Dear Students,
Yes, its that time again where I give you rules and you ignore them completely because you are evil.
643. Lucius Malfoy is not Captain Lorca and wants you to stop calling him that.
644. Don't touch the exploding potatoes. Because they will explode and you will have mashed potato skin for a month.
645. A sausage roll can't give you alibi. You shouldn't be anything that requires an alibi in the first place.
646. Licking stuff doesn't make it yours.
647. Professor Snape isn't a ghostbuster nor is he going to Peeves at dawn with a carrot. Miss Granger cannot go on hunger strike until he agrees to do it.
648. The Gryffindor common room is not a fish and chip shop. Stop staring up businesses you know I'll be forced to shut down.
649. Stop using the following excuses as to why you don't have your homework
"Your mum"
"I was eating peanut butter toast and fighting apples,"
"I did my homework but it has turned invisible because it hates you,"
650. There is no such as throw an egg at first years day.
651. Professor Sprout husband isn't a bewitched Brussel sprout.
652. Not allowed to tell your parents or the ministry about the time Hermione Granger turned third year Ravenclaws into puppets. We all agreed to forget about that afternoon.
653. Harry Potter doesn't have a magical island nor is best friends with Satan.
654. Stop spreading the rumour that Voldemort is secretly a shrimp named Crab
Dumbledore
