Rachel didn't go to school the next day.

She had fully intended on maintaining her perfect attendance record when she woke up this morning. She had even gone so far was to jump on her elliptical but had foregone her banana and flaxseed shake for a root beer with vanilla ice-cream. But as the clock slowly edged towards eight, Rachel found herself dragging her feet. This feeling of dread, so crushing and overwhelming, made her hands shake as she plucked the crisp white shirt off the hangar.

It wasn't until she heard the familiar rumble of Puck's engine did she decide that she wasn't ready to face everything quite yet. She had peeked through the curtains, counting down the minutes as Puck waited patiently in his truck for her to come down and climb into his cab. Squeezing her eyes shut, she recalled the buried pain in his eyes as he had walked away from her.

Let me know when you decide if I'm a Lima Loser or not.

It was the way he had said the words, as if he truly believed them that had made Rachel want to throw open the curtains and let him know that she was still here. But at the same time there was a bigger part of her that wanted him to stay away, that wanted to shut herself up in her room all day and pretend that nothing else existed. That the boy she cared about for more than anyone else was having a child with the girl who had made her high school life a living hell.

The relief and guilt that crawled over her when Puck's truck pulled away from the driveway made her release a sigh.

I need this time apart. Because right now all I see is Puck who knocked up the head Cheerio. I want to see Noah again and that's just going to take time. Time and space.

Rachel made sure to sound suitably ill when she phoned the school secretary to inform her of her absence. Despite what she was feeling, her impeccable acting abilities masked the distress she was feeling inside and Rachel felt herself calm down a fraction when she realized that like any great starlet she worked well under extreme duress.

The rest of the day passed by in a haze. She ignored the texts from the Glee phone tree, though like some kind of maschoist she had found herself staring at the one Puck had sent. It was simple and to the point – I get why you aren't here. I'm sorry. Noah.Sucking in a breath, Rachel wondered why Puck understanding the need for her to be away from him was making her eyes burn. She had half-expected him to turn up at her door, banging and rapping against the wood incessantly like yesterday, demanding that she let him in. But the house remained as silent as it was whenever her fathers weren't around.

Rachel chose instead to engross herself in a self-imposed Supernatural marathon. Watching the Winchester brothers slay evil made her realize that things could have been worse. For instance, she could have accidentally started the apocalypse.

The knocking at the door made her start and Rachel flicked her eyes over towards the grandfather clock tucked into a corner of the living room. It was past the time school had let out. Climbing silently to her feet, she didn't see Puck's truck parked anywhere nearby but pressed herself against the peephole to be sure. Seeing who was scowling at her through the glass, Rachel attempted to plaster on a innocent expression before swinging open the door.

'Jose? What a pleasant surprise-'

'Cut the crap Ria,' her friend answered somewhat rudely, rolling his eyes as he simply walked into her house uninvited. 'That act ain' foolin' no one. Now why don't you tell Jose why the fuck your boyfriend asked me to check up on you?'

'I have no idea what you are talking about,' Rachel stated firmly, locking the door behind him.

'Look, do I have to kick Puckerman's ass or not?'

It was a tempting offer but the thought of Puck being subjected to Jose's particular brand of violence didn't seem appealing. Instead, Rachel bit her lip and expelled a breath.

'No, you do not. Really, haven't we discussed your rather automatic response to any situation being inflicting-'

'So then why weren't you in school? Streisand wasn't signing any autographs or some shit like that, and you aren't dyin' or mortally wounded,' Jose stated flatly, running his eyes over her face. Rachel quickly averted her eyes away from him, knowing that he would know that something was wrong the minute he studied her too closely.

The sound of a shotgun going off made her wince. Jose barely glanced at her as he strolled towards the living room.

'Nothing's wrong my ass. You only watch this when you feel like shit.'

The thought of telling Jose about what Puck had told her yesterday was tempting. For a glorious moment she considered doing just that, but then some of Puck's words reverberated through her skull.

The only reason why Quinn even talks to me is because I haven't breathed a word about how I'm the father.

If Quinn finds out I told you, I might never see my baby girl. But I thought you deserved to hear it from me.

Rachel hadn't shed a tear after Puck had left. But Jose was standing in front of her, with his dark brown eyes and faded leather jacket, and for some reason she couldn't hold it in anymore.

'Ria? Seriously. You look like the time you found out that Dean dude was gettin' hitched-'

She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing her face against his chest. Puck's face swam underneath her eyelids and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, hoping that the added effort would make it go away.

You were the only good thing in my life.

And I know half the time I pretend, but Rachel…

Jose murmured a few comforting words in Spanish she had heard his mother whisper at Enrique's funeral as she held up her distraught son. Rachel had forgotten the meaning of them but the soothing cadence of his voice conveyed the message behind them. She scrabbled her hands around his loose shirt, balling up the fabric as her body shook.

'Hey its gonna be okay, alright? No voy a permitir que nadie te (I'm not going to let anyone hurt you),' Jose said softly as Rachel forced herself to clutch tightly at the fraying threads of her emotions.

'I don't know what that means,' she managed to say wetly, pushing herself off his chest. Jose chuckled and Rachel smoothed the wet patch on his shirt before finally stepping away.

'Feel better now?'

Rachel nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

'You wanna talk about it or somethin'?' Jose asked and Rachel thought she could have laughed at the awkward tilt to his shoulders.

Tell him about it. Let him tell you what to do.

But Noah told me that because he wanted me to know. Because he said I deserved to know…

Honestly Rachel Berry, hypothesize!

'I…' She trailed off, unsure of how to phrase her words.

'This is about Puckerman right?'

There was no use denying it. 'There is a strong possibility-'

'Ria, you just bawled your eyes out all over me. Unless you gimme a reason not to go beat the mohawk off his head, you better start talkin'.'

'He lied to me,' she blurted out upon hearing his threat. Because that was the one of the main reasons why she didn't want to see Puck right now, couldn't. He had strung her along and Rachel had had enough of that with Finn. She had thought Puck was different but in the end, he had hidden away something important. Something that Rachel thought she needed to know.

You don't need to know he slept with Quinn. There's a difference between wanting and needing. You needed to know so you could have protected yourself. You didn't want to know this at all.

Would arguing semantics have made hearing it any less painful?

No.

'I thought he was…I thought maybe he was my fairy tale. I'm a teenaged girl. Am I not entitled to having that one boy who take me for what I was? And Puck swooped in with that ridiculous haircut and his inane need to pepper every conservation we had with profanity. But then he told me he liked me and I thought maybe I could be normal and have a boyfriend. And then yesterday he told me…he told me something and right now I can't even think about looking at him without feeling like someone is tap dancing all over my chest,' Rachel exclaimed, barely pausing to take a breath as she wrung her hands and paced the short length of the corridor. 'Yet knowing what's he's done, I can't help thinking that I still…that I need him to be here for me because otherwise I…' She finally stopped, flicking her eyes to meet Jose's intense gaze. For a brief moment she rested her brown irises on the name tattooed across his neck, Jose rubbing the spot self-consciously.

'You really like this dude huh? No bullshit,' he warned.

'Yes, I do,' Rachel murmured and some of the weight lifted off with that admission. 'And maybe that's the problem. Because I shouldn't. But I do. Does that make me insane?' There was a pleading note to her voice. Jose pressed a hand on her arm, squeezing it lightly.

'You're insane most of the time Ria. But I think this time you're pretty normal.'

'Really?' Rachel breathed. 'It doesn't seem like I have some kind of sadomasochistic tendency to attach myself to pain and suffering-'

'Rachel,' the rare use of her name from her best friend made her click her jaw shut. 'Just…take a breath okay? Good. So Puck-'

'His name is Noah,' Rachel corrected him. Jose merely cocked an eyebrow.

'Puckerman lied to you and because of that you want to hate him but you can't?'

'Well, that is a rather simplistic summary of my tumultuous emotional well-being but I suppose it will suffice for a general overview,' she answered.

Jose shook his head.

'I get it. I think,' Jose murmured, touching the ink of his neck subconsciously and Rachel wanted to tell him that he did. But she didn't because Puck had told her he was the father and no one else. She was going to respect his unspoken wish.

'Could we…perhaps watch Sam and Dean attempt to stop the end of the world while indulging in a dairy intake that would inevitably damage my vocal cords?' Rachel suggested. Jose wrinkled his nose.

'Ria, I think sometimes you forget I ain' a chica.'

Rachel pushed her lower lip out, listing her head to the sight.

'You had to do that shit with the eyes and the lips,' Jose groaned. 'Whatever. I'm ordering a pizza. 'If you try to braid my hair, I'll fuckin' shoot you.'

She looked pointedly at his shaved head before turning back towards the living room, hearing Jose shuffle his feet as he took the phone off the hook. Hearing him tell the local pizzeria what he wanted in a surly tone, Rachel reached for her Blackberry. Scrolling down towards Puck's name she bit down on her tongue before finally tapping her thumbs against the keypad.

I'm sorry too. I'll see you tomorrow. Caroline.

Jose threw himself onto the sofa, sprawling himself out comfortably. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as she tucked herself into her best friend's side. Like so many times before Jose absently ran a hand through her hair as they focused their attention on the screen.

And, just for a moment, Rachel found herself forgetting about Puck and Quinn and the baby. It still lurked in the corner of her mind but it didn't surge over her consciousness and consume it whole.

'Thank you for checking up one me,' she whispered and Jose rubbed her scalp in response.

'You're familia Ria. Just returnin' the favour.'

For the first time in two days, Rachel smiled.

a/n:

You're going to have to read Jose's chapter in "North: The Outtakes" to understand this chapter a bit more.