I made a blog! A real-life professional blog! And I have one post on there already! The link will be below!

I also updated my Twitter account! You can find me on there under the name ReallyMadiLeigh.

ShoutOuts ~

Thistle1000: Haha hope you enjoy this then!

~ THEMESONGS ~

I Bet My Life ~ Imagine Dragons

One of Us ~ New Politics

.M.I.W.

52. Is this Her Starring Role?

His hands were everywhere, always pulling me closer as we struggled to get to whoever's suite was closest. We found our way in between fervent kisses and maddeningly soft caresses. If I'd been tipsy from the alcohol I consumed half an hour prior, I was definitely drunk off of Legolas's kisses now. Sometimes we would laugh and the noises echoed off the castle's still-empty hallways. We were the only two people in the world.

We tumbled into his room and his lips were on mine, hands clutching me tight while his silky hair circled around my fingers. But then he started pulling back, taking his hands off of my waist and slowly lowering my arms. His eyes were electric in the darkness. "I wish for you to know this was not my intention when I pulled you away from the coronation's festivities."

"That's all right," I breathed, my own nerves dancing around inside of me. It didn't feel like the typical butterflies, though. It felt more like Orcs jumping around in Moria. "I – It was probably mine."

It really hadn't been my intention either, but I don't think things would've ended any other way. Despite the nerves, I urged myself onward, popping the first toggle on Legolas's tunic. When I dared to glance up at his face, embarrassment hit me with the same force as an Uruk's blade. The elf looked just that startled. I jumped up to the tips of my toes to kiss the look away and he melted back into me.

Legolas's suite was the standard for chambers found in the rest of the castle. It was open and elegant and airy with a giant four-poster bed lined with silk sheets with an open balcony behind it, allowing moonlight to drench the room in silver. It bleached the pale color out of Legolas's tunic as it fell on the floor. He loosened the ties that made my dress an unfortunate second skin. Under his quick fingers, the first layer fell around my ankles. His undershirt was next. Then his chest was bare and pale against the harsh light. His skin was smooth under my fingers and I felt his muscles flex as he lifted me up and laid me on the bed.

I couldn't help but take a moment as Legolas broke our kiss so he could lie next to me. He was an absolute vision in the moonlight and he seemed look at me like I was somehow similar. Was this really happening? I had to kiss him again to make sure. He pulled me close to him, one hand resting lightly on my waist and slowly moving upward. He was so careful yet sure of himself, his confidence gave me confidence.

I realized how easy it would be to fall in love with him. How easy it was to stay in Middle Earth. Gandalf or Galadriel couldn't keep me away. Under the slight chill of the winter night and the warmth of Legolas's body that tried to shield me from it, I realized I could have the best life here ever. Wealth, status, power, protection, endless opportunities… I could have it all.

But I would also give a lot of things up. I wouldn't find that unimaginable strength Gandalf told me about in Helm's Deep. Galadriel said I would travel further than Middle Earth in Lothlorien, but those paths would be lost to me if I stayed. I wondered if I would be able to find a way to look at my reflection and see past the obvious gaping emptiness that became of me.

But the opportunities and the power… that wasn't why I came to Middle Earth. It was also why I couldn't…

Stay.

Legolas's hand reached the top of my ribcage before he realized I was crying. He pulled back with a start. "Madi?"

"I – I'm sorry." I straightened up, trying my best to scrub the tears away, but they wouldn't stop flowing. I covered my face with my hands. "I'm so – so sorry. I – I can't do this. Legolas, I – you have no idea how much I want this – but I – I – I –"

His arms wrapped around me as I sobbed into his chest. I felt him press his face into my hair. He whispered something I didn't understand, something in Elvish, before squeezing me tighter. "You've nothing to apologize for, arotoamin," he murmured. "I apologize, I did not mean for this to happen, we can go back to the festivities –"

"No, Legolas," I said, pulling back. When our eyes met, I saw the understanding darken his features in the most heartbreaking way. "I can't stay," I whispered.

His hands slipped off of me like he didn't have the strength to keep them up. He looked like the breath had been knocked right out of him. Something in my chest splintered deeper. For a split-second, in a fierce need for self-preservation, I almost changed my mind. One part of me, a large part that threatened to overturn my entire epiphany, wanted to know what the hell my problem was. How could I do this to myself? Do this to Legolas? Why was I trying to leave everything I worked so hard to build? Why not just stay and reap the benefits of such a successful adventure?

But the smallest part in me (that burned not like my seraph blades, but more like a small sun) urged me onward. It let me know that this wasn't exactly the 'right' choice, but it was my choice. It felt right to me.

I stood up. Legolas followed me, grabbing my hand. He bent down and pressed his lips against my forehead. "Na lû e-govaned vîn," he murmured. Not quite miraculously, I understood this phrase.

"I'll count the days until then," I promised, which made him smile. "I'll learn more Elvish before then too."

I slowly pulled away, our arms outstretched and hands clasped until I stepped just out of reach. I smiled at him through hazy eyes as he stood in front of the balcony and a backdrop of stars with clothes scattered between us. I finally turned around and ran out of the room.

I even left my shoes behind.

.M.I.W.

It felt like it'd been years since I'd seen my old gear. When I put it on, I was comforted by jeans and the clunky weight of my combat boots. The Led Zeppelin shirt underneath my leather jacket made me smile. I tried to turn on my phone and iPod for a solid minute before I realized they were completely out of power, so I stowed them in the pockets of a knapsack gifted to me by Aragorn (to stow the ridiculous amounts of Fellbeast hide, duh). I almost put the strange Civil War-era gun I acquired in there too, but ended up tucking it into the waistline of my jeans. I had my swords belted through the belt loops of my jeans and felt like I was ready to go.

I just had one more stop to make.

This stop led me all the way to Tombs of the Stewards within Minas Tirith's citadel. The tombs were basically an ornate cave with brick walls, wide hallways, and tombs carved out of the past stewards' likenesses like they were still watching over the city. Dimly lit torches dotted the way.

As I walked further into the tombs, the noise of the city ebbed away. I was cut off from the rest of the world, like I was wandering in another version of the Dimholt – albeit a nicer version. I followed the directions Faramir gave me, leading me into the further reaches of the Tombs. It was there I found an altar.

At the end of one of the corridors sat a familiar round Gondorian shield and massive broadsword propped up against the back wall. It'd been decorated with fresh white flowers and an inscription written above the items in a language I couldn't read. The sight was enough to bring me to my knees. I dropped to the dusty ground, the air leaving my lungs faster than I could breathe it in, and shrugged my knapsack off of my shoulders.

"I… should have come sooner," I admitted. "But I was scared. I didn't want to come here until I could prove to you I was worth saving, by following Aragorn to the end and kicking Sauron's ass, but I realized you knew that all along. I had to learn I was worth it."

I reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out another ivory triangle tied with leather – the last Fellbeast tooth. I leaned forward and set the tooth next to the shield before quickly pulling my hands away.

"That's a Fellbeast's fang," I explained. "Merry made everyone one of these after the battle on Pelennor Fields. It's the beast that belonged to the Witch King. I killed it to protect your city. I thought you would like to have it as a… I guess a memento of the victory."

Of course, I didn't get a response. To be honest, I didn't know why I was even talking in the first place. I stared at the shield in front of me and saw a tiny, bleary, upside-down reflection of myself in the small metal circle in its center. I wondered what he would say if he were sitting in front of me now. I wondered how different things would have been.

"I also wanted to tell you that you were right," I said. "About fighting for so long before you realize you can't. I understand what you mean now. I realized I've been fighting myself for a long time. I've been fighting with where I want to go and how I want to do it, but most importantly I've been fighting with myself about who I expect myself to be. I always thought I knew who I was – a weapon, a tool for other people to use so they could achieve their goals. I thought that was fine, I thought it was better than fine because if I didn't have my own dreams, the least I could do was help other people realize theirs."

The metal on the shield glinted under the glow of a torch. I narrowed my eyes.

"But I can't do it anymore," I whispered. "I won't. Not until I help myself first."

I stood up and hoisted my knapsack over my shoulders. I flicked out my hair, now free of any ties and somewhat-properly washed. It fell around my chest when I looked back down at the shield and sword. "Goodbye, Boromir," I said. "Thank you for everything."

.M.I.W.

I wasn't too surprised to stumble upon a little farewell party when I looked for a suitable place to pull up a portal. It only consisted of Gandalf and Elrond, but it was somehow fitting. They were sitting on the white stone benches in Minas Tirith's Court of the Fountain, overlooking the small pond in the center. It held the moon and stars in its reflection. Planted next to it was the small sapling of a new White Tree. They looked up when they saw me walking toward them.

"Fancy meeting you both out here," I said.

"We could not let you leave without saying goodbye," Elrond said, smiling as he stood from his bench.

"Goodbye for you," I said. "I guess for me it's an, 'until next time' kind of thing. Maybe."

The elf walked toward me and set a hand on my shoulder. "I certainly hope you return prior to this war and after it so that we may have a proper farewell then," he said.

The 'after' part made me uneasy. I didn't think I could take seeing Elrond depart for the undying lands. "Thank you for letting me sit in on the council meeting. I know it must've been strange to see me and not the person you were expecting."

"I assure you that you've been everything and more than I was expecting," he assured me. "You do not give yourself enough credit, Miss Verdantia."

"Yeah…" I said. "That's something I need to work on."

Gandalf stood as well and walked toward us. He looked at me with a little pity but no small amount of pride. "I know this decision was not an easy one to make," he said. "Though you must know by now it was the right one."

"I don't know if I'd go that far," I said, "but it feels right to me and that's all that matters. I can't wait to come back but I know there are a few things I need to do before that can happen."

Gandalf nodded, a small smile on his face. When my little realization came, I lost all the animosity I felt for him during the last couple of months, finally understanding all along that he'd only been trying to help my future-self keep me on track.

"Take this before you leave," Elrond said, walking back toward me with a medium-sized saddle bag he retrieved from underneath his bench while I spoke to Gandalf. I raised a brow at it. When the Elven-King put the strap in my hand, I almost tipped forward from the weight of whatever was inside. It was, like, twenty pounds. I quickly slung it on my shoulder and looked at the elf and wizard. "Please do not open it until you are in a safe place."

"What the hell is in here?" I demanded, itching to look inside now. "If this is another demon-in-a-bag, I may have to decline."

Both men chuckled. "It is only what you've been owed, Lady Verdantia. I promise you will find no living being in that bag."

"You better hope," I muttered. The weight of the bag was already digging into my shoulder. "Well, thanks in advance then to… whatever's in here."

"I hope your journey brings you much joy and answers to the questions you've been asking," Gandalf said. "May your grief in leaving be as swift as your return."

"Thank you, I hope it will be too," I said. I took another three-sixty of the world I was leaving behind, high up in Minas Tirith's towers. I smiled at those rolling-in-the-deep hills and the sexy moves-like-Jagger mountains further off. I looked up at the clear sky filled with a billion stars, a sight I'd miss when I went back to a world bound to cover them up with light pollution and smog. I reveled in taking in another breath of fresh air, but it hitched because I was getting choked up.

"Tell everyone I said goodbye," I said. "I wish I could do it myself, but I feel like if I stay any longer I won't be able to leave."

My arm shook as I raised it out in front of me.

Home. Home, home, home, home, home.

For a second, nothing happened. I realized it was because I was home.

My eyes watered. I fought past it.

My real home. Real, real, real, real, home.

A blue light ripped into the air. It expanded and spiraled out, creating a blue circle that cut through space and time. My time had come.

"Goodbye," I whispered.

I stepped through.

.M.I.W.

Ya'll don't even know how hard the first part of this chapter was to write. I had to take a few days to prepare myself. Every time I started writing this, I would flip-flop about how it would go down. I even considered a totally alternate ending because I love Madi being in Middle Earth that freaking much.

But I was actually really excited about all of the loose-ends that got tied up in this chapter. Boromir's farewell has always been something that needed to happen. I feel like it gave Madi the closure I know I've personally been waiting for. Same thing goes for her frustration with Gandalf.

So… are you guys ready for the next chapter? Because I really don't think you're ready for the shit that's about to go down.

So the blog is still a thing! Here's the link!

reallymadileigh . wordpress . com

And if blogs aren't your thing, check out my Twitter ReallyMadiLeigh because it will have the same stuff!