A/N: 20 days after my last update in 2014, my brother passed away. That kept me from writing anything for a while. After that, admittedly, I didn't have the drive to write as much. I've also been terribly busy with work.

I haven't given up writing though. And like I mentioned before, I would never leave a story unfinished. And I'm still floored by the fact that people still read and favorite my fics. Thank you so much for the support long after the show had concluded. You have no idea what it does to me and my heart.

This is a filler chapter and the next one is nearly complete, so you should have that towards the end of next week. That one's so much better than this one, but I wanted to fill out some gaps in the date.

It's been almost a year since I last wrote anything, and 2 years since I last wrote House and Cuddy, so please bear with me as I fully familiarize myself with my characterization of them in this story. I hope it hasn't become too rusty. :)

Please shoutout if you're still reading! I'd love to see familiar names and definitely wouldn't mind the new ones, too.


ABSENCE


CHAPTER 49: HOPES AND FEARS


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August 2012

"Don't be an idiot," he told her teasingly, his voice low and sweet.

"I'm not," she denied, her brows furrowing.

House was driving and she was looking out the window, distracting herself with the outside world. He didn't respond, his lips thinning. When they stopped at a red light, he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You should be happy; everything's fine," he reminded her, "You're fine. The spawn of Satan is fine."

She shot him a lousy glare, already exhausted even if it was only ten in the morning.

"That's it?" he pouted, "No scolding your baby daddy?"

"Shut up," she told him, sighing.

"Cuddy…"

"I'm not in the mood, House. Just keep driving."

He did as he was told, keeping his mouth shut until they got home.


After he'd parked in the driveway neither of them got out.

"I know you're scared," House mumbled after a moment of silence, swinging his head to the side, to look at her. She was still looking outside, ignoring him.

"And me being scared makes me an idiot?" Cuddy asked after about a minute, keeping her eyes on the front door of their house.

He knew he could be an idiot sometimes, hiding his concern in sarcasm and even hurtful comments. Most of the time he was able to drive his point through, but there were times he did regret being a bastard. Those times were when they were directed at her.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, taking hold of her hand again. He brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it, making her look at him, her gaze softening as she wordlessly let him in on her inner turmoil.

"I hate you," she smiled, before unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning towards him to press her lips to his briefly. When she pulled away, she leaned back in her seat and adjusted herself so she was facing him.

"We should head inside," he mumbled, the corners of his mouth tugging up.

"In a bit," she sighed.

"There's nothing to worry about. You're fine," he repeated Owen's words. Cuddy's doctor had been very optimistic about this pregnancy, so far. All her tests were normal and she didn't even require any bed rest. At least not yet.

Her lips pursed in thought before telling him, "For now, I'm fine. We've got over eight months for things to go south."

"I'm rubbing off on you," House joked, smiling.

"You've always wanted me to be more realistic," she smirked.

He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. Looking into her eyes, he promised, "I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you and our baby are safe."

Cuddy's eyes softened as she looked into his eyes, heart thudding in her chest. She knew he was serious. She knew that, at times, he still felt responsible for what had happened to Sofia. They were already past what may or may not have been his fault, but it didn't stop him from blaming himself still, when his thoughts strayed to that dark place. It gutted her whenever it resurfaced. It was gutting her now.

Instead of arguing that he couldn't promise her anything, she pulled her hand from his and cupped the side of his face. She leaned her forehead against his, closed her eyes, and just breathed him in.

"Everything's going to be okay," House promised, pressing his lips to the crown of her head.

She hoped with all of her heart for him to be right.


December 2012

Cuddy rolled her eyes when Wilson barged into her office and asked, "What have you done to House?"

With a hand on his hip and an accusing finger pointed at her, he looked every bit the mother hen House frequently teased him of being.

She snorted and made a face at her husband's best friend.

"What did he do now?" she let her pen drop onto the paper she'd been reading and leaned back against her chair, hands folded over her ever-expanding stomach.

"He's taken to camping out at Pediatrics," Wilson told her, approaching her desk and sitting himself on one of the chairs in front of it.

"Willingly?" Cuddy snickered.

Wilson crossed his arms over his midsection and chuckled, nodding.

"He's been playing for them," he shared, "On the piano."

Cuddy smiled at that, her hand unconsciously caressing her belly, recalling the countless times House has played for her.

She looked at Wilson, beaming as she asked, "Has he told you what we're expecting?"

Wilson huffed and shook his head. He'd been trying to prod House to tell him, but he wasn't having any luck. Only after she'd asked him did he realize that he should have just asked Cuddy instead.

"A boy," Cuddy revealed, happiness reflecting in her eyes.

The corners of Wilson's eyes crinkled as he smiled brightly, laughing as he took her in. His best friend's wife- the woman he never thought House would ever find let alone marry, sitting before him, and pregnant at that.

"I'm happy for both of you," Wilson said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. It was the truth. After everything they have been through together, they deserved true happiness.

"Thank you." Cuddy squeezed his hand in return before she pulled free from his grasp and stood.

"Come on," she invited Wilson, rounding her desk to lead the way out of her office.

One of Wilson's bushy eyebrows shot up as he got up and followed her lead.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"He's playing for children," she said simply, "For whatever reason that happened, you can't deny he's great at the piano. I wouldn't mind listening for a bit."

Wilson smiled, nodding in agreement.

They made their way to one of the rooms in Pediatrics where the piano was situated.

Cuddy met House's eyes when she and Wilson stepped into the room. He smirked at her and her eyes twinkled as her heart bloomed at the sight of the little girl sleeping on his lap, tiny face pressed against his chest.

Seeing her fawning at the visual he presented, House rolled his eyes, making her laugh quietly.

"He's always been good with kids," Wilson commented, taking in the children surrounding House, most of them on the floor while the others paid him no mind, playing with one another instead.

This was something she knew long before they started dating, so Cuddy just nodded.

As she listened to him play, she couldn't help but imagine him teaching their son about music and instruments.

Gruff as his exterior may be, she knew he would be a great father.


February 2013

There was always something about mornings that made them vulnerable; more prone to divulging their fears and their hopes for the future.

One February morning House decided one detail was long overdue.

He turned in bed to face Cuddy and, as his fingers caressed her stomach, the life ever-growing inside her fluttering under his touch, he whispered, "I think it's time we worked on the nursery."

Still hazy from sleep, she smiled lazily and pressed herself against his chest, breathing in his scent.

Her smile faltered a heartbeat later, unbeknownst to him, as she remembered the last nursery they had worked on. The last time, when they had worked on Sofia's room, everything had been perfect. And everything would have been better if their daughter had lived on, but it wasn't meant to be. It still hurt, thinking about the baby who embodied almost all of her features. Sofia was beautiful. But she was gone. Remembering the fight she'd had with House over packing up and donating the items in the nursery also clawed at her heart. She repressed a shudder and instead exhaled unsteadily.

After a moment, she dragged herself from those memories and focused on the opportunity to make new ones. With him. Always with him. And the baby boy she'll be bringing into the world.

A moment later her smile returned as she envisioned a little boy with curly hair and eyes as bright and blue as the sky.

Fingers ghosting over the bare expanse of her back, he asked, "Is that a yes?"

Cuddy tilted her head to look at him as she smiled and nodded.

He pressed his lips to hers in a quick peck, before bringing his forehead to rest against her own.

Warmth filling his chest, House nodded once and breathed, "Okay."