"Please!"

"Nej."

"Sverige! C'mon, it's me! Din bror!"

"I dun' wanta do it."

Denmark huffed and crossed his arms over his chest belligerently. "I'm just saying that I'm the only reason you and Finland ever hooked up. You owe me."

Sweden eyed Denmark and furrowed his brow. "Are ya talkin' 'bout K'lm'r? B'cause—"

"No, I'm not talking about that! I'm the reason you two met! Remember?"

Oh, Sweden remembered.


For as long as either Sweden or Denmark could remember, they'd always sort of been by each other's sides. In fact, neither of them could even really remember who was older, but Denmark insisted he was oldest and Sweden was indisputably more mature and therefore just let that one slide.

In any case, the two of them had spent most of their childhood being raised as warriors by Scandia, who had acted as a father figure to the both of them. Looking back, though, Sweden and Denmark agreed that he was a bit more like a war general training them for endless battles than an actual father. Denmark didn't know many fathers who would have their kids go out and cut off the heads of trolls as a "birthday present". However, that was how Denmark had found Norway—the little creep had been living with a bunch of trolls and had even learned magic from them. No wonder he was such a mean, frigid person nowadays.

Technically, Denmark was correct—he was the reason Sweden and Finland had ever met. The two of them had been out and about when they had been young, wandering far away from home. The snow had finally started to melt after a particularly harsh winter and they were eager to spend some time outside.

It was while they were play sword fighting when Denmark had seen something from the corner of his eyes—he swore up and down that it was a person peeking at them from behind some bushes.

"I dinn't see 'nyth'ng," Sweden had replied, looking skeptical as he eyed the bush where Denmark insisted someone was hiding.

"That's because you don't have my superior eyes!" Denmark had walked over and started poking at the bushes. "It was in here, I know it!"

"Hmph." Sweden stood there, arms crossed, and scowled. "I th'nk yer imaginin' th'ngs."

"And I think you're going to feel like an idiot when I'm right!" He let out an impatient huff and drew his sword. "This is taking too long. I'm just going to hack this bush to pieces!"

Just as he was about to go about chopping the bush apart, a little girl jumped out, her eyes wide as she stared at Denmark's sword. The boy gave pause and could hear Sweden suck in a sharp breath from behind him.

"Uh… hej," Denmark said.

In response the girl let out a loud scream and attempted to run away. Unfortunately for her, both Denmark and Sweden were much bigger and faster, which resulted in Denmark grabbing her by the back of her shirt and then holding her up.

"Why is she so small?" Denmark asked curiously. "And she's leaking."

Sure enough, she was crying pretty hard. Sweden and Denmark exchanged looks briefly, clearly a bit at a loss as to what they were going to do with her.

"G've 'er ta me." Sweden reached out, but the girl only started crying even more.

"No way, you scare her!" Denmark took a few steps back. "It's probably because you have a scary face."

"Do not."

"Ja, it's true. Your face gives me nightmares and I'm the bravest person I know."

Sweden glared at Denmark, offended, but turned his attention back to the girl. She was still crying, but she had begun to quiet down.

"She's calming down a bit. Maybe we can talk to her," Denmark suggested. Sweden grunted in agreement. "Okej, I will let you hold her, and I will try talking to her. I have a handsome face, like Thor. She will probably fall in love with me."

Now Sweden looked pissed. "Nej, I wanta t'lk ta 'er."

"Nej, I am going to talk to her." Denmark handed the girl over and Sweden took her automatically. "Okej. Hej! Hej! Lille pige!"

The girl stared at him blankly and sniffled, squirming a bit.

"I dunnat th'nk she c'n underst'nd ya," Sweden observed. "I c'n h'rdly underst'nd ya."

"Ja, well, you talk like you have mud in your mouth." Denmark glared at Sweden angrily.

"Ya t'lk like yer chewin' on st'cks," Sweden countered.

"Hold kæft!" Denmark glared at Sweden, who just glared back. He finally looked back at the girl, who was now just quietly sniffling. "Hej!"

The girl blinked and looked at him, both scared and puzzled.

"Hvad er dit navn?"

The girl kept looking at Denmark blankly.

"Hallooooo?" Denmark waved his hand in front of the girl's face. "Kan du høre mig?" A few more beats of silence passed and Denmark let out a noise of annoyance. "I think she's broken."

"Mebbe she cannit underst'nd ya," Sweden suggested. "Ya sound like yer growlin' at 'er."

"Well, you look like you're growling at everyone with your scary ass face!" Denmark countered. "Fine. You try to talk to her!"

Sweden huffed and turned Finland around. Her feet still dangled off the ground and their faces were only mere centimeters apart.

Sweden looked at her, wide-eyed. "Uh… söt."

Denmark snorted. "Don't be creepy."

Sweden blushed, but didn't even bother giving Denmark a dirty look. "Hallå. Vem är du?"

The girl now looked even more scared than ever and clearly didn't understand a word they were saying. A fresh round of tears began then because, as Denmark had said, Sweden had a scary face.

"See? You scare her!" Denmark reached to grab her, but Sweden quickly pulled her away from him. "What gives?! I found her first! Hand her over!"

"F'nd'rs keep'rs," Sweden replied.

"What the hell are you talking about? I found her because I'm way more awesome than you! I'm the finder, so I'm the keeper! Hand her over!"

"F'nd'rs keep'rs isn't fair. Ya should share."

Oh, now Sweden wanted to share. The two boys began to bicker and didn't notice the look of annoyance on the little girl's face. Apparently, she had had enough of their foolishness. She suddenly kicked Sweden in the stomach with every ounce of strength she had. As it turned out, the girl was incredibly strong and Sweden let out a gasp as he doubled over and dropped her, clutching at his stomach.

"Haha!" Denmark smacked his palm to his forehead and went into a fit of laughter. "Oh, man! This is hilarious! Just wait until I tell everyone you got beat up by a little girl!"

It wasn't hilarious for very long, though, because the girl grabbed Denmark by his sleeve and lifted him up, then slammed him into the ground. All the air in Denmark's lungs came out in one huge gasp and he just lay there on the ground, barely managing to suck any air into his lungs as the little girl let out a satisfied huff of breath and smoothed out her skirts before she walked off, humming cheerfully to herself.

"Okej, how about neither of us mentions that we got beat up by a little girl and we pretend this never happened?" Denmark suggested. He still couldn't move.

Sweden groaned as he tried to straighten himself out and nodded. "Ja."


Denmark did his best to try to forget about that little girl, but Sweden had become quite quiet (well, quieter than normal, he wasn't exactly a chatterbox to begin with) and thoughtful.

"Why are you so quiet, Sve?" Denmark eventually asked. Sweden had followed him silently outside when Denmark had announced he was going to go sharpen his sword. "You're acting even creepier than Norge."

Sweden sighed and appeared to hesitate momentarily before he asked, "Do ya… do ya th'nk girls're… useful?"

"'Useful'?" Denmark echoed in confusion. "Like… to push into snow banks? Or to cut their braids off to make them cry? Or to scream real loud and funny when you put bugs down the back of their dresses?"

"Nej." Sweden looked a bit frustrated. "Like… fer kissin' 'nd th'ngs."

"Kissing?!" Denmark made the most disgusted face he could manage. "Why would anyone ever want to do that?!"

Sweden huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I dunnat th'nk it'd be so bad."

"That's because you don't think!" Denmark shook his head with vigor. "Nej, nej, nej! I am so grossed out right now I might throw up in my mouth!"

"Skitstövel. I'm leavin'." Sweden turned around and began to walk away, leaving Denmark to gasp and point at his back accusingly.

"You're going off to kiss a girl, aren't you?!" Denmark accused. When Sweden didn't reply, Denmark assumed he was right and stealthily followed after him with his awesome Viking skills.

Sure enough, Sweden didn't go home. Instead he wandered and wandered, retracing their steps back to the place they had gotten their butts kicked only a few weeks ago. Along the way, Sweden grabbed some flowers and was muttering to himself as he wandered, apparently looking for something.

Denmark was just planning on jumping Sweden to knock some sense into him when they stumbled across a small cottage painted blue and white. Denmark watched critically as his stupid brother snuck up to the front door and then placed the flowers on the front step. He then knocked on the door and then ran to hide… right where Denmark was.

"Watch it!" Denmark snapped, shoving Sweden off of him. Sweden glared at Denmark and smacked his hand over his brother's mouth to keep him from blowing their cover. Denmark struggled as Sweden watched the house carefully.

The door opened and out stepped some blonde guy with glasses. He looked around curiously, not seeing the flowers, and turned to yell something into the house in what sounded like weird gibberish. Denmark would have gasped loudly in surprise when the little girl who had beaten them up suddenly appeared.

Surely Sweden didn't want to kiss her. She was a menace! Sure, she was cute, but she was also horrible and terrible and awful and the worst!

Apparently, judging by the look on Sweden's face, his brother didn't agree. Sweden looked creepily smitten and blushed when the girl took the flowers and eyed them curiously before she smiled and said something to the guy standing beside her.

"Kiitos!" she called from the doorway, smiling at the woods. She then closed the door and Sweden let out a small sigh before he dragged Denmark away. Once they were far enough, Sweden let his brother go.

"Er du sindssyg?" Denmark shoved at Sweden the moment he was free. "She's not the girl you want to kiss, is she?!"

Sweden huffed. "I dunnat see how it's any of yer bus'ness, but ja."

"Not my business?!" Denmark shoved Sweden again. "Not my business?! I'm pretty sure it's my business that my brother wants to do gross things with that little troll-woman!"

"Dunnat t'lk th't way 'bout ma wife," Sweden snapped, shoving Denmark back.

"Your what?!" Denmark gaped. "So you're telling me that she kicks you in the stomach, then throws me on the ground and now you want her to be your wife?!"

"Ja," Sweden replied as if it was the most normal thing ever. "Hon är söt."

"Sikke noget vrøvl!" Denmark crossed his arms over his chest and looked smug. "Not that it matters because guess what?"

Sweden narrowed his eyes at Denmark. "…What?"

"She's already got a boyfriend." Denmark smirked as Sweden's eyebrows furrowed as he recalled the blond boy at her home. "You'll never get to kiss her!"

Denmark probably should have been more wary about Sweden's deep thinking that resulted in his complete silence for days. It was so bad that Denmark was forced to spend time with that creep Norway. He couldn't help but be a bit worried for Sve and reflected on how awful girls were. His brother was a mere shell of the man he once was, all because of that little blonde monster.

And then, after nearly a week, Sweden managed to sneak out sometime in the night and reappeared in the afternoon with that little girl. She had been knocked out and was still unconscious, though Sweden's ripped clothing and new bruises made it very clear there had been a bit of a struggle.

Scandia didn't reprimand him at all and instead congratulated Sweden on 'being a man' and 'taking what he wanted'. Proud that his son had learned from him, he announced that they would have a feast that night to welcome their new family member.

Meanwhile, Norway was pretty indifferent to it all and wandered off to go spend some more time with the only friends he had—his imaginary giants and elves.

Denmark, though, did not approve, mostly because his stupid brother was so stupid and would probably spend all his time following that stupid girl around with his stupid tongue hanging out instead of doing awesome cool stuff with Denmark, like throwing rocks at things and trying to catch fish with their bare hands.

"Just wait," he mumbled to himself, leaving Sweden to keep making moony eyes at his stupid new girlfriend. "Someday I'll be the boss and I'll boss all these losers around! They'll see! You don't ever mess with Danmark!"


Denmark laughed as he retold their little meet cute, which caused Sweden's brows to furrow.

"Now look! You two are married with a cute house with a picket fence, a fluffy dog, a kid, three more on the way…"

"WHAT?!" Sweden gasped, staring at Denmark with huge eyes. "Finn's not—"

"Haha, no, the 'three on the way' is about me of course." Denmark grinned and gave his brother two thumbs up. "I'm living the dream! The American dream! Erryday!"

Sweden just rolled his eyes. "Still dunnat wanta. B'cause of ya Finn was terr'fied of me."

"Me? I'm not the one who stole her away in the dead of night like a creep!" Denmark shook his head and clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Just like some kind of caveman. Know how I got my woman? Patience. Patience and my awesome good looks."

"Uh huh." Sweden decided to be the bigger person and didn't remind Denmark that America had called him 'Dutchman' for years before Norway finally corrected her. To this very day she still sometimes called Sweden 'Switzerland'. America was good at many things, but reading a map that wasn't one of hers was not one of those things.

"Who knows?" Denmark hummed cheerfully. "Someday maybe you'll be as in love as I am right now."

"Yer gross," Sweden replied shortly.

Denmark laughed as if he had been told a funny joke and then clapped Sweden on the back. "So you'll do it?!"

"NEJ."

It was incredibly rare to hear Sweden raise his voice at all, which caused Finland, who had been doing tricks with Hanatamago elsewhere, to rush into the living room, prepared to fight someone. When she was it was just Denmark, she relaxed some.

"Oh, hei. What's going on?"

Sweden opened his mouth, but Denmark beat him to it. "Sve won't let me give America her Mother's Day present!"

Finland gasped, scandalized. Every Mother's Day Sweden always went all out with the presents. It was surprising to her that he would deny Denmark a present for America for such a holiday. "Why not?!"

"Well, a few weeks ago, America mentioned that the first song we ever danced to together was 'Take a Chance on Me'. You know, at that party in Amsterdam back in the day?"

Finland very quickly understood what Denmark had asked Sweden to do. She covered her mouth to keep from laughing while Sweden made his grumpy face (contrary to popular belief, Sweden's grumpy face and his neutral face were different… a bit).

"You want him to sing, then?"

"Of course! He has the voice of an angel!" Denmark looked at Sweden with big, sad eyes. "Help me, Sve. You're my only hope! Oh, and before I forget, I'm going to ask you to dress up as Ivan Drago."

"From Rocky?" Finland asked, her eyebrows scrunching together.

Sweden huffed, looking offended. "I'm not ev'n Russ'an."

"I know, but Dolph Lundgren is. C'mon, Sve, they were the first movies we watched together. She made me watch the whole series, all five of them about eight times in a row back in the '90s when I mentioned I hadn't seen them. The only reason we stopped was because I finally passed out during the one with Mr. T. I even made her this card!"

Denmark pulled out a card and showed them the front, which read 'Yo, Adrian!'

Sweden grimaced. He personally didn't mind America, or, at least, he didn't dislike her, but he couldn't quite wrap his mind around why Denmark was so crazy about her.

"So let me get this straight," Finland said slowly. "You want Sweden to sing ABBA while he's dressed as a Soviet boxer for Mother's Day?"

"Exactly!" Denmark beamed. "I already got Gilbert to be our waiter and France said he'd make our food. France says he doesn't even want us to pay him! He's doing it 'for amour' or something like that. And Gilbert's only doing it because I told him he could dress as Apollo Creed."

Sweden and Finland looked even more baffled and Denmark rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know, but it was the only way he'd do it. Anyway, I've got everything in order. I just need the entertainment!"

Sweden shook his head adamantly. "Nej, f'nd summ'ne else."

"How about instead of an ABBA song, you can sing some Roxette? Does that make you feel better?"

Sweden narrowed his eyes. "Nej!"

Finland shook her head at Sweden disapprovingly. "I'm surprised at you, Su."

Sweden suddenly looked horrified, like he couldn't stand the thought of disappointing Finland. "Wha…?"

"I'm surprised that you would deny a woman who is pregnant with three children some entertainment just because you have too much pride to sing some 'Dancing Queen' while wearing boxing gloves." Finland sighed. "But I can't make you. If you don't want to, you don't hav—"

"Okej, I'll do it," Sweden said quickly. Denmark fist pumped and ran out of there before Sweden could change his mind.

Needless to say, it was a very strange Mother's Day.


Author Notes

It's me! I'm here! This chapter was a lot of fun to write! It was originally going to be more historical and have some stuff go down between them, but it just became this. It mostly focuses on Denmark's relationship with Sweden. I was going to put Norway in here a little more, but I think it worked out better with just focusing on these two for now. I think that in modern day, Sweden and Denmark would be very close. And I like writing them as little boys who fight all the time. Anyway, this chapter was brought about by Snowdrop2018 who pointed out that I haven't really gone into detail about Denmark's familial relations! So I hope you guys all enjoy reading this as much as I liked writing it!

-Scandia: This was the name of the Scandinavian Peninsula back in the day, which includes what is now Sweden, Denmark and Norway. People often have the misconception that Finland is Scandinavian, but they are not. Do NOT tell a Finnish person they are Scandinavian. They probably won't correct you, but you'll be on their hate list. Anyway, I figure Scandia raised Sweden, Denmark and Norway, and he definitely raised them as awesome Viking warriors.

-Norway and the trolls: I don't know why, but I just got this idea in my head that Norway was raised by trolls. Seems fitting.

-Norse languages: Something kind of cool - if you learn Swedish/Danish/Norwegian, chances are you are going to be able to somewhat understand the other two languages. Don't get me wrong, they're not identical and you won't be fluent, but our languages are similar enough so that we can understand each other fairly well. Regarding Sweden's 'chewing on sticks' and Denmark's 'mud in your mouth' comments, I was making allusions to their accents - I've heard both described that way before. I was amused when one of my Danish aunts once told me that Swedish people "talk like they have marbles in their cheeks". That brings a funny mental image to mind.

-Ugh, writing Sweden's dialogue suuuuucks. Let me know if he's hard to make out and I can try to make him a little more legible.

-Denmark/Dutch, Sweden/Swiss: Oh, boy. It didn't happen too often, but occasionally I had people call me "Swiss" and it annoyed the living hell out of me. No, not even close. Not even a little close. Swiss people make clocks and chocolate. Swedish people make furniture and meatballs. Duh. One time, too, when I mentioned that I was part Danish, someone asked me if I smoked a lot of weed because it's legal there, right? The struggle is real.

-Rocky: I won't lie, I am not a huge fan of the Rocky movies, but my boyfriend is. I think America would be a big fan because Rocky is kind of the ultimate underdog, and given that America was also very much so an underdog back in the day, I think she'd be all over that.

-Ivan Drago/Dolph Lundgren: Haha, Denmark's right - Ivan Drago is from Rocky IV, and he's an evil Soviet boxer who (spoiler) kills Apollo Creed! Dolph Lundgren, the actor who plays him, is Swedish, however.

-Mother's Day: Mother's Day in America was May 5th this year. In Sweden it's on the last Sunday of May. For the record, I'd dress up as Ivan Drago if my mom wanted me to. Thankfully my mom is normal and just wants me to give her grandchildren.

-Normally I don't like to put too many things in foreign languages in my fics since I personally find it kind of annoying to have to scroll down to the translations and see what the characters are saying, and then scroll back up and so on and so forth. So I do apologize for the amount of Swedish and Danish in this chapter. I tried to only use phrases that I thought English readers could somewhat translate or get the gist of without having to scroll up and down all the time. Also, translating can be kind of a bitch, which is another reason I don't like doing it a lot. But given that I was writing dialogue between Denmark and Sweden, a lot of phrases just naturally started coming out in those languages. I actually cut a lot of those out to make reading easier.

Enjoy the warmer weather (or cooler weather if you live below the hemisphere, I suppose)! I know I am! Thanks for reading and enjoy your week!

Translations

Din bror (Swedish/Danish/Norwegian) – Your brother

Lille pige (Danish) – Little girl

Hold kæft! (Danish) – Shut up!

Hvad er dit navn? (Danish) – What's your name?

Kan du høre mig? (Danish) – Can you hear me?

Söt (Swedish) – Cute/Sweet/Adorable (take your pick)

Hallå. Vem är du? (Swedish) – Hello. Who are you?

Skitstövel (Swedish) - Poop boot. No, seriously, it means poop boot. If you want to insult someone in Swedish, tell them they are a boot full of shit.

Kiitos! (Finnish) – Thank you!

Er du sindssyg? (Danish) – Are you crazy?

Hon är söt (Swedish) – She's cute.

Sikke noget vrøvl! (Danish) – What nonsense!