She wakes up suddenly, her eyes popping open in a slight panic. The room is dark, lit by a single lamp. The house is quiet and Abrielle is sound asleep in her arms. She shifts slightly so she has a better grasp on the baby then gets up, keeping her level. Abrielle doesn't even twitch.
She sticks her head into the playroom, smiling when she sees the nest of blankets of the floor. Kalli and Autumn are side by side, separated by a flimsy pillow, wearing their matching pajamas. Raimundo is sprawled out nearby, his blankets kicked off. She shuts the door quietly and looks in the other bedrooms. Zane and Isaias are asleep in the bunk beds. She shuts the TV off and closes the door. Neva is fast asleep in her own bed, her phone buzzing on her bedside table. She walks into the basement. Cruz and Rang look over their shoulders at her. Ryder is asleep on the couch next to them.
"Brush your teeth." She orders quietly and they nod, going back to their game. "Where's Abel?"
"He went outside. He made sure everyone was in bed. What were you doing?" Rang asks her.
"Asleep." She says ruefully and they look at her curiously.
"Are you sick?" Cruz asks and she makes a face.
"Please try to be in bed at a reasonable hour." She requests and they snort. She wanders back upstairs, opening the door to the patio. Abel is reclining in one of the large chairs, gazing up at the stars. She sits next to him in silence, nestling Abrielle into her chest.
"The stars are better at home." He says quietly and Willow looks upwards. Though their neighborhood is fairly dark, only the brightest stars are visible.
"Where's home?" She asks and he's quiet for a long time.
"Norco." He says finally. "I lived on a farm there for awhile when I was a kid, before mom got a house in the city, closer to the hospital. On clear nights, we could see what we thought was every star in the sky."
"You and Thomas?" Willow asks and he shakes his head.
"Yeah, me and him and Lucius." He says and she frowns slightly.
"Lucius?" She asks and he inhales a shaky breath.
"Nero's son. He lived with us for a while, but he has spina bifida. He's in a home now." He explains.
"Who's Nero?" Willow asks, mildly confused and Abel sighs.
"He loved my grandma Gemma. So when my dad killed himself, Nero took my mom and us to his farm. He watched over us." He tells her and Willow struggles to place the name in the few mentions she's ever heard of Gemma.
"Does your mom know you're prospecting?" She asks, rubbing Abrielle's back when the little girl fusses.
"She does." He confirms, sounding tired.
"And?" Willow pushes.
"And what Willow?" He responds sharply and Abrielle gives a little whimper. Both falls silent as Willow settles her back into sleep.
"And she is proud of her son or does she remember what she brought you out of, when you left Charming?" She asks him back and he stays quiet. "I thought a mother wouldn't want to put her child in danger. I try to protect kids that aren't even my flesh and blood, I can about imagine what I would do for ones that are." She points out, getting up. "Thank you for putting them to bed. Goodnight."
"Willow," Abel says wearily but she slides the patio door shut, ignoring him. She lays Abrielle down in the playpen and climbs into bed herself, replying to her mother's texts, Piper's texts, Ellie's texts, Jordan's texts, and Jaycee's texts. She hunkers down beneath the blankets, scrolling aimlessly through social media, hardly taking any note.
"Me and you baby girl." She whispers to Abrielle, rolling on her side so she can watch the baby sleep. She's drifting off when there's a soft knock on the door. She sits up and Abel pushes the door open.
"Hey." He says, voice hushed. "Can we just talk?"
"About what?" Willow asks, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her head on her knees. He doesn't say anything but sits down next to the playpen and gazes at Abrielle.
"My best friend Lucy is a teen mom." He says quietly and Willow frowns at the direction this is going. "She had a little girl when we were 16. My friend Josh is the dad and when she found out and told him, he told she could go get an abortion and then we could go to a movie or something after. When she decided to keep it, he completely freaked out. He's a good kid but he wasn't ready to be a dad. So my mom helped out and by default I did too." He informs her.
"That's nice of you." Willow says, wondering where this is going.
"You remind me of her." He says, finally looking up at her and Willow remains impassive, not sure if this is a compliment or not. "How great you are with kids. You're going to be a great mom some day."
"And some day is far, far away." She says and he shrugs.
"Point is, I'm sorry. I was rude." He says and she raises an eyebrow.
"I thought since you're a part of the MC now you'd stop saying sorry." She says and he looks contemplative.
"I don't know what to do." He says quietly and she's reminded of Jordan and Camila in the coffee shop.
"Just cause you're SAMCRO doesn't mean you have to change who you are." She says and he gives a little snort. "Don't do that." She chides. "It's corny but it's true. This life, it eats up who you are inside and it takes any of the independence that you have. This family is a pack and it feels like if you're outside it, you'll die. But just because you're in it doesn't mean that's all you are."
"It's all I wanted to be." He muses. "Even as a little kid, when I had no idea what it meant. I had a ring and some memories of my dad. It's different for Thomas I guess. He's never been interested in it, but with me, it's all I could think about. And now that I'm here I just want to know that I'm making the right choice." Willow looks at him in surprise.
"I never pictured SAMCRO as a choice." She says and Abel looks up at her. "SAMCRO wasn't a choice for me. It still isn't."
"You're choosing to go to college." He reminds her.
"And I told them about it." She responds.
"You weren't planning on it." He shoots and she's quiet, trying to think of how to respond.
"And then I was kidnapped and raped." She says, almost inaudibly and Abel flinches. "If that taught me anything, it taught me that sometimes bad shit happens. But what's gonna stop bad shit from happening to me? I could be the mayor's daughter and still get hurt. But at least I know that SAMCRO means having uncles and brothers and aunts and a mother and sister that will drop everything to be there when bad things happens."
"So you like the protection." Abel states and she shakes her head, frustrated.
"I like the family. I like that these people are all I've ever known, even if that drives me absolutely crazy. I like that I love them, no matter what. Even when I want to escape. I like that they're where I learned to be strong from. You don't get to pick your family."
"You did though." He protests. "Tig and Chibs and Happy and Rat, they're not your blood."
"They killed for me." She says coolly and Abel falls silent, looking surprised at her tone. "And you did too. In my book, that makes us family."
"I don't know how you can handle it." He says, hanging his head and Willow scoots closer to the edge of the bed.
"Handle what?" She asks, frowning.
"This." He says, gesturing wildly. "This life. You act like it's normal, like you have no second thoughts. You said that I would fall out. That boys don't last in this club. What if I'm a boy, not a man?" He asks desperately.
"It is our choices that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities." She says sagely and Abel looks at her, incredulously.
"Did you just quote Harry Potter?" He demands and she can't help herself. She giggles.
"Maybe."
"Unbelievably." He says, shaking his head. "Try to have a serious conversation with you and all the sudden Harry Potter." He gets up gingerly and she's surprised at the end of the conversation.
"Do you want to stay in here?" She offers. "The couch isn't very comfy." He pauses at the door then shakes his head and shuts the door quietly. She sinks back into the pillows, unsure what this rejection means.
AN: I love that at it's essence, SOA was all about family, so I thought it was fitting that these two discuss family. Leave a review, let me know your thoughts?
