Same disclaimer applies-Twilight belongs to S.M., but the idea of this story is mine.
Many thanks to my awesome betas and friends - TeamAllTwilight and m0t0b33.
The morning after we bring home the little guy is filled with cuteness from the moment we wake up.
He's on the bed—I have no idea how he climbed the stairs or got in our bed, but he licks our faces until we stir, then he yaps loudly, his whole little body shaking with eagerness.
"You, little beast!" Edward groans, picking the pup in his palm and raising him above his head.
"Careful, honey. We don't want dog pee-pee on the bed," I warn him.
"That's right. There'll be plenty baby piss soon."
"Don't insult Junior." I put a protective hand over my stomach.
Edward turns his head to look at me amused, putting the pup back on the bed. "Junior, huh?"
"Junior," I confirm, stroking my belly. "We don't know the sex. I think it fits."
"What if it's a girl?"
"Junior," I repeat, laughing.
He shakes his head, leaning closer to kiss me. "I'd rather stay here with you. All day."
"We need to take…" I point to the pup, which's currently sniffing at Edward's feet. "…to the vet. What are we naming him?"
"Are you sure it's a he? I didn't see right last night."
"Alice said it was a boy." I shrug.
"It would be a shame to give him a boy name if the poor dog is a girl!"
In one swift movement, he scoops the unsuspecting pup off the bed, making him whine startled, and raises it so we can see the reproductive organs.
He's a boy alright. A small, pink cute penis stands at attention. I take him from Edward as I sit up, cuddling with the pup.
"So, name?" I prompt my husband, allowing the puppy to lick my face. "Jeez, he loves licking. Was Slob like this?"
"Bella, if his name doesn't give that away then I don't know what would."
"Oh!" I feel silly.
"As for this little fellow's name…" Edward yawns, getting out of the bed. "He's brown and he seems to be kinda excited, you know what I mean? Woody."
"Woody?" I scoff. Even the poor dog has lost his enthusiasm. "Don't worry, sweetie. Daddy's insane. You'll get used to it."
As we get dressed and ready to leave, we keep bickering about his name.
We try gemstones, different synonyms for brown, chocolate related names—nothing seems to fit.
Edward even tries to be funny, calling the pup Shortie or Squirt. I scowl at him, reasoning that he'll grow up and that definitely isn't a suitable name.
By the time we reach the vet, I know we need a name for his file.
"What about a human name?" I wonder as he parks in front of the clinic.
"No!" he exclaims, sounding determined. "I was always against calling a pet a human name—especially a dog. Imagine walking him around and he wanders away, and you have to call him back. George, come back. George, here, boy. No. Simply no."
I laugh, but agree with him.
Once inside, when the vet sees us, he looks amused.
"Well, I didn't think I'd see you around here!"
Edward shrugs. "Yeah, me either. Then we met this little fellow." He points to the puppy.
"He's adorable." The vet nods. "Let's go check him."
Inside the cabinet, I put the puppy on the table. He lies there, putting his head on his front paws, yawning and making the cutest sounds.
"Is it his first visit?"
"Yes. We don't know anything about him. I think he's around three-four months old."
"Less," the vet says, tapping his fingers to the other end of the table, getting the puppy's attention. He immediately goes there, sniffing and licking the vet's fingers.
He proceeds to weight, measure, and test the puppy, writing everything on his computer.
"Oh, Mr. Cullen. I didn't ask for his name."
"That's the trick question," I mumble.
"What does it remind you of?" Edward asks the vet, who frowns, glancing at the puppy.
"Chocolate or cappuccino."
"Chip!" I exclaims. "Chocolate chip." I cock my head, looking at Edward.
"Chip is a nice name," the vet agrees.
"Chip?" Edward frowns, eyeing the pup who is wiggling his tail at us. "Spaz."
"We've been trying to find the perfect name all morning," I explain to the vet, before I register what he said. "Spaz?" I echo him.
"He's agitated."
I think about it. Spaz is a unique name.
I nod.
"As long as it isn't this hard when we choose Junior's name…" Edward mutters, shooting me a smile.
I rub a hand over my stomach, realizing just now how much there is to do. A wave of panic hits me.
Getting the room ready. Buying anything we might need from clothes, toys, food, diapers, furniture…God. Choosing names. Having a serious talk with my belly about showing us if it's a girl or a boy to know exactly what to do.
Now, I think I'm insane.
"Bella?" Edward asks quietly, coming to stand next to me. "Are you okay? You're pale."
"Yeah, just thinking," I answer, leaning against him.
"Do you think my parents will mind if we drop the puppy to them on the way to work?"
"I doubt it."
That settled, once Spaz—as the name stays—has his first shot and a new anti-fleas collar, we take him back to the car, and then drive to Edward's parents' house. They're surprised to see us, and even more surprised to see the pup. Carlisle takes Spaz and goes back inside the house.
"Nice to see you, too, Dad!" Edward shouts after him.
"I thought this was your present for us. You know, our fiftieth wedding anniversary is approaching!" he calls back.
Fifty? Wow.
Esme smiles warmly. "We'll take care of the dog. I can't wait to hear how you got another one. I remember you swore off pets."
"Blame Jasper and Alice," Edward mutters, leaning to kiss his mom's cheek.
"Shit. We didn't bring any food," I say worried.
"Don't worry, sweetie. We'll take good care of him." Esme winks, patting my cheek.
We say goodbye and go back to the car, driving to work.
"So your parents are having their… What is it called?" I tap my chin. "Silver wedding anniversary? Or golden?"
"Golden," he answers promptly, focused on driving.
I hum, paying attention to the traffic as well.
Suddenly, Edward clears his throat. "I talked with Rose about this. We want to buy them a holiday, but we can't decide on a place."
"Oh, that sounds really nice!" I exclaim, slightly surprised he didn't tell me about this.
"They've always wanted to visit Europe, but Rose wants to send them to some warm place in the States or Mexico." He glances at me. "What do you say?"
"Europe."
He beams at me.
"Have you asked Vic, as well?" I wonder.
"Nah. I mean, she's not working. We're going to put money for this."
"Edward," I groan. "You need to tell her as well. She lives with James. Aaand," I say loudly when he opens his mouth. "Considering all of you are married now, I think your parents' golden anniversary concerns the in-laws as well. Why didn't you tell me about this?"
"We just discussed this last week. I'm sorry. I had no idea you wanted to get involved."
"I love your parents. They're living testament that true love lasts. Before I met them, I only had my parents' broken marriage as an example—probably one of the reason I was scared of a relationship and, ultimately, marriage," I admit.
Edward chuckles. "Marriage doesn't seem so scary, does it?"
"So far, it's okay." I laugh, placing my hand on his leg.
We decide to have a children meeting soon to decide on where to send their parents.
"What about a vow renewing?" I ask thoughtfully, as we step out of the elevator at work.
"That's a good idea." He nods. "Yo, James. Come here!"
James turns away from his office door and comes to us, looking curious. We explain to him in a few words what's going on. He confirms my suspicious—Vic would love to get involved. That being said, we invite them over this upcoming weekend. Edward will call Rose and invite her over, too.
"Make sure she comes along with Daphne," I quip up. "I saw her just once."
"Alright." He nods, leaning down to kiss my lips. "I've got to go now."
"Yeah, me too."
"Don't stress yourself!" he calls after me as I make my way to my team.
Jeez.
Every morning, the same argument. I bite my tongue and open the green door, stepping inside the room. There are only a few people since it's still early.
*BH*
On Saturday morning, I feel Edward waking up, but I'm too tired to move. It seems that all I do on weekend days is sleep.
"You can snooze for another hour, but no longer. Everyone's coming for lunch," he reminds me.
"Go walk Spaz," I mumble into the pillow.
"I love you." He kisses my head and leaves the room.
Quiet.
I fall back asleep.
Until my phone buzzes loudly from the nightstand.
Fuck it.
I don't want to answer, but it's so annoying.
Just as I pick it up, I realize it's Edward's ringtone. Seriously?
I'm going to kill him.
"What?" I bark.
"I forgot the keys." He sounds amused.
"You deserve to stay out!" I mutter, sliding out of the bed.
"Won't you come and open the door? Please?"
"I'm coming. Keep your pants on," I mutter, hanging up.
When I arrive downstairs, the smell of coffee wakes me minutely. Yawning, I open the front door. Spaz starts humping my leg—his new favorite activity. I guess it's better than chewing shoes, but it gets old pretty fast.
"You have fuckable legs, baby."
I scowl at him and walk into the kitchen.
"Did you see my shirt?" Edward asks, coming after me.
I pour myself coffee, take a gulp and turn to see his shirt. My coffee is sprayed out at the sight in front of me.
"Too much?" he asks worried, pulling at the hem of his shirt to look at it.
There are two people sketched—by sketched I mean a few sticks put together and two circles. Sorry, three circles…one for my belly. Under the female and male is written: MISSON ACCOMPLISHED.
"That's…" I point to his shirt, having no words. "SPAZ!" I shout when he comes to continue humping my ankle. "Seriously."
"Don't you like it?"
"Just you wait. I will take one of my themed shirts!" I nod, drinking from my coffee.
I also make myself a sandwich with everything, which I devour in a matter of minutes.
I go to shower and get dressed for the day. The shirt I have in mind, will work hand in hand with his stupid shirt.
"Should I order pizza?" Edward calls through the bathroom door, when I'm done.
"Yup! I want pepperoni."
"You got it!" he calls back and I hear him leaving.
I grab my shirt and pull it on me then turn to admire myself in the mirror. It stretches over my tummy proving how right the words written on it are.
Does this baby make me look fat?
The answer is clearly: YES. It sucks.
Not related, but if any of you is a Mortal Instruments fan, I just started posting a new story. :) Check my profile.
