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Dr. Rhiannon Davies finished the notes on her last session and took a deep breath, sometimes the things she was told could get a little much, even for a seasoned professional. It was hard to believe how much pain some of her patients had to go through before they even started high school. She got up and walked to the small kitchenette behind her desk. She turned the kettle on and made herself a nice cup of tea, taking a moment to inhale the sweet aroma. Back at her desk she carefully set the cup down and smiled when she looked at the next appointment on her calendar. "Kurt Schuester" was the name, next to a tiny doodle of a cake with candles on it. The therapist reached over and pushed a button on her phone.

"Donna, you can send Kurt in now, please." she said.

She was looking forward to this meeting. The boy was very special to her and even though she would never allow herself to admit that she had favorites among her patients, this child was definitely one of those she considered one of her success stories and it made her happy. She knew he would still have a lot of hurdles ahead of him, but he was a good, smart kid with a great support system and she did not see the need to worry about him. When she heard the door open she looked up expecting the bouncy, grinning kid that had last left her office a month ago, but instead was met with the image of a sulking teen dragging his feet across her floor. Oh boy.

"Laddie!" she smiled, ignoring his appearance and got up to pull him into a hug. "Happy belated birthday!"

"Thank you." Kurt mumbled after being allowed to breathe again and dropped onto the big green chair.

"So how was the big thirteen? Did you have a great day?" she smiled fondly.

"Not really." he said, concentrating on tracing a pattern on the worn out fabric of the chair's arms. Did other kids like rubbing these as much as he did?

"Want to tell me about it?" the doctor put on her glasses and reached for her pen, signaling that she had gone into professional mode.

"There's this old song in one of Rachel's karaoke books, don't know if you heard of it, it's called "It's My Party…."

"…and I'll cry if I want to?" the woman added.

"That's the one." Kurt grimaced.

"And that's the best song to describe your birthday party?"

The teen shrugged.

"Come on, lad. Now that you've started you'll feel better if you tell me the whole thing.

Kurt took a deep breath and told her about what had happened. He did not mention Nick by name but he told her that he had wanted to use the party to find a connection with someone and how nervous he had been. He told her about his big brothers' surprise visit and then about Puck's big revelation of Quinn being pregnant and about Santana's meltdown.

"Oh my! What happened after that?"

"Mum and Dad took Noah and Finn inside to talk. They told us to get on with the party but everyone was kind of stunned. Coach Sylvester set up the karaoke machine and started singing Madonna songs and she soon got Becky and the other kids to join her, but I was just too shocked."

"So you did not get to make your connection?"

He shook his head.

"What about Santana? What happened there?"

"Brit and Sam called after a while, they'd taken her to Mike's place in the end. She refused to come home until Noah had left."

"So he left that same night?"

"Uh huh." Kurt was biting his lip so hard the doctor feared he might draw blood, this was obviously stressing him.

"Did he tell your parents what had happened?"

"Apparently it was a one time thing. Quinn visited them at OSU and they all went to a party and got very drunk. He says he knows it was a mistake, but we all know how much he loves Quinn, he's always had a thing for her."

"So you don't blame him?"

"I don't know. Of course it was wrong, but I know why he did it, he loved her for so long but always thought she was out of reach. I guess I blame her more than him, she knew about his feelings and also about how much it would hurt Santana."

"It takes two to tango, laddie."

"I know that. I'm just saying when you really like someone but know you can never have them, maybe it makes you go a little crazy."

"Are we still talking about your siblings or is there something else you would like to tell me?"

Kurt sighed and shook his head.

"Okay. Just know I am here for you if you need me, okay?"

Kurt nodded and they talked about how much it scared him to watch his family fall apart until the session ended. Apparently Puck had called him to let him know that he would not be coming home over summer as had been planned. Instead the older boy had managed to get hired as a roadie for a friend's band and was going to be touring with them until he had to return to college. With the exception of Santana none of the Schuesters were too happy with that decision, but there did not seem to be another option. Noah promised to send his little brother lots of cards, texts and emails and also to give Sarah a big hug from him when he went to see her during his one week stay in California.

Rhiannon Davies sighed as she watched the young boy leave her office, she looked down at her calendar and drew a big, sad smiley over the little cake next to his name.


A couple weeks later Kurt came home from a shopping trip to the mall with Mercedes and turned on his computer checking Facebook for any messages from Sarah, the two had been updating each other whenever they heard from their brother. There were no new messages but he had a new friend's request. His heart beat faster as he saw it was from no one other than Nick.

Oh my God! What was this supposed to mean? He had to talk to someone right away and since Santana and Noah were no options he quickly grabbed his phone and called his best friend. Mercedes was on his doorstep in less than twenty minutes.

"Show me!" she said while trying to catch her breath.

He showed her the little note on his computer screen.

"He didn't send a message with it?"

"No." Kurt frowned. "Is that bad?"

"No… of course not… I mean he probably didn't see the need cause you already know each other. He came to your party I'm surprised to know you weren't Facebook friends yet."

"So what do I do?"

"Accept him!"

Kurt clicked the little button and a new box popped up.

"Do you want to send a message…." he read, then looked helplessly at his friend who could only shrug her shoulders.

Another thirty minutes later Lauren was facing the screen with them.

"I think you should say something, that way he's forced to respond."

"But what?"

"Something cool." the big girl shrugged.

"Do I look cool to you?" Kurt exclaimed throwing up his arms.

The girls giggled.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying my misery."

"Oh come on, Kurtie. It is kind of funny!"

At that moment Sam stuck his blonde head through the door.

"Hey guys! Me and Mike are gonna go get some ice cream, do you want some?"

Mercedes squeaked and hid behind Lauren, who was trying her hardest not to fall over laughing.

"No, thanks bro." Kurt smiled.

When the older teen had left he turned to look at his friend.

"You're right, Cedes. It is pretty funny."

The girl just hid her face behind her hands being too embarrassed to reply. He got up and gave her a long hug.

"Okay it's sent." Lauren interrupted them.

"WHAT?" Kurt ran back to his desk. "What did you do? What did you say? I swear if you embarrassed me I'm going to tell your mom that you ate all the Cadbury Eggs and they didn't melt in the sun like you claimed."

"Chill dude. I played it cool."

Kurt went back to his messages and saw that Lauren had sent a simple "What's up?" to the boy of his dreams. Great - that sounded nothing like himself.

"Let's check out his profile." Mercedes suggested and they spent the next ten minutes looking at the other boy's pictures and interests.

"Whoa. He's so popular. He's friends with half the school. Look he just added Jeff, David and Trent today as well.

"Oh." Kurt muttered, clearly disappointed at not being the boy's only choice.

"Don't worry. He didn't add me or Cedes, you're still special."

The boy tried to smile but it was not very convincing.

He did not get a reply from Nick for a whole day and then when he did it only said something about how he had spent the day at the Lima Public Pool. Kurt hated public pools, they seemed terribly unhygienic to him and there was always the possibility of a bully throwing you in the water. It had also been a very sunny day and he would never allow damage to his skin by exposing it to something that would only cause it to freckle and burn.


So Kurt Schuester's summer sucked. There is no nicer way of putting it. He spent almost all of his time worrying about his family and trying to accept the fact that being in love only meant you would get hurt in the end and was really nothing one should strive for.

The weeks dragged on, the only distraction being offered by Finn and Rachel's visits and the never ending stories about the girl's New York adventures. Santana, Brittany and Sue left and spent weeks at cheerleading camp, while Becky stayed with the Schuester's and kept him company, Sam and Mike left for football camp and finally everyone returned.

When summer ended the only thing that was different was the number of postcards he had stuck to his wall. He could only hope that Noah was doing as well as the cards claimed, Sarah had not been able to get him to talk about Quinn or the baby.

Nothing changed at home and back at school things just got worse. The bullies seemed to have developed a sixth sense for catching him on his own, he was tripped, shoved, called names, tossed into dumpsters and on more than one occasion had his lunch money stolen. He was so embarrassed he could not even tell his friends. He hated being seen as a victim, this was not who he was. He began avoiding Nick at all costs, simply because he was too ashamed. Since his family was so worried about an absent Puck and a spiraling out of control Santana - and with none of his siblings going to the same school - none of them noticed. During the family's now mostly silent dinners nobody paid attention to just how little their youngest member was eating.


It was November when things finally changed and as he came home to loud screaming and doors being slammed Kurt was pretty sure it was not for the better.

"What's going on?" he asked Sam as he ran into him on the staircase.

"Grandma Victoria called." the blonde replied. "She wanted to make sure that we will be coming to her Thanksgiving dinner - all of us."

There was a particularly loud yell and the sound of something hitting the wall.

"I take it Santana's not happy?"

"You could say that. Mom and Brit have been trying to calm her down for an hour now and Dad is still on the phone with Finn who can't get Puck to agree to come."

"If he doesn't want to come we shouldn't force him."

"Well, you know Grandma, she's threatening to cut all our college funds if any of us don't show up and we need her money, Mom's trust fund is pretty much gone and you can't raise seven kids on a teacher's salary."

Kurt winced, he had never put much thought into how his parents could support such a large family.

"Don't worry. It's gonna be okay." Sam said patting his shoulder but not sounding too convincing. "I'm going over to Mike's do you want to come? Artie is out with Tina and some of the other Glee club kids."

"No, thanks. I got a lot of homework to do." he lied.

"Well, good luck with that." his brother replied after another loud scream echoed through the house.

Kurt went to his room and laid down on his bed, Valentino came in and cuddled up to him, he was clearly upset by what was going on in his home.

"Hey buddy." Kurt whispered as he reached for his earphones, planning on drowning out the rest of the world for as long as he could.

On Thanksgiving day the family found itself at Victoria Pillsbury's antique dinner table. They were complete, Finn and Puck having driven over separately and only arriving shortly before dinner time, which had earned them a frown from their grandmother before their mother received a lecture on the importance of teaching young people about punctuality.

Dinner started out with awkward silence, much like they had become accustomed to at home. Kurt kept sneaking glances at his second oldest brother, who replied by sending him smiles and the occasional wink. From time to time Victoria would ask Kurt how he was doing in school and he would reply with a polite white lie. It was when the older woman addressed his brothers that things got interesting.

"So, Finn and Noah, why don't you tell us about college life? Have you already started studying for your exams?"

The boys did not answer immediately and a loud snort could be heard from the other end of the table.

"Santana." their father warned.

"I'm sorry." the latina said with a sly smile on her face. "Don't let me interrupt, I'm very interested to hear how much Noah has been studying lately."

Everyone gave her confused looks before turning their attention to the mohawked teen.

"I'm doing, okay." the boy mumbled.

"Really?" his sister continued. "All that studying isn't getting too much?"

"No, it's fine." he replied not looking at her.

Everyone was confused at what exactly was going on and Finn began shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"So what will be your next exam then?" the girl continued.

The boy finally looked up and met her gaze, everyone else held their breaths.

"I'm sure nobody wants me to bore them with those details." he said, his tone slightly threatening.

"Oh really?" the girl smiled. "Because I heard you dropped out months ago, so I bet it's very entertaining to hear about."

Everyone gasped and Finn quickly excused himself claiming to be feeling sick.

"You did what?" Will asked looking at his son.

"Oh Noah." Emma sighed.

"I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you - just not tonight."

"Months ago?" Emma whispered.

"I figured I needed to find a way to earn some money - for Quinn and the baby - even if I don't know what her plans are yet, because she refuses to return my calls."

"Oh right." his sister said turning to her grandmother. "Did we tell you that Noah decided to become a man whore and impregnate a girl who actually had a shot at graduating from Yale?"

"SHUT UP!" Puck yelled, finally losing it. "You don't know what really happened, so just keep your mouth shut!"

"Oh I know more than you think!" the girl screamed back, both of them standing up now. "Because unlike you - she actually calls me."

"She - she what?"

"You heard me. She calls me. She's back in Lima staying with her parents, she begged them for forgiveness. Promised to never fall for another whore like you again."

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled, knocking over his glass.

"Noah!" his mother gasped.

"No! She has to shut up. She doesn't get to call me that!" he turned back to his sister. "You think I don't hear stories about you? About how you slept your way through the entire football team? I made one mistake and you dare to call me a whore?"

Nobody quite knew how it happened but suddenly the whole family was up and yelling at each other. Kurt just sat there watching them, not knowing what to do. He still could not help but think this was somehow all his fault, that his party had started it. How could he make them stop now? His mother and Brittany were crying, Finn had returned from wherever he was hiding and was holding back Puck, while Sam held on to Santana. Their father was standing in the middle trying to yell louder than all of them together, but going unnoticed. Victoria, much like Kurt, sat and watched, their eyes locking briefly.

Kurt needed this to end, he could not endure a single second longer. He looked at Artie who just shrugged at him, he did not know what to do either. The younger boy finally took a deep breath and climbed right onto the middle of the beautifully set table.

"Quiet!" he screamed and everyone turned to him in shock.

Now that he had their attention he was not sure what to do. He fumbled with his tie, looking from his parents to Santana and then Noah.

"I just wanted to say I love you all and until recently I was so happy to be a part of this family and it hurts me to see you all fight." he caught Artie and Brittany nodding along and began to move off the table, but stepped back up changing his mind at the last second. "Oh and by the way I'm gay." he added before returning to his seat.

Finally there was silence.


AN: Again - so sorry for the long wait. There are those chapters that just pour out of me and that I write down in less than an our .. and then there's chapters like this, which I really struggle with. I had planned to have this up on Thursday but then I got distracted by having How Will I Know on constant replay. How beautiful is that arrangement? On Friday I was busy with school and then the agonisingly long wait for the songs. I'm convinced the one song per hour thing was just to torture me, I'm sorry if any of you got dragged into it..hehe. Oh and yesterday I was just too excited bout Struck by Lightning and Tribeca. I almost thought I wouldn't ever get to finish this when the Warbler's started tweeting kitten pics n vids .. lol .. it's a conspiracy, but I manned up n here it is. Don't hate me, I promise things will get better soon!