A note appeared in the background:
The entire Cold Open is presented in Play form
(May): We would like to announce the special opening and chapter, as "The MIS-Adventures of Miyazawa and May" have ended the storyline, for the moment, for our special fiftieth chapter. This special segment, aka our Cold One Open, as the Free Country says, is dedicated to Yuki and I's good friends, Satoshi Tajiri, Ken Sugimori, Masami Tsuda, Hideaki Anno, Kaori Suzuki, Atsuko Enomoto, Veronica Taylor, and Michelle Knotz.
Respectively, the voice actresses of Yukino Miyazawa & Haruka...
(May is shown on stage)
(May; cheering): IT'S MIYAZAWA AND MAY: THE MUSICAL!
Another Excel Saga parody… with the same tune from the final episode of Excel Saga…
(May is singing, with fireworks going off)
(May; singing): Yuki and May!
May and Yuki!
Singing… Dancing…
and all in between!
My name's Haruka!
I'm a major league trainer!
Now, let's get it on!
But don't make it so vainer…
What excitement…
when you see in many words.
ENTERTAINMENT!
And it's all for the birds!
(Percival appears in the spotlight, dancing)
(Percival; singing): Wait, hold on!
Hold on! Hold on!
The last thing we want
is a lampooned song-fic!
(May; singing): But why not?
Why not? WHY NOT?
They had music and songs and dance
in another fan fic!
(Miyazawa shouting at May)
(Miyazawa): DUMMY!
(Miyazawa singing in a soothing voice)
(Miyazawa; singing): May… Oh, May…
What must you be so cruel?
In this whole world…
I really miss school
(May; singing): But Yuki… You see…
I want to come along…
(Both): And that is why…
We are singing…
Our son-.
(Miz-K socks both girls, three times)
(Miz-K): NIN! COM! POOPS!
(Miz-K tramples and dances on Miyazawa and May)
(Miz-K; singing): You don't know nothing
'bout a musical, jerks.
You need a time, and the money,
and a lot of hard work!
(Cut to Arima's throne)
(Arima; singing): Hold on, please!
I have something to say!
(Michael Cole; singing): Vintage Cole… And I quote…
(Percival and Miz-K): Will you go away?
(Cut to Pedro's home)
(Pedro): As he said before…
Pedro doesn't really care…
(May starts brawling)
(May; pissed off): I just wanna sing a-!
(Percival and Miz-K brawl with her)
(Percival and Miz-K): We just cannot let you!
(Brawling ensues)
(Miyazawa; annoyed): I am sur-round-ed by-!
(Hyatt appears)
(Hyatt): Like before, I Love musicals!
(Miyazawa): URK!
(Cut to stadium, closing)
(May): That was lots of fun, Yuki, Miz-K…
(May holds up an "Acknowledge, Miz-K" sheet)
(May): and Percival!
(Music ends)
(Percival and Miz-K): MAN! She got us!
(Miyazawa): Fifty chapters… and you find her annoying?
(May; shocked): YUKI! BAD!
Chapter 50
A Breather
At Beavis and Butt-Head's house, they are watching the entire story, unfolding.
"Hey, Beavis," Butt-Head said, "This story is getting cool. Huh, huh, huh… So, like, uh… Miyazawa and May are still alive, but, uh, they are, like, getting angry that their worlds are ruined, or something."
Beavis explained, "Oh, yeah… But, I always figured that it was to find a way home. Heh, heh, heh… But they decided to keep them, making themselves at home. Heh, heh, heh…"
"Uh… I never get the part, where they don't know something about a Ropponmatsu… Huh, huh, huh… They don't know what it is…"
"Yeah, Mmm… Heh, heh… and those two chicks didn't know, either! Heh, heh, heh…"
Beavis thought, "Uh… Hey, Butt-Head, I'm confused. We've seen about many different characters, from different cartoons and shows, and most of the characters were never shown again, until later!"
"Uh… Oh, yeah. I missed the lesbian twins… Huh, huh, huh…"
"Uh… Heh, heh, heh… We don't say that word anymore…"
"They said it! Huh, huh, huh… Why not us?"
Butt-Head asked him, "Hey, Beavis… Huh, huh, huh… Do you like That Woman?"
"Uh… WHOA! Catwoman is in it?"
"No, dumbass, That Woman!"
"Which woman?"
"Uh… Huh, huh, huh… I think the one in the, uh, black and rainbow… The one that looked like May, but it's not. Huh, huh, huh… Or that Diamond Hikari…"
"Oh, yeah… Heh, heh, heh… You sure it's not one of those chicks from The Gang?"
"Uh… No."
"Damn it… Heh, heh, heh… Thought it was…"
Beavis asked, "Hey, Butt-Head… Remember when, uh, that Maynard chick was bleeding? She was like a fountain of blood, but she never stopped! And that Hyatt chick was bleeding… but she dies, all the time. Don't you think they used too much blood?"
"Yeah. Huh, huh, huh… But they have got to stop presenting robots in this story. It's like the Maidens for Hire, except without Pleasure Mode."
"Yeah, really… Heh, heh, heh… It's about time they did something in the porn category!"
"Uh… Huh, huh, huh… I don't think they'd allow it. It's like that these stories are family-oriented… Huh, huh, huh… and it was like, "No nudity on this story, or I'll kick your ass!" Huh, huh, huh…"
Beavis nodded, "Yeah, you're right. Heh, heh, heh… These stories suck, except that Sakaki Wind-Up Doll story. I like it; for some reason, I liked that, since her boobs were the same. Heh, heh, heh… Miz-K knows how to wind it up, like that chick in No Doubt."
"Yeah… Huh, huh, huh… Wind… Huh, huh, huh…"
Folks… Apologies on that remark…
Beavis snuffed, "So… Who's this April again? Wasn't she like that Goth girl in Total Drama?"
"No… Huh, huh, huh… But she loves black. She's like a reverse vampire, with no fangs."
"Yeah… Heh, heh, heh… I vant to suck~! Heh, heh, heh…"
Beavis then asked, "So… May is like, uh, a robot… or an alien? Heh, heh, heh…"
"Damn it, Beavis! You've been seeing this story for fifty chapters now, and you haven't learned anything! Huh, huh, huh…"
"Oh… Yeah… Heh, heh, heh… Fifty… Heh, heh, heh…"
He spit out a soda and cried, "This story has been going on for fifty chapters?"
Butt-Head smiled, "Uh… Yeah. Huh, huh, huh."
Beavis then declared, "Well… if this story make 100 chapters, then I'm gonna try and find one of the characters in the story, and I'm finally gonna score!"
"Uh… Okay, Beavis. Huh, huh, huh… You can have Miyazawa."
"Shut up, Butt-Head! I want a girl, not a woman! Heh, heh, heh… I think I'll try, uh…"
"What about Miyuki? Huh, huh, huh… She's klutzy, like you. Huh, huh…"
"Naw… I think I'd try, uh, maybe one of those Ropponmatsus. Heh, heh, heh… I'll take number one, while you take number 2."
Butt-Head laughed loudly, "You said Number Two! Huh, huh, huh…"
Beavis laughed, "Oh, yeah, yeah… Heh, heh, heh… Poop! Heh, heh, heh…"
They continued to laugh, as Butt-Head concluded, "Uh… If this story does reach 100, I'm gonna score with that Mizuki chick. Huh, huh, huh… She's loaded. Huh, huh, huh… Or that Farra chick…"
Beavis then thought, "Damn it… I thought he was going for Konata or Kagami… Heh, heh, heh… What a dumbass…"
They laughed, as they watched TV.
Meanwhile, Kanaka Nanase, at the AAW building (the Alliance Across the World), was in a meeting with her special agents, Iizuka, Yagi, Honda, Tubbs, and Heiwajima. She played music, composed, and ripped off, by Dr. Eggman.
Kanaka announced, "I called you all here, because you are the greatest agent I ever had the misfortune to know. You're deadly, witty, and mean! You're vicious, smart, and cunning! You're MY type of justice!"
The Robotnik Slide began, as Shizuo was angry, annoyed by the music.
The Robotnik Slide is a Youtube video I once saw. I will NOT divulge you with the link…
Rallo Tubbs sighed, "Dude… Why does Boss K-Nan have a soundtrack of disco?"
He was enjoying it, as Yagi was confused, "Is there a reason why, Kanaka? We left our post, from Prussia, only to come to you."
Kanaka stated, "You took the words, right out of my mouth! This is an emergency!"
Yagi shouted, "I never said it was an emer-."
"Hajime! Stand down!" She smiled.
Kazuto said, "Well, uh, Kanaka, I'm thinking tha-."
Shizuo couldn't take it. He grabbed the stereo and threw it through the window's glass.
SMASH!
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS STUPID SONG!" He yelled.
Everyone was shocked.
Kanaka said, "Heiwajima… You're going to pay for that. In any case, we have learned that ACROSS has arisen. Agent Carl and his two associates/witnesses are on the 2 Wycked, heading to the area in F City."
Shizuo snuffed, "Alright… What do we do?"
Mami shouted, "Yeah! If anything happens to the city, I'd blame Kotobuki!"
Rallo shouted, "Okay, sweet cakes, I know we may have to try it, but it won't be easy. Remember, Intel from Konata Izumi said that their army consists of kids in suits."
Hajime Yagi spoke, "Funny… Didn't they already use it for a movie?"
Mami stated, "Men in Black… Village of the Damned… combined, of course."
Kanaka said, "Listen… I know I haven't been a good leader, which I haven't, but I'm counting on all of you to stop them. We stop the armies, end the faker kids, and stop this nightmare!"
She then sprouted tears and cried, "Narue almost died… and I was worried that it may happen again…"
Everyone was moved, except Shizuo, who thinks it was an act. It was. Kanaka was crying fake tears.
Yagi shouted, "Guys! We must do this for the AAW, Silesia-Prussia, The LSAAWS, and EVERYBODY!"
Mami Honda agreed, "We'll have that finished, before I return to Yuuya… but we cannot go alone."
Kazuto smiled, "Just leave it to us, Miss Honda."
Kanaka sobbed, "Thank you so much."
They marched out, as Rallo shouted, "LET'S DO THIS!"
Shizuo roared, "IZAYA!"
Mami cried, "LET'S GO, IKEBUKURO!"
Yagi shrieked, "GERONIMO!"
Kazuto called, "SITTING BULL!"
Kanaka smiled and grinned evilly.
"Suckers… That old trick worked, like a charm. Just the way to pump up the troops."
The intercom called, "Miss Kanaka, your 5:00 luncheon date is here."
"Cancel it, Bathyscape!" Kanaka cheered, "We have bigger worries!"
Bathyscape announced, "Miss Kanaka! Saving the world is better than your friend, Master Lawson?"
"LAWSON?" She gasped, "Why didn't you say so, you stupid starship?"
"Miss Kanaka! I will not have any lip from you. Now go!"
"Yeah, yeah…"
She left the office, for her date.
Looks like Kanaka bit off more than she could chew…
Get it?
Uh, let's not sugarcoat it… and get to the source of the matter.
Back to the story…
The Kona Force entered the fortress, alongside The Gang, Dan and the others, and the rest.
"Glad you made it!" Jonesy said.
"Well, we wouldn't be here, if someone decided to say that if we lose, we'd die!" Steven shouted.
Kagami snapped, "Mizuki said it; of course, Konata would say something witty, after that."
Konata was shocked, "Damn you! I wasn't gonna say anything!"
Peter shouted, "Focus! We have more duties to perform!"
"Then let Jonesmeister go in first," he smirked.
Dan cried, "No way! I want to burn ACROSS to the ground!"
Nikki stated, "Probability of setting fire in fortress: very unlikely, with just a lighter."
Heather cried, "NO MORE FIRE! Let's blow this crapper tank and go home!"
Elise shouted, "Heather! Be patient and stop acting like Steven Cooke!"
Mizuki shouted, "Hey, leave her alone!"
Jude smiled, "Dudes… We should split up and search for the big boss."
Wyatt said, "We'll cover more ground, if we divide and conquer."
Percival said, "That's too risky. We cannot split into different squads."
Farra snuffed at Elise, "Why in god's name put you in charge? You got some experience, right?"
Steven interrupted, "Steven Cooke knows that-."
"Nobody cares, asshole!"
"Shut up, sister of lesb-!"
Farra strangled Steven, "I told you not to mention that!"
Dan is smiling, "So… the entire hero group falling apart. It's up to me, now!"
Chris said, "I have a bad feeling about this, since we are facing a huge megalomaniac, hell-bent on world domination, despite the fact that every world is fused like a turducken."
Konata smiled, "Like I said, we will stop ACROSS, and free every world; but we'll need to use our heads."
Kagami snapped, "Shut it, Haruhi Robot! Using our heads is what got us here in the first place! How the hell did you get so smart, all of a sudden?"
Chris sighed, "And that's my point…"
Konata said, "Thanks to the creator of Ropponmatsu, I can increase my brain cells, using the power of science."
Nikki stated, "That is so the point, since I was one of Miss Izumi's creations."
Heather cried, "Heather wants a Heather Ropponmatsu, unless you want my hair dyed violet!"
Caitlin stated, "What about a male Ropponmatsu? You got the adult game knowledge!"
Konata said, "Sorry. Gojo Shiouji created all female Ropponmatsus. I can't do that."
Kagami shouted, "Do so, and YOU'RE DEAD!"
Tsukasa smiled, "I don't mind it, since you created us, in Ropponmatsu forms."
Kagami yelled, "Whose side are you on?"
Farra and Steven started to brawl, in a cartoon-style cloud. The talking, all fast and nonsense, continued to grow, as Peter was confused. He then started to seethe in anger. Finally, after all the talking, bitching, moaning, and whining… he glowed in a red aura and cried at the top of his lungs:
"EVERYBODY! SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!"
Everyone stopped fighting, as Peter talked in a fast-manner:
"LISTEN! We are here to stop ACROSS, not debate over who wants what and what they dream of! Since I'm the only person who is serious over the mission, I'm in charge of the operation! You whine about everything, bitch about what problems you have, and complain over the most random acts of bullshit! You realize that if Arima wins, we all die! I've seen it in animes, before! They always pictured that the Earth, and everything will be destroyed, but they always saved it, in the end! You realize that if we stalled for time, we lose everything? Think about it, you damn dip-wits!"
Farra was shocked, "Whoa… I have never seen you angry, like that."
Peter looked away, as Miyuki, in a dark pink sentai suit said, "I agree with him. Arima is going down. We lose, rather than debate, it's over for all of us. Which means, that if ACROSS controls the world, everything we stood for, in our own time, it'll never be the same. We lose… we die… forever!"
Konata nodded, as Kagami was convinced. Dan, Chris, and Elise agreed. Tsukasa cuddled Mr. Mumbles, as she agreed.
Steven, Heather, and Farra were in disdain, as they heard the words from both Miyuki and Peter.
"Steven Cooke… is right about you, big guy," Steven said, "I don't care about my usual popularity; I wanted the world saved… just for my… I mean, our fans."
Mizuki said, all blushed, "You're so outspoken… That's why I lov-."
Percival then coughed, "AHEM! I know this is heartfelt, but do we forget that we have to end ACROSS?"
Peter then said, "Yes. But I'll handle that bastard, myself. You guys handle what you like."
He loaded his rifle and dashed off. Everyone was worried.
Percival announced, "Guys… I think I know a way to get there. Miyuki and The Gang will face Arima. Dan, Elise, you take Chris and the twins to the control area. Sources tell me that they have a huge weapon to destroy every major city in the world. We need you to stop him from launching it. Konata, you lead the Kona Force to the main room in the fortress, and make sure the soldiers are defeated."
They all cried, "RIGHT!"
They all separated, as Percival left with Miyuki and the other Gang members, to find Peter.
"You have good leadership skills," Miyuki smiled.
Percival said, "Well, I am the leader of The Gang… but I should retire from it soon."
"You're the youngest," Steven said, "Why should you retire?"
Percival smirked, as Heather was confused.
"This is…" she thought, "Is he serious?"
Outside the fortress, Miyazawa, dressed in her camos, with Pero Pero on her shoulder, was amped up for her attack.
"Pero Pero, it's time we finish this nightmare," she bellowed, "Once we end Arima, and his ACROSS, I want a divorce!"
Pero Pero pouted, as Yuki smiled, "Oh, don't give me that. Besides, he may have May, in his clutches. Besides, I just cannot believe it… I only wish that Hyatt is cheering me on."
She ran off, heading to the ACROSS base.
"May… Please be okay…"
The final battle begins… in the next chapter…
To be concluded… Arc-wise…
A huge red guy rolled down and landed on the floor, belly-down. He then made a grin at the camera.
"Hello~! It's me, Lance Sackless…" he introduced, "As you may have known, I was in a previous chapter (Chapter 3), but I have a right to complain, since I'M NOT IN THIS STORY!"
He held up a contract and cried, "This is my contract, and it has been violated~. I'm supposed to BE in a chapter of the MISADVENTURES of Miyazawa and May~, SERIES-WISE, at least ONCE! Why for you torture me, even when I was nine (ni-yon)? I want to be in this chapter! And it's almost the end of the second series!"
He paused and said, "Wait… I'm in a chapter, right now?"
He looked at his contract and laughed.
"Never mind…"
He snorted and chuckled.
