Author's Note
Hello readers! I'm back. The story is coming back with a new chapter.
Anyway, the chapter sets few hours after the last scene of Chapter 47 and it doesn't include smut.
Specials thanks:
To Teresa: who is my personal consultant on this story.
And of course all of you that favorited reviewed followed even the one's who only read that story.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS the characters and Little Prince quotes.
Warning:This chapter isn't edited and corrected by Beta so forgive mefor my grammar errors. Unfortunately English isn't my first language. and I are still searching for a Beta.
This is the new chapter of Familiar Faces. Enjoy!
Athena
Tony always wanted to have a dog but he never dared to get one. It wasn't the fact he didn't like dogs but because of he had been bitten by one once. It was a Rottweiler one summer at the Hamptons when he was 5 years old. That bite made him stay at the hospital for 5 days having multiple stitches on the wound that was caused. It was the reason he decided to get a harmless goldfish as pet which named it Kate, after his former partner. Even when Ziva had left he had bought one more from that adorable species, one more goldfish, so he would name it after her. He didn't dare to get huger a pet until he adopted Rick Blaine, a cat that he had found on an alley. But when the cat ran away he didn't attempt to get another big sized pet, until the day he went to the pet shop, so he would buy fish food and saw Matty. He still remembered the moment he entered into the store and a young man was keeping on his arms an adorable German Shepherd puppy. From the moment Tony had seen it, he knew that Ziva would love it. The only thing that prevented him from adopting it was the incident he had, when he was a kid and the fact that dogs hated him. However, all dogs in the World couldn't be bad and Tony could see the fear on Matty's eyes barking at him with a screech when he tried to approach it. As much as he didn't want to admit it his heart was captured by that sweet little face and he was certain the same thing would happen with Ziva. Tony's suspicions were confirmed the moment he saw the glint on Ziva's eyes when she hugged the puppy, when he told her that it could be theirs if she wanted to. She felt content and for a strange reason so did he. He was feeling Matty like his child and missed him as Hell all that month that he couldn't see him, and couldn't play with him. They were lucky that Gibbs gave them day off so he would spend time with them. Tony was sitting on the floor with Matty. He was petting him all the time. The man whispered something into his ear and the dog waggled his tail happily.
The only thing that Ziva could do was to smile watching them from the bottom of the stairs, her arms folded in front of his chest. She was so happy that things between them went well and they got together again. That moment she felt that everything was as used to be before Zoe appeared, and whatever happened the last month was just a bad nightmare.
Tony took a glimpse of Ziva's presence into the living room few moments after he started playing with Matty. He couldn't take his eyes of hers. He had missed them staring at him with love, passion, happiness. The only feelings he could see on them the past four weeks, were anger, sadness and sometimes he believed even hatred. Both Tony and Ziva had been dazed from the intense way they were looking at each other. It was Matty's lick on Tony's cheek made the man snack back to the world of the living.
Ziva stifled a laugh with difficulty at the sight in front of her. "So? Any plans for today?" she unfolded her arms and took a few steps toward them.
Tony kissed the top of Matty's head and stood up from the floor. "I do have some in mind." he affirmed and wrapped his arms around his fiancée's waist.
"Me too." The suggestive twinkle was obvious in Ziva's eyes and Tony's suspicions were confirmed the moment her hands found the hem of his sweatpants.
"I was thinking." Tony tried to utter through the passionate kisses that Ziva was giving him that moment.
"Mmmmm, what?" Ziva moaned between the kisses and wrapped her arms around Tony's neck.
Tony tightened his grip on Ziva. "I was thinking for a walk to the park." he managed to complete breathless from the kisses.
"A walk to the park?" Ziva pulled away in disbelief, so she would have a better look at Tony.
"Yes." Tony replied placing a strand of hair behind Ziva's ear.
"I had other plans." Ziva frowned and started unzipping Tony's OSU athletic jacket.
"Remember the day I had cleaned your garage?" Tony referred and walked away from Ziva turning his back on her.
Ziva folded her arms once more. "Yes, I do." the annoyance in her voice was evident and it didn't pass unnoticed by Tony who turned and looked at her. "You were Team Leader back then. You were very distant because your father had told you to propose to me." she recalled.
"Yea. I told you, you were lucky to have a garage in Georgetown and it was a waste for not using it. It was a goldmine and we were letting it unused." he grinned at her wanting to make Ziva smile.
For a strange reason Ziva's mood had changed and it wasn't for the better. The one moment they were making out and the other one Ziva seemed angry and sad on the verge of tears. He didn't know, he couldn't understand why, because frankly he didn't say or do anything wrong.
"I remember that day." Ziva swallowed hard jiggling her foot on the ground from her nervousness. "I remember that day very well, because the day after Jeanne reappeared." she finished with a sob and ran upstairs on a record time.
Tony watched her leaving unable to comprehend what had just happened. He didn't give Ziva cause to react like that and he was very troubled for her being upset out of nowhere over Jeanne. But when he thought his behavior back then, when Senior had told him to propose to Ziva. He was distant and Jeanne's reappearance few days later made things worse. Matty sensed the tension of his boss and barked at him.
"Don't bark at me buddy." he knelt down to the one knee and started petting him. "I didn't do anything wrong this time and she just..." Tony kissed the top of the dog's head and blew out a deep breath standing on both of his feet.
He didn't really want a continuation of their discussion the previous night before they made love, much more a repetition of it. However, he knew he had no other choice, that's why he went up the stairs to find her and talk to her. He was aware of that she was on their room crying on their bed, just like she was doing most of the times when they were fighting. Tony burst open the door of the bedroom, a style he had learned from Gibbs, but he didn't slam it behind him afterwards. He shut it behind him almost quietly. He was right. Ziva was there, laying on the bed from the side of the door which was his while her back was facing him. He could hear light sobs escape from her. The man went around the bed and lied on the other side facing Ziva. She had her eyes shut which she quickly opened them the moment she felt the mattress sinking next to her from Tony's weight.
"You know how much I hate seeing you cry." he wiped the tears from Ziva's eyes with his thumb. "Especially because of me." he swallowed hard for a moment. "And it's more hurtful for something that isn't worth crying over." he went on looking at Ziva's watery eyes. "I know I was an asshole back then, but that was my defensive mechanism."
"Why?" Ziva questioned her voice choked with emotion.
"I was afraid to propose." Tony answered without hesitation.
"And you thought to push me away?" She couldn't believe the lame excuse that he had formulized to justify himself. "But I'm sure you did not have the same reaction, you did not do the same thing to Zoe when you proposed to her, did you?" The tone of her voice was hoarse, vexed.
"No I didn't, because I didn't care if it was working, if she was refusing. But you Ziva…Damn!" Tony cursed and ran his fingers through his hair. "If you had refused my heart would have shattered, because Ziva you are my World and…" he trailed off "I didn't want to behave you like that really, but I was scared, so scared of your rejection. And then Jeanne reappeared and things got worse." he paused briefly. "And I know that you believe that I might still have feelings for her and I won't deny it. I have but not those that you think." Tony clarified and Ziva waited silent Tony's next words. "I loved her, I won't deny it, but what I'm feeling now and I will for the rest of my life is guilt for what I have done to her." he explained "She wasn't you and I couldn't love her with the passion, the way I love you."
Ziva didn't tell Tony anything after he finished. She just looked into his eyes. She knew that she was overreacting. It wasn't that she didn't trust him but Tony's behavior back then hurt her. She didn't know that Jeanne would have still that kind of impact on her after so long. Tony was right. She shouldn't be so upset for such things those moments now that everything went back to normal. With a sudden move the woman hugged Tony tight burying her face on the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry Tony. I'm so sorry; I'm such a selfish person." her voice muffled.
"You are not selfish Ziva and don't be sorry." Tony kissed the top of her head. "I just wanna you to stop question me, I want you to trust me."
Ziva raised her head and patted his cheek smiling at him. "I do not question you and I do trust you."
"Good." Tony gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
"So," Ziva sat on the bed. "What are we going to do to the park?"
"Like I told you," Tony began and did the same with Ziva. "When I had cleaned your garage-"
"OUR garage." Ziva corrected.
"Anyway, OUR garage," he repeated. "Between the useless things that the previous owners had left they were two wonderful mountain bikes. I was thinking to ride with them to the park." he smiled widely like a little excited boy.
Ziva was taken aback from Tony's suggestion and tried not to seem surprised but most of all, not to seem inconvenient. She knew that if she accepted his proposal probably his plans for their ride to the park wouldn't turn out so well for her.
"Why should we not go to the park on foot?" Ziva recommended. "Ii is close to our house and-"
"Oh come on Ziva!" Tony exclaimed. "It will be fun! You will really love it!"
"I know I will, but Matty-"
"Matty can follow us with one of us, keeping him from the leash." Tony hurried to give the satisfying solution to her. He couldn't understand the reason that she wanted to avoid riding. "Is any reason you don't want us ride to the park?"
Ziva stared at Tony. He was beaming, his eyes lighting up like a child's. He was so excited, so happy and she didn't want to disappoint him. However, she didn't want to be humiliated in front of him. "No there is not. We can go." she replied simply not wanting to ruin Tony's excitement.
"Great! I should go down then and prepare them." Tony jumped out of the bed. "I love you." he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
Ziva smiled at him before he left. "Oh boy." she sighed the moment Tony closed the door behind him. "What am I going to do?"
"I'm going to kill you DiNozzo." Ziva cursed under her breath trying at the same to maintain her balance on the mountain bike. She hadn't ridden a bike for years, since she was a child. People were saying that even if you forgot how to ride a bike, you could always remember it when the time would come. However, that didn't apply on Ziva's occasion. When she had tried once, years ago when she had first come in America, it hadn't ended up well and since then she hadn't attempted it again, until that day. Ziva was struggling through unorthodox moves to remain on the bike and not to fall on the ground. She didn't want to humiliate herself in front of him, that's why she felt grateful the moment they arrived the park.
"Although it rained yesterday the grass is dry." Tony commented and put the blanket on the ground.
"It is a very sunny and hot day." Ziva observed and sat over the blanket next to Matty.
"Yeah." Tony confirmed placing his hands on hips and looked around the park for few moments, until he spotted what he was looking for. "I'll be right back, sweetcheeks." he informed her and he headed in the direction he wanted.
"Where are you going?" Ziva questioned alarmed and stood from the ground. She put her sunglasses off and placed them on the head, so she would look at him closer. "I need to tell you something important." 'I want to give you back something important.' she thought but for strange reason she didn't manage to utter those words.
Tony stood still and grinned at her. "Don't worry, I won't go anywhere far." he returned and pecked Ziva quickly on the lips before walking way.
Ziva followed him with her eyes and sat on the blanket putting her sunglasses on while Matty rested his head on her lap. She hadn't seen him so happy for a long time. After Tony had moved in McGee's, the dog was so upset that he got depressed. He wasn't eating causing him weight problems. Laughter bubbled up unexpectedly loudly by Ziva as Matty stood and started chasing his tail, so he could catch it. She was having such a good time that she didn't understand how quickly the time had passed and Tony had come back.
"I see you two are having fun." Tony caught Ziva completely off guard.
Ziva jumped. She turned her body lightly and saw Tony keeping two bags in his hands. "I had not seen him so happy for a long time." she confined in him with a glint in her eyes while she was petting Matty. "He missed you."
"I missed him too." Tony walked around his fiancée and put the bags on the blanket. "I missed playing with him, going for a walk to the park." he sat on the ground and faced Ziva. "There you go." Tony opened the paper bag and pulled two sandwiches from it. "Your favorite: Cutlet, with extra fries, feta cheese and mustard along with ketchup."
"You know me too well." Ziva started unwrapping the first sandwich enthusiastically.
"Of course I do. You are my soulmate." Tony's response was unexpected and Ziva froze.
It wasn't the first time she was listening that characterization from him. But it sounded it so natural, every time his tongue slipped that word out which shocked her. She would never forget years ago when he had laughed at her, when she had asked him if he believed in soulmates and frankly she had never believed how things would have turned out completely different those days.
"So what did you want to tell me?" Tony felt Ziva's inconvenience and dropped that line of discussion immediately.
Ziva sighed and wiped her lips with a paper napkin. "Actually I…" she trailed off. She wrapped the remained sandwich and turned, so she could have a better look at Tony. "The truth is I wanted to give you this back." she pulled out from her pocket the Star of David, the one that belonged to her father and she gave to Tony as a present. The necklace he had left on the piano the night before, as he was confident that everything between him and her had come to an end. "I want you to promise me Tony." she went on standing on her knees while Tony was glancing between the necklace and Ziva's eyes. "I want you to promise me." she repeated approaching him still on her knees. "That whatever will happen between us." Ziva placed the necklace on Tony's neck so she would clasp it, her lips few inches away from his. "You will never, never put that off again." she ran her hands on his neck and his shoulders the moment she insured that the item was settled on its place. She could smell the cologne on him; she could feel his hot whiff on her cheek and close to her mouth while he was breathing.
"Never." Tony whispered and monumentally brushed his lips on Ziva's. "Never." he restated repeating his previous action once more. He wanted to do something more than that and he pursuit it but Matty nudged them making Tony and Ziva to pull away from each other. "Hey buddy." His tone was almost quiet just it was on Ziva. "Come here!" he encouraged. Tony pulled from the paper bag a hotdog and gave it to Matty.
"Tony, please do not spoil him." Ziva groaned watching Tony feeding Matty a hotdog.
"Come on Ziva it isn't so bad spoiling him from time to time." Tony defended himself. "Good boy, very good boy." he praised his pet that he was eating his food. "You are so good boy buddy, you are my baby." he went on a laugh creeping into his voice.
Ziva for once more felt uncomfortable with Tony's mention to Matty as his 'baby'. It brought in her mind immediately their discussion about them having baby. Every single hour it was passing she was stifling more around Tony because of his words, his actions. She wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to address that topic to him. She had to do something, so she would change that.
"Why did you hate dogs?" it was the only thing that she could think of that moment, so would defuse the tense of the awkward atmosphere. She never understood Tony's constant despite on that species in the past and much more the change of a heart afterwards.
"How did that come?" question struck Tony's face. He could see Ziva's nervousness and he was aware of that caused by him. However, he had no idea why Ziva had asked such a thing.
Ziva shrugged. "Since I have met you, you were declaring me that you hated dogs. And few years ago, you expressed your wish to get one and now…" she jerked her pointer finger in front her to Matty.
"I never said that." Tony unwrapped one of his sandwiches and bit into it. "They hate me, but I love them apart from the traumatic stress they had created me." Ziva raised an eyebrow on his statement and the man judged he had to explain his words. "Well, when I was a kid my mother and I were spending our summer vacations at the Hamptons." he went on chewing. "Senior was always working, so he joined us only at weekends." he opened the second bag and pulled a bottle of water. "One day, when I was five, my mother and I went for a walk to the beach." he told further. "There was young lady who was walking with a beautiful Rottweiler. I ran to them, so I would pet it but it barked at me and out of nowhere it bit me on the right leg. Right here on the calf." he pointed with his fingers the exact place of his old injury.
"So, is that how you got that little scar over there?" Ziva asked in disbelief.
Tony nodded. "Although back then it wasn't so small. The pain I felt was so sharp, so unbearable that I had passed out. The next thing I remembered was me waking up on the local infirmary. I had to stay there for five days, because of the multiple stitches, plus for some exams. I will never forget the second day of the incident when my dad came and visited me." he stared into distance going back to his childhood's memories. "I was crying and he told that the DiNozzo men didn't cry that only babies did. It was the first time he told me that." he confessed to Ziva with his gaze focusing back to her afterwards. "The second time was when my mother had died."
"I know how it was." Ziva confirmed. "My father also found crying as…weakness." she admitted. "I had only seen him cry on Tali's death, never again. But what did make you want a dog afterwards?"
"You." Tony answered without evasion and Ziva looked at him confused. "The way you interacted with Dex back then, made me understood that all dogs are not bad. Plus, watching Matty's look the day they brought him to the pet shop, how scared he was, it was…I knew it was meant for us to adopt him." he completed and gave Matty a back rub.
"I'm glad we did."
They didn't talk for a long time paying their attention on eating their sandwiches and playing with Matty. Both knew that they were topics that they should be discussed eventually, but none of them had the courage to start the conversation. In the end, Tony was the one who took the initiative and spoke first.
"Ziva." he began hesitantly, moments later and looked at Ziva.
"Yes?" Ziva returned his gaze as intense as his.
"I need to tell you something." his words came out with difficulty as a lump tightened his throat.
"Okay." Ziva told with a hint of worry in her voice. His way of talking wasn't pleasant to her and she knew whatever she was going to hear the next few moments probably wouldn't be pleasant.
"Well," he breathed. "Vance offered me the position of the head on the San Diego Field Office." he revealed.
Ziva's eyes kept peering at Tony's, her expression completely neutral. Nothing was giving away any possible feeling that she could have had. There wasn't any blink on her eyes, or another grimace that he could help him detect her happiness or displeasure.
"Look Ziva." Tony rushed to defend. "Back then, we weren't together, and Vance offered me that job, telling me that I have time to think about it. But I was rushed. I thought we wouldn't be together again and I said yes. But then he told me I still had the time to think about it, but he would have my answer in mind." Ziva still hadn't uttered a word with her look and face keeping the stoic mask in place. "Ziva please say something." he begged. The more she remained silent the more he felt scared.
"Oh." Ziva mumbled on Tony's constant babbling.
"Oh? Oh?" Tony looked at her in disbelief. "That's it? All you are going to say about the San Diego position is 'oh?'"
"We should start house haunting." Ziva voiced her thought. Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry Moi Petit Pois I'm really happy for you." she cupped his face with both of her hands. "Proud of you."
Tony could see the bright, the full of proud smile that crept onto her face. Because she was indeed excited; Tony deserved his own team and not to replace Gibbs. That's why she was so excited with Vance's offer. She found unfair Tony's abilities as a Team Leader to be overshadowed by the ex-Marine's. That's why she had behaved to him so badly back then when Gibbs had retired. She couldn't accept the fact that he tried to compare himself with his boss while he was much more competent than him.
"But we have arrangements to make, so we will able to move in." Ziva completed with enthusiasm and gave him a passionate kiss.
Tony was taken aback from Ziva's sudden action but her words too. He didn't expect Ziva to receive that possibility so positively, much more to consider it as granted. Tony pulled away and casted her an incredulous look. "Whoa, hold on sweetcheeks. I didn't say if I would accept the offer eventually." he informed trying to moderate her excitement.
"Tony this is a chance of a lif-"
"What about your life?" Tony whisper-shouted cutting Ziva off. The woman's face turned serious and pulled away from Tony further. "What about your position on Balboa's team? On NCIS?"
"I will resign." Ziva replied, as it was not a big deal. "Look what I want more than anything is you and…" she trailed off. "Like I told you yesterday, I have lost you many times because of my selfness and…" she uttered a deep sigh. "Tony, I want to stop wasting my chances with you. As for the position in San Diego, you should take it and I will follow you." Ziva approached him and looked at the depths of Tony's eyes. "I believe in you as a Leader." There was no indication of doubt or hint of a lie in her voice but confidence and determination. "I have never been so sure about anything else in my life." she went on with certainty. "Well, besides that I love you and I want to be your wife."
Tony couldn't but smile on Ziva's excitement and the prospective of a new beginning away from D.C. He really wanted things would be different, to the new Leader of Gibbs' team. However, that changed quickly. It wasn't only the existent time period which defined that. Ziva had been right when she confronted him the day she found out about Zoe. He was doing everything to please Gibbs. But what had he gotten in return? Years of hard work and devotion had repaid with constant yells, head slaps and sometimes disrespect, even if they were times Gibbs was treating him better than his own father. However, it was the worst time when the Rota position came up. With Gibbs retired, and La Grenuiile's Op in the works, he couldn't let the most productive MCRT without a Leader, to leave his co-workers without guidance, to leave Ziva. He knew the moment that Gibbs returned, he'd become SFA again and that probably he would never had the chance to have his own team until Gibbs' permanent retirement. However he had a comfort about that development; Ziva being every day in his life, at least as much as time her Liaison position would have lasted on NCIS.
Tony drew a deep breath and pulled away again sitting on the blanket. "Ziva I want to ask you something." Although, he could detect the honesty on Ziva's voice, he was confused. Back then during Gibbs' absence, her behavior was contradiction. She was a good friend of him, with them spending many hours watching movies on her apartment. However, she was questioning him as a Team Leader. 'You are not Gibbs and you will never be.' she had told him doubting his judgment once in a case.
"Anything." Ziva reeled out her remaining sandwich and bit into it.
"How can you believe in me as Team Leader when you had questioned my leadership abilities in the past?" Ziva's entirely body froze upon hearing Tony's words. "Because you had told me that I wasn't Gibbs, that I would never be him. What did make you change your mind?" he questioned further.
He really wanted to know the truth. According to her, he wasn't capable Team Leader, a co-worker that she could trust her life to him. Maybe that's why she turned to Gibbs when she was framed up by the Iranians. But Tony needed to know what made Ziva eventually to change her mind after such a long time. He thought maybe was Somalia and the fact he saved her but he couldn't be certain if didn't take an immediate answer by her.
Ziva was surprised from Tony's words. She didn't expect that kind of question. The woman really wanted to tell him how she really felt back then but she was afraid of Tony's reaction. She debated whether she should lie, but then if they really did want to make it work they had to be honest to each other; 'no lies, no secrets' she remembered her own words the night before.
"I still do believe that you are not Gibbs." she confirmed without hesitation. "You are not him and you will never be." Tony blinked once, his face frozen in a cross between disappointment and pain. Her words really hurt him. "Please, before you jump to wrong conclusions, let me explain." she hastened to clarify and placed her hand over his for reassurance because she understood that the man had misinterpreted her words.
Tony remained silent waiting for Ziva's explanation because he was really confused. On the one hand, she was telling that she had belief on him as a Team Leader that she was proud of him, but on the other hand she was stating that he wasn't Gibbs and he wasn't going to, no matter what.
"I'm telling you that you are not Gibbs that you will never be because you are not like him. You are a good Agent with individual prospective in work with much more and sometimes better than Gibbs', even as a Team Leader." Ziva returned her attention on her lunch. "And I believed those things even back then, when Gibbs had retired." she confessed and bit into her sandwich.
"Then why were you treating me that way?" the hue of his voice was decisive, with his anger obvious on every syllable of his words. "Why did you turn to him for help and not me?"
Ziva felt a slap of guilt hearing Tony. She shifted her eyes and looked at him still chewing her bite. She didn't like the countenance that Tony's face had that moment, but she was not going to keep the truth unrevealed. "I was afraid and mad." she mumbled, averting her eyes to the ground. She bit her lunch once more trying to earn some time, so she would prepare the continuation of her answer. "I did not turn to you because I did not want you to be in danger because of me." she told between her chews. "And when Michael Bashan was appeared with the photos…" she trailed off.
"And why were you mad at me?" Tony didn't tear his eyes away from her. He expected an answer which could be used as excuse from her anger. Despite their professional relationship they had developed friendship and he was confident that she wasn't aware of Jeanne's existence back then, so she would get jealous. It was when Gibbs had returned on the leadership that the first indications had showed up.
Ziva had already let her guard down and it had no meaning to back off now. She placed a strand of hair behind her ear before giving him a pointed look. "I was mad at you, because I had suspected that you were with another woman back then." her words stopped abruptly. "While we were still spending time together watching movies, going to dinner, I sensed that something had made you skeptical." Ziva let her sandwich on the blanket and grabbed one bottle of water from the paper bag. "I was experienced through my Mossad training and in love enough to understand that it concerned a woman." she took a chug of her water. "I did not admit to myself that I was in love with you. I was just fooling myself that it was nothing but physical attraction." she repeated the statement she had done the night when she and Tony had become a couple.
"I had no idea that I had showed signs that…even back then." Tony was completely surprised by Ziva's confession. He had taken precautions because he was aware of it wasn't official NCIS mission, but Jenny's personal vendetta. However, Ziva had been trained by the best and he should have expected that she might have suspected something. Only it wasn't the whole and true story.
"I knew that you would have taken my words awry and that they would hurt you." Ziva told apologetic. "Being Team Leader back then was so important you. You wanted to prove things to us, to yourself." she explicated further. "It was the Achilles' heel on you and I was not mistaken." she went on. "And after Gibbs came back, when I saw you with the hospital bracelet in the wrist I lost the ground under my feet."
"You thought I was sick." Tony declared the obvious. He couldn't forget the constant questions about the bracelet, the worry that everyone had, including Gibbs. He would never forget the fear on Ziva's eyes when she isolated him on the Men's room after the bracelet's discovery. How she had asked him what was wrong with him.
"I thought you had Plague repulse." Ziva managed to say nodding slightly. Still she couldn't believe years after, how difficult it was to have those thoughts and voiced them. "I thought I had mistaken about your affair."
"I see McInformer didn't miss out the chance to brief you." Tony pinched Ziva's nose teasingly and she looked at him. It was clear that the current conversation, the references on that particular era upset her. He could see it through her body language, the look in her eyes.
"I already knew it. It was part of your dossier." Ziva replied "The one it was made when I came to stop Gibbs from killing Ari."
"But it was supposed that -"
"I did not know it until I saw you that day with the hospital bracelet." Ziva cut in letting Tony completely speechless. "That it had only become known to me when you were with Jeanne and I thought you were dying. Well," she took one more sip of water. "When the Intel section gave me those dossiers in my hands, I never believed I would have found you so intrigued." she began. "I mean I had read everyone's files. Yours though…" she halted for a second. "I could not get it out of my mind; I could not get you out of my mind. I was reading your dossier over and over again wanting to learn more about you. I wanted to learn more about you and I did not know why." She didn't hesitate to tell him the truth. It was what she was feeling after all. Maybe subconsciously she had fallen in him even back then; before she met him, only through his dossier. Their meeting only confirmed those feelings.
"It's part of DiNozzo's charm." Tony answered with a smirk of pride on his voice. "All women had been enchanted by the DiNozzo men, so much they were losing their minds without knowing how and why." He wanted to tease her more with his childish behavior, because he knew it would enlighten up her mood.
Ziva rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Under other circumstances probably she would have teased him back, probably threatening him with a paperclip or credit card, however she remained serious. Plague and Jeanne were issues that she couldn't joke about.
"Anyway, I asked more information about you and the only thing they had come up with, was your disease." she informed him quietly and let the bottle of water on the ground. "As much as unbelievable and crazy it might sound, I was glad you were with another woman than dying, back then." she completed with sadness. She had overcome herself once more with that confession, like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders.
"I'm sorry." Tony didn't know what else to say because he was completely surprised by her words. He had never believed that Ziva would have felt for him like that. "I should have-"
"You don't have to." Ziva assured him. "It is not that I gave you the reason to believe something different. Only few times of jealousy but not enough to make you believe that I had feelings for you." she added. "Besides, you were in love with Jeanne."
"I loved Jeanne there was no question about that, but for some reason I didn't fight for her. I didn't want to fight for her." his words were honest and stable without hints of hesitation and evasion. "And I know what you might think. That I was scared that it wouldn't have worked because of the lies." Tony halted and dropped his gaze on the ground for a while before continuing. "But it wasn't that. I didn't love her as much as I thought." he blurted out. "I wouldn't have told her 'I love you' if she hadn't in a way played on me to do it, if Paula hadn't died back then. But with you it was different. It seemed to me so easy to tell you those three little words when I finally had the guts." he joked still not looking at his fiancée. "Besides as you know very well, I could live without her, unlike you." he returned his gaze back to Ziva. The woman remained silent focused her eyes on his because she knew they were more. "Like I had told you back then, when you had misunderstood Jeanne's kiss on my cheek." he went on. "She wasn't you and she could have never compared to you." he caressed with the knuckles of his right hand her cheek.
"I love you too." Ziva's smile was genuine, bright. She was aware of that his words that moment were the alternative way to tell her that he loved her. He had done it before when he had told her the story about the Moon and the Earth in Israel.
She was really happy. If she had known that she would have been so much happy with Tony she would have tried to be him earlier, she would have had the guts, to express her feelings earlier. If she had the willing, the courage, things might have been different. She wouldn't have stayed in Israel in the first place if she had the power in her soul to do that earlier. Somalia wouldn't have happened, even Jeanne wouldn't have happened. She had been coward, they both had been coward, however there was no way back. From that moment they had to look in the present and future. The previous night along with that day and the days and nights that they were going to follow, were steps forward in the direction that they both wanted; To be honest to each other so their marriage would be healthy without even the tiniest secrets and lies of the past overshadowing them.
"Do you want us to do something else?" Tony snapped Ziva out her thoughts. Although they were less than 2 hours in the park he was afraid, he was worrying that Ziva probably had bored already. She had been negative for their ride over there in the first place so he couldn't think of it otherwise.
"No." Ziva gave him a wider smile. "Do you? I do not want you get bored of me." she laughed and propped herself up on one elbow the ground resting her head on her hand.
Tony shuffled closer to her. "You are the only woman I haven't bored with. Whenever I'm with you or whatever I'm doing with you, it's pleasure unlike the other women in my life."
"It is normal to get bored of your nightstands, Tony. I'm sure it was not applying on the serious relationships you had." Ziva remarked twirling a piece of her hair with her finger.
Tony positioned his body similar to Ziva's. "Actually it was." he revealed and Ziva raised a questioning eyebrow in Tony's statement. "I mean sometimes I'm looking back in the past and I had never felt so content doing 'couple of things' with the women of my life."
"Not even Wendy?" Ziva wondered intrigued on what her fiancé was saying. They had never been so opened considering their former relationships. They had talked about them, but not in detail and that moment had come up a good chance for doing it,
Tony shook his head. "No. Wendy and I barely did things together." he began. "At least we didn't do things like you and I do, sitting on the grass eating sandwich for example." he tried to become more specific.
"And why is that?" Ziva sat up confused from what Tony was saying.
"She believed that kind of things were inappropriate." Tony explained with a frown. "She always insisted for us having dinner on fancy restaurants. I completely begged her once for us to go for pizza with Danny when we were still in relationship." he told with sadness.
"She was an idiot." Ziva replied with anger. "I'm not very experienced on long term relationships but if you want a relationship work you have to care more for your partner's needs than yours."
She knew her approach on that topic might hurt Tony. Wendy was huge and important chapter in his life but after Tony had told her all those things, she didn't regret the words that came out her mouth. Ziva had understood how much egotist Wendy was, when she had met her once on a case. She was claiming that Tony loved only himself accusing him as selfish but she also wanted to have claim on him after dumping him at the altar two decades ago. "But her loss, is my win."
"Gain." Tony corrected and Ziva smirked. "You said it wrong on purpose, didn't you?" he asked with a hint of suspicion and pulled himself into a sitting position.
The only thing that Ziva did was to look at him with a lustful twinkle in her eyes. She wanted him desperately. She had made him her intentions known from the morning after McGee's phone call and few moments before they decide for that walk, as she tried to undress him. Ziva approached so close on Tony's face her lips few inches away from his just like they had been before Matty interrupted them. "What about Jeanne?" her question shocked Tony few milliseconds before he kissed her.
He knew Ziva was a master on ruining moments but he couldn't believe that she was so cruel some times. He was ready to kiss her, to devour her in public but she managed to turn him off completely uttering his ex's girlfriend name the most catalytic moment.
Tony pulled away, barking a sarcastic laugh. "Jeanne." he repeated with an awkward smile that indicated how uncomfortable he was with Ziva's question. "Jeanne. Jeanne. You know what happened with Jeanne."
"And you know what I mean." The way Ziva answered to him, reminded him the playful, the lustful way she had spoken to him the first time they had met. The look in her eyes, the moves of her body, her tone of her voice were exact the same like 11 years ago. Tony couldn't help but have the same feelings he had back then: unconditionally lust, desire and need for her.
"Well, Jeanne and I were doing 'couple things.'" he started leaning back to his elbows. "But not so much outdoors, you know because of the mission." he elucidated.
"But you were having dinners, right?" Ziva lied down on the ground again resting her head on her fist.
Tony nodded. "We had some dinners on fancy restaurants and NOT because she demanded it."
Although he and the young Doctor hadn't broken up in good terms he couldn't lie about her behavior which was decorous during their relationship. He knew that those words would probably upset Ziva but it was the truth after all, and he wanted to be honest with her.
"We were watching movies, we were going for in-door climbing but…" he trailed off frowning the moment that all those memories came back. He would have lied if he had said that whatever happened back didn't hurt him. But what had upset him during the current conversation was the fact he had to reveal the emotions he had had when he was having that kind of life back then.
"But?" Ziva knew that probably wasn't too wise to push him because he would put his shields up again. However, her curiosity couldn't cease. She wondered if Tony stopped his speech because he was going to say something unpleasant to her about him and Jeanne but then she reconsidered her perspective. The word Tony had uttered before halting indicated that it had to do with something not so pleasant on his relationship with the young doctor.
"I wasn't feeling content." Tony added simply almost as it was something normal. "I had never felt content. And I know you might say…" he managed to prevent Ziva from interrupting him as he realized from the grimace on her face what she was going to do. "I wasn't feeling like that because that relationship had started as a mission. It wasn't that." he explained and took a chug of water. "I didn't' feel content and they were times I was questioning myself if it was because…" it was the second time he hesitated during his chat with Ziva. He really wanted to get it out of his chest but Ziva's possible reaction terrified him. He would have proved to her but most of all, to himself that he was a coward for not revealing his true feelings back then.
"Because of what?" Ziva had to push him a little more, although she knew he would probably afraid and return back on his shell. Ziva waited with endurance his reply. She could detect the hesitation on him which had caused by her question.
"Because I was thinking how things would have been, what kind of feelings I would have had if I was doing those things with you."
Ziva couldn't tear her eyes away from him. His words, his confession had let her completely speechless. She tried to utter one word as an answer to him but nothing came out. The only thing she had the ability to do was to open and close her mouth, a stare full of shock and awe.
"Because I loved you." Tony's words came out of his mouth without any second thought. "I loved you even back then. That's why I didn't accept the position to Rota. That's why…" he let a shaky breath. "That's why I chose you over Jeanne."
"Tony you chose NCIS ov-"
"I chose NCIS because of you." Tony corrected her immediately. "Leaving NCIS would have been like leaving you. And only at the thought…" his voice croaked out so soft that the last four words almost weren't heard by Ziva. "I had told you that it was the summer that Vance had split us when I understood that I loved you but…but now when I'm thinking sometimes what happened back then, I'm starting to realize that it was then, when I realized I loved you." he completed whispering.
Tony's words knocked Ziva off her feet. All the people in her life weren't completely honest with her, especially men but Tony wasn't hesitating to bare his soul to her. They had said lies over the past years and she was grateful that they managed to be open between them. Out of nowhere Ziva draped her arms around Tony's neck crashing her lips on his. It was her way to thank him for his honesty, his words, his love. The woman placed her hands behind Tony's head deepening the kiss as much as she could. The taste that his kiss had was always sending her on another dimension. Tony responded on Ziva's kiss with the passion she had, feeling her hand roam over his neck. As much as enjoyable was for both of them, they had to break the kiss as the air had become needed in their lungs. Tony rested his forehead against Ziva's peering at her.
"What was that for?" Tony asked with a slight smile.
"So I will give you reason, an encouragement to go on." Ziva whispered with a naughty gleam in her eyes and pulled away from him sitting back on the ground.
Tony barked a sarcastic laugh once more just like he had done earlier when Ziva had mentioned Jeanne. He couldn't believe how easily she could drive him crazy, how easily she could take anything from him, how easily he would everything for her. The man leaned forward so he could have a better look of Ziva.
"Well, Zoe…"
"Zoe?" the incredulity and confusion on Ziva's question intrigued Tony's curiosity. He didn't know why the tone of her voice was so surprised and blunt like she had heard that name for the first time. "What about EJ?" she asked additional. Ziva found odd that Tony didn't mention the former Rota Team Leader. She was the first woman who stepped into Tony's apartment and they had relationship for quite time. It seemed improbable to Israeli woman that Tony and EJ didn't do 'couple things'.
"No." it was his one word answer to her and Ziva's eyes widened. As much as crazy and unbelievable it sounded he never considered him and EJ as couple. There wasn't any commitment between them but an agreement for physical release whenever they needed it, for as long as it lasted.
"You are kidding, are you not?" The disbelief in her tone had been detectable by Tony. "You had stood up to Gibbs for her." Tony had no idea why he had given that kind of impression to Ziva that he was serious for his involvement with the blond woman. He thought, he believed that Ziva knew the real cause of being with EJ. However, doing that conversation Tony understood how Ziva had misapprehended the whole situation.
"You know very well the purpose of that…" he trailed off trying to find the right words that could define the status he had back then with EJ. "Of what I had with EJ. It was only physical pleasure, to find carnal satisfaction. A way for me to stop feeling lonely." each word from the last sentence was sank to a whisper. He didn't intend to reveal his feelings that time. How lonely and sad he had felt knowing that Ziva had moved on with other man. He didn't know details of her relationship with the unknown to him back then Mr. Miami, but it was obvious that the particular man meant a lot to Ziva. That's why he turned to E.J. immediately without second thought. Because like he had told to Ziva back then, it worked easily. No commitment, no heartbreaking, only casual, occasional sex.
"And Amanda?" Ziva kept pushing him so she would learn more.
Tony rolled his eyes for once more. "I had not even slept with her, you know that, much more to do 'couple things' with her. Sometimes we had dinners and movies" he explained. "And couple of kisses." he added. "Nothing more."
"Let us say I believe you." she was intentional playful because she distinguished the seriousness on him as he was talking about the events with E.J. Tony couldn't help but smile on Ziva and the cute face she had that moment. She knew he was feeling uncomfortable and she was trying through teasing once more to cheer him up. "What about Zoe?" Ziva mentioned the woman's name, so they could go back on what originally Tony wanted to say.
"You know my relationship with Zoe at least the most important stuff." Ziva had never seen his face so sulky like the particular moment when he started describing the time he spent with the ATF Agent.
"But I do not know the things you did with her." she leaned closer to him and wove her fingers on his, so she could give him encouragement. She had given him a hard time the last one month because of his history with Zoe. Her egoism, stubbornness but most of all her fear that she might get hurt by Tony again, made her not to think straight. She didn't let him to talk to her, to defend himself properly and that was probably the reason he was hesitating. "Tony you can tell me." she squeezed with her free hand Tony's shoulder to give him more confidence.
"I was doing things with Zoe but…" he was lost in his thoughts one more time just it had happened with Jeanne.
"What Tony?" Ziva really worried about the way Tony was talking, the difficulty he had to open up at the beginning, so he would start bubbling afterwards.
"I didn't feel content." Tony defined. "When I was with Zoe I had the similar feeling that I had when I was with Jeanne." he tried to become more specific. "But I wanted to work, you know, I wanted to move on." Tony knew that his words might be painful to her but unfortunately that was the truth. Although he had a slight hope to his heart that Ziva might come back, his mind was always telling him that it might not be possible after all. He had to move on, to have a new beginning in his life even if it wasn't with Ziva.
"Even your engagement?" Ziva's question caught Tony's attention. She wasn't hurt from what Tony said, she didn't misunderstand his words. When she had come back to D.C. she was aware of that he probably had move on. She was prepared for that possibility, but she didn't expect that Tony would have hidden it from her. "What I'm trying to say is was your engagement a way to make it work with Zoe?"
Tony looked at her deep into Ziva's eyes with interest. He had never thought that potentiality. He always believed, well, he had convinced himself that all of that was the brainwashing that Gibbs and Abby had done to him. That Zoe was the right woman for him to change; to go on his life on something more, even their relationship had the ups and downs. But with Ziva's question made him think that maybe subconsciously that was the real reason of his proposal to the ATF Agent. He wanted to make it work so badly that he followed blindly Gibbs' and Abby's suggestion.
"Maybe." Tony gave the only answer that he could consider as honest. "Probably. But to answer your original question, I didn't enjoy daily things with her. Dinner, shooting sessions in the shooting range, baking bread sometimes at weeke-"
"Wait!" Ziva halted him. Did Tony just say what she had just heard? Tony was baking bread with Zoe? The ultimate cocky playboy, the womanizer was a home bread maker? "Did you just say you and Zoe were baking bread together? The one where you take the flour with water and mix them?" she still couldn't believe Tony's statement considering that activity he had with the ATF Agent. "And then you knead the dough?"
Tony rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ziva that one." The annoyance was clear on him; on his voice, on his body language, the look into his eyes. He had regretted his words the moment his tongue slipped them. Ziva would use it in the first chance she'd have if she wanted to reside him.
"What about dinners, the shooting sessions?" Ziva was shocked by his revelation about him making bread with Zoe. However, she changed subject. She had detected Tony's disturbance because of her questions, as he probably considered them as ironic. "As far as I know you are enjoying shooting sessions with me." She had the impression that Tony loved that activity. For them it was one of the ways of relaxations when they had a difficult case and they couldn't do something outside HQ's, with Tony never complaining about it. His confession though made her reconsider that she had thought about the stuff they were doing together. "Or not?" she added. She needed a clarification. She didn't care if Tony's response was positive or negative as long as it was an honest.
"I'm enjoying the shooting sessions with you but with Zoe was different. Everything was different. I made things with her but there were times I felt they were pointless. That what I was doing was pointless." Tony explained. "I was staying on a relationship, I got engaged and I was trying to make work it, even if I knew it was doomed from the beginning." he exclaimed. "I was an idiot." he concluded more quietly rubbing his forehead nervously.
"No you were not." Ziva disagreed not taking her eyes from Tony. "If anything, your struggle to keep your relationship with Zoe was good for you. It taught you not to give up trying on your relationships, not to give up on us." She had to admit that Tony's involvement with Keates had matured him. Tony's efforts and insistence were that kept them together in many occasions with apex their separation one month ago. Although, Tony seemed that he had given up, in reality he kept fighting for her until the eleventh hour.
"Really?" Tony;s question was full of surprise. He didn't except that kind prospective by Ziva's behalf, considering the events that followed after Zoe appeared. "Do you really mean that?" he had to be sure that whatever he heard moments ago wasn't a hallucination that the words from Ziva's mouth were not interpreted wrong by him.
"Yes I do." Ziva answered and let his hand so she would grab the bottle of water. "Like I told you before what upset me, was not so much the fact that you tried to move on but the fact of how you handled the whole situation with Zoe into our relationship." she opened the bottle and drunk some water. "Both before and after she reappeared." she twisted the lid onto the bottle sealing it. "But let us not go back on that conversation once more, please." One more conversation about that matter was unnecessary. The only things that it could cause were more awkwardness and hurt to both her and Tony. They had agreed not to discuss it further and she really wanted to keep that promise.
"What about your relationships?" Tony asked. "How was the daily routine with your boyfriends? Did you enjoy the 'couple things' with them?" It had been difficult for Ziva to hear all those revelations by him, he was sure of that, because he would have felt the same the moment she would start talking; inconvenience and discomfort especially when conversation had to come on Rivkin and Ray. He had interacted with them during their relationships with Ziva unlike her, with his girlfriends. She had interacted with those women after a long time after those particular relationships had come already to an end.
Ziva didn't know what to say, not because she hadn't had the answers on Tony's questions. If anything, she was completely aware of her responses but she didn't know how Tony would react to them. She was experienced on the sexual section, but not when it came to commitment. Ziva breathed deeply trying to give herself the encouragement she needed so she would talk.
"Well Ray-"
"Whoa!" he didn't let her to say more. "Ray?" Tony knew pretty well Ziva had more than one serious relationships and that Ray wasn't the first man she had involved in such way. He had met Rivkin and despite Ziva's insurance that she had never loved the Mossad Officer, the SFA was cognizant of the fact that she had emotionally invested on her countryman. "Rivkin? Locke? You-"
"Locke was a fling." Ziva defended hoarsely. "Just one-night stand." She couldn't understand why Tony was going back in time on that particular era. They were supposed of talking of serious relationships and 'couple things' they were doing on them not for one-night stands and flings in their lives. "He was to me what EJ was to you and-"
"But you would have wanted more with him if you had the chance to." Tony halted her once more. He wasn't blind back then, but most of all he wasn't stupid. The passion that Ziva had while she was defending the man's innocence revealed the intentions she had for him. He would have never done it for either of his flings. He would have never done it for Brenda Bittner, for LeiaPendergast, or Amanda. And the fact he saved E.J.'s ass twice, it was because was his duty, the first time as an Agent and the second time as a friend.
"Yes." There wasn't any reason for her to keep lying. "I wanted to be with him, and…" she uttered a deep sigh and lowered her head remembering the fiasco with Michael Locke. She wanted that permanent in her life even back then and she wanted to be with Tony. But the whole mess with Jeanne was still fresh. Tony was still hurt with the way things ended up between him and the doctor, she could see it in his eyes, or at least it was what she had thought. And then Locke appeared, a man who caught her attention but their brief involvement ended unluckily. "And I will not deny that my heart broke when he preferred to call Devon, his ex-girlfriend, than being with me." the pain was obvious in her voice and Tony was certain that the same feeling had morphed on her face while she was still looking on the ground. "But it would not have worked anyway." she commented casually wanting to defuse the awkwardness that her confession had caused.
"Why?" it was Tony's turn to ask. He was hurt that Ziva chose a stranger back then over him. However, going back to his memory back everything made sense. He had just broken up with Jeanne and maybe, maybe he had sent her wrong signs; even if he loved Ziva back then, even if he wanted her back then. "Why Ziva?" he questioned again. He could detect the sureness of her last sentence and he wanted to find out from where it had come from. "What did make you so sure that it wouldn't have worked between you and him?" it wasn't long enough he saw Ziva's head raising with the woman biting her lower lip. "Why?" Tony leaned over close to Ziva, his lips inches away from hers. She could feel his hot breath on her lips, on her cheek. And that was enough for her to make her horny. So horny that she wanted to kiss him desperately for once more, that day. To take him once more that day right there without second thought.
"He was not you." her almost quiet answer was intentional. She had a reason of doing that. If she hadn't said those words she would have done her thoughts reality. Thoughts that also Tony had on his mind; because she could see it in his eyes; he wanted her badly. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.
"You…I-" Tony pulled away from her with a disbelieving look. She had told him that she loved him back then but he had no idea that she was comparing him with the men she had on her life.
"It is okay that you cannot find words to answer, Tony. Locke was not you." she repeated so he could digest the information she gave him before. "Rivkin was not you."
It was a matter of time the Rivkin topic to be addressed. He was the one who mentioned that name after all. But still, it was difficult for him; it hurt him, considering the aftermath of the events at Ziva's apartment. It was so difficult topic that the slightest reference on that issue was a stab through his chest.
"I never loved him." she had told that to Tony more than once. Whenever the deceased Mossad Officer was coming up as a part of discussion, Ziva made sure to remind that statement of hers on him. "He was a comfort in Israel when Vance had split the team, a way to spite you for not calling me at all, that summer." Tony remained silent keeping the same expression on his face, the one he had while Ziva was talking to him about Locke. "He was a way of release and entertainment during the mission on Marocco, a way to keep ties with Israel when I returned back to D.C.; A way to satisfy my physical needs." They weren't some lame excuses to justify herself, but truths and actions that were showing her feelings back then. "You know every time I slept with him I was staying awake in his arms wondering." Tony swallowed hard. He didn't want to know personal details of Ziva's time with Rivkin. It was difficult enough for him to have a conversation about Rivkin much more to have knowledge of the imitate moments that he had with Ziva. "I was wondering what kind of feeling I would have had if Michael's touches, kisses on my body had been yours. And…and how much stupid I was, for being with him on that bed instead of you." Ziva told and twisted her fingers making Tony shiver. "I was thinking of it every time, just like I had done the last time that Michael and I had slept together few hours before the incident between you and him in my apartment." Tony's gut twisted hearing Ziva's monologue, especially what she had told him about her and that man few hours before his death. "And I know in Israel I had implied that I loved him but...but it was because I was out of control, because of my anger. I never loved him, much more to do 'couple things' with him."
"So Ray." Tony had taken the answers he wanted. Well not the kinds of he had really expected, but at least his queries considering Locke and Rivkin were settled.
Ziva nodded. "He was funny, and he was cherishing me, from the first moment we had become a couple, two days after we met each other." It was fast, but she knew what she was doing. She had believed that Ray would have given to her that Tony wouldn't. "We were going swimming the day, the hours when I wasn't working on the Reynosa case, and we were having dinner every night." Tony's anger turned his face to red. Another man had the pleasure to make Ziva laugh, to feel special because he preferred to be a Saint Bernard to Gibbs. Because he was afraid to break rule #12 when it came to Ziva and preferred to spend his time on useless one-night stands and dates. "On our third date it was the first time I had stayed at his apartment at night. After that, I had practically moved in with him. I was going in my hotel room only to change clothes." Ziva could see Tony's anger to boil over of him. It was difficult for him to hear that kind of details about her relationship with the CIA Agent but it was necessary for him to know considering the discussion they were having. "But he never…we never…" she didn't have to complete what she was saying because it was clear to Tony what she meant. She had told him after all that she hadn't had carnal knowledge of Ray. Angelina had told him too. Truth be told, deep down he was feeling a little proud of himself that he was the first and last man at the same time that Ziva had trusted for that kind of activity after Somalia. "And you know what was happening afterwards; Phones calls, e-mails, dinners and trips whenever he could."
"The opera in New York?"
Ziva nodded. "Yes, and some weekends when we were not on call." she went on simply.
"So…" Tony didn't know how to phrase the sentence not because he had no words, but because he was scared what kind of answer Ziva would give him."In other words you felt…you…" the scenario that another man could make Ziva feel content made him feel a slice of pain in his heart.
"I did not feel content…" she knew what he insinuated. She knew him to well to understand how much discomfort he had that she was having fun with Ray, that there was another man who could possibly make her happy and not him. "You can never feel content when there is no love. You know," she tousled her hair briefly. "Back then I told you that I got engaged to Ray because I did not want to live with regrets and…" she shifted her eyes down and then back up again meeting his gaze. "But I would have also had regrets if I had not returned to you, my only love."
"I love you, Ziva." Tony cracked a smile his look in his eyes speaking volumes. Ziva's words made him the happiest man on the Earth. She loved him and no-one, no-one could compare to him, so and the feelings she had for him.
"I love you too." Ziva slipped her arms around Tony's neck, and rested her head on his chest over his heart. She loved his scent, his embrace. For her, Tony's arms were the safest place she ever had in her life. "Tony." his name was muffled in his shirt. The cologne that Tony was wearing had become narcotic to her, which revived her soul and the body humming with desire.
"Yeah?" Tony questioned and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't believe how he had missed that smell of the jasmine and vanilla shampoo during that month; A smell that was sending him on the heaven, on exotic places where he could feel Peace, humming both the soul and the body with desire.
"Were you wearing an apron while you were baking bread with Zoe?" She didn't want to tease him about that so soon, but the electrified atmosphere had to be defused.
Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing and on a record time he pulled away from Ziva once more, looking at her astonished. He was aware of the moment he revealed that snippet of his common life Zoe that it was a matter of time for Ziva to start teasing him.
"Are you laughing at me?" he was joking, he wasn't serious. He really wanted to see her dumbfounded reaction watching his sulky face.
"I'm not laughing at you." Ziva tried to keep her laugh at bay but without success. She burst into laughter so loudly. Only at the thought of her fiancé wearing the particular outfit her laugh was out of control.
"Are you laughing at me?" Tony managed to keep the tone of his voice and the frown of his face as exact the same as before.
"I-" she couldn't voice a word much more a sentence.
"You are laughing at me and I'm going to punish you." the hint of teasing was obvious while he was talking. Tony approached Ziva and catching her completely off guard, he started tickling her belly.
"Please do not!" Ziva begged between giggles trying to prevent Tony's tickle assault. However, deep down she loved Tony's touch, so much that even that childish action made her all body shiver from desire and need for him.
Tony didn't obey Ziva's begs and strained the activity of tickling. He knew Ziva very well to understand that she loved what he was doing to her, what kind of affect his touch had on her. The struggle between the couple was forceful that Tony pushed Ziva down on the ground and both burst out laughing.
"I love you." Tony told her out of breath being already on top of her and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't have the ability to respond. The struggle with Tony along with the contact she had with him that moment let her breathless. The only thing she could manage to do was to grab his head and give him a hungry, passionate kiss.
"It won't like this to the boss." Chris lowered his camera sighing after took Tony's and Ziva's pose to a snapshot. Few weeks ago he had found out that the couple had broken up something that it had pleased his assigner one week ago when he heard the news. But the new development had changed the current situation and probably a possible change of his current orders. Chris sighed once more. He really didn't know how to announce the news. When it came to the particular woman the man who ordered the surveillance could become obsessed; so obsessed that it could easily lead him on self distraction.
When they had decided to come back home, the night had already fallen. The hours they had spent on that park talking, laughing, teasing, kissing each other, seemed to them only few moments of fun. They would have a difficult morning at the office the next day and a group shower would relax them as they were weary both body and mind. The slow kisses, touches and love making under the falling water, showed the tenderness to each other. Ziva bathed Tony and he returned the favor. He loved washing her hair and she adored the way he was treating her, like she was precious, fragile. He dried her trailing kisses on her neck, her shoulders wherever he could kiss her body. He didn't work on her hair on drying it, but he left the bathroom. She had a special way on making her hair curly, the way he liked it, and tonight she knew he would love her have it like that.
Tony was already in bed and when he saw Ziva exit the bathroom drying her hair with the towel smiling, he couldn't anything else but to smile back at her. He couldn't wait to take her into his arms. Although, he had spent the whole night before and the current day with her in the park, still he couldn't get enough of her. The one month were apart was a living hell, it was a separation that almost killed him, just like Ziva's leaving 3 years ago. Ziva lay on Tony's shoulder was sitting on bed. He wrapped his one arm around her, making Ziva snuggle close to his body burying her face on the crook of his neck. He loved how much cozy they were as her head was tucked into his shoulder, while her hand was resting over his chest. It felt so natural. How he had missed it all that month. Tony opened the first drawer of his night stand and took the book that both he and Ziva loved. He opened it on the chapter 21 and started reading it on the part they had left it one day before Zoe appeared, one day before their lives turned upside down.
"And he went back to meet the fox." Tony started reading the continuation of the 21st chapter from the Little Prince keeping his arm wrapped around Ziva.
Ziva also turned her attention to the book. "'Goodbye,' he said." she continued to read through the book and placed a kiss on Tony's chest over his heart. She had missed that intimacy she had with him, his warm body against hers, his hot breath on her skin. She had missed him.
"'Goodbye,' said the fox." Tony said. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.'" he went on and kissed tenderly Ziva's crown.
Ziva smiled. How much she had missed his kiss, his touch and all of this because of her stubbornness her selfishness. She would have lost him and only because of her. Ziva shut her eyes running her hand on Tony's cheek before it rested on his chest again. The way his stubble scratched her, made her remember that day in Israel; When Tony had asked her to come back to D.C. with him and the night before when they became a couple again; the way his stubble felt against her skin while he was making love to her. "'What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember." Ziva quoted without looking into the book. She knew that part of the chapter by heart. She would never forget the day that Tony had showed her his mother's picture. She would never forget his confession about that movie and how much it had marked his life. The fact that it was his favorite, movie, the fact that it was the last movie he had seen with his mother before she died.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important." Tony kept reading. He had revealed to Ziva earlier that she was the only woman that he loved doing things with her. No-one woman had inspired him, not even Wendy. Every woman had involved with him, seemed to be distant from that kind of intimacy. He tried multiple times with Jeanne but it didn't work out. It simply didn't seem right. As for Zoe, well, he did some things with her, but still he didn't feel content. As he much as he tried to create bonds with her through simple daily moments he couldn't. She wasn't Ziva, and moments like that, being lying on the bed reading that book with the woman of his life into his arms was a living proof.
"'It is the time I have wasted for my rose-" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.'" Ziva spoke the next line of the book. She kept her eyes shut and rubbed with her thumb over his shirt the three well healed scars that Tony got from Henderson s shooting.
"'Men have forgotten this truth,' said the fox. 'But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose ...'" Tony told and felt his heart rate speeding the moment he felt Ziva's touch over his heart. She was everything to him and he would make sure to have that touch, that woman next to him for the rest of his life no matter what.
Ziva opened her eyes, sat and raised her head looking at him directly on his eyes. "'I am responsible for my rose,' the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember." she swallowed hard a lump to her throat while she was uttering the last sentence. Tony smiled slightly and bent to kiss her. "Goodnight, my love." Ziva murmured after they broke the kiss and lay her head down on his chest over his heart for once more.
Tony placed the book on his nightstand. "Goodnight." her turned the light off kissing her quickly and closed his eyes to sleep.
Well, I tried to explain some plot holes through the seasons from my prospective in this chapter.
Anyway, the scene with Tony and Ziva reading a book on the bed is inspired by my favorite Greek show 'Vera sto Dexi' where Regina and Stratos were reading Romeo and Juliet instead of Little Prince
Thank you for reading and PLEASE REVIEW so you would let me know what you think and encourage me to continue writing. And remember: You can always contact with me and express your opinion about my Author's Note through PM or my Twitter Account. ( hellaslar), having as only request the reviews will be only for the storyline.
