Disclaimer: they still aren't mine but I'm starting to think they should be.
AN: A big thank you to Beth for helping out.
I have the final chapter to post on the other site and am doubling up the remaining chapters on this site, so we can get there quicker. Thanks to those dedicated few who have been there for this journey. I deeply appreciate it.
God bless Japan. Thoughts and prayers are with everyone who has endured so much this year. xox
As quietness descended on the room, Mac kissed Lily's forehead and caressed her face, hoping to lull the child into a little more sleep.
"You know, Lily," she said in a soothing whisper. "I love spending this time with you and daddy on Christmas morning more than almost anything."
"Why?" she asked as she snuggled in closer.
"Well, we've been together for ten Christmases now and that's a long time," she said kissing her head once more.
"But I'm only nine," Lily commented. "How can it be my tenth Christmas?"
"You were born in August and had your first Christmas at four months old, so your second one was at one year and four months then two years and four months and..." Mac started to explain.
"Then at three and four months and four and four months," Lily continued, counting on her fingers. "And five...and six...and seven...and eight ... and nine...Wow! That is ten. That's so cool."
"I know," Mac said, "And ten is a special occasion and daddy and I just wanted to spend some extra time with you."
Loving the closeness of the moment, Lily took Harm's arm and wrapped it around her as she nestled into her mother. "Which one was your favourite Christmas, Lil?" Harm asked, kissing the back of her head.
"When I was six," she said immediately and instantly Mac's eyes filled with tears, she knew exactly what had happened or could have happened that Christmas. Harm was a little slower.
"Why was that?" he asked before looking at his wife and realising. "Oh, sorry," he mouthed. Mac just closed her eyes.
"Because you came home, daddy!" she stated, turning around to face him. "Mommy was pregnant with the twins and you said you would be home by New Year's, and mom was sad all Christmas Eve and grandma and grandpa came over and we went to Aunty Harriet's and Uncle Bud's and then to church and then to the wall to see grandad..." she recited, the memory clear in her mind. "And then...then...we turned around and you were there too and mommy cried and cried and I was soooo happy to see you and the next day was Christmas and it was the best day because you were home."
Pulling his daughter close, Harm kissed her head repeatedly, coming home to his wife and child was a favourite memory of his too. Finding his wife is such distress when she saw him was something he'd tried to block out. Looking up, he saw the tears still rolling down Mac's cheeks, her eyes still closed in an effort to block out the pain. Slipping his hand around her neck, he drew her closer and kissed her head before swiping his thumb across her cheek to dry her tears.
"Don't cry," he whispered into her ear. "It's all in the past."
Reaching out, Mac wound her arm around him and pulled him as close as possible, mindful of the fact their daughter was between them. "I just..." she started but couldn't find the words to finish.
"Sssh, sssh," he soothed, kissing her forehead. "It all worked out."
"I'm getting squished!"Lily announced, wriggling to get some extra space.
"Sorry, baby," Harm said pulling back a little. "You okay now?"
"Yeah," she said resting her head on his chest. "But do you think we can go downstairs now, can we?"
Looking over at his wife, Harm realised she may need a little more time.
"Okay, how about you wake up the twins, grandma and grandpa and call Mattie and Colin and then we can see what Santa's brought together?" Harm suggested, not wanting her to disturb Frankie just yet, and Lily sprung out of bed to start her mission.
Slipping into the gap left by his daughter's rapid departure, Harm wrapped his wife tightly in his arms before his lips trailed a path down to hers.
"You okay?" he asked and Mac nodded before sniffling.
Pleased she was doing okay, Harm kissed her nose. "Are you ready to celebrate? It's been quite a year since last Christmas," he continued, pulling back the covers and sliding his legs out. "One hell of a year."
Slipping on his robe, Harm turned when he realised Mac wasn't getting out of bed. Instead of finding her watching him, as was a common hobby of hers, she had buried her head under his pillow and her trembling, shuddering body clearly told her that she was in utter distress.
"Hey, hey," he said, climbing back in and dragging her into his arms. "What is it? What's wrong?"
The only reply was her anguished sobs and he pulled her closer still.
"Mac, gorgeous, please talk to me," he begged. "Tell me something?" he asked, desperate for some indication as to the cause of this meltdown.
"One... hell of ...a ...year," was all she could manage through her tears.
"Oh, Mac, oh, Mac," he soothed, "Sssh, gorgeous, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said quickly, kicking himself for bringing about her distress. He should have realised that the past twelve months had been a huge rollercoaster ride for them all, especially Mac.
"Can't ...breathe..." she said, breathing so rapidly he thought she was going to hyperventilate.
"Ssh, shh," he soothed, "Just breathe slowly," he encouraged. "In...out...slowly does it...that's it."
"Sorry," she panted, not sure where the overwhelming emotions had come from.
"It's okay, it's okay," he whispered, kissing her head. "I should have realised..."
"It's just...what Lily said...always...kills me...you know?" she gasped, Harm nodded as he rubbed her back. "And then...well...this year...oh god...can't breathe..."
"Okay, okay," he said, sitting up and pulling her onto his lap so she was sitting more upright and able to breathe a bit easier. "Now, just concentrate on breathing for me, gorgeous," he encouraged, rubbing big circles on her back. "Just breathe with me."
While she couldn't find the words, Harm knew exactly what she meant. With her emotions already raw from Lily's trip down memory lane, Harm's reference to the year just experienced had triggered a flashback of the highs and lows; the issues associated with coping with civilian life, Frankie's early arrival, Mac's traumatic hysterectomy, the combination of post partum and menopausal symptoms, the frequent trips to Bethesda, Grams passing, hormonal imbalances, Rosie's ill health and diagnosis. All on top of the pressures of daily life living with three other adults, four children and starting a new business.
"Just breathe," he encouraged. "That's it...nice and slowly...that's it."
Caught up with his wife's distress he didn't hear the bedroom door open.
"Everyone but Frankie..." Lily started before what she was seeing registered. "What's wrong with mommy?" she asked, now too scared to approach the bed.
"It's okay, Lil, just go back downstairs," Harm said, pulling the covers over his still distressed wife.
"But what's wrong?" she insisted.
"Lily, go downstairs now," he said firmly, not wanting to yell and spoil Christmas for her.
"But dad..." she went to protest.
"Now," he said and Lily obeyed.
Taking a deep breath, Harm rested his head against the bed head and closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that as soon as Lily got downstairs his mother or Mattie would be up. It was his mother.
"It's alright, mom," he said before she could speak. "We just need a few minutes."
"What's wrong?" she asked, sitting behind Mac and rubbing her back.
"Mom, please," he said as quietly as he could but realising it wasn't going to help, he went for the truth. "It's just been a hell of a year," he said, holding his wife tightly. "And it's all hitting home."
"Oh, honey," Trish said standing before kissing Mac's head. "You poor thing, I was wondering when you were going to let it all out."
"We're going to be fine," he reassured his mother. "We just need you to buy us some time."
"I can do that," she said, leaning over her daughter-in-law to kiss her son. "You two just take your time."
Back downstairs, Trish wrapped her arms around Lily who had been sitting worrying at the bottom of the stairs.
"Your mommy is okay," she said, kissing the girl's head. "She's a little bit emotional because of everything that's happened this year but she'll be just fine."
"But she was so upset," Lily said, her big brown eyes filled with tears.
"I know," Trish said, holding her closer. "Just think about everything your mommy's been through this year..."
"What like with Frankie and her uterus and hormones and Rosie and Grams?" she asked and Trish nodded.
"Exactly, sweetheart," she said, rubbing Lily's back as she led her to the kitchen.
"So how long's she going to be sad for?" Lily asked, trying not to cry, she hated it when her mommy was upset.
"Just for a little bit," Trish said, helping her sit up on the counter. "By the time she comes down this morning she'll be feeling much better and ready for a wonderful Christmas Day with us."
"Are you sure, grandma?" she asked, not sure if she was ready to see her mommy just yet.
"I'm positive, honey," she said, caressing the child's face. "And I know you are eager to open..."
"Presents don't matter," she interjected. "I just want mommy to feel better."
"Oh, angel, she will," Trish said, hugging her tightly.
"Well, the twins are asleep again," Frank reported coming in from the living room. "So, presents will have to wait... everything okay?"
"Fine, grandpa," Trish said, with a smile. "Mommy and daddy need some extra time this morning because mommy's a bit upset," she explained, knowing Mattie and Colin had just come in behind Frank. "And Lily's a bit upset because mommy is upset but everyone is going to be just fine as soon as we've had our special Christmas breakfast."
Knowing there was something more than 'a bit' of a problem; the adults said nothing as they didn't want to upset Lily further. Reading his wife-to-be's look, Colin moved closer to Lily.
"Hey, kiddo," he said, taking Lily's hand. "We've still got some presents at our house. Can you come and help me get them?" he asked and when Lily nodded, he helped her jump down from the counter before getting her coat for her. Mattie kissed his cheek in thanks as he passed her by.
Once the backdoor was closed, Trish explained the situation and Frank nodded.
"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Frank said, wrapping his arm around his wife. "She'll be fine though."
"I know," Trish said. "It just breaks your heart that they have had to ensure so much."
Mattie nodded; it was heartbreaking. "So, what do we do now?"
"Well, the twins are asleep in the living room, Lily brought them down for Santa's presents before this all happened," Trish explained, "So, I think we cook up a storm for breakfast and buy them some more time," she said."After all, it's only just gone six."
"Where do we start?" Mattie asked, ready to begin.
"I think that's my signal," Frank said turning and heading for the stairs when he heard his youngest grandson cry.
With Mac having cried herself back to sleep, Harm covered her ear hoping Frankie's cries wouldn't wake her. Smiling in relief when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, Harm was grateful he wouldn't have to disturb his wife to see to his son. After changing the boy's diaper, Frank picked him up and slowly opened the master bedroom door, wondering whether having their precious boy with them would help or hinder the situation.
"Hey, dad," Harm whispered. "Merry Christmas."
"And to you too, son," he replied. "Is Sarah asleep?" Harm nodded and Frank smiled, "That's the best thing for her."
"Yeah," he replied with a weary smile.
"How are you doing?" he asked, knowing how hard it was to deal with a very distressed wife.
"Okay, thanks," he said before smiling at his son's smiling face. "Is he here to join us?"
"I wasn't sure," Frank replied. "I've changed him and he's hungry. I can feed him downstairs but just wanted to give Mac the option of nursing him for a bit this morning."
"That's a good idea," he said with a nod. "How about you put him here with us and we'll see what happens?"
Carefully, Frank slid the baby onto Harm's chest and Harm wrapped him in his free arm.
"Thanks, dad."
It was about twenty minutes later when Mac stirred and smiled sleepily at her little boy who was patting her face.
"Hey, baby boy," she said, reaching out to caress his face. "How did you get here?" she asked, aware that had Harm got up to him she would have woken.
"Grandpa brought him in a few minutes ago for his breakfast," Harm said, glad his wife's eyes were dry. "That is, if you want to."
"Yeah, that would be nice," she said, taking her son and easing herself down onto the bed between her husband's legs. "Merry Christmas, little man," she whispered, kissing his head before lifting her shirt. Harm pressed his lips against her head as he wrapped his arms around his wife to help support his son.
"Merry Christmas to you too, gorgeous," he whispered, kissing her head once more.
"Merry Christmas, Harm," she said, craning her head around to kiss him.
Fifteen minutes later, when Frankie had had enough to drink, Harm slipped out of bed to use the bathroom and wash his face, leaving Mac to hold their son for a bit longer.
Returning to the room, he watched as she gazed down at him, her finger trailing over Frankie's face.
"You are so adorable," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his head. "And, as it's your first Christmas, you are going to be the centre of attention and make it so special for the rest of us. You were the missing piece to our family and I'm so glad you're here with us. Now, I know my little outburst earlier would indicate something else but you, my precious little angel, have made this year a wonderful one. Thank you for coming into our lives."
Torn between wanting mother and son to have their moment and knowing there would be an upset little girl downstairs desperate to see her mommy, Harm entered the room and sat facing Frankie.
"Are you ready to get up and start the festivities?" he asked quietly, his eyes fixed on his son.
"Frankie or me?" she asked, standing up.
"Both of you," he said looking up at her.
"Give me a couple of minutes to use the bathroom and I'll be right with you," she said, leaning across the bed to kiss him. "Thank you for earlier. Sorry about being a mess."
"No apology necessary," he said, kissing her back.
True to her word, Mac was soon back in the bedroom with a freshly washed face and brushed hair, grabbing a new tee shirt from her drawer, she pulled off the one she was wearing and put on the new one, under the watchful gaze of father and son.
"Told you she was gorgeous," he whispered to his boy as he cradled him in his arms and stood up. "Ready to go?"
"Yeah," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Let's go celebrate."
A few head tilts, winks and smiles and everyone knew Mac was doing just fine as they entered the living room.
"Merry Christmas, everyone," she said, moving to hug and kiss all present before Harm did the same.
"Grandma said breakfast is ready," Lily announced looking at her dad but not her mom.
"Great!" he said, scooping up Harry. "Are you ready for breakfast, kiddo?" Harry nodded.
Frank brought Frankie in and Mattie walked in hand-in-hand with Rosie and all took their places around the brightly decorated table.
"She won't look at me," Mac whispered to Harm as he pulled her chair out for her.
"Give her some time," he replied. "She'll come around."
"I didn't mean to scare her," she said, hugging him so she could continue this conversation.
"You didn't, gorgeous," he said, kissing her head. "She's just a little unsure of what to do." Nodding, Mac released him and sat down at the table.
With two free seats on the other side and one beside Mac, Harm waited for his daughter to sit and was sure she was going to sit next to her mom, alas, she chose the seat beside her grandmother and Harm slipped in beside Mac and squeezed her hand.
Feeling a little disappointed about her daughter's choice and a little sad she had caused the problem on Christmas morning, Mac played with her scrambled eggs while the other adults chatted to compensate for the quiet.
"You have to eat something," Harm said, leaning over and whispering to Mac before kissing her head.
"Not really hungry," she said, offering him a sad smile.
"I know," he agreed, not wanting to argue with her. "But you may notice a little girl is watching your every move," he added, kissing her again.
"Okay," she said with a furtive glance to confirm his comment. "This is yummy, thanks, mom," she said, lifting the fork to her mouth. "Just perfect for Christmas."
"Thank you, dear," Trish replied. "I had some great help in the kitchen this morning, didn't I, Lily?"
"I helped," Lily said quietly looking over at Mac. "Do you really like it?"
"Like it?" Mac repeated. "I love it. It has something different in it."
"I added Greek seasoning," she said, pleased somebody had noticed.
"Well, it tastes great," Mac said, all the while, Harm rubbed his hand up and down her leg in a show of support.
After breakfast, the family moved to the living room for the unwrapping of Santa's presents. Very quickly there was lots of noise, lots of paper being torn and squeals of delight as the children unwrapped their gifts and Colin took at least a hundred photos of them, their gifts and utter delight.
While Lily seemed to be genuinely happy with her gifts, she really hadn't had much to do with Mac since their eggs discussion at breakfast and Harm was trying to compensate for the gap. Harry had taken the opportunity to climb on Mac's lap and show her the Thomas the Tank engine and puzzle Santa had brought and Rosie was clambering at her leg to show Mac the latest Wiggles DVD for her collection and the cute white kitten puzzle she already loved.
Meanwhile, Frankie sat on the floor between Mattie's legs and played with the wrapping paper and boxes which he found far more interesting than the contents.
"Dada!" he yelled, waving a blue ribbon and bow at him.
Harm grinned widely; his son had called him dada for the first time and it was the best Christmas present he could have gotten.
"What have you got, my little man?" he asked, picking up his son and kissing his head.
"Dada," he repeated, still waving the bow and ribbon.
"Very pretty," he said, touching the ribbon. "And an excellent choice of colour."
Trish could only smile at father and son.
It took a lot of effort for the children to be removed from their new acquisitions to get dressed for church but it was done with the promise of the family presents being given out when they returned. Allowing the twins to take one new toy each with them in the car, Harry chose his engine while Rosie brought the jigsaw box and used it more as a rattle than anything else.
Lily chose to travel with Mattie and Colin and Mac agreed, knowing someone would have to travel in the other car anyway. As she watched Lily walk away holding Mattie's hand she couldn't help the tears which formed. Slowly, Harm's arms wound around her and he rested his chin on her shoulder as he too watched their daughter walk away.
"Is there anything I can say that will help?" he asked, not too sure what to do.
Mac shook her head before turning in his arms and holding on tightly.
"Are you okay?" he questioned kissing her head and she nodded against his chest.
"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Just wish it wasn't Christmas Day."
"She'll come around," Harm said, caressing her cheek. "You know how in tune she is with you. She probably just needs to make sure you're really okay. She hates seeing you upset."
"I know," she muttered tearfully, "I hate being seen so upset."
"I know," he said, kissing her head. "But we'll all get through it and by bedtime it will all be a distant memory."
"Hope so," she said pulling back and getting on with the business of getting her family to the church.
Neither Mattie nor Colin broached the subject of Mac with Lily as they drove to church as neither wanted to upset the child before the service, however when Lily barely acknowledged Mac's presence once they arrived and hurried back to the car for the return trip, Mattie figured it was about time.
Opting for the back seat with Lily, she slid in beside the young girl and put on her seatbelt.
"Now, Lily," she said, taking hold of her hand. "We're going to have a sister to sister chat, okay?"
"Okay," she said, nodding.
"What's up between you and mom this morning?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.
"Nothing," Lily replied, with a shrug.
"Try again, honey," she said, running her fingers through her Lily's brown locks.
"I made mommy cry this morning," she said sadly. "Dad asked me about my favourite Christmas and I told him it was the one when I was six and he came home."
"Oh," said Mattie. Even though she wasn't there herself, she knew the details and it still brought a lump to her throat.
"And then when I came back after getting everyone up mommy was crying and crying ... like she was that time I had to get dad home from work," she continued to explain."And I wanted to help but daddy told me to get out...he never talks to me like that."
"Maybe he just wanted to give mom some privacy," Mattie said, wrapping her arm around the tearful child.
"Grandma said it was because mom was thinking about everything that had happened since last Christmas," she said. "And there's so much hard stuff that's happened since then ... especially with mom and she's spent so much time crying this year and I hate seeing her cry."
"I hate it too," Mattie agreed, kissing Lily's head. "But this morning wasn't your fault, honey."
"That's what grandma said," she answered with a sniffle. "But now I'm scared to say or do anything in case I make her cry again."
"You just have to be yourself, honey," she said, kissing her head once more. "Mom loves you very much and you not talking to her would make her sadder than anything you might say."
"I guess you're right," she said, leaning into Mattie and closing her eyes. Christmas mornings were always so very draining.
Once they were back at the farm, Lily was still a little unsure of Mac as they sat in the living room ready to exchange the family presents. With the turkey and ham baking in the oven and the vegetables prepared the night before, Trish sat alongside her husband, Frankie joining them. Harry and Rosie sat on the floor and Harm sat with them while Mac sat in the armchair, with Mattie perched on the arm of it. Colin was standing, his camera at the ready, while Lily wasn't too sure what to do.
"How about you give out the presents this year?" Harm said to her as she scanned the room.
"Me? Really?" she questioned and Harm nodded, tossing her the Santa hat worn by the Acting Santa for years.
There were presents for everyone from Harm and Mac, and from Trish and Frank, who spent way more than Harm and Mac would have liked, there were presents from the kids to the adults and each was unwrapped and oohed and ahhed over. There were photos and scarves, toys and books, jewellery and power tools.
Then Lily handed out the presents from Mattie and Colin. Opening their joint box, Harm looked at the contents and closed it once more.
"Lil, I think this one's for grandma and grandpa," he said, lifting it up.
"No, it says 'Harm and Mac'," she said, tapping the box before looking to Mattie for confirmation.
"It's the right box," she said with a grin, squeezing Colin's hand.
"Are you serious?" Harm said, trying to get to his feet amongst the chaos of presents and the twins.
"Aha," she replied.
"Very," Colin added with an equally big smile.
"What is it?" Mac asked and Harm handed her the box. Quickly, she was on her feet. "Really?"
Instantly the young couple were embraced by the pair who were showering them with hugs and kisses. While Trish and Frank knew what was going on, Lily confirmed it when she pulled out the contents of the box.
"World's greatest grandad," she announced holding up the tee. "I don't get it," she said.
"Open your present, Lil," Mattie said from Harm's arms.
Quickly, she opened her box to pull out a tee which said 'I'm an aunty'. "An aunty?"
"Colin and I are going to have a baby and you'll be its aunty," Mattie explained.
"Wow! That's so cool!" she said, running to Mattie. "Is it a girl or a boy?"
"We don't know yet," Colin said, rubbing her back. "We've only just found out."
"Ooh, I'm going to be Aunty Lily," she said proudly. "Do I get to babysit and everything?"
"Let's wait until the baby is here to talk about all those things, okay?" she said and Lily agreed.
There were more hugs and kisses before Mac asked the burning question.
"How do you feel about this?" she asked Mattie as she held her hands.
"A little shell-shocked," she admitted honestly. "I only did the test yesterday ... so this is all very new to me and while I thought I wanted to wait for another while yet, I am ecstatic now."
"If you only found out yesterday, when did you get a chance to shop?" Harm asked, wrapping his arm around her.
"Our first stop yesterday was the drug store and Trish and I went in," she explained. "I got the test that not only confirmed the pregnancy but told you how far along you were..."
"So, how far?" Mac asked eagerly.
"Let's just say, this..." she said, rubbing her still flat stomach. "Is a house warming present."
Mac laughed.
"And anyway, when we stopped for lunch I did the test and it was positive...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," she admitted honestly. "I took Colin for a walk to the car to tell him and he was excited..."
"I thought you were sick," Colin interjected, "The look on your face coming from the bathroom scared me. You were so pale and shaky."
"Well, it's life altering stuff," Mattie said, holding onto him.
"So, after lunch," Colin continued, "Mattie and I took some time out before the play and came across those and thought they'd be a perfect way to announce it."
"It was," Mac said before embracing them both once more and offering her their congratulations.
While both Harm and Mac were thrilled for the younger couple, it would take a while longer for them to come to terms with their new title of grandparents.
Lunch was late due to the celebratory nature of the morning and after enjoying a feast, nearly everyone was enjoying an afternoon nap. The three youngest children were in their beds, Frank and Trish were taking some time out in the mobile home, Colin was dozing in the armchair while Mattie was across his lap doing the same thing. Harm was sitting at one end of the sofa, while Mac lay along it, her head resting on a cushion on his lap.
Hearing a noise, Harm opened one eye and saw Lily standing in the doorway.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked her and she shook his head. "Something up?" She shook her head again, her eyes drifting from her father to her mother. "Want to take a nap with us?"
Her nod was almost imperceptible but it was there.
"Will it be okay with mom?" she asked padding over.
"Definitely," Harm replied, raising Mac's arm so Lily could lie alongside her.
Even in her sleep, Mac was aware of a child being with her and protectively wrapped her arms around whichever bundle was there, Harm couldn't help but smile at her instinctive actions. It didn't take long for Lily to succumb to slumber.
By the time sounds of life came from the house once more, Mac stirred and kissed the head in front of her before realising it was her daughter. Pulling back, she looked down trying to ensure it was real and not just a dream.
"It's really Lily," Harm whispered, leaning down and kissing Mac's head.
"When did she..." Mac started as Harm raked his fingers through her hair.
"About five minutes after you fell asleep," he commented, looking at his daughter. "She loves you very much, Mac," he reassured her and Mac nodded. "Now, I need to get up. Can I get you anything?" he asked as Lily started to stir.
"No, thanks, I have everything I need right here," she said, it was the perfect Christmas present. Slowly, Harm slipped out from his position as their pillow and left some cushions in his place.
With her eyes fixed on her daughter, Mac didn't really register her husband's departure. Stroking the child's face, Mac smiled when her eyes fluttered opened.
"Hey, Lily," she said softly.
"Hey, mom," she replied, snuggling closer.
"Love you, Lily," Mac said, kissing the child's head.
"Love you, mom," Lily said with a dreamy sigh.
Later, when she was awake enough to know she was in the loving arms of her mother, Lily looked up at her.
"I didn't mean to make you sad," she whispered to her mother. "I'm really sorry."
"You didn't make me sad, Lily," she said holding the child's face in front of hers. "Sometimes lots of things happen and you think you are doing okay with each one of them. Then one day it all bursts out and you end up crying, like I did this morning. It's no-one's fault, honestly, sweetheart."
"So, me talking about dad coming home and finding us at the wall didn't do it?" she questioned, her eyes tearing up once more.
"No, baby, you didn't do it," she said gently. "I've just had a tough year and it all got to me this morning. I didn't mean to scare you."
"You didn't scare me..." she said quietly. "Dad did when he told me to get out...he doesn't tell me off like that and it made me think it was really bad."
"Daddy didn't mean to scare you either," Mac said, kissing her forehead. "He was just trying to give me some privacy."
"Well, mommy, hopefully next year will be much better for everyone," she said, snuggling in once more. "Mattie will have her baby and Rosie will have her speech lessons and everyone will be healthy and happy."
"That's all mommy wants." Mac said pulling Lily closer to her. "All mommy wants."
