The author tapped her pencil against the wood of her desk, leaning a bit in her swivel chair. She honestly didn't know what to write; her funny ideas had already been placed into personal fanfictions she was working on, and her more serious concepts had been taken. She needed an idea, and quickly. Something was needed to satisfy her pencil's hunger.
Of course, she'd only be writing down ideas with the pencil, for she was no ordinary author. She loved to write about horror (despite how terrible she was at it) and romance and lots of adventure. She always tried to work towards improving, for even she wasn't perfect.
She thought and thought about an idea. Hard. She needed someone in the house to give her an idea, but all of their fucks had already been given. Literally. Every single last fuck. Even Luna gave an extra fuck, for updating for the author. Her Youtaite cousin was too busy singing with her Internet friends. Her collab partner on YouTube had gone on some trip...wasn't it to Florida? She couldn't remember.
Then, she did remember something completely different. Her most popular story, a drabble and challenge series, was having its first anniversary. She jumped up and immediately turned to her laptop, ready to type up a fresh, new chapter.
The author was prepared. It was her moment to shine and sparkle and such. She couldn't wait to see the priceless looks on her readers' faces. (Okay, she couldn't actually see their faces, but she knew their reactions would be priceless.) And yes, her final product would be the crappiest chapter ever typed up. The twists and turns she'd create would b a giant maze only she could get out of and recreate to redo the maze.
But Sakura was ready for the twists and turns.
Miku slowly opened her elder daughter's door, fearing the worst. Lenka had never emerged from it since Luki visited, meaning something bad, something so serious, probably happened, like Lenka possibly going all Ryuko Matoi mode on him. But no, it was the complete opposite.
The scene in front of her eyes was too explicit for this T-rated fanfic, but thank the mighty god that the sheets were covering the snuggling (and not to mention unclothed) blond and pinket. The tealette's face became bright red. 'Th-they...they went and now...now their purity is forever gone!'
She quickly whipped out her phone and called the one and only Luka Megurine-Kamui. Miku honestly didn't know which surname she went by anymore. Sometimes it was the next door neighbor, Luka Kamui. Other times, it was the tuna goddess, Luka Megurine. And, on special occasions, it was Luka You're-So-Fucked-There's-No-Running-Now Megurine-Kamui.
"Luka..." Miku breathed worriedly into the speaker.
"Miku? What's wrong?" Luka asked, her voice concerned for her best friend.
"Our number one ship is currently cuddling in bed." the tealette answered, and Luka squealed.
"Finally!" the pinkette cheered, and Miku knew Luka was jumping up and down and getting weird stares from Gakupo and Gakuko.
"That's not the problem." Miku said, and Luka's breathing nearly stopped.
"What?" she asked, and Miku sighed.
"They...lemme just say it this way: their purity is forever gone." she answered, and Luka screamed.
"SEND ME A PICTURE OF THIS MONSTROSITY!" she hollered into the speaker, blasting out Miku's eardrums and making blood start pouring out by the ton, and then hung up.
Miku sighed, taking a tissue and wiping up the blood, then quietly and carefully snapped a picture. Once sent, she shut off her phone, shut her daughter's door, then tiptoed away before breaking into a mad dash to her husband.
The blond was sitting with Ruko in the living room, reading The Fault in Our Stars again. "Len, Len! I next to borrow you!" his wife nearly yelled, taking his hands and forcing him to drop the book as she pulled him to the opening of Lenka's room. Ruko sighed, shaking her head, then started to read where Len left off.
"Wow, you want to do it again? Looks like your sexual appetite is-" "Look!" Miku said quietly, cutting off her husband. She slowly opened the door a crack and his eyes widened.
He couldn't believe it. His daughter had already- no. He couldn't bear to think it. Thank god it was Luki of all people, the boy who he trusted a lot. If it was anyone else, he'd probably beat the shit out of them. Well, except Teiru. Teiru and Luki were both good people, so if it had been one of them, Len would somewhat accept the scene.
"Blessed Mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes-Benz," he whispered, then added light cusses to the mix.
"Okay, let's go before one of them-" Miku was cut off as Lenka yawned and stretched her arms, making her mother turn a ghastly pale, "...wakes up."
"Run!" Len said, hastily but quietly shutting their elder daughter's door and then running upstairs faster than a cheetah could order fast food while having Usain Bolt push it for extra speed. Not to mention, another cheetah was making the food, so was it extra fast food?
"Holy motherfucking son of a shit that was close," Len cussed, putting his back against their door and sighing. He looked over at Miku, then blushed heavily. She was laying on the bed, giving him a very nice view from behind.
Len slowly stood up, smirking, as Miku looked at him. Her expression turned from peaceful to horrified in a split second and she turned over and started to say, "Len Kagamine, I swear to god, if you dare-"
The blond had seized her, wrapping his legs around her waist to make sure she stayed. She pouted. "Not nice. You could've...you could've gotten me too turned on! That would be especially bad, considering that Ruko's gonna wonder where we are, and then there's Lenka and Luki, and it's insane!" Miku ranted.
"And yet you don't regard the position we're in." Len replied, rolling his eyes and smiling. Miku smiled back.
"I feel like today's important..." she trailed, sighing. He sent her a questioning look.
"What kind of important?" he asked. "Like a birthday, or an event, or an anniversary-" "Yes! An anniversary of sorts! Only, I don't know what has an anniversary today..." Miku answered, cutting him off.
"Hey, you'll remember later. It's what comes with being a grandma." he said, chuckling.
"What did you just call me?!"
"N-nothing!"
"You better hope your ass that it was nothing!"
"Wait, what are you gonna- hey, don't touch that! You'll get me too turned on!"
"Maybe that's what I want."
VW: so you might be asking, "What anniversary, and why the self-insert?"
Well, the anniversary was mentioned at the beginning. Leeks and Bananas is having its first anniversary! God, was it really that long ago? And the self-insert was a bit focused on making me sound like a badass, but then I started getting super deep...
As customary, we will let the main characters of this story (Miku and Len) answer most of the reviews and apologize for anything on my part.
Reviews
Miku for Mew-chan: *opens Lenka's door again* they definitely won! It's alright, trust me. Maybe they weren't the right one. Besides, there are many other fish in the in the sea. Thanks for the review!
VW for iDontCare-chan: HAHA! I MADE SOMEBODY SUFFER! *clears throat* You are right, updating this story can be hard. Maybe I could make a one-shot or a two-shot? You know, that is true. I have to start fixing that little error. Don't worry, I'll start whipping up a Leiru one-shot or two-shot for you. If you want to, you can give me a prompt too! And...uh...surprise! I updated much quicker (I think) this time! Thanks for the review!
VW for Shino-chan: thank you! It's already been a whole year since this was published! Welcome back and thanks for the review!
Miku for Superstitious-chan: that's what Sakura does! She's especially a humongous meanie when she makes lemons (she made me read erotica in one lemon, do it with Len on the floor in three different lemons, and in one of those lemons she made me and Len have a Student-Teacher Romance)...thanks for the review!
Len for Lenku-chan: Sakura's trying to draw it. She suffers when drawing sometimes. YES! I AM THE KING OF PERVERTS! Wait, is that okay? (Lenka: my love life is screwed up...(VW: it's partially based on my love life, keyword is partially)) Oh, what Lenka says about old people...just ask Deruko's grandma what happened. That goddamn boy better be careful before I rip his dick off...thanks for the review!
VW: happy anniversary!
