Sorry! I don't know what else I can say.
A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE ON THE CHARACTERS: I can't recall if I've said this or not, but it is crucial for this chapter and chapters to come that I clarify this. I obviously screwed up the ages of Dorcas, Marlene, Caradoc, everyone that eventually joins the Order. So for the sake of the plot, I am voiding the parts in previous chapters that make them out to be young. CURRENT YEARS (while James and Lily are in their 7th Year): Sturgis Podmore—graduated two years before them, Dorcas—6th, Marlene—6th, Gale Garrison(OC)—6th, Emmeline—7th, Benjy—7th, Edgar—7th, Caradoc—7th. Everyone else in the study group is either 5th, 6th, or 7th year now as well, but a lot of them aren't really that important. All of this will be fixed in the new version of Raindrops. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!
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RECAP: Frank and Alice decide that it is time to take action and talk to Dumbledore about forming a resistance group since the Ministry is corrupt. Lily, James, Stella, and Sirius become involved in a play in Godric's Hollow—Gregory Pearson is also a member of the cast. Bellatrix comes to Peter and offers him a spot among the Death Eaters, telling him she'll return shortly to hear his answer, Amelia Bones goes behind Chief Warlock Umbridge's back to get a law passed so that werewolves can love. Lily and James fight because Lily realizes that she still trusts Greg, and Lily takes it to be the final straw for James. She also learns of the boys Animagus forms. Amelia brings the good news to Remus and Vanessa.
Disclaimer: Even in my long absence, I have not secured the rights to Harry Potter, nor do I own the Little Mermaid. JKR and Hans Christian Anderson are still the head honchos.
I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace,
There's the silence, there's my last chance,
I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me,
Horrified looks from everyone in the room,
But I'm only looking at you.
Chapter Fifty: Between Blood and Fairytales
Peter Pettigrew was not particularly talented. Nor was he fearless, or cunning, or brilliant. But the Sorting Hat placed him in Gryffindor for a reason, and though that reason was unknown to most of the Hogwarts student body, James, Sirius, and Remus saw it right away.
Peter Pettigrew loved his friends.
He respected them, even idolized them at times. James was his hero, Sirius his brother, and Remus his very best friend. The last thing Peter wanted to do was let the three of them down.
So instead of waiting for Bellatrix to return and ask for him to join her, Peter scrambled about the little house early that morning, shoving spare clothes into a traveling bag. He knew his parents were out of danger, as they had traveled to Ireland, but he scribbled a note that told them he was staying with friends and sent his owl away with it. The young wizard took one last glance around his bedroom before turning on his heel and Disapparating to the only safe place he could think of.
Pale pink sunlight was streaming in across the room when Vanessa opened her eyes. But even in her half-asleep daze, she could tell that something was amiss. The windows in her bedroom were above the bed, not in front of it.
She was in Remus' room.
– Flashback –
Amelia Bones had gone, leaving them with a copy of the new law. Remus was allowed to love. They had had taken on the system and won.
Remus was looking down at her in complete disbelief, and Vanessa knew that her expression mirrored his own. She reached out slowly, but without hesitation, and touched his cheek gently for the first time in months; the brunette could not help the large grin that spread across her face. All was well with the world again. It didn't matter that Voldemort was still out there, that everything around them was slowly falling to pieces. They were together, truly, and that was all that mattered.
Remus waited for a moment, as though afraid that someone would come bursting through the door to tear them apart, but when no did, he placed his large, warm hand on top of hers. Vanessa closed her eyes in contentment, the smile still huge on her face.
"We did it," she whispered, excitement and joy causing her entire body to tremble, but Remus held her steady.
"You did it," he corrected, grinning.
And then he was kissing her, and Vanessa felt her knees begin to shake. Had she been able to focus on anything but Remus, she might have thought it amazing that she was strong enough to fight the government, but one boy could make her so weak.
He had one hand around her waist, the other tangled in her hair, and his lips moved across her own with a magical familiarity. Vanessa leaned against his chest, standing on tiptoe and bringing her arms around his neck.
"I love you," she murmured between kisses, and could feel Remus smiling as their lips met again.
"And I love you."
The hand around her waist gently guided Vanessa back into the house, and disappeared briefly to shut the door behind them. She kissed every part of his face she could reach as he led her down the hall, and once they reached his bedroom, they both paused.
"I can't," Remus whispered, breathing hard from lack of oxygen. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "Too many things could go wrong. I love you too much."
"This is enough," Vanessa answered honestly, pressing her lips firmly to his, and encircling his waist with her arms. Without breaking the kiss, Remus led them into the room and lay down on the bed, pulling Vanessa down on top of him.
"Stay with me anyway?" he asked softly, his brown eyes hopeful.
Vanessa smiled and rested her head on his chest, holding herself tightly against him. "Undoubtedly."
– End Flashback –
Vanessa grinned and curled up against the man beside her, feeling his steady heartbeat and loving him more than ever. Leave it to Remus to be a gentleman. And leave it Remus to make everything absolutely perfect.
A shrill scream shattered the peace of the moment and Vanessa sat bolt-upright, her eyes searching the room for the source of the noise. Remus' eyes snapped open as well, and he looked disgruntled for a moment before his eyes landed on the doorway. Vanessa followed his train of sight to find Ms. Lupin standing there, laundry basket spilled across the floor at her feet and a terrified expression of shock on her face.
"GET OUT!" shrieked Remus' normally calm mother, yanking her wand of her pocket and pointing it at Vanessa. "You're going to get him killed!"
"Mum!" Remus responded, pushing Vanessa out of the way of the wand and jumping out of the bed. "Mum, it's all right. It's okay now." He was speaking slowly, quietly, as if to a frightened animal. For indeed, the look in his mother's eyes was the equivalent of nothing else. "The law was changed—Amelia Bones, from the Ministry, she got a bill through that revoked the restrictions on who I can love."
Ms. Lupin, a thin woman in her late forties, with ash blonde hair and fading beauty, did not lower her wand, but she stared between the two teenagers in shock.
"You're lying." Was her only response. Her grey-green eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"I'm not," Remus told her, holding his hands up in a peace-making way. "You know how long Vanessa's been fighting for this, and others finally joined her cause. It was all we needed."
"Chief Warlock Umbridge would never allow it." Time and experience had made the once-kind woman untrusting and defensive.
"He wouldn't," Vanessa answered, moving to stand beside Remus, though she made sure not to touch him for his mother's sake. "But it didn't matter. He doesn't have to sign bills to make them into law. Amelia wrote a draft and got over half of the Wizengamot to sign it. And when she presented it to Minister, he signed as well. That makes it indisputable law."
Ms. Lupin's mouth was hanging open in disbelief, her wand arm dropped and hung limp beside her. "It's changed for everyone?"
Remus and Vanessa nodded.
"But it's been the same for hundreds of years…" she muttered, more to herself than to the two teenagers.
"History has to change sometime," Vanessa told her with a small smile. "We just happened to be lucky enough to see it happen."
Suddenly, Ms. Lupin jumped and wrapped both of them in a hug. She was laughing and crying at the same time, and the joy from the night before bubbled up again in Vanessa's heart.
"Thank you," Remus' mother whispered to her. "Thank you for loving him."
Lily felt her eyes narrow with jealousy as James practiced his part with Daphne Prestwick. The two of them would be performing Sleeping Beauty, and Lily was furious.
"Careful, Lily-flower, I think your hair might be turning green."
She tore her eyes away from Daphne flipping her perfect copper-colored hair over her shoulder to see Sirius looking down at her with a mixture of amusement, pity, and something else on his handsome face.
"Sorry," Lily mumbled, flushing. She crossed her arms over her chest and had to make a conscious effort not to glare at the pair across the theater.
"What are you apologizing to me for?" he asked, watching his best friend over her head. "James is the one who got hurt."
Lily bit her lip. "I know. I didn't mean to. I don't even understand it all myself. Maybe, I thought he could help me."
"Did you even consider what it might do to him to tell him that you trusted Pearson?" Sirius asked, sounding as though he was trying not to growl, and Lily knew that the something else she saw on his face was suppressed anger. "Look, I've rooted for you two all along, but he's my best mate and I'm telling you that you have to stop hurting him."
"I know," Lily repeated, though she could not bring herself to sound angry. Sirius was right. "But don't worry, I don't think I have the power to hurt him anymore. I think I've finally messed things up for good."
Sirius shook his head, sending his black hair flying everywhere. "I know anything about James Potter, it's that he will never give up on Lily Evans."
"Then maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do," Lily told him sadly, turning back to watch James laugh at something Daphne had said.
"Maybe you're not as brilliant as we all thought," countered Sirius. "He's not looking at her, you know. He's looking at whatever it is about her that reminds him of you."
Lily snapped her head back around to look at Sirius, but he was already across the room, talking to Stella and Ian Prestwick, Daphne's brother, as though the conversation Lily had just had with him had never even taken place.
"So, Cinderella," came a voice from her other side—Greg Pearson. "Are you ready to be my princess?"
Lily snorted and turned to face him. He was grinning, looking like the Greek god he had always appeared to be, but that image now only made him more revolting.
"Don't call me Cinderella," she said, and followed him off to run lines.
Chief Warlock Umbridge had friends in low places. Murderers, thieves, wands-for-hire. And he was not afraid to use them. A discreet owl, a bag of coins, and the mission was set into motion.
It was simple, really, almost laughable to the more experienced assassins. But people would do anything for money, so they took the job without hesitation.
Amelia Bones was twenty-two years old. She lived alone in an apartment on one of the back roads outside London, and was unemployed, though she had once worked for the Wizengamot. She knew law, not action, so of the three men Umbridge hired, only the youngest was sent. It would be too easy.
When Cado Dearborn Apparated outside the building, he could see the witch standing at her sink, directing the dishes to wash themselves. The man grinned to himself, drew his wand, and Apparated again—right into Amelia Bones' kitchen.
Peter threw his bag on the floor in the small room at the Leaky Caldron and flopped down on the bed. The old, rusty springs creaked in protest, but he ignored them.
The doors were locked and reinforced, the windows had all the curtains drawn, and Peter could only sit there and hope that Bellatrix would not guess where he had gone. He knew that he could not go to the Lupins' or the Potters', for that was the first place the Death Eaters would look for him, and he prayed that once she realized he was not in either place, Bellatrix would leave his friends' families alone. It was the best he knew how to do.
Luckily, Tom, the innkeeper and bartender, had not recognized him, so Peter had told the man that his name was Euan Ackerley, who was a Hufflepuff in his year.
Finally, Peter was able to let out the panic that he had been trying to hold back since that morning. Trembling, he held onto one of the moth-eaten pillows that was placed on the bed and tried to stifle sobs.
Peter Pettigrew was not fearless, not by any means, but he was a Gryffindor, and as such, he moved in spite of fear. But he could feel that thin layer of courage deteriorating in the dimly lit room.
"With us, you would be an asset, not a liability…"
He shook his head, trying to erase the words that Bellatrix had so effectively burned into his mind.
"You would make the perfect spy…"
"No," Peter said as firmly as he could into the emptiness of the room, but his voice was breaking. "No."
"We need you, Peter…"
And though the young wizard was strong enough to resist while he was alone and partially safe, those words—spoken from the mouth of a murderer—would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Gideon and Fabian Prewett were first on the list.
The twins had left Hogwarts the year before and entered into the Auror Academy straight away, where they both excelled in nearly everything they tried.
Gideon was tall and commanding. He had been Head Boy in his seventh year and had the calm, controlled demeanor that was necessary for those in that position. The only thing he was unable to manage was his mess of flaming red hair, the signature mark of the three Prewett children—or adults, now, as Molly, the youngest, already had three sons of her own.
Fabian, his brother, was the more vivacious of the two. He stood an inch shorter than his brother, but what he lacked in height (which was not much at all), he made up for in personality. Loud and rambunctious, he had been a favorite of many students of Hogwarts, and had been a role model for the Marauders in their early years. He had held the position of Quidditch Captain since the age of sixteen, and became a respected leader and friend.
The twins were equally brave, equally loyal, and equally loved by all. They were said to be some of the best wizards of the age, and they continually lived up to that praise.
Which is why they were the perfect place to start.
"Do you think they'll even remember us?" Alice asked quietly when she and Frank appeared on the doorstep of the Prewett home. It was a nondescript house on a unremarkable street, with blue shutters and a porch lamp that only gave off dim light.
"Sure they will," Frank told her with a smile. "Gideon and Fabian were popular, but they never thought of themselves as too good for anyone."
Knowing this was true, Alice was reassured, and she once more let the excitement of forming a secret rebellion overcome her as she knocked quickly on the door.
It was Fabian who answered, no doubt having sprung up from whatever he had been doing and dashed down the hall as quickly as he could.
His freckled face broke into a grin at the sight of the two of them on his doorstep. "Oi, Gideon! Guess who it is?" he yelled over his shoulder.
Gideon appeared from the living room, though he had the dignity to refrain from sprinting to the door. His smile was identical to his brother's.
"Frank," he greeted congenially. "Alice, good to see you."
"You, too, Gideon," Frank said, shaking his hand.
"What's going on?" asked Fabian curiously as he closed the door and followed the other three further into the house.
Frank and Alice looked at each other before glancing around the hallway. It was lined with photographs of the Prewetts (and now the Weasleys as well) and their many friends, so the young witch and wizard were unsure of who else might be listening.
"Ah," said Gideon, catching on immediately. "Come this way."
As he led them into the kitchen, Alice saw him exchange a look with his brother, who understood the situation right away. The dishes were piled high in the sink, and were slowly washing themselves, as if it was the last thing they wanted to do. But the rest of the room was quite clean (no doubt Gideon's doing) and welcoming.
"Through the pantry, then," Fabian told them, opening the wooden door on the far end of the room and bowing them through.
Alice looked up at the twins skeptically, for the pantry was no more than a few feet deep and crammed with food. There was no way the four of them could fit inside.
"Think Nine and Three-Quarters," Gideon and Fabian said together, winking silmultaneously.
Understanding, Alice walked straight at the back wall, but found that she did not run into the canned tomatoes that sat on the shelf. Instead, she opened her eyes to see a dark room of unknown size.
"Lumos," said one of the twins, appearing beside her a second later.
The room was lit faintly then, and Alice could see that it was quite large, though most of the space was taken up by dusty boxes and old, tattered armchairs.
"Have a seat," said the other brother, Fabian, she could now see, as he appeared behind Gideon, followed closely by Frank.
The four of them made their way into the room, lighting lamps as they went. Alice chose a maroon armchair that looked less filthy than the others.
"Wait! Not there—" Gideon began, but it was too late. With a large swallowing noise, the chair folded up around her and surrounded her in an extremely uncomfortable darkness. Her knees were an inch from her nose, and her arms were pinned to her sides.
"Get me out!" Alice called, and she could hear Fabian's muffled laughter from outside the chair.
"Just a second, Alice," Gideon told her with an aggravated sigh, but she heard the smile in his voice.
Suddenly, the chair started to shake, chuckling as it did so. After a moment, it was full-out laughing, and eventually, it spit Alice out again.
"Ah!" the little blonde yelled as she tumbled out onto the floor. Rubbing her sore nose, she asked, "What kind of chair is that?"
"My own invention," Fabian claimed proudly as Frank pulled her to her feet. "You have to tickle it to get out. What'd you think?"
"Horrible," Alice told him with a grin. "Utterly revolting."
"Excellent," came Fabian's reply.
"Everyone has to have a hobby," said Gideon, shaking his head in amusement and leading them across the room to another set of chairs. "He hasn't gotten to these yet."
Gingerly, Alice poked a midnight blue chair that had stuffing pouring out of the back. When it did not try to bite her hand off, she sat down on the edge of the seat, which made the brothers laugh.
"So, what was it you wanted?" Gideon asked inquisitively as the three boys sat down as well.
Frank took a final look around the room, and deciding it was secure, began to explain. "You know Voldemort is gaining power, and I'm sure you've realized that the Wizengamot isn't doing much about it."
Fabian huffed indignantly. "Damn right they're not," he agreed. "Everyone in the Auror Department is working until they drop to capture the Death Eaters, but the court sets them free."
"They give so much money to the Ministry that the judges are afraid to touch them," Gideon explained, a bit more composed than his brother, though his anger still burned in his crystal blue eyes.
Alice and Frank nodded.
"We know," Alice told them. "That's why we're here. We want to do something about it."
"What did you have in mind?" the twins asked together.
"We've spoken to Dumbledore," said Frank. "And we want to start a group, of sorts, that can fight the Death Eaters without having to get involved with the Wizengamot."
"Vigilante justice?" supplied Fabian. "I like it."
"As do I," agreed Gideon. "But I don't know that it will work."
"Why not?"
Gideon ran a hand through his unruly hair, reminding Alice temporarily of James, before he spoke. "The Ministry is going to want to put an end to it as soon as they hear about it. They want to be in control, and I imagine that someone outside the Ministry trying to do its job for it will not sit well with people like the Chief Warlock or even Scrimgeour."
"The Head of the Auror Department?" asked Fabian. "But surely he just wants this end like the rest of us do. I don't think he would have a problem with it."
But Gideon was shaking his head long before Fabian finished. "He's been in the Ministry too long, just like the rest of them. He likes the power too much now to give it up to some kids on the streets."
"Then we make sure no one knows what's going on," Alice said decidedly. "The Ministry doesn't have to know, and even if they heard of something, they're too high and mighty to think that we would be a threat."
"We'll just have to keep up the illusion of incapability," added Frank, watching the brothers closely.
"Well I'm in," Fabian told them immediately. "I'm ready to fight, and Scrimgeour has been keeping us locked up in training for too long."
"He's been training Aurors for years," Gideon told him impatiently, as though Fabian made such comments often. "I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Besides, what if we do decide to do this and get caught? We could be kicked out of training entirely and never be real Aurors."
"So what?" Fabian countered, standing up and pacing back in forth in front of the three of them. "Does it really matter if they give us a badge and a cubical in the Ministry building? The whole reason we signed up in the first place was to do everything we could to end this war, and now a perfect opportunity has come right to our door and you're questioning it?"
"Someone has to think about it," Gideon argued. "You're just going to jump into this without thinking of the consequences."
"Because they don't matter," Fabian told him. "Doing the right thing, that's what's important. I don't care if I lose my job. I don't care if they lock me up for trying, because if I can make one shred of difference in this war, I'm going to do it."
"Tell me that again when we're in Azkaban," Gideon challenged, but they all knew that it was his way of finally agreeing. "For now, just keep your head down as best as you can. That's the only way this will work."
Fabian grinned widely, and Alice could not help but smile as well. With the Prewett brothers on her side, she knew that the rest would come without trouble. Gideon and Fabian were leaders in their generation, and people would follow them anywhere.
To her credit, Amelia did not scream when she saw him.
"Cado?" she asked, trying to hide the fear she felt at being held at wandpoint, her own wand was clasped tightly in the intruder's free hand. She knew his face, they had been at Hogwarts together, though he was a year younger than she. "What are you doing?"
Cado grinned manically. His entire demeanor was that of someone who had broken, but had not yet realized it. There were dark circles under his sunken eyes, his hair was too long and looked as though it did not get washed often enough, his sharp-featured face had lost the brightness that once found its home in his warm smile.
He rolled up the fraying sleeves of his robes—they looked as though they were from his Hogwarts uniform, but he had torn off the Ravenclaw emblem that used to sit proudly on his chest. "Haven't you heard, Millie?" he asked in a hoarse voice. "Don't you care what happens to heartbroken people?"
There was a pang in Amelia's own heart at this statement. "I never meant to hurt you, Cado," she told him softly, silently willing him to believe it. "But I was leaving. I had a job in London. I couldn't stay in Hogsmeade for a year waiting for you."
Cado laughed, but the sound was humorless. "Were you always so career-driven, Millie? You'd think I might have noticed."
"You knew from the beginning that I was going to work as soon as I left school," she told him, trying to keep the desperation from her voice.
"But what about when I left?" Cado exclaimed, discarding the two wands he held and grabbing her shoulders instead. He was clearly unhinged. "What then? Why didn't you look for me? Why didn't you answer my letters?"
"I was busy, Cado," Amelia admitted, though she loathed herself for having to say it. "I didn't have time for—"
"Shut up!" yelled Cado, pushing her back against the wall. "Just shut up! You're a heartless bitch, you know that? I don't know why I wasted so much time chasing you, Millie. But it doesn't matter anymore." He paused, a sick triumph gleaming in his green eyes. "I've found a job of my own. And it's time that you're the one hurt because of it."
Amelia tried to scream, but Cado's large, dry hand covered her mouth, stifling any sound.
"They told me to kill you," he explained calmly, as though he was talking about something as trivial as the weather, and dragged her back to where the wands lay forgotten. "And I will, be sure of it, but I want you to hurt first. I want you to feel everything you made me feel."
Terrified, Amelia struggled to get away from him, but even in a withered state, he was stronger than she was.
"Don't try to fight it, Millie," he cooed, grabbing the wands off the floor. "I survived the pain, didn't I? I'm sure you will, too. In fact, I'm counting on it. I want to make sure that I get to kill you when I want to."
"Lily, have you and James run your lines for The Little Mermaid, yet?" asked Neil Harris.
She had been sitting by herself on the edge of the stage, watching the others rehearse and silently fuming whenever James spoke to Daphne.
"No," she answered bleakly.
Neil was did not have to especially perceptive to understand at least part of the situation.
"Daphne's not his type," he told Lily reassuringly, taking a seat beside her.
Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Have you met James?" Daphne was short, curvy, but thin, with long coppery hair and a pretty face. At one point, James would have been all over her, and Lily suspected that they were moving back toward that time.
"I have," said Neil with a small laugh. "Which is exactly why I say she's not his type. James doesn't have a type. He has a Lily. Nothing else."
"Right," Lily snorted. "Because I'm so good for him."
"Love hurts," he stated simply. "Why do you think we're doing this show? It portrays love as painful, but wonderful. People take hope in that."
Lily sighed. "Sirius wants me to keep fighting for James," she told Neil, praying that he had advice to offer. "But I always just end up hurting him. Wouldn't it be better for him if I just stayed out of his life?"
"I think it should be his decision," Neil answered honestly. "Now, get over there and practice your lines."
With that, he bounced away to talk to Clara Dove and Dylan Knight about The Princess and the Pea.
Steeling her will, Lily hopped off the stage and made her way to James and Daphne.
"And then, the flats fell over!" Daphne was saying, and her story was obviously comical by her overdone expression and the laugh in James' smile. "Ian and Jill were mortified when the audience saw what they had been doing!"
"That's awful!" James exclaimed, now laughing loudly.
Feeling awkward, Lily tapped approached the pair and cleared her throat.
"Lily," James greeted her, but his smile lacked its usual warmth.
"Neil wants us to practice The Little Mermaid," she told him, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I'll catch you two later then," Daphne told them brightly, clearly choosing to ignore the unease of the situation, and walked gracefully across the theater to talk to her brother.
"About earlier—"James began, but Lily thought she knew where he was going and cut him off.
"I know, I won't tell anyone about you, Sirius, and Peter."
"That wasn't what—"
"Come on," she said quickly, not wanting to hear him tell her goodbye. She was sure that his last hug had been farewell, and she wanted to keep it as the perfectly broken memory that it was. "Let's do your scene on the boat first, yeah?"
"Okay…" James agreed, giving her a strange look, but he didn't argue.
Lily was acting bizarre.
That was all James knew. He thought that they had returned to friendly terms after that morning, but he must have been wrong. She seemed to want to speak with him as little as possible.
Admittedly, she might think that he was still angry about the fact that she trusted Greg Pearson, and if that was the case, she was right. Actually, he was infuriated. But it did not really matter. James had decided to try to think about the entire thing in a more mature fashion than he was used to, and came to the conclusion that Lily was not to blame.
Not entirely, at least.
The majority of the blame, James thought, lay on the shoulders of Greg Pearson himself, since he was the one who all but seduced Lily in the first place, and then proceeded to break her heart, rape her friend, and join the most evil wizard of the age. It was Pearson's fault because he let Lily get close to him, he wound his way into her heart and dug a hole there, and it was not completely Lily's fault that Pearson was able to maintain some hold on her.
The rest of the blame, which did not fall on Lily or Greg, fell on James himself.
Perhaps—though the thought would never cross his mind—it was just James' self-sacrificing nature that caused him to hold himself responsible. But his reasons were irrelevant. He saw it as his own fault that Lily had so readily accepted Greg Pearson, in a sense, at least.
For the last two years, James had tried to be nothing but the person Lily would want, but it was possible that he had messed up any chance he might have had by being the arrogant bully that he had been for the four years prior to his change of heart. Maybe Lily had just needed someone, and did not trust James to be that person because he had not made a good first impression. And it was likely that she still thought of his affection as an act, since he had been known to go to any lengths to pull off a prank.
But Pearson had been a blank slate, which is why she gave him that chance over James. And James could never hate Lily for that, not when he knew that he might have had a chance if he had been decent person all along. He could only hate the situation that everyone's wrong choices had brought them too.
And because of this mature thought process, it appeared that, somewhere between troll blood and Muggle fairytales, James Potter had grown up.
Since he had become an Animagus, Peter had noticed a few subtle changes in his human form. His features had gradually become slightly more pointed, his initial reaction to things was now always flight rather than fight, and his hearing and eyesight had improved quite a bit.
It was because of this that he heard the muffled scream.
Peter jumped, ready to flee the room, but he realized that the noise had come from across the street. He dashed to the window and peeked out the curtain to see what was going on in the apartment building across the street.
Two figures, a tall man and a smaller woman, were struggling in one of the second level flats. The man had the obvious advantage based on size alone, but the woman seemed to be holding her own. There was a flash of red light and Peter ducked out of the window automatically, but the spell came nowhere near his room at the Leaky Caldron.
So they're a witch and a wizard, Peter thought, peering back out through the curtain.
A flash of blue, another muffled scream, then all was quiet for a moment. Peter thought the woman was surely dead, but in the faint evening light, he could see her struggle to her feet, and she now had a wand in her hand.
Her mouth moved, but Peter could not hear what she was saying. She appeared to be telling the man, who stood somewhere left of the window, something important. As soon as she was done, she turned and fled the room, and exited the building a moment later. Once Peter could get a good look at her, he noticed the wide, square jaw and the torn, but once stately, black robes. She looked vaguely familiar, but Peter could not place her before she had glanced down the street and Apparated with a crack.
There was no sign of the man, and Peter wondered briefly if he should go check to make sure he was all right, but decided against it. After all, Peter was just a liability.
Caradoc Dearborn had been thirteen when his older brother, Cado, had disappeared. But Caradoc was quite independent and had never particularly looked up to his brother, so the disappearance was not entirely devastating. He was, however, clever and observant, and had chosen to learn from his brother's mistakes.
So, at thirteen, Caradoc had sworn to never fall in love.
He dated, naturally. After all, he did share the Dearborns' tragically good looks, and he could be quite charming when he chose to be, but he had never truly let anyone close enough to touch his heart.
Never, at least, until he met Waverly Rivers.
She was not at all what he would have wanted, but she was everything he needed in his life. Beautiful, of course, with a Chinese mother and English father, she had just the right balance of characteristics—big brown eyes that smiled when she did, perfect black hair, pale skin, full pink lips, a round face, and petite structure. She was intelligent, too, though she often did not show just how smart she was. But the Sorting Hat had placed her in Gryffindor, so Caradoc knew that there was even more to her than meets the eye.
Originally, she had shown no interest in him, and that had suited Caradoc just fine, since he did not really care who he dated. But once day, at the end of their Fourth Year, they had been paired together for a Charms project. They had both been dating other people at the time. He, Vanessa Reese of Gryffindor, and she, Amos Diggory of Hufflepuff, but both relationships were completely forgotten within the first hour of working together. They had connected, plain and simple, and that fact absolutely terrified Caradoc.
He had tried to get away, but found that he simply could not. It was passion in the purest sense of the word, and after he had met her, there was no going back.
They had broken up with Vanessa and Amos within a week, and met in secret whenever they could. The secrecy that surrounded their initial meetings was merely for the sake of the reputations of all four people involved, but they soon discovered that they enjoyed the thrill of a clandestine relationship too much to give it up.
It was easy, really. She pretended to pine after James Potter, who was the type of guy that was used to such a thing and would think nothing of it, and he flirted in plain sight as often as possible. It worked so well, no one was the wiser, not even two and a half years later.
Which was why, when Caradoc and Waverly heard the front door of the Dearborn house fly open that night, Waverly immediately jumped behind the leather couch in the living room to hide from whoever it might be.
His heart beating fast with adrenaline, Caradoc drew his wand and hurried into the parlor to see who it could be. His parents were not supposed to be home until late, and he had no siblings but the long-since presumed dead Cado.
So, naturally, he was shocked when it was that very brother who stumbled through the door and collapsed on the rug.
"Cado?" Caradoc choked out, frozen to the spot in the doorway. From there, he could observe the mess that was the Dearborns' prodigal son.
Cado had lost weight since the last time he had been home, and faint stubble grew on his chin from days without shaving. He was unkempt to the extreme, and his green eyes—exactly the same shade as Caradoc's—were vacant and frightened. There were fresh cuts and a few bruises were forming along his arms and around his right eye.
"Hey, little brother," Cado greeted in a would-be casual voice, but the illusion was ruined when he promptly vomited all over the hallway.
"What are you doing here?" asked Caradoc, moving cautiously forward, avoiding the mess, and pulling Cado to his feet. "What's happened to you?"
"Long story," said Cado, wiping his mouth on the too-short sleeve of his robes and allowing Caradoc to lead him into the kitchen.
The younger brother narrowed his eyes. "Well, if you want my help, you better start talking."
Cado seemed to ponder this for a moment, but was interrupted by another slew of vomit. After he was finished heaving up bile, he looked up, red-eyed, and nodded.
Caradoc nodded as well and flicked his wand to clear away the pool of sick. "Waverly?" he called back into the living room. "I'm going to need your help."
"No, no, no," said Neil, shaking his head disapprovingly. "This is a story of pain. It's our grand finale—the only fairytale without a happy ending. I need you to show me that you're breaking, Lily. And James, you're in love with Clara! She's the girl of your dreams, got it?"
Lily and James nodded, not looking at each other.
"Good," stated Neil. "Now prove it."
Lily closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and repeated to herself the only things that mattered at the moment.
I am playing Ariel. Ariel is a mermaid. She gave up everything to be with the man she loves. She lived in constant pain for him. He chose another girl. They get married and Ariel is left alone.
When she opened her eyes to run the wedding scene again, Lily was ready. It should not be hard, should it? Had she not just put herself through a similar ordeal?
Just imagine losing James for good, she told herself silently.
"If there are any objections," said Dylan Knight, who was playing the minister. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
Lily kept silent, for the little mermaid was unable to speak for most of the show, since she had given it up to become human.
"Then do you, Prince Eric, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
James looked down at Clara, a cute girl with curly red-brown hair and an infectious smile. He was clearly trying to appear as though he was in love with her, and after a moment, he managed something that might have passed as strong affection. Were things normal (though, with Lily and James, was there ever a normal?), Lily would have had to stifle a laugh. But instead, she imagined the event to be real, and it was not all that difficult to look devastated.
"I do," said James firmly, and a tear of true sadness made its way down Lily's cheek.
"And do you, Princess Carlotta, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
Clara's smiled widened and she nodded. "I do."
"You have given and pledged your promises to each other, and have declared your everlasting love," continued Dylan. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Lily actually had to look away, and bit her lip to keep from screaming.
"Perfect, Lily!" Neil exclaimed, interrupting the scene as James and Clara broke apart. "James, you still could use some work."
Lily tried to smile as James looked indignant and then she hopped down off the stage.
"Is it hard?"
Lily turned around to find Stella looking at her pityingly.
"W-what?" Lily stuttered, attempting to compose herself and hastily brushing a stray tear away.
Stella gave her a look. "You know what."
"Hardest thing I've ever done," Lily admitted to the blonde after a moment of indecision. "To just watch, I mean."
Stella nodded in understanding, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear. "Funny how being passive is even more difficult than taking action."
The blonde paused, and Lily could tell she was choosing her words before she spoke them—classic Stella. "Why are you doing this, Lily?" Was the simple question she ultimately decided on.
It was kind of amazing, Lily thought, that she had only met Stella a year before, and had only truly known her for a matter of months, yet she could hear all of the unspoken words that her friend was thinking. Why are you hurting James? Why are you hurting yourself? You've got to stop being stubborn and just tell him you love him. You've been given love—that's a gift—why are you rejecting it? It's not worth it to let James go, you'll regret that for the rest of your life.
"I just want to stop hurting him," Lily told her. It was all she knew to say, for she had no other answer.
"Do you think James cares if you hurt him?" Stella asked, crossing her arms. "Love's a gift, Lily, and James knows that. He's not going to give up just because it hurts, and neither should you."
"I knew you'd say something like that," said Lily, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "But what if it is worth it to me? What if I'm okay with hurting as long as he doesn't have to anymore?"
"Removing yourself from his life isn't doing him any favors," the blonde insisted. "Losing love hurts a lot more than having it. It doesn't matter if the pain is almost killing you right now, I guarantee that it will kill at least one of you if you leave. Causing yourself pain indirectly brings pain to him, too, even if you can't see that."
"It's just so hard, Stella," Lily explained. "We've had so many highs and lows, before there even was an us it was difficult. There's just so much emotion either way. It would be much easier for both of us if we just—"
"What have I always said?" Stella interrupted, giving Lily the hard look of someone who had seen too much and hurt too much to not know exactly what she was talking about.
Lily thought for a second, thinking back to a moment in a park that seemed to be eons ago. "Love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it," she quoted, knowing the phrase by heart, but never really understanding what it meant.
"Exactly," said Stella, putting her hands on her hips. "Tell me I'm wrong."
Lily glared at her briefly, but soon lost resolve. "I can't."
"I know," Stella told her, her face softening and she put an arm around Lily's shoulders. "But right or wrong, they're just words until you do something with them."
Stella might be preachy at times, but at least she always knew what she was talking about, Lily decided. Perhaps it would do her some good to finally turn those words into something with meaning.
"Maybe if we keep this up, Lily-flower will finally give in."
"My thoughts exactly," Stella replied after Lily had walked away, turning to where Sirius was painting one of the backdrop flats. He had a look on his face that Stella knew meant that he had something else on his mind. "What's wrong, Sirius?"
He quickly wiped the expression away. "Nothing, I'm just worried about our favorite couple-to-be."
"I'm sure," Stella said sarcastically. But she moved towards him and searched his eyes, and sure enough, there was suppressed pain in their grey depths. "You can tell me, you know," she added softly.
Sirius ran a hand through his hair. It seemed that he had picked something up from James. "It's really not important," he insisted, but glanced around the room anyway, so Stella knew he would tell her. "It's Regulus."
"Your brother?"
Sirius nodded. "The only reason I ever would have gone home was for him. I wish I could have brought him with me, but since Malfoy Manor, I betting he's too far gone."
Stella bit her lip and leaned against a dry part of the flat. "Maybe he has more of you in him than you think."
"And what if he doesn't?" Sirius asked, abandoning the paint and looking at her desperately. "What if he's like Bellatrix and the others?"
"I don't know, Sirius," she told him truthfully. "If that's the case, maybe you just have to hope that he's a coward, and that he won't act on his beliefs."
"That's a pretty shitty best option," said Sirius bluntly.
"This is a pretty shitty situation," Stella responded automatically. "It's war, Sirius. Only the casualties aren't really deaths as much as they are people's souls, you know?"
"But what if I could have saved him?"
Stella sighed. She hated being so negative, but she also knew that someone had to be realistic with Sirius. "Then you missed your chance."
Sirius growled, but Stella continued before he could argue.
"But perhaps it's not too late to bring him back."
He raised his eyebrows. "Do you really think so?"
"I do," she told him with certainty. "But it'll probably take a lot of work. Do you think it's worth it?"
"He's my brother," Sirius told her quietly, shaking his head. "And I know I'm living proof that what kind of blood you have doesn't matter, but still…"
"He's your brother," Stella supplied, smiling up at him. "You have try."
"Yeah," he nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. "Thanks for understanding."
Stella's smile widened. "That's what I'm here for."
Waverly Rivers had always been a brilliant healer, so she was glad that she had stayed with Caradoc rather than Apparating away as soon as they heard the door open.
She assumed a business-like air and stripped Cado down to his underwear. As he began his story, she cleaned the blood away from his body. Caradoc paced the room, unsure of what to do.
"Once I knew Millie was gone for good," said Cado, wincing as Waverly wiped the blood from a particularly deep cut. "I didn't know what to do with myself. I had always planned to get a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, so that I could be with her all the time, but once she left, I couldn't even go into the Ministry because I was afraid I would see her. She was everything to me, I didn't know how to let her go."
Waverly ran her wand along the gashes, sealing them cleanly. Her techniques never left scars. She absorbed herself in the task at hand, because she had no idea what to say to this boy. She did not even know if she was supposed to like him or hate him. Caradoc rarely spoke of him, and Waverly had never pried.
"But that was years ago," snapped Caradoc. "Why didn't you come back sooner?"
Cado shook his head. "Dad expected me to get a job and support myself, and I wasn't going to come back until that happened."
"It still hasn't?" Caradoc's voice was cold.
"It did," Cado corrected, but his tone was not aggressive. "But I knew Dad wouldn't approve, and Mum would hate me for it."
Waverly felt her eyes narrow in suspicion, but she remained silent.
"What are you talking about?" Caradoc demanded instead.
"What do you think, Caradoc? You know I was always talented when it came to Defense. It turns out I was even better at the Dark Arts themselves, so I offered up my services to anyone who would pay." Cado looked only slightly ashamed, but mostly tired.
Caradoc's look of disgust went for both himself and for Waverly. "What the hell is wrong with you?" His voice was rising to a shout and his pacing quickening. "That's worse than becoming a Death Eater!"
Cado looked abashed. "I don't kill people because of their blood!"
"Exactly!" exclaimed Caradoc. "You kill them for no reason at all. Do you really think that's better?"
"There's no prejudice, at least."
"There's no belief at all," said Waverly, speaking for the first time. Her voice was monotone, and she tried to keep the glare from her eyes. "If you're going to do something as drastic as killing someone—or many people, for that matter—you have to believe that you're doing it for the right reasons, not because you want the money."
"But the Death Eaters are doing it for the wrong reasons," Cado argued, a bit of a manic gleam entering his eyes and causing Waverly to back away to stand beside Caradoc.
"It doesn't matter," said the younger Dearborn. "They think it's right, and they're acting because of that. It's horrible and disgusting, but it's better than killing anyone just because you're getting paid for it."
"I just did what I had to do."
"Bullshit. You could have come home. We would have helped you, Cado!" Caradoc told him, and Waverly resumed healing the last of the cuts before moving onto the bruises.
"Dad wouldn't have," Cado told him. "You were too young and self-centered to care, but he always liked you better. He expected me to be as perfect as he thought you were. I was going to prove to him that I was just as good or die trying."
Waverly watched Caradoc carefully, judging his reaction. His dark eyebrows were pulled together, a muscle in his jaw working furiously as it so often did when he was thinking hard.
"I would've helped you, then," he said. "I don't know what gave you that impression of Dad, but he was the worst of us after you left. He never believed the rumors that you were dead. Mum and I gave up on you. He never really did."
Cado looked unsure of whether or not to believe his younger brother, so he just sighed and turned so Waverly could heal the large bruise blooming across his shoulder. "It's too late now, Doc. Maybe I've made mistakes, but I have to accept them and get on with life."
"You're not going back?" Caradoc asked, though judging by the hardness in his eyes, he already knew the answer.
"My life is there, now," said Cado. "I have friends, a home. It's my job."
"Look at what your job did to you," stated Waverly, making sure to press her wand on the bruise harder than was necessary to prove her point.
"It was different this time," Cado sighed.
"How?" the other two asked together.
"They asked me to kill Amelia."
"What? Why?" Caradoc demanded while Waverly asked, "You didn't did you?"
"No, I didn't," Cado admitted. "But I was going to. I wanted to make her hurt the way she made me hurt. I thought it would bring me closure."
"Then you must not have loved her like you thought you did," Caradoc told him, coming forward to put an arm around Waverly's waist. "If you did, you would never have wanted to hurt her, it doesn't matter what she did to you."
"Yeah?" Cado snorted. "You just wait until this little bird decides to fly away."
"I would rather kill myself than hurt her," Caradoc told him resolutely. "That's what love is. This," he gestured to his brother's emaciated and broken body, "is not love."
Cado laughed humorlessly. "You've got a lot to learn, little brother. There are different kinds of relationships, different kinds of love. Leave it to you to get the perfect, fairytale kind."
Waverly met Caradoc's eyes and gave him a small smile.
"Hardly," said the latter. "But I've finally figured out that the trouble is what makes it worth it."
"Save it," Cado told him wearily. As soon as the worst of his wounds were sealed, he stood and began gathering his clothes off the floor and pulling them back on.
"Cado, you're sick," Waverly murmured, attempting to clean the vomit off his robes with her wand. "You should stay here tonight."
"And let my dad see me like this?" he snorted. "No thanks. Besides, I have a job to finish and another to plan"
"Another?" asked Caradoc, glaring daggers at his brother. "You mean to tell me that you're not only going to murder the girl you claim to love, but you're going to continue with all of this?
"I told you, I have friends. This is my life now," Cado's voice suddenly sounded a thousand years old. "Not everyone gets a happy ending."
(Sunday, August 28, 1977—One Month Later)
It was the last night of the show before the school year began, and there was a certain excitement among the actors. Lily watched through the curtain as the theater filled with familiar faces after the brief intermission—Remus, Vanessa, Mary (who was dragging along three younger sisters), Sirius, Alice, Frank, Marlene, Dorcas, and the Potters. Peter was the only person absent.
"Thrilling isn't it?" a velvety smooth voice whispered in her ear, and Lily turned to see Greg standing directly behind her.
"Get away from me," Lily commanded, making to sidestep him, but his tall, muscular form blocked her path.
"Lily, Lily, Lily, I was hoping we had gotten past this," he said, feigning a hurt expression, which Lily ignored.
"You're a Death Eater," she hissed, once more trying and failing to get around him. "Constance is dead because of you. You raped Stella! You used me and hurt me and my friends. How do you expect me to just 'get past' all of that?"
Greg was pressing forward, corralling her into one of the dressing rooms. "Come on, Lils, just give me one more chance. I swear I'll be good this time."
Time. It was definitely time.
"No!" Lily yelled as her back was pressed painfully against a vanity in the dressing room. "But there is something that I've been wanting to say you."
"What's that, love?" asked Greg, standing barely an inch away from her.
Lily took a deep breath, fully ready to finally let him go. "Believe it or not, you really broke my heart, Greg," she began. He made to speak, but Lily cut him off. "I should never have let you have that power over me, and I should have realized from the start that you were using that power all along. When people care about each other, really love each other, they don't want power at all. They hate having control over the other person."
"Learn that from Potter, huh?" Greg snorted.
"Yes!" Lily told him, crossing her arms and glaring up at him. "James has taught me a lot, actually. But most of all, I've realized that he deserves much better than me. My heart's just a bunch of useless pieces thanks to you. James should have someone with a perfect heart, but he still seems to want me—or at least he used to. I don't really know anymore, but I do know that I have to fight for him like he always fought for me."
"You know," said Greg, not paying much attention to what she was saying as his hand found his way to her waist. "You're even hotter when you're angry."
"Don't touch me!" Lily yelled, throwing his hand off of her. "I don't want to have anything else to do with you, Gregory Pearson." Her voice was quiet now, but deadly serious. "I want you to die a painful death and burn in hell."
"How do you plan to make that happen?" Greg asked, roughly holding her head still as he leaned closer.
Lily gulped, afraid for the first time since the start of the conversation. "Don't test me, Greg." She reached for her wand, which was tucked into her shorts at her back, but he was too fast. His warm lips were on hers, his hands holding her arms to her sides.
"Mhfff!" Lily exclaimed. "Ger orff!"
"Mmm," Greg moaned, trailing his lips down her neck. "I've missed this."
"I'll scream," Lily threatened, but Greg just laughed. "I've already thought of that, love. The room is soundproof."
His hands were just at the right position to hold her arms tight and still run his thumbs across her breasts, and he was taking full advantage of that.
But she was Lily Evans, and she did not go down without a fight. She brought her knee up between his legs as hard as she could, crippling him momentarily, and ran to the door.
Once in the hall again, she could see James' head disappearing around a corner. He must have seen the whole thing—or part of it, at least.
"James!" she yelled, running to catch up with him and wondering why he had not tried to stop Greg.
When she reached him, he spun around, anger and pain competing for dominance on his face.
"It's one thing to trust him, Lily," he began before Lily could say anything. "But don't tell me that you're falling in love with him!"
"I—what?" asked Lily, taken aback. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw you kissing him," said James, glaring down at her.
"Me? Me?" exclaimed Lily indignantly. "I was trying to get him off of me!"
James crossed his arms and refused to meet her eye. "Not very hard, apparently."
Lily stared at him, open-mouthed. "You clearly didn't see much, then."
"Did you expect me to stick around and watch?" James snapped.
"I expected you to do something about it!"
"I'm not your hero, Lily!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. "I've already tried that, and it didn't work. You don't need anyone to save you. And I'm through trying."
After that, he was gone, disappearing onto the stage for the opening scene of The Little Mermaid.
"Lily? What are you doing?" Neil exclaimed frantically, appearing at her elbow. "You're on right now!"
Shaking her head to clear it of what had just happened, Lily quickly yanked off her shirt, leaving her in a sea-shell bra, and pulled on the shimmery green fin that Neil was holding out to her. As soon as she was changed, Neil threw her over his shoulder and carried her out onto the stage, dashing away just as the curtains opened and the lights came up.
Luckily, Lily had had no time to get nervous, so all she had to do was rearrange her face into a serene expression and listen as Ian Prestwick narrated the story.
"Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above. There dwelled the Sea King and his subjects…"
His calm, clear voice set the scene perfectly. He told the story of three mermaid princesses, raised by their grandmother in a kingdom under the sea. As each sister turned fifteen, they were allowed to rise out of the water at night to explore the world above. The first two were at first amazed by the many sights and sounds of the world outside the ocean, but they soon grew tired. Lily, however, who played the youngest, longed for nothing more than to see the outside, and when she finally did, she was intrigued with a ship that held a young prince, who was played by a still-angry looking James.
Don't give up on him, Lily, she told herself forcefully as she gave James a hard look across the stage. He was willing to try for you, now it's your turn.
"That night, a terrible storm blew in and wrecked the ship, leaving all of the passengers to drown at sea, but the mermaid had fallen in love with the prince, and so she found him among the wreckage and swam him safely to shore."
Lily tried not to grimace at the cold look on James' face as she lay him on the dry land. Slowly, hesitantly, she kissed his forehead, and even though they had practiced this a hundred times, Lily still felt the jump in her stomach as she did so.
He's worth it. Lily repeated it over and over again. She knew for a fact that the statement was true, but it strengthened her resolve a bit with each time she thought it. He's worth it.
He's worth it.
He's worth it.
The audience sighed in contentment as Lily kissed James' cheek and stroked his hair, but they were not appeased for long. At that moment, a bell sounded and it was time for Clara to make her first appearance.
Ian explained that Clara—Carlotta in the story—saw the prince lying on the beach and hurried to his rescue. And Lily did not have to try to look unhappy about the situation.
"After his rescue, the little mermaid continued to watch the prince, and she heard the fishermen tell tales of his good deeds. This only made her fall more deeply in love with him, though the prince knew naught of her existence. She wanted nothing more than to be human herself so that she could be with him always. She began to question her wise grandmother about the humans, hoping to find a way to connect with the prince."
"If human beings are not drowned," asked Lily, "can they live forever? Do they never die as we do here in the sea?"
"Yes," replied Annabelle Stewart, who was playing the grandmother. "They must also die, and their term of life is even shorter than ours. We sometimes live to three hundred years, but when we cease to exist here we only become the foam on the surface of the water. We have not immortal souls, we shall never live again. Human beings, on the contrary, have a soul which lives forever, lives after the body has been turned to dust. It rises up through the clear, pure air beyond the glittering stars. As we rise out of the water, and behold all the land of the earth, so do they rise to unknown and glorious regions which we shall never see."
"Why have not we an immortal soul?" asked Lily mournfully, stealing glances at the cardboard castle where James awaited his cue.
He's worth it.
"I would give gladly all the hundreds of years that I have to live, to be a human being only for one day, and to have the hope of knowing the happiness of that glorious world above the stars," she continued.
He's worth it.
"You must not think of that," said Annabelle. "We feel ourselves to be much happier and much better off than human beings."
"So I shall die," said Lily. "And as the foam of the sea I shall be driven about never again to hear the music of the waves, or to see the pretty flowers nor the red sun. Is there anything I can do to win an immortal soul?"
"No," said the old woman, "unless a man were to love you so much that you were more to him than his father or mother; and if all his thoughts and all his love were fixed upon you, and the priest placed his right hand in yours, and he promised to be true to you here and hereafter, then his soul would glide into your body and you would obtain a share in the future happiness of mankind. He would give a soul to you and retain his own as well; but this can never happen. Your fish's tail, which amongst us is considered so beautiful, is thought on earth to be quite ugly; they do not know any better, and they think it necessary to have two stout props, which they call legs, in order to be handsome."
Lily had always loved this scene, for she felt that it described her relationship with James perfectly. Only instead of giving her a soul, he had managed to give her a heart after hers had been broken.
He's worth it.
After the conversation, Ian narrated, the little mermaid traveled to the home of the sea witch, played by Daphne, in the hopes that the woman had a way for her to obtain legs.
"I know what you want," Daphne cackled, looking horrid in her sea witch makeup. "It is very stupid of you, but you shall have your way, and it will bring you to sorrow, my pretty princess. You want to get rid of your fish's tail, and to have two supports instead of it, like human beings on earth, so that the young prince may fall in love with you, and that you may have an immortal soul. I will prepare a draught for you, with which you must swim to land tomorrow before sunrise, and sit down on the shore and drink it. Your tail will then disappear, and shrink up into what mankind calls legs, and you will feel great pain, as if a sword were passing through you. But all who see you will say that you are the prettiest little human being they ever saw. You will still have the same floating gracefulness of movement, and no dancer will ever tread so lightly; but at every step you take it will feel as if you were treading upon sharp knives, and that the blood must flow. If you will bear all this, I will help you."
Lily nodded. "I will."
"But think again," said Daphne. "For when once your shape has become like a human being, you can no more be a mermaid. You will never return through the water to your sisters, or to your father's palace again; and if you do not win the love of the prince, then you will never have an immortal soul. The first morning after he marries another your heart will break, and you will become foam on the crest of the waves."
"I will do it," said Lily, glancing once more to where she knew James was hidden and silently praising the little mermaid for the courage she had because of love.
He's worth it.
"But I must be paid also," Daphne explained. "And it is not a trifle that I ask. You have the sweetest voice of any who dwell here in the depths of the sea, and you believe that you will be able to charm the prince with it also, but this voice you must give to me; the best thing you possess will I have for the price of my draught. My own blood must be mixed with it, that it may be as sharp as a two-edged sword."
"But if you take away my voice," said Lily, "what is left for me?"
"Your beautiful form, your graceful walk, and your expressive eyes; surely with these you can enchain a man's heart. Well, have you lost your courage? Put out your little tongue that I may cut it off as my payment; then you shall have the powerful draught."
"It shall be," said Lily, and the lights came down for the scene change.
When they came back up, Lily had stripped out of the fin, and wore a simple cream skirt along with her seashell bra. James stood above her seat on a rock.
"Who are you?" he asked, and his voice contained surprising kindness. "Where do you come from?"
Now unable to speak, Lily could only look up at him sadly, searching his eyes as he did the same to hers. He helped her to her feet, and Lily tried to imagine what it would feel like to step on knives. She feigned a wince, but walked with grace as James led her back to the palace.
He's worth it.
"She was very soon arrayed in costly robes of silk and muslin, and was the most beautiful creature in the palace; but she was dumb, and could neither speak nor sing," said Ian to the crowd as Stella and Annabelle, now dressed a servants, wrapped the robes around her. "Beautiful female slaves, dressed in silk and gold, stepped forward and sang before the prince and his royal parents: one sang better than all the others, and the prince clapped his hands and smiled at her. This was great sorrow to the little mermaid; she knew how much more sweetly she herself could sing once, and she thought, 'Oh if he could only know that! But I have given away my voice forever, to be with him.'"
But when Stella and Annabelle began to dance, Lily joined them and did so more gracefully than the two girls. It had taken a lot of work on her part to get the dance just right, but the effort paid off as the audience sighed with happiness as they watched her. She even heard a catcall, but Lily was willing to bet it had been Sirius.
"The prince said she should remain with him always, and she received permission to sleep at his door, on a velvet cushion. He had a page's dress made for her, that she might accompany him on horseback. They rode together through the sweet-scented woods. She climbed with the prince to the tops of high mountains; and although her tender feet bled so that even her steps were marked, she only laughed, and followed him till they could see the clouds beneath them looking like a flock of birds travelling to distant lands."
"As the days passed, she loved the prince more fondly, and he loved her as he would love a little child, but it never came into his head to make her his wife; yet, unless he married her, she could not receive an immortal soul; and, on the morning after his marriage with another, she would dissolve into the foam of the sea.
"Do you not love me the best of them all?" the eyes of the little mermaid seemed to say, when he took her in his arms, and kissed her fair forehead."
"Yes, you are dear to me," said James, his eyes boring into Lily so strongly that she had to force herself to maintain eye contact. He's worth it. "For you have the best heart," James stressed the line. "And you are the most devoted to me; you are like a young maiden whom I once saw, but whom I shall never meet again. I was in a ship that was wrecked, and the waves cast me ashore near a holy temple, where several young maidens performed the service. The youngest of them found me on the shore, and saved my life. I saw her but twice, and she is the only one in the world whom I could love; but you are like her, and you have almost driven her image out of my mind. She belongs to the holy temple, and my good fortune has sent you to me instead of her; and we will never part."
Lily did not find it hard to act hurt by this, for the little mermaid knew at this point that he would never truly love her the way that she loved him.
He's worth it.
Ian went on to tell of how it was said that the prince would have to marry, and that he searched the land over, meeting every eligible princess. Each girl was another pang in the little mermaid's heart, but she followed him loyally. Eventually the prince came upon a beautiful town. The princess did not appear right away, for she was being raised in a religious house where they taught her only goodness.
When Clara finally came on stage, many of the audience members gasped or cried out in shock.
Get used to it, thought Lily harshly. Love doesn't always work the way you want it to.
But James is worth it.
He's worth it.
He's worth it.
"It was you," said James, grinning at Clara so sincerely that it hurt Lily to look at. "You saved my life when I lay dead on the beach." James pulled Clara into his arms. "Oh, I am too happy," said he to Lily. "My fondest hopes are all fulfilled. You will rejoice at my happiness; for your devotion to me is great and sincere."
Lily forced a smile and nodded slowly. And the lights went down again.
When they were brought back up, Clara wore a wedding dress, James a suit, and Lily, a simply gown.
"The little mermaid felt her heart breaking," said Ian woefully. "For upon the prince's marriage, she would melt into the foam on the waves and never receive an immortal soul. But she saw that the prince was happy, so she planned to dance at his wedding and be merry."
Lily knew that Clara looked beautiful walking down the aisle, but the young witch had eyes only for James. She could feel him slipping away from her as each moment ticked passively by, and Lily knew that if she did not do something to mend the situation, surely she would lose him forever.
He's worth it.
He's worth it.
Oi! Evans! Be my Valentine?
Lily started slightly as the phrase she had long since forgotten rang through her mind, accompanied by thoughts of roses, boys in cupid costumes, lilies, sky-writing, dances, sunflowers, and broomstick rides. And suddenly, she realized what she had to do.
James had always put himself out there for her, from the very start, and she had only ever publically rejected him. It was her turn, Lily knew, to give James the opportunity to make the final decision, and let him have the option of humiliating her in front of a crowd. It seemed only fair, and Lily knew of no other way to prove to James that her heart belonged to him and no one else.
He's worth it.
"If there are any objections," began Dylan, and Lily knew that this was the time to act. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
He's worth it.
He's worth it.
He's worth it.
She sprung to her feet, much to the shock of everyone on stage, and yelled at the top of her voice, "I OBJECT!"
Luckily, Ian was a quick fellow, and though she did not know it, this was the ending he had rooted for all along. She silently thanked him as he turned back to the audience and grinned.
"But the little mermaid's love was so strong that it broke the sea witch's spell, and she decided that the prince meant too much to her to give up without a fight."
"What's going on?" James and Dylan demanded, miraculously in union. It could have been rehearsed.
He's worth it.
"I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT!" Lily shouted across the stage, leaving James, Dylan, Clara, and the audience in a state of shock. She could see Neil offstage staring at her with wide eyes.
But it was too late to turn back, so Lily marched right up to James, shoved Clara out of the way, and stared him straight in the eye.
He's worth it.
"I love you because you make funny noises when you brush your teeth, and because your jokes always come at the most inopportune moments. I love you because you love your friends, and are willing to go to any lengths to keep them safe. I love you because you fight for what you believe in, no matter what, and because the things that you believe in are always right. I love you because you have a beautiful heart, even if it takes you a while to show it. And I love you because somehow, through all your sarcasm and arguing and ridiculous compliments, you've shown me—never intentionally—that even though I've got a lot of flaws, there must be some good in there too. You bring out the best in me, even if it's sometimes in a backhanded hard-to-see way, you do. And I know that I'm not good enough for you, not even close. You deserve someone who's going to worship the ground you walk on—"
But she could not continue, because suddenly, his lips were over hers, his arms wrapped tightly around her. It was nothing like the way that Gregory Pearson had kissed her, in fact, this kiss wiped Greg from her mind entirely. He was sweet and gentle and passionate all at the same time, and just by pressing his lips to hers, he made her feel loved and beautiful and perfect. After an instant of surprise, Lily kissed him back, earning cheers from an audience she had long-since forgotten. All she knew, as James moved his hands up to gently cup her face, was that she was experiencing magic in its purest, strongest sense. It was coursing through her veins and flowing through her soul until every corner of her being was immersed in exhilaration and light.
Yes, she would have to face Greg again eventually, and yes, there was a war going on and people were out for her blood, even Neil was likely to be out of his mind with anger for ruining the show, but those things were but trifles now that Lily knew that she would meet them with James Potter at her side.
James lifted her off her feet and spun her in circles, kissing her all the while, and Lily could not help but let out a laugh of pure joy. When James set her back down, his hands steadfastly holding her waist, he was smiling at her in such a way that even the harsh stage lights seemed dim by comparison.
Oh, he is worth it.
"I don't want a girl that worships the ground I walk on," he told her, his voice soft. "I want you, darling, all the fighting included. Because I love you too, damn it," he grinned. "I have from the start. And you know I will. Always."
The other characters were completely forgotten as the audience jumped to their feet in a standing ovation. Sirius, who was front and center, was grinning like a maniac, laughing and crying and taking pictures, all dignity forgotten. Frank, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas were in varying states of shock, but Remus looked nothing short of proud, and Alice and Vanessa were hugging each other and yelling themselves hoarse.
"It's you, James," Lily said, so quietly that only he could hear. "It always has been. I made a mistake trusting Greg, I know it. But I also know that trusting you is the best thing I could ever do."
James kissed her forehead, holding her tightly and causing the butterflies to swarm almost violently in her stomach. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."
"Thank you for never giving up on me," Lily whispered into his chest, wrapping her arms around him.
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things," He murmured into her hair, quoting the wedding script Ian had read a hundred times aloud.
Lily smiled, finally knowing just how true those words were. "And love never fails."
Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. - The Princess Bride
SQUEE! FINALLY! It took fifty chapters, but here we are at last. I hope it lived up to your expectations. (:
I've made a blog: pottedlilies . blogspot . com (there is also a link on my profile) where you can check out where I'm at in the chapters, and read teasers and such. Drop me a comment if you check it out!
Also, I hope you liked the new characters that were introduced, and I hope that this isn't too overwhelming since the chapter is (count 'em!) over fifteen thousand words. That's about thirty-two pages not double-spaced.
If you have any questions, let me know.
PLEASE REVIEW!
Love Always,
Kayla
All the best love stories have one thing in common—they need to go against all odds to get there.
