Both Irene and Mycroft froze at the sound of his voice. Irene's eyes widened, just a little, and Mycroft looked like he was about two seconds away from just telling Sherlock to just shut up. To cut him off, Sherlock advanced until he was standing right beside the table. Because both of them were sitting, it gave him the added advantage of being able to loom over them. He reached down and plucked the phone off of the table, along with Irene's list of demands. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced down the list, reading quickly. As he'd expected, her desires grew more ridiculous the closer to the bottom of the list that he got. Nothing overly surprising, but it was no wonder Mycroft was so upset.
And Sherlock was about to save him. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to gloat or be sick.
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Irene said. Her expression had smoothed out, but now the confidence appeared to be faked rather than genuine. It was a pleasure to know the difference, and Sherlock couldn't resist smirking at her.
"You nearly had me fooled, I will admit to that. There aren't many people in the world that I am unable to deduce. Usually I can tell anything about anyone. But you..." He tossed the phone into the air casually, catching it deftly as Irene started like she wanted to grab it out of his hand before forcing herself to still. "You were a mystery to me for quite some time. It wasn't until now that I realized it was at least partially because I was operating with incorrect information. That is to say, you led us to believe that Kate was your bonded and that she was being held captive by Moriarty, that you were doing this to free her." He let their eyes meet. "And I was right, at least in one respect. She is being held by Moriarty. But you don't care, do you?"
Irene stood up. He'd never noticed before, how small she was. The top of her head was about on level with his chin. "Give me that phone."
"I think not," he repeated lazily. "You're not bonded, are you?"
She flinched. "Mr Holmes -"
"Ah, we've returned to Mr Holmes now, have we?" he murmured, amusement growing. She was trying to distance herself from the situation. It wasn't going to work. He said, "when we first met, you claimed you knew that the house had been infiltrated because Kate had been knocked unconscious. But that wasn't it, was it? You had some other way of knowing. I suspect that it was a small, electronic hearing device hidden in your ear, one that allows you and Kate to pull off the illusion of being bonded. So much easier to put people off when they believe you've already found the love of your life, isn't it? And you've been practicing for such a long time, you've nearly perfected your act." He dropped his voice, let it become mocking. "I should have realized earlier, when you showed no signs of pain whatsoever while she was unconscious. Even the weakest of bonds still include phantom pain. I suppose you were so rattled you simply forgot."
He keyed in the first two characters into the phone and watched her stiffen. "Still, it didn't really occur to me until now, when you said that there are consultants for everything these days. That's when I realized that your relationship with Moriarty was rather different than what you told us."
"That doesn't mean that Kate isn't my bonded," Irene said heatedly.
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "You're still going to sit there and pretend that's what you have?" he asked, not bothering to hide the way his lip had curled in derision. It was worth it, just for the rising flush seeping up her neck into her cheeks. "I don't doubt that it's true Moriarty has her. Maybe he even believes that she's your bonded and that's the leverage he's been trying to use against you. After all, few bonded can survive when their other half is killed. But you - you don't care, not really. Oh, I'm certain that it bothers you that she's going to die. But when it comes right down to it..." He finished the code and all three of them watched as the phone responded, the locked screen fading away to reveal the main screen. "You don't. One look at the frankly selfish items on your list, silly things Moriarty would never ask for, tells me that the only thing you care about is you. I suspect that's why you've never actually found your soul mate."
Her mouth had fallen open, and now it closed, like she was trying to think of something to say. Sherlock relished her silence. He could have said more, dropped a comment about the fact that the lock code had been 'I am SHERlocked' - more proof that she was not bonded, in his eyes, because Irene Adler only used codes that meant something to her - but he didn't. He set the phone down in front of Mycroft and started to walk towards the door. John's admiration and pride was a soothing buzz in the back of his mind, and he wanted to return home as quickly as possible so that he could bask in it.
"Wait," Irene said to his back. She sounded desperate. "They'll kill me."
"Not my problem," Sherlock said, and let the door swing shut behind him. He stood there for a minute, breathing deeply, before he began walking down the hall towards the outside door. He didn't know what Mycroft would do with Irene, and frankly he didn't care.
That was amazing, Sherlock, John said as Sherlock emerged into the cold night air.
Thank you. Sherlock drew his coat collar up. There was one thing he had not mentioned, one thing that was still sticking in his mind, something that he knew Mycroft would probably deduce after some thought into the matter. He'd believed Irene because of his relationship with John. It was so easy to let what he and John had colour his view of the world, to think that all bonded pairs shared what they did. And Irene had taken advantage of that. Just remembering how he'd provided her with the perfect cover story at the warehouse made him burn with private humiliation. God only knew what she would have said if Sherlock hadn't jumped in.
He could sense John's desire to soothe and comfort him through their bond, but fortunately John didn't say anything to that effect. He just said, Come home, Sherlock and Sherlock stopped, flagged down a taxi, and got in.
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