"Happily Never After"
Once again I'm absolutely astounded by the support of this lil fic! I know I say it all the time but thank you!
Tubs - You sure as hell have been faithful readers/reviewers so there might indeed be a small treat in store for you here and maybe in the future...
Funkyshaz - Well we'll see if you're right on your guesses but I can promise you - happiness IS in the near future for CJ! You just got to hold on a lil bit longer...
Bethers - But tormenting is what I do best? Ahem sorry I mean it's the only style of writing I know how to do well so you keep coming back for more!
Kirsty - Glad you can admit you are looking forward to this one. More twists instore before the reunion? You never know with me...oh hell course you do!
JSCO - No I can't stop with the torturous cliff hangers - it's like an addiction! Do they have AA meetings for this? LOL haha!
KimmyLove - Sorry for the tears :) *Cutebabe passes KimmyLove a belated tissue :) Some mercy you say...
Lil - WOO HOO! No hatred of Joey lately! Well how times have changed!
Oniz - Thanks for both your reviews on the flashback chapters! Has the flashback really come at the right time or is there another use for it...? The countdown is certainly on for the pair to make their decison!
CJeva - Yes a lil begging is allowed and I'm glad you still wish for CJ to get a happy ending! Well since you asked for 'all CJ fans'...maybe I'll relent soon...
LFTD - Thanks so much for catching up! Hope you had a good holiday! You can never say you love this fic too much! Unpredictable you say...who me? Never lol!
Kirky - Enjoy this one!
So whose about to make a move? Keep reading to find out!
Chapter Fifty-One
Present Day – May 2015
Charlie could sense the tears running down Joey's cheeks and she too had her eyes brimming with tears, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I had no idea how much that hurt you nearly losing me like that." Joey continued gripping tightly on Charlie's shoulders, afraid of letting go, "It was awful…the whole time I kept thinking about what life would be like without you…and I didn't want to live in a world without you in it. You saved us both by surviving…even now…I can't imagine my life without you."
Charlie disentangled their hands from her shoulder, "I'll think about quitting my job okay…if it hurts you that much…being so worried about me. I just…I'd like to figure out what else I can do with my life…before I consider quitting. Until I do…I'll continue just being on desk duty only. Can you wait for that?" Joey nodded, sniffling, "Of course I'll wait…and whatever you do next…you'll be brilliant at it. Though now I'm feeling a little guilty…for asking this of you…when you don't owe me anything."
Charlie shrugged softly, "This is for Riley as much as it is for you. Hope he doesn't see this as a reason not to follow his own dreams. And if it's also okay with you…I might wait until I've made any real decisions before I tell him." Joey tried to smile through the tears, "Anything you want."
"You had a really hard time going through all that…thinking that you lost me…didn't you? I can't believe you never told me all this," Charlie whispered. Joey sighed, "Well I guess by the time we got you home all we were concerned about was getting you better." Charlie smiled, "That was a good time when I did get home wasn't it?" Joey rolled her eyes, "You say that now. Two weeks of strict bed rest and you nearly killed the rest of us with your complaining."
Charlie breathed deeply, "Okay so it wasn't all great…but we did get to spend all of Christmas Day in bed together. Best Christmas ever." "Yeah it was," Joey agreed, "We spent the whole day lying in each other's arms…just talking about what we were gonna do in the future. All the holidays we'd take, the things we wanted to do, all the plans we had for raising Riley…I don't think I'll ever have such a great Christmas again."
Charlie was touched by Joey's admission, then suddenly noticed that Joey had continued stroking her back and massaging her shoulders. All through her story Joey's hands hadn't left Charlie's skin. Charlie couldn't remember the last time Joey had actually poured more pain reliever cream onto her hands, and realized the simple act of healing had turned into a comfortable massage. Charlie glanced up at Joey, "This is nice. The massage…I can't remember the last time you did this."
Joey chewed on her lip, "Hmm 'bout eighteen months now. I miss this too. So does this mean once I'm done with you I get a foot massage?" Charlie chuckled, "No way. This is you helping me with my injury. I never agreed to a foot massage."
Joey grinned, "Aw c'mon it's like our…silent arrangement. I remember all the times you would come home from work, you'd give me a foot massage for being on my feet all day on the trawler or looking after Ry and I'd give you a shoulder massage. Then of course we'd end up all naked together on the couch or the bed if we made it that far…" Joey blushed deeply and cleared her throat, "Um…I just meant…"
Charlie's cheeks turned bright red as she recalled their unwritten ritual, "You just meant…that it's nice that we can still do these kinds of things for each other. The massages I mean! Not the…nakedness part…I just meant the…massages…and I'm gonna shut up now before you…get the wrong…idea." Joey leant forwards and placed her mouth by Charlie's ear, her hands still stroking Charlie's back, "I know what you meant."
Charlie tapped her left hand gingerly against her knee, as she enjoyed the sensation of Joey's fingers against her back. Joey smiled gently as she stared down and observed Charlie's uneasiness, hoping there was a reason behind it. Joey's smile suddenly faulted as she looked closely at Charlie's hand.
Joey blinked back a small tear that welled up in her eye, "Where's your wedding ring?" Charlie frowned and squeezed her hand into a fist, "Uh…it kinda slipped off my finger this morning when I was putting some moisturiser on my hands. I didn't really know if…I should put it back on…so I left it on top of my bedside table…so I can think about what I want to do with it."
Joey swallowed deeply as she felt the full emotions of what Charlie was trying to decide, "Do you want to put it back on?" Charlie shrugged slightly as she uncurled her hand and stared down at her bare finger, "You know…it doesn't feel quite as weird as I thought it would be without it. It's strange not wearing it…guess I thought it would feel like I'd lost a part of myself if I ever took it off."
"And you don't…feel like you've lost a part of yourself?" Joey asked miserably. Charlie sighed gently, "I'm still waiting for that part to hit me when I least expect it I guess. Guess you know what's it like…when you decided to take yours off." Joey nodded gently, "Yeah well…maybe it was a decision I rushed without thinking about what I was doing. Don't do the same thing…okay?"
Charlie creased her eyebrow at Joey's request, "I wasn't going to rush this decision…but I can't exactly keep wearing it forever can I?" Joey bit down hard on her lip, knowing that she had a chance here to tell Charlie why she should put her wedding ring back on. She grimaced hard as she couldn't find her voice to tell Charlie that she didn't want Charlie to give up hope for them.
Charlie sighed gently as Joey remained silent. She silently closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to accept that she'd made the right decision by taking her ring off if Joey couldn't find a way to convince her there was a reason to keep it on.
Joey once again blinked back tears at her cowardice, and the only thing she felt she could do was refuse to let Charlie go. She held on tighter to Charlie's shoulders and continued rubbing her palms and fingers against them, hoping Charlie could find some comfort in her actions. While she couldn't yet find the words, she prayed Charlie knew what she was feeling just by her actions of being unable to let her go.
But Charlie was beginning to feel more than relaxed and comforted by Joey's massage. Charlie could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, silently hoping that was the only place it was rising. Charlie could feel Joey's hot breath against her neck when she spoke to her, and she swallowed deeply. Joey's fingers glided up to Charlie's shoulders and her massage was becoming increasingly slow.
Charlie glanced down at the floor, trying to ignore the feelings she was having, "So…uh…you're right…I should…start giving you that foot massage now." Joey smirked as she observed Charlie's action of clasping her hands together tightly in front of her, "Hmm…not quite yet…I'm not done with you…your back massage yet. There's still a few…kinks I need to…rub out."
Charlie gritted her teeth together tightly. She didn't want to admit it but Joey's massage was making her feel…hot. Joey had talented fingers and it was one of the reasons she loved Joey giving her massages. Joey always knew where to touch her to make her feel relaxed…and turned on all in one go.
It was part of the reason their unwritten ritual had turned into more of a torture match. It had began shortly after they had rekindled their romance when Joey returned from her long-haul trawler job and while they had strived to avoid times when Ruby was likely to come home or they had their son to take care of, it meant it had become something less frequent but made it all the more enjoyable.
Joey's hands would always stroke Charlie's body in just the right way and Charlie always teased Joey by extending her foot massage up to her thighs. They loved trying to torture the other woman just enough until one of them gave in and begged for them to make love to each other.
Charlie was beginning to forget where she was, all she could think about was Joey's hands rubbing against her body as she recalled all their intimate moments that occurred from such a gesture. She could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as the rest of her body shook gently from excitement. Her face was completely flushed and she unclasped her hands and started wiping the sweat from them on her pants. Closing her eyes, Charlie lost herself in the sensations she was unable to evade.
Joey was still seated behind Charlie but was leaning over just enough to witness the effect she was having on Charlie. Reminiscing how she almost lost her wife had left Joey with a feeling not to let Charlie go. Her hands were gently gripping Charlie's shoulders as she glided her hands across them. Joey smiled gently at her own feelings coursing through her body.
As Joey raised her hands and began massaging Charlie's neck, the sensations she felt were indescribable. It was like she was recalling all the good things about their relationship, every tender moment they had ever shared together. Joey suddenly realized she didn't want to let go of the memories she was evoking. She didn't want to let go of Charlie.
Joey felt like her hands were on fire as they gently massaged Charlie's neck, and she smirked contently when she realized Charlie's skin felt just as hot. Joey's eyes suddenly fixed on Charlie's bra straps. She blushed at the thought of slipping them off Charlie's shoulders and undoing her bra. It would only take several swift movements and she'd have more of Charlie's body to massage.
Joey was barely conscious to what she was doing. Her memories, like Charlie's, were that of the past and she was reacting on those actions. The only thing she did know was that it didn't feel wrong. It felt right to be gliding her hands over Charlie's back and shoulders and the fact that Charlie wasn't pushing her away.
Without thinking Joey leant closer against Charlie's back, her lips against Charlie's ear as she purred, "Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?"
Charlie's eyes snapped open. She gulped hard as she suddenly remembered what they were doing. Or more specifically – when. They weren't living in the past enjoying the pleasures of each other's bodies. They were separated and had made a promise to be friends with one another instead of teetering on the brink of an ugly divorce.
The feelings Charlie was experiencing as Joey continued stroking her hands along Charlie's neck and shoulders were wrong. Not wrong in the sense that she wasn't feeling completely comfortable being so close to her wife but wrong in the sense of their timing. Joey was dating another woman and Charlie was not the person Joey should be touching in such a manner.
As Joey licked her lips and tilted Charlie's head ever so slightly to the left side so she could massage her right side, Charlie had completely forgotten that Joey had asked her a question a minute ago. Her fears of what they were doing being wrong were completely washed away as she felt Joey's fingers glide around her neck and shoulders.
Charlie's eyes fluttered closed again as Joey's hands kneaded her skin delicately. She didn't see the look Joey had in her eyes, as the younger woman, leant back against Charlie's ear, "I want to make you feel better."
Before Charlie had registered what Joey had said, Joey leant forward and pressed her lips against Charlie's shoulder. Her hands slipping back to massaging Charlie's upper back, Joey gracefully placed small kisses along Charlie's left shoulder. Joey then boldly licked her tongue up against Charlie's neck and began nibbling her lips and tongue on Charlie's neck. Joey's kisses found their way just below Charlie's ear to a spot she knew her wife was most ticklish.
Charlie's eyes were still closed and her breathing became ragged as she reached her hand up and tussled it in Joey's hair, urging her to continue kissing her in her sensitive spot along her neck. Charlie struggled to keep breathing at a normal pace as she realized how turned on she was from Joey's action. This was one thing that Charlie most enjoyed about being intimate with Joey – Joey knew everyway under the sun about how to make her feel perfectly loved.
Charlie's eyes fluttered again, this time in a small panic as she once again remembered their situation. But it was too late. Joey was more than engrossed in softly kissing Charlie's neck, and Charlie was more than turned on from their embrace. As much as a part of her wanted to, Charlie couldn't stop what she did next.
Charlie moaned out loudly in pleasure, "Oh God Joey…please Jo…I need you!"
The second Charlie's moan had left her lips her eyes flung open in shock. Her feelings had been at the tip of her tongue the second Joey's hands began massaging her body but now she'd let them out and bared all to Joey by admitting she wanted her. It was one thing to keep her desires hidden while she kept her mouth gritted shut but now she felt like she'd let everything out in the open.
Some things were better left unsaid and Charlie's everlasting feelings for her wife were something Charlie wanted to keep hidden. In her mind she and Joey were over and they would never find a way to rekindle their romance. Joey had moved on and didn't return any feelings for Charlie.
Though Charlie had promised Riley that she would tell Joey about her feelings, she secretly doubted she could ever do that. The idea of receiving a final rejection and having to live with the consequences of them were too much for Charlie.
And now in a moment of weakness she'd let her burgeoning feelings for Joey spill out and she felt that there was no avoiding what she'd said. How did a simple massage turn into something so intimate? Why couldn't I keep my desires to myself? What the hell must Joey be thinking after I blurted that out?
Joey herself was also rather shaken up from Charlie's admission. Her hands had stopped stroking Charlie's shoulders and instead she held onto them gently. As much as her feelings for her wife were growing and that she had finally made an intimate move on Charlie, Joey was completely unprepared for Charlie's pleasurable moan of longing.
It had been a long time since she had heard the huskiness need in Charlie's voice. Even during the time they'd slept together four weeks ago, Charlie was far too subdued and hesitant to open up to Joey. This time was different. Joey was sure that Charlie had meant every word and now Joey was struggling to reassure Charlie that her kisses wasn't just an act from the past and she wanted Charlie just as desperately.
Joey had felt Charlie's entire body stiffen up once her moan had escaped her mouth, and she couldn't seem to find the way to prove to Charlie that there was no reason for her to be panicking.
Just as Joey finally found the courage to speak up and confess her own feelings, Charlie suddenly stood up brashly. Grabbing her shirt from the couch, Charlie turned away from Joey as she struggled to slip it back on. Joey swallowed deeply as Charlie briefly turned back to her, but avoided looking Joey in the eyes.
Charlie squeezed her eyes shut as she managed to get her arms through the arm holes in the shirt. Not bothering to do up any of the buttons, Charlie turned back to Joey who was still seated in a trance on the couch, "I'm…sorry…I have to go."
Before Joey could stop her, Charlie rushed out of the living room into her bedroom. Joey felt tears brimming in her eyes at the thought of Charlie running away from her. Though she might not have found the courage to voice her feelings or the reasons behind her actions of intimately kissing Charlie, Joey was sure she'd made her intentions clear.
I started kissing her…and she ran away. How could she say she wanted me and do that? Was she just imagining the past and suddenly the present caught up with her and she…realized that it wasn't me that she wanted because her past feelings will never resurface in the present? Doesn't she ever want to be with me again?
Slamming the bedroom door shut behind her, Charlie threw herself onto her bed. Her shirt remained unbuttoned and Charlie buried her head against her pillow. Tears flowed down Charlie's cheeks at her reaction of confessing her deep need to be with Joey and then to run away when Joey couldn't respond to her confession.
Charlie's thoughts were clouding her mind as she continued sobbing heavily and she was so caught up in her own reactions from Joey's massage that she didn't stop to ask herself the one question she should've:
Why did Joey kiss me like that…like she wanted to be with me?
Wow! Is it hot in here! Could you feel the tension between the pair?
And just when you thought they'd finally get it on they both got this silly thought in their heads that the other was doing nothing but remembering their past loving moments and couldn't possibly be feeling the same things in the present...damn that pesky flashback for making them think about the past!
And what about Charlie taking off her wedding ring? Was that a shocker? Could you sense Joey's sadness at the revelation?
Next time - Will Joey go racing after Charlie? Will either women confess their feelings are well and truly alive now in the present...and act on them...? Or will I continue this will they or won't they saga for just a tad longer knowing you'll all come back begging for more...?
