometimes remember things. And it hurts me to think about it." He said quietly.

"What things?"

"Thing from when I accepted orders from Naomi." Pip felt herself tense. Cas slowly began to tell the story of another brother besides Samandriel that he had been commanded to end by Naomi. A brother Pip had never met, but Cas had been close go in heaven. He had lost the memory until now. Pip silently and softly smoothed Cas' tossled hair as he rested his head on her chest. He paused to settle his breathing and stop tears from shedding. Emotionally compromised by the telling of being under Naomi's power, he had to take a moment just to breathe so the anxiety couldn't overtake him.

"I don't remember everything..." he said after a while. "Every once in a while, though, something terrible will come back. And it will replay for hours and hours without ceasing. That's why I snapped at you Pippin, I'm sorry." Pip felt an indescribable feeling of injustice and rage within her she couldn't describe, it wasn't just angry. It was powerful. She felt strong and energized in her anger, but she forced herself to stay calm

"Pip, the things she did... the things she forced me to do..." Cas whimpered. Pip took a deep breath, focusing her energy on Cas needing comfort and not her growing rage. She could feel it emanating from her grace, unlike anything she'd felt before. She could see the colors of her grace shifting and rolling around her, Cas hadn't noticed. The rage was growing, she used Cas' grace to steady her own. She needed to be there for Cas, stay calm.

It wasn't easy.

She stayed with him for a few hours, until he admitted to wanting to sleep. Remembering had some of the same effect that sponging did to him. As he dozed off she slipped away unable to control this new rage. She simmered silently as the other hunters prepared for a hunt.
The devils trap glared in the light from windows in the house, the demon had stepped right in. He grinned maliciously at her, she knew he could see the unrest in her grace.

"Cas did other things too you know." The demon said slyly as his eyes glinted back.

"And they're coming back, so many nasty things..." She thought about sickly Cas at home and felt the rage resurge. The power ran through her veins and she didn't know what to do with it except destroy this vile demon threatening Cas. Pip held the demon by the throats against the wall. Her skin hummed a pale blue as black smoke began rising from where her hand had him. The demon panicked and began to struggle as Pip burned him. Suddenly she was far stronger than he, and she held him higher as black veins filled his face and he dissolved into powder bit by bit. The other hunters started as her eyes took on an angelic shade of blue and her skin hummed white, her grace made a soft highly pitched singing sound that was unlike anything in earth. Then all at once, the demon was gone leaving only some ash. She swayed a little, looking around confused. Cas had felt the disturbance in her grace and arrived moments after she'd begin. He stepped toward her carefully.

"Pip?"

"Cas-I'm sorry, what-?"

"You've finally tapped into the whole stream." Gabriel said, appearing from now where. "This was the first time you used your full reserve at once at archangel level. You'll be out cold in the next 4 minutes but hey, nice work." Gave grinned, catching her with Cas as she swayed suddenly. All the power she felt was gone. "Now we can start to train you to maintain this higher level of power..." Gabe trailed off as the world around her grew quiet and dim.
She was exhausted.
She was beyond asleep before Gabe and Cas brought her home.
Cas put her to bed carefully before falling back asleep himself, the nightmares of memory fading already.