Chapter 50! W T! Never thought I'd come this far. Or that if I ever did it would be on this part of the story...
Chapter 50. First visitation
I sat in that corner for a while, until there wasn't any water left in my system to cry out. After that I just sat there, fighting a losing battle for my sanity. What was going on... As if on cue, someone knocked on the door right before I was ready to give in and just let go of everything.
Kyo: "Hey, how..."
Kyo said, walking in. When he saw me, he didn't even need to finish the question. Instead, he came over and slowly sat about halfway up the bed, close but not too close to make me try and move away. I knew that I should know him, but... I didn't. I instinctively moved away from all of them.
Kyo: "I'm sorry, Taren... You didn't deserve this. How did it even... There's something else. Something that should be said, sooner rather than later. I know all of this is hard to take in, so much harder than I can even imagine, but..."
Taren: "You... who are you? Who were you... to me? I... I don't remember... I don't remember anything I feel I should, and that makes me feel so..."
Kyo: "So... You believe us?"
I laid my head down into my arms, feeling so tired. Too tired to do anything. After a moment or so, I felt a hand placed onto my head very calmly. Looking up, Kyo was staring back at me looking as if he understood in some ways. He removed his hand just as calmly as he had placed it, leaving me to wonder if he was used to doing that or something.
Kyo: "I'll... try to be careful with how I say this. When Rachel... left... You normally would have been taken away. We found a loophole of sorts, though. Taren, you're... my adopted brother, pretty much."
Wait...what? First, by "taken away" did he mean... like an orphanage or something? He was right, I was... here instead of elsewhere, as a normal kid would be after losing his family. But, what did he mean that I was his "brother?"
Taren: "...Brother...?"
I stated, trying to wrap my head around that one. Both of us sat there, looking at each other for a few minutes, or at least that's how it felt.
Kyo: "How are you feeling?"
Taren: "I-I'm... not sure. It hurts, all of this does, but... I've already been through it once before, right? Somewhere deep down, I think I realize that. I think that... I'll... be fine. It may take a while, but..."
I heard him sigh, and a little bit later, despite me already being cramped into a corner, he somehow managed to lean over and hug me, catching me unawares. At first I shifted around a little bit, feeling as if I should push this unknown person away, but... At the same time, it was as if there was something inside of me that could just about but not quite remember who he was. As I tried to grasp at it, or at anything, it slipped away.
Kyo: "There's somewhere I need to take you. If you don't mind going out, that is..."
He got up, looking back at me as I sat there trying to wade through all of my feelings. At first I was tempted to decline, and just to sit here alone for longer, maybe even all day, and night as well. But, I knew nothing good would come of that, of sitting here wallowing in sorrow and self-pity. If I really had forgotten so much... There was a lot I needed to catch up on.
Taren: "I... suppose."
He smiled sadly, and walked out of the door into the hall. I followed him, still feeling cautious around everything. It all felt so foreign, but as I glanced here and there and thought about it, that same feeling as if something was almost in reach but not quite kept coming up. It was beginning to become irritating, I wanted to grind my teeth each time it happened.
He led the way down the same hall and past the door that Yuki had first come from, and we reached a foyer area. He reached down, slipping his own shoes on, but it took me a moment to actually locate mine. At first I was looking for my new pair of shoes, but once I found them I was surprised by how worn out they were. I guess that was another sign about the truth, letting me know that there was a lot that had happened which I didn't know about.
Together we left the house, and I walked behind him, putting a little space between us. I didn't really know how I should act around him, or anyone else for that matter. How had I been before? What had I done? Said? How should I act? All of these questions troubled me now, and not just about Kyo. About everything and everyone. What if... I had forgotten things that were very important? What about school, I didn't even know what we had been studying for the last few months, how in the world would I be able to do anything?
Mulling such things over in my head, I didn't pay attention to where we were going. Before I knew it, we stood in front of a cemetery, and Kyo was looking at me like he was worried."
Taren: "Why are we..."
I said quietly, but stopped and followed him inside anyways. It wasn't too long after then that Kyo stopped once more, this time looking down at a tombstone. Part of me didn't want to look, I even tried to a few times but just looked away again. After a minute or two though, I convinced myself that I had to. I didn't want to miss out on anything, not now, not when there was so much that I seemed to need to catch up on.
Turning my head, I began to read from the top of the stone to the bottom, my eyes catching partway down as they reached my sister's name, scrawled there in cursive. A lump in my throat caught, making it hard for me to breathe. Slowly a pain climbed its way from my throat up to my eyes, and I sand to the ground slowly, beginning to cry again.
I didn't want to see this, I didn't... but I had to. I stayed that way on the ground for a while, trying to hold myself together while also tearing myself apart, striving to reach and grab hold of those elusive bubbles that floated back and forth in my mind. Without realizing, I had already walked back home with Kyo guiding me with an arm before I came to my senses.
It was sunny outside, and decently warm. At any other time, that would have seemed wonderful. Right now, though... I wondered how the world could be so beautiful when I was such a mess, and both my sister and parents were dead.
I spent the rest of the night close to everyone, but also trying to put small amounts of space between us all. They would all hog up to the table, but I would be a few inches away at least, allowing some sort of comfort zone. It may have hurt them in some ways, I don't know, but they knew that it was what I needed for now. To be close to others and also away. At least... I wasn't "alone" like I thought I was once in a while.
