The World Only the Girls Know: A Moonflower's Wish
Chapter 49: Ideals
Note: Characters from the Light Novel will be Included as well.
..
Original Title: The World Only God Knows / 神のみぞ知るセカイ
Original Concept by Tamiki Wakaki
Written by: wrathie
Author's Notes: This Story contains OCs and is on the same time-line as Blue Rose Paradox.
Author's Notes: This chapter is to celebrate the freedom of tyranny, a sense of relief at seeing the end of the struggle I had with my papers. I'm not done yet, so this is a pre-mature celebration. So... I might end up drunk with relief, despair tomorrow.
So I'd figured, why not just update to keep me in higher spirits.
As per the norm, AKAAkira, thank you for the beta!
..
'You're weird.'
Keima commented as they walked slowly down the road to the train station, where Miyabi Eru was going to get on the train. Apparently her home was a few train stops away and it wasn't normal for people who lived that far to come to Mai-High. It was not that Mai-High was a prestigious school or something and it was so easy to transfer out to another school after all.
'There were reasons for that Keima-kun. But it's a lady's secret. You wouldn't ask a lady about her most private things would you, Keima-kun?'
Teasing him by pointing that out, Eru beamed as she got him to speak out a little more. The confessions between the two of them had made the atmosphere between the two of them more comfortable than before.
Sure, he was as laconic as ever but at least it didn't seem as tense and awkward as before when he had tried his very best to ignore her presence at all times.
That part had been addressed so it was good that Keima was at least paying her some attention, it was hard talking to a wall after all... so now that was over with, Eru had tried her best to get him to talk about himself.
Unfortunately for her, it had been like talking to a brick wall (again) so she had tried to break the ice by telling him about herself, starting with her three sizes and it was very enjoyable to see Keima quickly stop her before she was about to reveal yet another intimate secret about herself. He had not been embarrassed, just a little taken aback at how blunt and straightforward she was with her own body and that had led to him asking her whether she was lying to him.
'Why would you tell me all this?'
Yes, another question along the same lines and Eru repeated the same lines back to him as well.
'As Keima-kun is an interesting person who is also a gentleman! I'm sure that a lot of boys would want to know my three sizes!'
Actually Eru was flattering herself as she didn't really have a good figure. If she could call that a figure at all really. It was something that actually irked her a lot but she had gotten over it as the years passed by.
Most of it anyway and it really wasn't that hard to keep her temper in check when Keima snorted out loud, causing Eru to frown a little as she tapped her feet while pointing at him.
'That's rude of you, Keima-kun! A girl's three sizes is the most important thing to them.'
'Except their innocence.'
Keima and Eru had gone on a tangent at that to her surprise; she didn't think that Keima would actually be very knowledgeable about 'girls' in general, but this turned out to be untrue. Now there were more reasons to believe that Keima could actually be someone that could make all those girls fall for him.
He knew what areas girls were sensitive about, what they would typically do and why they do them and most importantly, he knew how to give them space and the time they needed to think and reflect about what they want to do.
He knew that most boys, who were easy enough to rely on tried and true instinct and emotions to direct their attention, most girls were more likely to take a step back to think about the situation.
Eru was surprised about Keima's knowledge, or maybe it was that Keima could read her own preferences? His response in their conversations impressed Eru, it would be even more impressive if it turned out that he tailored them to her.
It would mean that he had been paying attention to her and was actually forming quite an accurate picture of her as they interacted. In a way, it was flattering, though on the other end of the spectrum, it bordered on freaky.
..
At the end of the day though, Miyabi Eru didn't get to know more about Keima but she did know more about how Keima thought and although Keima wasn't able to get to learn Eru's three sizes, she chalked the day as a success.
'See you tomorrow, Keima-kun.'
She swore he started when he heard that but as he didn't give any indications that he did, Eru let it drop. She waved cheerfully at him as she tapped her phone against the fare gate and ran off to catch her train.
Eru wasn't surprised when she saw plenty of messages waiting for her as she flipped her phone open; she really expected to see Fuse Aoba's number from the top all the way to the bottom of the list.
'Ara ara, she's so impatient, isn't she?'
..
Katsuragi Keima, the Capturing God found himself fighting different emotions as he wondered and asked himself time and time again: why he didn't shake that girl off like he could with any of the other girls before?
Was he afraid? He really wasn't sure what it was that made it so hard for him to just say 'no' or just walk away when she started talking about herself. The information that he wanted from Fuse Aoba was given to him or perhaps offered to him as an offering. Was that one reason why he stayed back? That didn't explain why or how she was able to make that call to make him stay anyway.
Did she make him stay with her confession and words? Or did he want to stay because he was curious about her as well?
Chihiro was right; she, Miyabi Eru was the first individual that had approached him actively in years that wasn't part of a capture. The introduction that he had given during the time when he started school in Mai-High had more or less cemented his position as the ostracised member in the class and by extension the school.
Yoshino Asami didn't count as till the end, he had approached her and the interaction he had with Ayumi and perhaps Chihiro before were solely due to the fact that the two of them were paired to do class duties together.
Mind, Keima was actually happy about that as it gave him the freedom to do whatever he wanted as long as his grades were good enough. In hindsight, Mari's plan to transfer him into school to get him away from his old reputation was a complete failure.
Coupled on with the fact that Mari had always been defensive about Keima's attitude towards school, leaning towards the fact that he was a misunderstood genius, something that was proven once again the last parent-teacher conference, Keima hadn't bothered with the 'real' at all.
Even his current situation with the 'captured girls' he admitted was more of a necessity than anything else. Even if it hurt, even if it was something that he was loathe to admit, it wasn't an interaction with the real at all.
It was more of atonement, something he thought that he wouldn't mention again after sorting things out with the girls. But atonement it was and it wasn't even close to a capture, a capture would actually necessitate emotions being invested in it.
But was there any at all during his time with the girls? Sure, there might be a few instances but could he honestly give a straight answer to any of the girls about his own feelings and thoughts about the matter?
Perhaps Aoba could understand. Or could she? He thought that Chihiro would... but that was apparently a fallacy as well. Chihiro, too, she didn't quite understand him fully.
It was to be expected actually and Keima sighed abruptly as he waited for the lights to turn green at the traffic intersection he was about to cross.
'… They couldn't understand. How could they?'
His mind wandered to the question that he had posed Chihiro and Ayumi during the capture of Kureha Haruka. Whether they would be able to accept any apologies from the people who had ostracised and had ridiculed him for so long.
Human nature was cruel and unforgiving; he himself knew that more than anything else. For someone to truly understand what he felt like, what he was going through, they would rightly have to go through all of that to even say they understood him.
..
Yes, Kosaka Chihiro had came a long way to actually emerge as one of the few individuals who could rightly say that she was able to see through the mask of the Capturing God for just a little while.
She, out of all the girls, could see his answer, the answer that he had come to terms and accepted in his heart. She had supported him and in turn, he had acknowledged her, being one of the few individuals to be considered an oddity.
An oddity... would anything have changed if he was just a little more open with her? Keima wouldn't know now.. but at least he had another chance with her, Miyabi Eru, a person who could really...
'She understood.'
..
'Ara ara, Aoba-chan sure is impatient!'
Smiling as she answered her phone as she stepped off the train, Miyabi Eru's smile got bigger and brighter when Aoba demanded answers to what she had been doing with Keima earlier on.
'Ah, was Aoba-chan spying on us? Or were you following us, hmm?'
Eru's casual remark was ignored by Aoba as she demanded answers again in the cool, cold voice that hinted that she was really mad now. Still, Eru wasn't respected by Aoba for nothing and the older girl simply giggled before commenting again.
'Now, Aoba-chan. I know you are jealous and I know you were just in a fight with Keima-kun, but that's not the right way to deal with it! Even if you do like him that much and is worried that onee-chan is going to steal Keima-kun away, it's not going to happen~'
Her soothing words seemed to placate Aoba just a little as there was a pause before another unfamiliar voice took over.
'Gomen sempai, I'm Kosaka, Kosaka Chihiro. I... I want to know, what did Katsuragi say to you? It... It's the first time, I've ever seen Katsuragi like this... Please, I need to know! I... I hurt him today, and I... and I... I just want to apologize to him.'
The girl on the line was very tensed and was having difficulty hiding her emotions for him. This caused the smile on Eru's face dimmed a little, her heart ached a little too as she realized that despite his own words, there were people out there who still cared for and wanted to be trusted by Katsuragi Keima.
Once upon a time, she had the same. or did she still have them now...? the friends that had abandoned her... or she had abandoned... she didn't know, no, she shouldn't know now.
Taking a small breath, Eru calmed her own inner turmoil before speaking to the panicked girl over the phone. Kosaka was it? She must be someone who valued Katsuragi very much; anything else wouldn't warrant her confessing that over the phone to a random stranger she never met before.
'He's fine. Even though he denies it, he is still concerned about all of you. Give him some time dear, just give him some more time.'
'I-Is that true?'
'Be patient. You've have been patient for very long, hadn't you? Aoba-chan too. All he needs, is some time alone now.'
'S-Some time alone? T-That's it? I-Is that... true?'
'It isn't so simple to hurt someone you know, Chihiro-chan... even if he denies it, he too is hurt when he hurts any one of you girls. He's... such a weird person, but still a normal person if he could still worry, right? It's okay, I'll look after him for all of you till he's ready to talk to all of you again~'
Apparently Aoba had her phone on speakers as there was a brief scuffle before Aoba's voice came through the receiver again.
'No, I do not agree with this. Sempai, Miyabi-sempai... please, I... I have to request that you allow us to see him and to speak with him first. There are things that we have to clarify and to make known to him. Please, could you please let us speak with him first before you see him again?'
That's really too bad for Aoba, for after hearing that request, Miyabi's curiosity was heightened again and she giggled before telling them she'd consider it.
'Now, bye bye~~'
'Sempai! Miyabi-sem-'
Thinking back, that was the first time that Aoba actually called her so formally wasn't it? It was a very weird occurrence and that showed how desperate she was to stop her from meeting him.
Why was that? Were they that jealous of her interacting with him?
..
'… I... really wonder.'
Resting a finger on her lips as she considered that question, Eru ignored that question the moment she stepped out of the station and she sighed in response.
'Ah, good evening... here to take me back, huh?'
Her eyes looking tired for the first time the entire day, the smile on her face wiped away, Miyabi Eru nodded to the person waiting for her and she followed his lead.
'Hai hai~~'
For some reason, she didn't look or sound very happy at all.
..
Looking at her phone unhappily, Fuse Aoba looked up to the crestfallen Chihiro before narrowing her eyes in defeat.
'… Miyabi-sempai... I shouldn't have said that to her. But she was right, there is no way that Kami-sama would allow us to approach him right now. No, even if we were able to, he would not listen to us completely... he too, is human after all.'
'… How... how could she refuse us like that? She... she has no right to be involved in this!'
'Please, get a hold of yourself, Kosaka. It is unbecoming of you, not to mention unlike you...'
Aoba offered a small smile as Chihiro nodded and took several deep breaths to calm herself down. She was right though, it really was unlike Chihiro to get so emotional like this and she knew why.
After discussing it with Haqua and Chihiro herself, the resulting answer as to why Keima had reacted as well as answered the way he did was more or less clear.
'… I've...determined before that he was god, a devil and he was human... but what if I was wrong?'
Aoba repeated to herself as she sat down beside Chihiro, the other girl looking at the Mai-Himefor help, for assistance, for anything that would help their predicament right now.
Her hopes were dashed though when Aoba shook her head and looked around for a drink, any drink really, to clear her head and to take her mind off this issue.
'… It might be our fault, truly... it can be a mixture of reasons for it all to boil down to this... in the end, I didn't help him at all. I'm a failure as his student.'
Chihiro was confused at the sudden confession by Aoba and she turned to look at the Mai-Hime drag her hands through her hair unhappily.
'… He can only be one at a single time. He could either be God or devil or human... not all at the same time. Not when all of us wants his attention. As God he knows that there could be no favourites, I knew that and I expected out of him... but as a human, it was impossible, He himself has his own tastes and his own preferences, not to mention the 'past history' that he had with everyone was different. In the end, that itself was his downfall. He could not channel his inner devil to deliver his judgement upon us, his lost lambs.'
Pausing as she felt Chihiro's hands on her shoulders, Aoba smiled slightly as Chihiro told her to go on. She had been close, so close to the truth that she should have figured it out herself.
No, perhaps she did, and that's why she regretted at the implications of her own words that she had thoughtlessly told Keima.
Even if she had all rights to be frustrated, even if she was able to peer through the God's mask, something that was admitted by Keima himself... She, of all the people should have known why he felt that way.
Why he felt that the girls were being selfish and that to ask for more was perhaps, a little more than he could accept or take.
'He is god, after all. That's why he was able to look at all of us more or less impartially, to treat us equally with the same kindness, acceptance and tolerance that he could muster at his end. He could have chosen to remove our memories by force if he had to, we... knew that but in the end he still chose to keep us by his side. That part is why all of us are so selfish; selfish in trying to have more, selfish in trying to find the right balance for everything. Perhaps, as a true god, without human emotions tying him down to us, on the same level, he could have accomplished this.'
Sighing, Aoba continued to emphasize to Chihiro that was not the case at all.
'He is god, devil and human all at the same time. Even he, the Capturing God has his breaking point... the moment when he gives up the notion of being god to all of us, to choose one of us is the day that he becomes human. The day that he accepts all of us and encourages all of us is the day he becomes the devil.'
The last part had Chihiro blushing while Aoba smiled a little wistfully.
'A demon, someone who has forsaken the ideals of god and goes against him... isn't that right to say that he could be someone who breaks and yet steals the heart of everyone of his lost lambs? As entertaining and tempting the idea might be, I fear that some of us would not accept that.'
And Aoba would be right on that; 'sharing' Keima was just out of the question for her but Chihiro wasn't sure some of the other more desperate girls would mind that if they got a piece of the pie.
'A 'harem' end can be considered a 'devil's ending' for a purist. It might be enjoyable for some but to the Capturing God who would sweat blood, sweat and even risk his own life to achieve the 'ending' of all of us, it would be a sin for him.'
'Then... what's wrong then...'
..
'He can't be wavered, he should not be wavered... but in the end, the human part of him wavered... Miyabi Eru, the person who could see and touch the human part of him is trying to bring the human part of him out. Reacting defensively, he searched answers from the only source that he could use, us... specifically me... and I failed him. He desperately wished to keep the human inside him sealed away for our sake, or perhaps... to fulfil his own promise to others.'
'… He says it's always for the girls... he was always afraid that he would fail... that he couldn't do what he promised to do to all of them.'
'Chihiro...?'
'He... has to save all of them... all of us did not wished to be saved... no, we wished to be saved but we wanted more, and that's why he kept himself distant... but in the end, was it too distant that he too forgot what he wanted to do in the first place... to 'save' all of us?'
Author's Notes: I know where I'm going and leading all my readers to. So tell me what you feel about it?
And... I'm feeling not just a little, but very frustrated at being unable to find a copy of Fire Emblem: Awakening.
Seriously, Nintendo? What is this? :Endrant:
