Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just using the names she created for her wonderful story.

As always, a special thanks to X-NessieCullen-X for all that you do for me :)

Chapter 53

The Breath Before the Phrase

By the time the next weekend rolled around, Lanie was chomping at the bit to get out of the apartment. Her punishment was over and Sarah was supposed to be coming over to pick her up. Instead of lying, she was honest and told Edward that Embry might be around and that they were going to look at Halloween costumes for the next weekend before going back to Sarah's. He gave her a hug, threatened to ground her for a month if she pulled what she did the last time she went out with her friends, and reminded her that he had to approve of the costume before he would pay for it.

"Eddie, come on. What if I find one I really like?"

"Then I'll decide if it's appropriate or not. Have you seen some of those costumes?"

"I'm not going to get anything bad. What happens if they're sold out when I take you to look at it?"

"We'll go tomorrow. First thing."

Lanie rolled her eyes. "Alright."

"Oh, and while we're out looking at them tomorrow, we'll get you a new winter coat. You sure you're warm enough in that hoodie?"

"Edward, it's October."

"Okay. Go have fun. I'll see you...before ten. No later."

"Got it. See ya, Bells!"

Bella was taking all of this in from the couch in the living room, giving the girl a small wave as she headed out the door as soon as Sarah knocked. Edward turned to Bella. "Do you think she's going to lie again?"

"Of course she will. Tonight? Probably not."

He just frowned and stalked over to her. "Have you heard from Rosalie?"

"No. I stopped by a couple days ago but no one was home. I've only talked to her the morning after she found everything out."

"Why don't you call her? We can stop by and visit."

"Emmett might still be there. You ready for that run-in?"

"Not really but I thought you said he was moving out?"

"He's supposed to be but that doesn't mean he has. It could be why she hasn't called me. Maybe she's embarrassed. You promised me a while ago that you didn't think he would hurt her..."

"Bella, I had no idea he'd be feeding Tanya drugs while he knew I was risking people that I loved to try and help her off of them. I don't know what he's capable of but I know he loves Jackson and I know he loves Rosalie. He did something really shitty towards me. I very much doubt he was taking the things himself and we both know Rosalie wouldn't have put up with his shit if he was being mean to her. I don't know the whole story but I would have told you if I was worried he'd hurt her."

"You have every right to be angry with him," Bella said after a long moment, reaching over to take his hand.

"I'm pissed. I don't even know what to say to him anymore."

"Are you ever going to at least hear what he has to say?"

"It won't change what happened."

"Do you know for a fact that he kept her high for the past two years? I'm sorry but come on..."

"Jimmy recognized him, Bella. He knew Emmett to see him."

"Well, let's go over. I'll text Rose and let her know we're on our way."

"You want me to talk to him, don't you?"

"I want answers. I, admittedly grudgingly, sat back and watched you try to help Tanya for longer than you should have and if it was because of him, I kind of want to hear his side of the story. He owes us both an explanation."

A half hour later, they were being led into the house by Rosalie while Emmett was entering the living room from the kitchen, carrying his son. Bella froze, unsure of what to say to him and could almost feel the tension rolling off of Edward. While a part of her wanted to reach out and strangle Emmett, another part was trying not to tear up. Her best friend had loved this man with her entire heart, he was the only man Rosalie had ever loved besides her father, and there was a good chance that Rosalie always would love him.

"I thought you moved out," Bella began, looking to Emmett. It was Rosalie that spoke, though.

"Work had been really busy. He's been here to help with Jackson."

"He's my son, Rosalie," Emmett put in. "Don't make it sound like I'm his babysitter."

An awkward silence fell over the room before Rosalie spoke again. "Can I get you guys anything to drink?"

When Bella and Edward both declined, Rose waved them over to the couch and Emmett handed Jackson over to Bella's waiting arms. "You were trying to tell me your side of things at the bar. I know I didn't listen but I needed time to wrap my head around things. I want to know what you did and why you did it. You love Rosalie. Why would you put her in harm because of this? You know a lot of those people in that business are...really bad people."

"Alright," Emmett sighed."First, I want it to be said that I never did this to fu...mess with your head, man. Look, are you sure you want to do this with the girls here."

"Bella doesn't leave. If you don't want your girl here, that's up to you. I did a lot for Tanya at the expense of Bella and she deserves to hear the explanation, too."

Bella suddenly felt nervous but took comfort from the baby snuggled in her arms. It was a bit late and his eyes were starting to close as he rested his head against her. It was probably better that he slept through this exchange, Emmett had already almost dropped the f-bomb and they'd just begun. "I'm staying. Start talking, Em."

"We both know how I met Tanya. I remember a few nights when Lanie needed you and you had to leave when the two of you were at Jazz's. We'd all be over there and you two would head back to the bedroom and whatever. Look, I thought she was unstable from the beginning. I told you that. You cared about her, though, and you never cared about any of the girls so I befriended her. I took her home a couple of nights...because you asked me to. You didn't want her to stay, you never wanted the girls to stay, and I'd be leaving so I'd drop her at home.

"We both knew she was sporadically into the drugs. I didn't start her on them and I sure as hell didn't finish it off, either. I dealt to Tanya twice. Ever. The first time was the night I cheated on Rosalie. I had them on me, she paid me...in cash...for them, and we started talking. Man, she was waiting for you to come around. She played off you not wanting her to stay like it didn't phase her all those other nights but I could tell it hurt. When Bella came into the picture, it broke her heart. I swear to you, though, I didn't do any of it to mess with you.

"She missed you. I missed Rose. One thing led to another, I was drunk and she was high, and we ended up back at Jazz's. It was late. We crashed and Jazz called you. She was obviously still strung out. I'm pretty sure she thought I was you at one point and I was too fucking drunk to think that was fucked. I regret it, Edward. I regretted it from the minute I realized she was on top of me and it hit me that we were basically taking advantage of each other.

"Em, move on. What else happened? When was the second time?"

"I don't know what Jimmy thinks but I give you my word, on the life of my son, that I didn't deal to her after she was put into rehab. I promise. I saw what you were doing for her and what you were trying to accomplish and a part of me was angry with you because you were there for her but you were part of the problem..."

"Emmett," Bella began, "that's not fair. If you were such a friend to her, where the hell were you? Why was it always on him?"

Edward took her hand, before shaking his head. "Enough about Tanya altogether. You know what this shit can do to a family, Emmett. How could you do this? My father..."

Bella watched his shoulders rise and fall as his breath came in heavy spurts. She braced herself, wondering if he was really going to come out with all of this but Bella knew Emmett probably already did know...and she was sure Rosalie had figured out most of it on her own. "Edward, you don't have to..."

Edward pushed on, though, pulling at his hair with the hand not in hers. "He got himself into trouble selling and spending. He took his young son and he..."

"Edward, I know."

"Then how could you do this?" Edward practically shouted, startling the baby in Bella's arms. His little eyes opening to look up at her in surprise. "How could you open yourself up to..."

"I'm not your father, Edward! I'm not taking them. I'm responsible! I wouldn't hurt my son you fucking..."

"Emmett!" Rosalie yelled over him, springing to her feet, hand on her hip, and rounding on her husband. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare! How do you know you wouldn't end up unintentionally hurting him? How?"

Jackson had begun to cry and Rosalie went to him, wrapping him in her arms and taking him upstairs without looking back at anyone. "Bella go with Rosalie," Edward said with an odd, strained tone.

"No. I'm not going to walk away and let you do something stupid."

In a fake-calm voice, Edward looked over at Emmett, who looked ready to explode as well. "You need to tone it the fuck down. Please. She's pregnant."

"I know. Stop looking at me like I'm going to murder you both. Basically, the story is, you fucked with Tanya's head and I was trying to help her gain control. I sold to her twice. Either way, she was going to get them whether it be from me or someone else."

"Okay. I get that. This isn't about Tanya anymore. This is about your wife and your kid...who's crying by the way. God damn, Em. We're not kids anymore. We're not stupid kids living the single life, fucking girls and kicking them out of our apartment, living however we want to. I've never exactly been able to do whatever I wanted but when Lanie was with friends, I got into some trouble that we both know I shouldn't have been in.

"Fuck, man. Jazz would give his nuts to get his wife pregnant...and keep her that way. I've met someone who I never want to have leave...even when she's the one who wants it. I'm having a kid and Lanie's thirteen fucking years old. Then there's you.

"I remember years ago when you were just getting out of prison for getting involved in the same shit we're here discussing tonight. You got the job you have because I took a chance on you. I told you my story and there aren't even a whole handful of people who know it like you, Bella, and Jazz do. Still, I looked past your shit. Then you met Rosalie and you couldn't figure out how to be in a relationship the way she needed you to be but you fucking loved her. We all know that, and so does she, or you wouldn't still be welcome here."

"So, what are you going to say now? She should have left me?"

"No. If Bella left me over the stupid mistakes I've made, we wouldn't have made it through one year let alone the almost three we've made it through. I just have to say this. If you hurt those two people upstairs, you will never be able to forgive yourself. That night I drank and had my girlfriend up against the fucking wall? I could have really hurt her, Em. I know you love them. You need to get your shit together, though."

"I haven't dealt in almost six months. I'm serious when I say I was smart about it. It was very white collar. When Jackson was born, we were really strapped for cash and I did what I had to do to keep my family comfortable. Edward, Rosalie's parents have raised her with money. You know none of us have that."

"Money shouldn't matter..."

"No," Bella sighed, chiming in and startling both guys, as if they forgot she was still sitting there. "I can see where you feel pressured. You need to keep her in her place, too, Em. I'm not saying to be mean but if she starts acting like money is all she cares about, you have to reign her in. I promise that she loves you desperately. Edward's right, she wouldn't be here with you if that wasn't the case. I'm actually going to run up and check on her."

"So, you hate me now, huh?" Emmett asked, looking down at his hands.

"No. I don't. I just can't...be around you right now. The girls are close and I won't keep Bella from Rosalie. She needs her right now. I think they need each other."

"You're going to be a good dad. Me? I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I never have. When we were younger, I know we did things we shouldn't have, but that's one thing I can say about you no matter what. You raised that girl like your life depended on it just as much as hers did. You're meant to be a husband and a father. I'm not sure how to do either and I already am both of those things. I respect you and I know I deserve for you to hate me. I know you cared..."

Edward closed his eyes, wanting desperately to simply not think about his ex anymore. "It's not..."

"I'm sorry she died, Edward. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I hurt Rosalie with her and I couldn't let her see that it tore me up that she'd killed herself. I can't imagine how you feel."

"Yeah. I have Bella. She's the one I've wanted to be with. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Tanya's dead, though. It...it really does hurt. Conversations that I've had with her still play in my mind once in awhile and it just...fucking hurts. It sucks. It's hard to explain, I guess. I had a lot in common with Tanya."

"Her life was the exact opposite of yours but if you weren't so strong, you could have been in her same shoes."

"Yeah. Look, I don't hate you but I need to just...go. When the girls are ready, just tell Bella to meet me in the car. I'll wait for her out there."

"Okay."

With that little exchange, Edward headed out to his old shitty car and leaned his head back against the seat. He'd expected an angrier exchange, one where he couldn't see past his own childhood to forgive Emmett for being a part of something like this near his own son. He knew in his heart, though, that Emmett would never, ever allow someone to do anything to his son in the way Edward's father had allowed things to be done to him.

He had to get past what he went through. He had to. If his fears were confirmed, and his little sister had been hurt by their father...no matter to what degree, he had to be past what happened to him. She would need him and if he was falling apart over his own past, he'd never be able to support her the way she needed. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sent a text to Reiner on the guy's work cell phone. It was supposed to be used for emergencies only, and Edward couldn't guarantee the guy would get it before the next time they met anyway, but he had to do this before he chickened out.

I'm going to tell you my story. I have to now. This isn't just about me anymore. -Edward

When Bella came out, apologizing for taking so long, he just reached over and took her face in his hands. It wasn't an overly romantic gesture and he didn't do it to be sweet. He just needed to have his lips on hers and his body would have gladly taken more. Still, she had been so sick lately and he'd been so stressed that they hadn't sex in weeks. To his surprise, Bella tried to deepen the kiss but Edward reluctantly pulled away.

"When is Lanie supposed to get home?" she asked, breathing heavily.

"It's only eight. Two hours I'd figure."

"Let's go," Bella breathed, a devilish smirk on her face.

They were halfway home when Edward's phone rang and he handed it to Bella. It was obvious from her tone that it was Lanie and when she hung up, she frowned. "Change of plans. Lanie needs us to pick her up."

Slightly frustrated, Edward let out a sigh. "Dammit."

"I know. She's upset, though. I think something's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, immediately forgetting about his sexual frustration.

"I don't know. Just relax. She sounded like she was trying not to cry. Wasn't Sarah supposed to be bringing her home?"

"Yeah. Think they got into a fight?"

"I don't know. Let's go get her."

Right when they pulled up to the apartment building, Lanie sprinted out of the lobby and towards the car. "What's going on?" Edward asked as soon as she was putting her seat belt on. Her eyes were wide with un-shed tears.

Lanie shook her head quickly, looking out the window and pursing her lips. He let it go, knowing she was upset, but dying to be inside of her head. Bella stayed quiet and Edward hoped it was because not pushing Lanie was the right thing to do. By the time they'd gotten to their own apartment, Lanie still wasn't okay and he could feel it in the way she pushed past both of them to get inside quicker. As he suspected, the second the door was unlocked, she was headed for her bedroom. "Will you talk to her?" he asked Bella.

"I can try. Maybe we should just let her calm down first. I'll go check on her, though."

Bella headed towards Lanie's room but when Lanie wouldn't open the door for her, Edward decided to step in. "Lanie, open the door. Please."

"Just go away."

Defeated, heheaded out to the couch where Bella had walked back to. She looked up at him with a smirk, "Told you so."

"Well, what happened?"

"Edward, I don't know," Bella shook her head, apparently amused.

"Well...well..."

"You need to calm down."

"She's never come home like this before and I want to know what Sarah did to cause..."

"How do you know it was Sarah?"

"I don't."

An hour later, though, he got his answer. When Lanie came down the hallway with her eyes red-rimmed, he heard her sniffling and stood to see what was going on. As they made eye contact, she sped towards him, her arms coming around his waist as her head hit his chest. "I hate him."

His heart stopped for a minute as he hugged her tight and let her cry before asking, "Who?"

"Embry."

Looking over her head to Bella, he raised his eyebrows and mouthed, "What do I do?"

Bella was watching them with tears on her cheeks and just shrugged. He pushed his sister's hair behind her shoulder and pulled back a little to look her in the eyes. "Talk. What did he do? Did he try to push you into something because I'll kill him."

"You can't kill him. You'd go to jail," Lanie argued, completely convinced that her big brother would turn into a murderer for her.

"What did he do?"

"Sarah wanted to wait until my punishment was over to tell me but she said he was sitting with some stupid girl at the movies last weekend. We were there, Edward! I mean, we didn't go to the same movie, but still! Why would he do that?"

"Sweetie," Bella put in, coming over to rub her arm, and raise her own eyebrows at Edward, "boys can be really stupid sometimes. Did you talk to him?"

"No. I'm never speaking to him again."

"Well, I'm going to go get us some ice cream. Why don't you find something to watch on TV?"

"Why can't he be like Eddie? Eddie's, like, entire life is always all about you..."

Despite the situation, Bella couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, sweetie. You're brother is a very good man and he loves me very much but he's not perfect. If I quit talking to him when he did something stupid, I'd never know if the reason he did it was because he misunderstood something or was just trying to help out a friend. Talk to Embry, Lanie. I really think if you call him, not matter what he says, you'll at least know where you stand and feel a little better about things."

With a mouthful of ice cream and balancing three bowls , Edward came back to the couch and asked, "What happened to you two just being friends?"

"We are just friends," Lanie replied like she was completely convinced that was the case.

Bella smiled again and rolled her eyes at Edward. They ate their ice cream in peace and then Bella stood up, with a small frown. "I think tonight might be a good one for you two to just hang out..."

"Bells," Edward began but it was Lanie who protested fiercely.

"No. I want you to stay. It's late." As if realizing how forceful it had come out, Lanie blushed. "I mean, I'm sure Eddie doesn't want you to leave and I thought maybe we could play Scrabble or something."

"Oh, no. Not that game again. Not against you two..."

Bella smiled widely enough to make Edward's protests trail off. There were no words to describe how much he loved her and knowing that his sister wanted her in their lives made him so happy his chest hurt. While Jasper and Emmett had become his brothers in a way, Bella and Lanie were his most important family members. They were his life.

When Bella turned to get the board game from the hall closet, a hand resting gently on her still-flat belly, his breath was taken away as he thought about the little son or daughter she was carrying. Whether it was boy trouble, friends making huge mistakes, or past experiences coming back to haunt them, they could deal if they had each other. He felt it in his bones. When he would sit down with Dr. Reiner in a few days time, he knew he'd draw on this night at home with them to get him through it. After all these years, this could be the one thing that really could carry him through.

Well, at least we have Emmett's side of the story and Edward's ready to really talk to the doc :) Tune in next week to see how his appointment goes... Letzy xx