A/N: Hey guys! Here's another Yule chapter, this one is very short, but good in it's own way. My seme and I talked about a month ago about all the parings in this fic, and we realized who doesn't have anyone to fuck - Kadaj and Yazoo. Please enjoy reading about Christmas from their point-of-view.
Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
Christmas Eve, Chinese takeout, old home movies playing on the television. This describes Kadaj and Yazoo every single year. While the rest of their family and friends each had someone to spend time with, these two brothers have been left out of the relationship loop for their entire lives. Now, they aren't virgins, Kadaj is a slut for crying out loud, but they've never found that special someone. The brothers, as of December first, took ownership of the Residence Inn at the Oceanfront, and had decided to re-model the top floor for their new home. Hell, it had only cost them millions, but they had the money...though they'd never go into detail about obtaining it.
Yazoo and Kadaj had spent years saving up for the perfect place, which is why it took so long to move out of their parents' home, and the Oceanfront is the prime location to cause some chaos. We all know these two aren't the beach-types, which his where the remodeling came in. Now the walls are a deep navy blue, the floors an almost black teal carpeting, and every piece of furniture is white suede. Nice.
Kadaj watched as a ten year-old him ran around the old mansion in his underwear...they were pink. The current silverette set down his box of noodles and leaned back on the couch, watching his older brother sip his beer.
Yazoo caught his brother's stare from the corner of his eye and set his can down. "What?"
"I can't remember, what day is it?" Kadaj asked.
"It's the twenty-fourth, duh."
"Really? Didn't notice..." Just then a loud burst of music from the hotel guests below shook the floor. "They seem to be having fun." He stood, popped the discs in his back, and strolled out the front door.
Yazoo quickly looked at his watch, then turned his attention back to the wide open door. He listened as their private elevator began moving down, then stop the floor below theirs. Almost a minute later, the blaring music suddenly cut off, and Kadaj was entering the large suite again. Yazoo checked his watch again and smirked. "New record brother, only two minutes this time."
Kadaj rolled his eyes. "You'd figure no one would get rooms below us since we own the place, but no, they do it just to piss me off with their loud music." He fell beside his fellow silverette on the couch and took a sip of his own beer.
"But brother, it's Christmas Eve, they should be allowed to have fun." Yazoo was about to pull out his older-brother-wisdom again.
"Pfft, what's fun about dressing up trees as colorful harlots and actually holding back insults at people just for them to build up and come out as someone going postal? Hmm...actually, that does sound fun." He grinned and eyed their own tree, a black one with white ornaments covering it. There weren't any presents beneath the tree of course, it was just there for the Hell of it.
Yazoo sighed and was about to start his lecturing again when there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" He stood, and after avoiding Kadaj' foot which tried to trip him, opened the door to find Loz staring at them with frantic eyes. "Brother?"
Kadaj looked over from the couch and quickly got to his feet. "Brother, what's up?"
Loz looked left and right then threw himself into the suite. "You need to hide me." He pleaded, clutching at Yazoo's bare chest.
The oldest of the three quirked a brow. "Why?"
"My wife...it's..." Suddenly Loz had no way of putting it. The man was just too damn polite about things like this, and so he took to giving visual aids. He put a hand at his stomach and cringed, then made silent bitching motions.
Both of his brothers' eyes suddenly filled with understanding. "Come in." Kadaj said, dragging his older brother to the couch with him.
"Poor Loz, I can't imagine how Tifa must be at this time of the month for you – and on Christmas!" Yazoo handed his little brother a beer and rubbed a hand over his back to soothe him.
"It's usually fine if I stay away from her, but she insisted it had passed and we were going to have a romantic evening together..." Loz began.
Kadaj was wriggling his eyebrows. Yazoo promptly shoved him.
"Keep going." The eldest prompted.
Loz took a swig of beer and continued. "Everything was fine, until she suddenly just twitched and stared at me like I wasn't there..." He shuddered. "I couldn't get out of there fast enough." He finished his can and set it down on the coffee table.
Yazoo patted him on the back again. "It's alright Loz. That's just how women are-"
"You would know." Kadaj spat. He was promptly shoved again.
"-when that happens they just don't want anything to do with men because we really are the main source of their problems." He furrowed his brow. "Wait...I thought she took birth control – the kind to stop this from happening every month. What's up?"
Loz gulped. "This is where it gets bad..." He held his face in his hands. "I want us to have a baby."
Silence.
"We talked about it, and she says she still wants to wait, but I think we're ready and brother said that it should be okay if I just switch-out her pills to-"
"What?" Yazoo stood up so fast that the coffee table went flying upside-down. He caught his brother sneaking towards the front door and with lightning speed tackled him to the floor. They struggled for a few minutes until Yazoo was sitting on his brother's chest. "What the Hell did you tell him to do? Are you nuts! If Tifa – hell, mother, finds out, you'll be killed! No, not even that, you'll wind up in some SAW shit with rusty tempered steel cutting into you and shit!" He took a few deep breaths.
"What was I supposed to do? Brother wants a kid and Tifa's ready, she's just-"
"Shut. Up." Yazoo looked murderous. It was well-known to the three brothers, and the rest of the immediate Valentine family, that Yazoo was the most family-oriented of them all. He was the one to take care of his younger siblings and actually enjoy every minute of it. He was the first to support Riku and Kadaj when they came out of the closet. He was Loz' Best Man at his wedding. Now the silver-haired male was at his brother's throat over a PMS-ing woman who's Birth Control pills were swapped-out for candy – most likely.
Just then, the people downstairs began cheering and shouting 'merry Christmas' to each other. Yazoo sighed and got up, holding a hand down to his brother. "It's Christmas, let's just try not to kill each other today, alright?"
Kadaj eyed the hand and took it, smirking to himself. "You always were the sentimental one.
And he was promptly punched in the face.
Happy Holidays everyone, try to put up with family that you hate, okay?
