I honestly hate writing in past tense... some comments on how I did this chapter please?
Chapter 43
The first thing I noticed once I regained conscious was the warmth of Ione's embrace. Having slowly pulled myself from her wings, I found Ione was still fast asleep. As I stood myself up, I saw that most of the hammocks were occupied, indicating everyone was still asleep. By this point I was wide awake and felt like walking around abit.
I knelt down to pick up Ione to carry her to a hammock without even really thinking on it. She shifted slightly in my arms, which caused me to remember the previous evening's strife. I pushed the thoughts aside, I had no desire to deal with them right now, as I placed Ione into a free hammock. On my way to the stairs to the deck, my sword caught my eye. Since I could not really recall the last time I had done any real practice with a sword, I decided that was how I would spend my time on deck.
Once on deck I started doing some basic stretches followed by a few minutes kickboxing workouts I used to have routined when my mother instructed me. Of which wore me out far more than it used to, I must have been getting out of shape, or the beating I suffered from Selene was more damaging than I thought.
After I felt like I did enough I began to practice my swordplay. As I tried to watch and critique my own actions, it became obvious I was not as up to par as I thought. To the contrary I was far worse than I could recall.
My movement and reactions which I used to hold most of my pride in were far slower than they should be. Even my swings were all over extended, something that should have simply become muscle memory long ago and it wasn't like I hadn't used a sword in a long time.
My frustration at my own performance was beginning to cloud my rational as I tried to ignore the pain my body was feeling as I tried to make the corrections by having a mock match with a shadow. A match that ended far sooner than I planned, with my loss… Not long into the shadow spar my left leg gave out on me, completely unresponsive. The sudden lack of support resulted in my fall face first into the deck, at least it would have been if i wasn't lucky enough to shield my face with my hand.
"Thought you were asleep while everyone was drinking."Veronica commented as she piloted the ship in the dead of night.
I rolled onto my back as I replied, "When was everyone drinking?"
"While you and Ione were sleeping together."Veronica answered. "Don't know how you slept through all the racket."
Now that she mentioned Ione, "By the way how did you know Ione confessed to me?"
Veronica gave a low grumble. "You just had to go back to that?"
"Well yeah."I gave a sigh as I decided to tell it straight. "Ione confessed last night to me right before we left the hotel. She is currently waiting for my reply. I don't see Ione telling people she confessed while still waiting so soon after doing so. So how did you know?"
"Does that matter? I'm sure the whole ship knows by now."Veronica replied with an annoyed tone before she went silent for a moment. "So… how are you going to reply?"
I found it difficult to believe Ione told anyone else, she even asked Silvia to step out, "I don't know."
"Lovely."Veronica sarcastically drawled. "I'm sure she will be thrilled with that answer."
"I don't know Ione that well, I don't even know her favorite color, foods, or anything really."
"So what? You don't need to know someone very well to know how you feel about them. After all…"Veronica solemnly retorted. "Ione could have confessed because she wants to know you more…."
"And what if she can't stand me? I know I'm not the most pleasant individual around." I interrupted. Not a lot of people I had met had been able put up with me. Now that the thought had occurred, surprisingly neither Ione or Silvia had seemed to have viewed me as an annoyance.
"So what if you can be incredibly frustrating to be around at times…" Veronica answered with a grumble.
I cut her off as I interrupted once more, "Not everyone can live with me. Acquired taste remember?"
Veronica seemed to have gotten rather frustrated with the interruptions as she raised her voice. "And how else is she supposed to acquire that taste?! She isn't asking you to marry her, just give your relationship a chance! If it works out, great! If it doesn't… well at least she will know why."
"What about the fact I'm searching for a way back home?"At this point I may have been arguing for argument's sake.
"I don't know. I have no way to relate to that."Veronica retorted.
"But Ione does. She hasn't seen her family since she was kidnapped almost a decade ago."
"Is it really the same thing?" Veronica asked.
"To be forcibly taken one's home and family? I'm sure even John could relate, the difference between him and I is that he now has something here, I don't."
"You could have Ione." Veronica retorted. "Or would you be alright with never seeing her again?" With nothing but silence from me as I stared into the night sky, Veronica continued, "Well, whatever. What you decide to do is up to you. But Jonathan was able to find someone in this world so maybe you can too… even if it might not be Ione."
"Maybe, Ione certainly deserves better." Would not be the first girl I walked away from with that thought.
After a short growl, Veronica shouted. "Don't say that!"Veronica had to take a moment to compose herself before, "Just don't say that. She knows what she wants better than you do, so don't trivialize her feelings."
I have had enough of this topic, "Topic change?"
"To what?"Veronica grumpily asked.
"Something else?"
"Oh, I never would have guessed."Veronica said as she sarcastically rolled her eyes.
As I sat myself up, I thought of something I had been meaning to say for a while now, "Sorry."
"For what exactly?"Veronica asked.
"For sticking my nose into your business. I shouldn't have forcibly inserted myself like that."
"You just now realize that it was very improper?"Veronica gave a short sigh. "Whatever, not like I would have gotten anywhere just brooding to myself. I do not know if talking to you actually changed anything but I was able to eventually relieve some of my frustrations, so I can't be too upset."
"Well, glad I was able to potentially help. At least I didn't make things worse."
"I suppose not,"Veronica pondered for a moment, "and it has been interesting in it's own way to have you around."
"Can't say anyone's ever told me that before."
"Well I don't know what else you would expect me to say. You are the first man I have met before my mother so much as laid eyes on them. It has been... an experience."
I laughed to that and replied, "Well what's your opinion of this 'common folk' who don't give a shit about status?"
"I would say you are crude, ill mannered, intrusive yet strangely oblivious, and a ruffian." Veronica lists off. "I thought Jonathan was bad when I first met him, I really had no idea."
"Excluding the ruffian bit, that is immaturity in a nutshell, comes with my disabilities I'm afraid."
"Disabilities? Are you sure it's not just your personality?" Veronica asked.
"Yes and no, autism is a mental disability." I replied as I stood and climbed my way up the stairs to the helm to lean over as I gazed into the water.
"In what way? I'm not familiar with the subject."
"Almost no one is honestly. Autism is a mental disability best defined as having a different thought process, basically think of it as linear thinkers for normal people and abstract for autistics. Some autistics have severe disabilities where they can't even tie their own shoes or speak in coherent sentences but they'd be able to run circles around anyone in a given field."
"Isn't that just a trade off? Like how hobgoblins are super strong but dumb as bricks?"
"No I don't think so, because not all people afflicted with autism get said trade off."
"Well you do not seem to be really hindered in anyway. Exactly where is the line drawn?"
"I can't answer that, I don't know enough about autism like my mother. All I know is my own, which is that I'm pretty good at learning things should I take an interest, and I guess you could say my understanding of social norms is my lacking. For example, knowing when it is inappropriate to stick my nose into someone else's problems."
"Well, for the record: Unless you are close to the people involved or are affected in some way, it is usually never appropriate to 'stick your nose' in other people's business."
"Noted, though for how long we'll see."
"Just worry about your own situation, you shouldn't keep Ione waiting for a response for long."
"She told me I had until Ethelyn, though I'm assuming the choice is basically to stay or continue on my search for a way back."
"A way back to Earth…" Veronica thought about it for a moment. "I wonder how often Jonathan thinks about returning home?"
"Who knows, maybe a lot maybe he has made peace with living here."
"Or maybe he is so far over his head he doesn't even have time to think about it." Veronica chuckled. "He always seems to find a way to dig himself in deeper."
I gave a laugh as well, "Maybe he gets off on it?"
"Well he has been gaining a bit of a masochistic side, though whether that is more from spending too much time with TNA or Merry I am not sure."
"Both is the impression I've gotten."
Veronica laughed some more. "You're probably right."
As I was laughing, I got hit by a sudden realization, "Shit..."
"What? Were you expecting a different response?" Veronica asked, puzzled by my reaction.
"No, I just realised I had forgotten why I wanted to go to the Sunken City in the first place."
"Oh yeah…" Veronica thought back. "I recall Ione mentioning that you wanted to meet with lord Michiko to ask about returning to Earth. With everything that was going on I forgot all about it. Too bad, I hear Michiko only meets with people at the festivals she throws once a season."
"When is the next?"
"Well.." Veronica got a bit more solemn as she thought about it. "...considering Jonathan and Merry just got blessed at one, I would say the next is in three months."
"Well fuck."
"It's only three months. If you just wait in Ethelyn you can catch the next one."
"I guess, but still means three months."
"The funny thing is that Jonathan and Merry got to speak to Michiko," Veronica added with a chuckle, "but what do you think are the chances it even occurred to them to ask?"
"I'd honestly be surprised if it had at all with how eager they seemed."
"Yes…" Solemn again. "...plus I imagine being in the presence of a lord makes it hard to think of anything other than the reason they went there."
"I guess." I replied with a yawn.
"You actually have the perfect opportunity, if you think about it."
"For what?" Better not be sex related.
"Well… I don't know how readily Michiko would be willing to meet to discuss going back to Earth, but she does give a number of blessings. If you were to go with that pretense you would almost certainly get to meet the lord. And since you would be staying in Ethelyn for a few months… it might as well be with Ione."
"I won't do that." I took a moment to figure out how I wanted to word what I was gonna say, "It wouldn't be right. I can't do that to Ione or Silvia. To go with them to get them blessed just to turn around and ask for a way off this world?"
"It was just a thought… and if during the trip you decided to stay then it wouldn't be the worst thing ever, right?"
"How would you feel if that was how Jonathan treated you? As a means to an end unless something sparked between you?"
"Honestly I wished he would lean a little more toward thinking like that. How am I supposed to goad him into anything if he's too nice?"
I turned to face Veronica and replied, "Ask politely? You told me already you haven't tried that yet. Swallow your pride and you might get what you want sooner."
"Well…" Veronica trailed off with a blush. "... maybe I already did."
"Oh?"
Veronica got even redder once she realized she had said that out loud. "L-l-look what you made me say you jerk!"
I laughed as I tried to keep the topic on track, "So it worked then?"
"Maybe…" Veronica admitted with a blush. "... but I still had to throw myself at him."
"Men are dumb?" I replied with a shrug.
"And stubborn." Veronica grumbled.
"I can confirm."
"Yeah, I've noticed." Veronica scoffed.
"So have you ever been to Ethelyn?"
"This is my first trip out of Alnor, let alone to Ethelyn." Veronica answered. "I've stuck at home, forced to study my whole life."
"Sounds boring."
"It was. I had no friends, no free time, no tolerance for error. I was not allowed to do anything if it did not further my studies."
"Forget boring, that is just stifling, how are you able to hold conversations with a life like that?"
"Conversations, and etiquette in general, were a part of my lessons. I can hold a conversation with anyone if I have to, regardless of if I want to."
"Hm." I just decided to not comment on that. "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Ione is expecting an answer before Ethelyn, tomorrow evening at the latest. But I don't have an answer. I honestly don't have much of a plan left anymore, so taking up her offer to live with her would make things easy. But I don't like the idea of just using her for that purpose."
"Maybe she does not mind if you use her, if it means she gets to spend more time with you." Veronica replied.
"But I do, it isn't right."
"I hope you realize that rejecting us for our sake is sweet but incredibly frustrating." Veronica grumbled.
"As opposed to leading you on to possibly cut you off later?"
"What makes you think you would?"
"It's the fact that I can't say I won't that is the problem. I don't want to hurt her."
"You would hurt her by saying no too."
As I gave a defeated sigh, I responded with, "I hate catch twenty-twos."
"You say that as if there is no good outcome. What about if you don't cut her off later?"
"Then that would be ideal now wouldn't it?"
"Then try, you won't know what will happen until you do right?" Veronica responded with a sideward smirk. "Sounds a little familiar doesn't it?"
"Does it?" I had to think back I tried to figure out what she meant.
"It is a little different, with you needing to return feelings rather than receive them, but we have basically switched roles haven't we?" Veronica explained.
"..." I laughed at the realization as it came to me, "yeah I guess we have. Not as easy to come to a decision as it seems."
"Just go for it. After all…" Veronica looked away as she blushed. "... it worked for me."
"Yeah but you're not an annoying twit like me…" I gave a sigh as I knew not taking my own advice would have made me a hypocrite. I find myself… still unsure to what my answer was.
"She already asked you to be with her, so I don't think that's a problem." Veronica retorted. "Just don't go thinking you are not deserving of her, she knows what she wants."
"I know for a fact she deserves better than me, regardless of if I am what she wants…" After a moment of thought figured how I would make my decision."Hey do you got a coin?"
"You are not seriously thinking what I think you are thinking, are you?" Veronica glared.
I could only laugh as I knew exactly what she was thinking, and that she was only half correct, "No I'm not, but I do need a coin." Although my answer was only half correct as well.
Veronica reached into her pocket with a sigh and tossed me a gold coin. "If you decide it with a coin toss I will punch you, for her sake."
As I caught the coin I replied, "You can toss me into the ocean for all I care after you let me explain myself if you disagree. Heads I accept, tails I don't." I gave the coin a flip into the air. When it landed the result was tails. I did not like the result… Veronica at this point had a lethal scowl. "Well that clears things up for me. Want me to explain how it works?"
"I hope you are ready to keep your word." Veronica answered as she cracked her knuckles.
"Only if you keep yours." I responded while I shirked back a little.
"3…" I figured that was a count down….
"I want to flip it again. Do you get it now?"
"2…"
"Blinded by rage it seems, I flipped the coin with the two options…"
"1…"
I gave a sigh as I came clean with the intent upfront, dropping my charade. "The option I wanted is heads." Veronica still had a menacing glare but allowed me to proceed. "If I was content with both options then the result would not matter to me, but if there was a choice that I really wanted or did not want, I would not be content with the result. If I wanted to flip it again after getting tails then that means I wanted heads. This is something I do when I find myself with a choice I can't decide on."
"You should have started with that."
"I like playing with fire?"
"You were going in the ocean." Veronica retorted. "I'm sure Jonathan will agree that's more dangerous."
"Point noted." The danger passed, I picked up and returned the coin to Veronica. "The question now is, how do I go about it?"
"I don't know." Veronica answered. "I had to confess before I was ready."
"Well I guess I'll just sleep on it for now."
"Probably a good decision." Veronica noded. "I'm sure things are going to get crazy tomorrow, TNA are on honeymoon."
"Good point… good night."
"Good night." With that I made my way down to the deck and to the sleeping area. As I walked over to a wall I noticed Ione still fast asleep in the hammock I placed her in. It was not much, but I think I had a starting point for tomorrow.
