I'm back. I'm sorry. I'll never leave you again, baby.
I was on vacation and then lazy and then insecure and then felt the need to edit and edit and edit.
But here are nearly three thousand words, long overdue, if there is anyone left to read them.
Jacob POV
If there was ever a time for the wolves and the Cullens to be in the same space, it was now.
I had tried to get either party to at least go indoors, but they both wanted to be in the forest, with some imaginary line separating the groups. I stood on top of it. Petty prejudices were cast aside in my mind during an urgent time like this.
"So what you're saying is that Adrian was turned into a bloodsucker?" Jared asked Alice after she explained her vision.
My growling could have been heard for miles. A flock of birds flew from a nearby tree. Adrian was not a bloodsucking, soulless Cold One. She was no monster. She was flawless and kind. Several glares from my family toward him accompanied my sentiment.
"Sorry," Jared said quickly.
"I am one hundred percent sure. My vision was extremely clear albeit brief," Alice said with a wide, white smile.
Sam nodded, "Okay, we believe you. What did you see besides her as a vampire?"
"Something was wrong with Kyle- he got turned too- they are in Seattle, and she made a decision to take him somewhere. I think that decision is going to bring her here because then it disappeared," Alice said cheerfully.
"Have you seen anything else?" Sam asked.
"Yes, actually," Alice said, her cheer fading a bit, "I had an earlier vision of Victoria's army, and they were passing around Bella Swan's shirt. I saw it again with Adrian and Kyle both there."
I made a sound both whimper and whine. I didn't want her there, in the midst of those volatile newborns. Another worry snagged at me. What if she came here to fight with them? I couldn't have her in the middle of the battlefield, but how was I supposed to protect her when the extremely powerful newborn was trying to end me and my family? It hadn't occurred to me that even if she was there, Adrian would not be the same as she was before she was stolen from me. She was only a week old by vampire standards and why would she be different than another newborn? My mother stepped closer to the line and squeezed my hand. I see it had occurred to her earlier.
"She isn't very crazy," Alice said, meaning to be comforting, "The average newborn couldn't make a decision to help her brother. They don't make many conscious decisions at all. It isn't really possible."
I nodded. That gave me some hope. Adrian was always surpassing my expectations. She could probably outdo any vampire ones.
"So how are we going to get her back?" Sam asked. I smiled, knowing that both groups would work with me. She was an imprint to the wolves but a mate to the vampires. Both titles were sacred to the respective sides which meant I had my family and my pack to help me.
"Well, we can hardly storm into the newborn camp or wherever they're hiding, swoop in and leave with her," Edward said because he knew it was what most of people assembled were thinking, I assumed. Despite being really annoying sometimes, Edward was needed to rule out the impractical ideas.
"Why not?" Paul asked, "Move the battle up a little, get them by surprise, it'll be easy. We'll go right now!"
A few of the wolves and my own father nodded. They all liked action, and my father probably just wanted things to be better already. His bright spirit had all but disappeared since I lost Adrian. He didn't thrive in such sad climates.
"Because if we do that, Victoria will escape again," Alice said, "She's obviously not staying with the newborns. We know she'll be at the battle, and we have to kill her. If we don't, what's stopping her from making another army? Ruining more lives?"
"That's true," Sam acknowledged.
"We don't know how she'll react if we find her and tell her to come with us," Jasper said, "Newborns aren't known for their trust."
"But Alice said she's coming back so she must remember us," Esme said. I nodded in agreement.
"She might remember us, but our faces will be near unrecognizable after the advancements in her sight and her already muddled memories. We don't want to scare her," Edward said, "Alice, what do you see as the best course of action?"
"I can't see much because of other undecided factors, but I do see her recognizing Rosalie."
"I'll go," Mom said immediately, "Alice, will you help me find her?"
"Yes. I also see Edward being helpful."
"What about me?" I asked. Aren't I the obvious choice?
"No!" Mom said quickly before amending, "I mean, honey, she's a newborn vampire, and you're, well, alive."
"Oh," I said, "Oh." My eyes widened, and all breath was knocked out of my lungs. For the first time, it dawned on me that Adrian becoming a vampire carried a lot of problems with its one big solution. She was going to be thirsty like all the time. It would be like Bella and Edward's relationship except worse. A lot worse.
And I was going to be the weaker one. No offense to her, but I really did not want to be Bella.
All I wanted to do was see Adrian and hold her and touch her…
Honestly, I probably won't believe my own mother's word if she tells me Adrian is okay. I need to hear her tell me that. I want to be near her, and hear say "I'm alright" at the very, very least.
Almost everyone sent me a look of pity. My brain was still a bit fuzzy after my near comatose state of depression so it was slowly working through all the problems life now held. I had thought my life was over mere hours ago. There had been some relief in that grievous knowledge. It was painful but far less complicated.
I started working my fingers through my hair while I tried to think about this. But my hair was really tangled and dirty though so I stopped that. It had been a while since I properly bathed.
Adrian's a newborn….but she made a decision and caused Alice to see a vision so she has a clearer head than the average newborn. And I smell bad to vampires. Mom even told me that I didn't taste good. So maybe my blood wouldn't be appealing to her. Maybe things will be okay.
Or maybe they'll get sporadically worse.
But for the first time in an infinity of hell, I had some shred of hope. Even if Adrian was bloodthirsty and couldn't remember me and was more likely to run at me in attack over embrace, she was alive. She was somewhere in the world for me to find, and with all the burdens living brought, it now surpassed the alternative in favour.
{0}
"I swear it, Edward, if a newborn sneaks up on us, I am letting them get you," I told my brother. His phone has been buzzing over and over again with messages from Bella. Sometimes he even giggled at his screen. Sometimes I miss the brooding boy I knew and tolerated.
Alice's laugh tinkled at my threats.
"Could either of you take this seriously for one moment?" I hissed, "Jacob's sanity is on the line."
Alice's smiled, "I know, Rose, but don't worry about tonight. I am very confident that we will find her."
"What about the after? What if she doesn't come back?"
Alice bit down on the bottom of her bow-shaped lips, "It's…fuzzy, but I know she isn't going to be violent. So…hurrah. Now this way. We're close."
I continued to lead my siblings as we crept down the street Alice chose. We turned the corner onto a block pungent with foul odors. All of us covered our noses- sometimes we acted too human- but the stench was still very much present in our nostrils. Edward motioned to a sign in a window. It was a butcher shop we were standing in front of. A butcher shop that needs to have its trash collected. It rested next to the door in black plastic bags, emitting waves of rotted animal carcass stink. I wrinkled my nose and kept walking.
A few seconds later, two things were noticed by me in the same moment.
The almost noiseless sound of feet landing on concrete from up above.
And the unmistakable aroma of human blood.
Again, all three of us covered our noses, not to block out a stench but to prevent a very delicious, very tempting smell to affect us.
I turned my back to it. It was a few blocks away, but that particular note was very perceptible to my kind. I had smelled it before and walked away when I was a lot younger. I had had my son's blood in my mouth and then pulled away from it. I felt completely in control of myself.
Edward didn't seem affected either. After countless nights next to Bella and kissing her a thousand times, this was not going to bother him.
I looked at Alice more warily. Her eyes had turned a smidge darker, but she looked in control. She rolled her eyes at my concern. "Well, I think we found the newborns," she said quietly.
Edward put a finger to his lips and pointed upwards with another.
"Kyle, stop," a voice that was unmistakably vampire pleaded. The girl sounded like she spoke a language using bells and chimes. I widened my eyes.
Our Kyle? I thought to Edward. He nodded and mouthed, "Adrian."
I looked up hungrily. Alice grabbed at my arm, knowing I wanted to jump up there more than anything. She looked at me and shook her head. I tried to pull away, but she didn't let go. How such a little person could be such an annoyance was beyond me.
"What do you want from me?" a deep bass asked angrily. Kyle, I assumed.
"I just want you to remember. At least try," Adrian said, "I see how you flinch when I tell you to, but you have to try and look before the burning. Focus on those dark pictures."
"Stop that! And stop following me around! I don't need a little girl trailing after me. And stop calling me Kyle! That's not my name!"
"How would you know that if you don't ever try to remember your real name? Why can't you accept the fact that I do remember? How improbable is it that we knew each other as humans? We were changed at the time, for logic's sake. Now stop being a numbskull, and listen to me!" Adrian said, her words infused with snarls.
"Why would I want to remember being a weak human? Why don't you accept what Riley said? We're better than them now. Get on with your second life, girl."
We heard his departure then and more growling from Adrian.
Alice let go of my arm. I jumped to a perch on to a nearby streetlight so I could leap from there on to the roof.
Adrian was staring after where her brother had left, statue still and snarling. The change had made her more beautiful than before with the sharpened, striking features of our kind. Her hair fell in gentle curls, and her mocha skin was paler, as there was no blood running under it.
Tentatively, I called, "Adrian?"
She spun around alarmed and edgy. Her ruby eyes scanned me over before grinning. "Mrs. Cullen?"
I wrinkled my nose at the stuffy title. "The same, but please don't call me that."
Adrian laughed and flung herself at me. My body instinctively braced before realizing she was hugging me. I smiled fondly at the girl and wrapped my arms around her. She was squeezing me rather tightly, but I just grin and bore it. I don't think she was going to break anything, and she seemed like she really needed a hug. I can only imagine how awful recent times have been to her.
"Oh my God, you're here. I can't believe you came," she said emotionally, "I thought my memory was wrong. I thought I made you guys up. It's been so dreadful here, all alone. I'm the only one who knows why we were created, and Kyle doesn't remember me at all. And my throat hurts all the time, but I don't want to kill the people because none of you did, but there are no animals anywhere, and once I smell the people it's like I lose myself."
"It's okay, sweetheart," I said. I had held too many tortured children this week, "You did what you had to do to survive. And we're not saints. Jacob hasn't told you our backstories yet. They'd probably make you run away screaming."
"Jacob," she breathed, "I miss him so much. It's strange. I woke up, and I just felt this ache like I needed to be near him." She looked bashful of this.
I smiled at her. "Vampires have a larger capacity for emotions than humans so it's natural to feel very strongly about him."
"How has he been? I told him I would be home, and he must have thought I died. I know he goes a little crazy worried if he doesn't hear from me and he can't help it."
"He's been better since he found out you were alive. Worried sick but more hopeful."
Her eyes creased in pain. "Oh, my poor Jake."
"It's okay, honey. We're going to take you home," Alice said from below. She appeared on the roof a moment later, followed by Edward.
"Alice?" Adrian asked. My sister nodded, "And Edward?" My brother did the same.
"It's nice to see you again, Adrian," Edward said.
"The same. You guys are a sight for sore eyes."
"If you want, we can stop by your apartment and pick up a few personal things before we go home," Alice said.
Adrian's brows collided, and she bit down on her lip. "I can't go with you."
"What?" I yelled shrilly. I was only thinking of Jacob's disappointment.
"My brother's still here. He's close to joining a gang, and he isn't controlled like I am. The other newborns kill each other over stupid arguments. While Kyle's mind is absent, I can't leave him with them."
"What about yourself?" I asked. I admired her courage, but this little girl had my son's life tacked on to hers, and she wasn't going to throw both away.
"I hide, I stay in the background. I'll be fine. I know I can get Kyle to remember me. I just need to think of something. As soon as I succeed, we'll leave for Forks."
"Call us," Edward said, "Get away from the army and call us as soon as he remembers."
Adrian nodded.
I pulled her into an embrace, and she froze in surprise before awkwardly patting my back. Usually, my maternal instinct only awoke in Jacob's presence, but I didn't want this child to go back to that army of dangerous newborns. Not only because she was everything Jacob lived and breathed for but because of how she must have so much fear yet she's going anyway. It was brave and selfless- all qualities I never thought myself to possess and awed me when they manifested in such bounty in others.
"Please. Be careful," I begged.
"I will. Tell Jake I'll be home soon."
"Do you have to stay?" I asked, knowing full well that I wasn't going to persuade her.
"Yes. Kyle has given up a lot for me. His whole life, really. I can't give up on him."
"I know," I said, "Call us whenever you can." I reach into my pocket and give her my cellphone.
"I will. I need to go soon. It's almost sunlight."
Edward frowned, "Riley's lying. Sunlight won't kill you."
"I know," Adrian said, "Jake told me, but if he knows I know, he'll probably kill me."
"Please don't let that happen. Remember how much your life is valued."
"I will. Please tell Jake that I love, and I'm sorry I didn't come back like I promised. And that I didn't come back tonight."
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