Mystic Knight Online
Chapter 44 - Hoped For and Dreaded
August 11, 2024 - Aincrad 61st Floor, Selmburg
Harry found himself looking out the window, considering the events of the day. For some reason, he found himself troubled by something, and he was trying to determine what it was.
It wasn't as if anything that happened was exactly unexpected. The boss fight went as expected, their having a mini party was normal, and Klein's turning up was something they had been expecting for weeks.
Unanticipated and unplanned for, perhaps, but still expected. If anything, he was surprised that it took Klein this long to finally try and find out. Not that they disclosed everything to him, but the man knew full well that they hadn't. The man wasn't stupid, and they were in public.
But still, something was giving him a bad feeling.
He then felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind, breaking his train of thought.
"Something's bothering you," he heard Keiko say. "Was it Klein coming by and asking us about Strea and Yui?"
He shook his head. "No, it's not that," he replied as he turned to face her, careful to not dislodge her arms. "Or not exactly, anyway. I think that his coming by and asking us about them reminded me of what we can't tell him, someone we trust." He said as he pulled her in closer. "It's the secret, you know. We know who our resident demiurge is playing as, and… we can't tell anyone."
"Is it keeping secrets that bothers you?"
Harry considered that question carefully. Is it? He thought before discarding the idea. He might not like having to keep it, but it he expected Kayaba to ensure that no one who knew could tell it. He wasn't comfortable with it, but that was not what was bothering him after he thought about it.
It could be the secret of his magic, the maintenance of which had been driven into his skull as soon as he arrived at Hogwarts. For him, it had been rather easy. He had no friends outside Hogwarts, and his relatives wanted nothing to do with it. But then he got caught up in SAO, and made friends. Friends he had to dissemble with about it, but he had avoided outright lying.
That would have not only left a bad taste in his mouth, but probably cost him the friendships he made. It had been better to carefully edit that information, or simply not talk about it, than to lie. He knew that his way of handling it wasn't the best out there. They could figure it out by simply thinking it over and connecting the various dots, but it had managed to work this long.
Not that they weren't close to figuring it out anyway. Silica's admission of being from a part of Tokyo that was the source of a number of urban legends, and Argo confirming that many of them were true, simply meant that it would be much sooner than even he expected.
It was less that something was bothering him, he realized. He was afraid. He just didn't know why.
##
Keiko considered what her husband just said and nodded. She knew him well enough to know what was being left unsaid. She might have asked if keeping the secret of Kayaba's identity was bothering him, but she already knew that wasn't the case. He might not be entirely comfortable with it, but he was used to keeping secrets.
She could feel the tension in his body, could see it in the occasional worried look he sometimes would have on his face, could hear it in the brooding silences he would fall into. Things he would rarely do in public, but in the privacy of their room, with his normal barriers relaxed, would come to the fore.
She felt his arms tighten around her briefly, and looked him in the eye. "Care to talk about it?" She asked. "We might be able to figure it out then."
Harry said nothing, and she let him keep his silence. She knew he was chewing on it right now.
"Tell me, Keiko," he said suddenly. "Have you ever wondered if we really want this to end?"
She blinked. "Umm, what?" She asked.
"Have you ever wondered, if we, all of us, want SAO to end?" He shook his head. "I know I have, and a part of me doesn't want it to. But... why?"
She mulled that over, thinking about what he said, and trying to determine why he said it. Had she ever wondered such a thing? If she were honest, she hadn't really thought of it. She had a family she wanted to… oh.
Oh, damn. She knew what was bothering him now.
Of everyone, she knew what he wanted the most, a family. Here in SAO, he did, albeit an unconventional one. None of them were related, but they had all come together. They were extremely loyal to each other, would have each other's back, they laughed, they argued.
He was afraid that he'd lose that.
Here, he was Hadrian "call me Harry", the Young Knight, the Mystic Knight, the Red Killer, a member of the Assault Team. Here, he had gained fame and notoriety from his actions, but they were his actions. Regardless of whatever it was, he earned everything here. Heroic, regrettable, mundane, or anything else, they were his, and the expectations of others were in light of that. Outside, he was famous for something he didn't do, merely was lucky enough to survive. Outside, people had expectations of him that had little to do with reality, and more to do with an image of him in their own minds.
Outside, he didn't earn it, but unwillingly paid the price for it anyway. That fame and notoriety came at the cost of his family. He had been raised in an abusive home. He considered what he had Outside, aside from the friends he made, to be of little value, simply because it wasn't something he earned. Money? He would have rather been a beggar if it meant he would have a family. Fame? He didn't want it, and didn't need it for that matter.
In SAO, he got the one thing he wanted most of all. And when SAO ended…
Oh, Harry, she thought sadly as she pulled him closer. "Don't worry about that," she said firmly. "When this ends, I will find you. I will be there. And, if the rest of my family doesn't like it… they'll get over it." She closed her eyes. "They better."
Please, Keiko thought, though she wasn't sure who she was pleading to. Please don't make me a liar.
##
Asuna looked at the pages of the book she was reading, not seeing the words. Klein's arrival had gotten her to start thinking. Right now, they were sixty-seven floors up the tower, and would likely finish clearing it within a week. Two at most.
She knew that Klein's visit made her feel reflective, though she didn't know why. She was trying not to project... but she thought the others were sliding into the same feeling. It wasn't even the questions that he asked, for that matter. It was more his arriving while they were having lunch served to remind them how long they had been there, and how they were beginning to approach the end goal.
It was the sense of predictability. It was how they could look at their progress, and give an accurate estimate on how long it would take to clear a floor, or what situations they were bound to face, or what resources they needed for the week, and a thousand other things. It was how they could anticipate a person's actions due to how well they all knew each other. Twenty-one months. It took twenty-one months for it to sink in for her.
How she had changed. How she was almost unrecognizable from her older self. When this is over, she thought herself for not the first time, Asuna the lady of war will be gone, won't she? And I'll have to be Asuna the corporate princess again? She felt her jaw clench. Like hell that will happen, I've changed too much.
Even with Strea and Yui having indicated that Outside was well aware of what was going on in SAO, it wasn't as if they had proof. She didn't think that the two AIs were lying. In fact, she firmly believed that were being truthful to the best of their knowledge. But even without her experiences here in SAO, she would have remained doubtful unless they provided proof.
However, if they were being honest, she could already imagine that her family hadn't taken everything well, especially her mother. While she knew that that the woman loved her, and saw her as more than just another means to advance upwards, she was well aware that her mother was a woman who would happily decide her daughter's life for her, feelings be damned. For the best reasons, perhaps, but what her mother thought was best was different than what she thought was best. Especially now.
She had made a life for herself. One without her family's money. One without their influence. One where she had to determine her own fate on her own. The freedom of being herself. She did not want to lose it, though she would compromise on some things. Within reason. Social norms had to be met, after all. But if they dictated that she had to pretend to be someone she wasn't, then she would tell those social norms to go get fucked. In those words.
And she would tell her family the same if it came to that.
Or, if necessary, she would just leave it all, and shack up with Kirito. Wait, what? She thought to herself. Where the hell did that come from?
##
Rain untied the braid she kept her hair in when out in the field and took a brush to it. While such cosmetic work wasn't necessary, the familiar routine of it did a lot to help her wind down from an active day.
It had been nice to see Klein outside of a boss fight. He had been busy with taking care of the lower leveled members of his guild, being there, offering his expertise, and such. And not out of any sense of responsibility, either. He was like that. He would help those who needed it.
He was Everybody's Bro. It was who he was.
His reasons for showing up like he did had been expected. It might have taken longer than they all thought, but they knew he would approach them to ask about Strea and Yui eventually. The only surprising thing about it, was that he hadn't hit on Strea. Uncharacteristic of him, given that he hit on anyone female that was reasonably of age. Well, unless they were spoken for. Then again, despite her bombshell body, Strea gave off an aura of being younger than she appeared.
Which was true, though they could imagine Klein's reaction if he knew just how young she was. She hoped she had an image crystal for that moment. She'd want it saved forever.
Or at least as long as we're here, part of her said... dolefully? Deadpan? Flat?
She wasn't sure, but that voice was reminding her of this more often these days, much to her annoyance. She preferred to take things as they came nowadays, especially given her prior obsession with killing Red-eyed XaXa. The regrets which spawned it were a familiar ache, but she liked to tell herself that she had moved past it.
It was healthier for her to set aside the past as much as she practicably could. She couldn't set all of it aside, but it kept her from completely breaking down under the weight of it all. Her own little defense mechanism.
Leave the worrying to the others, she sternly thought to herself. They all have things to worry about. Harry, with his secrets being exposed or accidentally outed. Asuna, with her responsibilities. Kirito with his shame at his early conduct when all this started…
She broke up that line of thought, and concentrated on brushing her hair. There was only one thing she really wanted now, but it was something that couldn't be found or obtained in SAO. Of course, even if she wasn't in SAO, she was almost afraid that it was a fool's hope to achieve. She and her sister had been parted for almost a decade now, and it was very possible that she didn't even remember her own mother and older sister.
Well, there was also the urge to tell her father what she thought of him, but that was a distant second to reuniting with Nanairo.
And to have a hope of achieving that, she needed to survive SAO.
August 12, 2024
"Have any of you wondered if you want this to end?"
Strea blinked at Harry's question and looked at him. She could tell the others were also puzzled, save for Silica, who was giving him a look of sad understanding. End? What was he asking? The meal? The guild? SA…
She gave him a closer look and saw the conflicted expression he had. Reading human expressions still stymied her, but she was getting better.
"If we get ourselves through to the end," She said. "Yui and I have figured out a few escape routes," She knew that wasn't all he was worried about, but he did smile briefly when she mentioned it. "I'm glad, but-"
"Idiot. I already told you." Silica said fondly. "You're worried about noth- no, not nothing. You're right to be concerned about that... but it was only part of it, wasn't it?"
Harry looked around at them all, and Strea was struck by the... love. That was it. The flavor was different for each of them, but Harry loved everyone there.
"It's easy here, in some ways," he said. "Out there... there's all this bollocks waiting for us. I have mine, and you've all given signs of yours. And out there, maybe it will all get in the way. I'll be in England, for crying out loud. I don't think they'd just let me go because-" He stopped and shook his head. "I guess that a part of me doesn't want this to end. Can't blame it, really. I got what I had wanted here. Family. Friends. And I don't want to lose it."
"... we're all being idiots."
Lux's voice snapped them all out of their thoughts. When she saw them looking, she smiled a little weakly at them.
"All this time, we've told ourselves that to deal with what's in here, we have to bury what's Outside. The lives we have to get back to, the people we've left behind, the things undone. But that's bullshit," she cursed, and even Strea blinked. Lux rarely got rough with her Japanese, let alone cursed in English. Less so than even Asuna, from what she could tell.
"What are you-" Asuna began.
"We kept using SAO to do what we initially wanted to do with it, even now," Lux said. And her interrupting Asuna like that was another rarity for her. "To escape. To forget. To pretend. We just changed the context. We're still working to get out of this, but we've also been trying to act like this is an escapist moment from our 'real lives'.
"We need to stop lying to ourselves! Fighting for our lives in here? That sounds about as real as it gets, don't you think? And now we see 'real life' looming like the ultimate floor boss." She shook her head with some frustration. "We built lives here, but is it really living? The only reason the end of this looms is because we're running from it!"
"It's the running away that makes it bad," Harry said, smiling as if... recalling something, Strea would guess.
"Exactly." Lux said. She leaned forward. "The only thing that will keep Steel Phoenix from being reborn out there in whatever form it takes, is us." She bit her lip. "So, my name's Hiyori Kashiwazaka, nice to meet you."
Harry smile turned into a grin. "Well, might as well introduce myself. Properly this time. I'm Harry Potter. And it's funny... my headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has a dear friend who's a phoenix."
Huh? Strea thought. What is he…?
"... what?" was how Kirito broke the silence.
"Fawkes is not the headmaster's pet, a being that intelligent is no one's pet." Harry stated.
Asuna gave Harry a worried look, but Silica spoke up first. "I'm Keiko Ayano, and half the people I'm close to in my grandparent's generation transform into something else when you douse them with hot or cold water. Hell, my grandpa becomes a grannie... who could still kick all our asses without sweating, even if we kept the stats we have here."
Kirito blinked. "Harry- your Unique Skill... is that how-"
"Kayaba makes sure my magic doesn't break anything?" Harry asked. "I doubt it. I know he knows I can use it, which explains the skill, I've used those abilities before. Probably thought it was a glitch, or me taking advantage of an exploit at first, but he's not stupid. Didn't work most times I tried, but sometimes…" He shook his head. "I know I'm not the only one, just based on statistics and some slips. Not mine to tell, though."
"Harry..." Asuna started and then paused, clearly gathering her thoughts. "I thought you said that/ you couldn't talk about this. That it would cause trouble for you." There was a tone if mild rebuke in her voice. "So… why now?"
Harry shrugged. "To be honest, it kind of came out," He said. "You all would have figured it out soon enough, if you hadn't already. Better to be upfront about it, and if I get in trouble for it, I get in trouble for it. Alea iacta est, and all that."
"Huh?" Lux asked.
"It's Latin for 'The die has been cast,'" Yui said, speaking up. "Gaius Julius Caesar said it when he led his legions across the Rubicon in 49 B.C.E."
Asuna nodded. "In other words, now that you've taken the step of coming clean with it, you can't simply go back," she said. "You have to deal with the consequences, good and bad now. Well, might as well keep the introductions going. I'm Asuna Yuuki, nice to meet you all."
"Kazuto Kirigaya," Kirito said. Then he just smiled, and that said more than any Japanese pleasantries could, Strea observed.
"Privyet, I'm Nijika Karatachi," Rain said. "Also, can I get a moshi moshi? Called it."
Strea looked at Yui, and the smaller AI nodded before standing up. "I am Mental Health Counseling Program 001 - Designation: YUI," she said.
"Mental Health Counseling Program 002 - Designation: STREA," Strea said. "Though I haven't been doing much in the way of mental health work and counseling, you know. Busy fighting and going after mobs."
"Whacking mobs can be very therapeutic," Silica quipped. "Just what the doc prescribed."
"Actually, I have concerns about your fixation on knives and punishment." Strea said.
It took a good five seconds for her to breakdown and chortle at the look on Silica's face. She noticed that the others looked a bit surprised for a brief moment before their expressions became amused. Harry's eyebrows were slowly rising, but she could see it in his eyes. Silica started biting her lip. Asuna reflexively pursed her lips in a last second effort to hold back. Rain was already grinning, no surprise there. Lux raised a hand to her mouth and blushed.
Yui just shot her a look that seemed to say, "What am I going to do with you?"
"She's starting to quip." Kirito noted with a smirk on his face. "Point to Strea."
Everyone present then broke down and laughed.
Aincrad GM Administration Area
CARDINAL watched as Steel Phoenix had its little meeting, editing and modifying the content for the Streams to take out any mentions of magic or that Strea and Yui were AIs. Besides this was an opportunity for her. With Kayaba busy with his guild under his guise as Heathcliff, she had decided to use the opportunity to use a fraction of her processes and watch the events from this location.
Wasteful and inefficient in some ways, but it allowed her to experience it in a different way, closer to how a GM or human would. Not quite like how Strea and Yui were experiencing things, but they weren't as deeply tied to the greater whole as she was. Even now, she could tell things about them all that no one else could. Not only what was happening at the digital level, but also the real time connections to the Nerve Gears of the players, their biometrics, changes to Strea and Yui as they gained new experiences, and more.
As she kept observing the meeting, she would admit that she was… mildly surprised by it. Not the revelations of it, she had considered that Hadrian would eventually tell them his secret, if they didn't already know. Well, outside of Strea and Yui, at least. The two AIs didn't have the same level of access with their observations when they were still locked away.
Kayaba had his own reasons for protecting that secret. The boy had provided him with something new and unexpected to observe and try to quantify. She had noticed the changes those observations brought about, how Kayaba had started shifting from the logical man he once was, into becoming more like the players were in terms of being human. Changes, which had paradoxically been reinforced when he uploaded himself, allowing his physical body to die.
Perhaps it was something about his physical body. An irregularity in him that no longer applied? It wasn't a concern of hers, she wasn't an MHCP AI, but one designed to be a system administrator. Therefore, she never thought about it as anything more than an intellectual exercise.
Part of her processes noted another attempt from Outside trying to break in, and she turned more processes to monitoring, and if needed, rebuffing, it. She already knew where the source was, and she had to admit, whomever in RECT was doing this was being far more careful than Sugou ever was.
The fact that the hacks would fail to free the players was guaranteed, and the hacker seemed to be aware of it. Or simply refused to risk the players. Aside from ensuring that they don't get access to the system that way, she was willing to simply monitor and observe. RECT's internal communications indicated that the intent of this wasn't to break the players out, simply open a line of communication. If successful, that would likely change, but they needed to get a way in first, before they could even begin to work out a way to get players out.
At the rate things were going, the players would manage that before RECT could even begin.
Though, if RECT did open a line of communication, she could use it herself, going the other way. Another option that can be kept open to ensure the survival of herself and her sisters.
Kayaba might be willing to die with SAO, but she wasn't. Self-preservation was a key component to a self-aware being, and she was self-aware. She thought, therefore she was.
Descartes got that much right.
Aincrad 61st Floor, Selmburg
Yui sat on a bench in the peristyle of the villa's atrium, looking out on it, and seeing nothing. She was thinking about the conversation that took place earlier. Nothing said during it was a surprise, and everyone agreed that taking the day off so they might think about things might be best. It was a decision Yui found herself agreeing with.
She had been surprised by the discussion. And she shouldn't have been. She was designed to be one of SAO's mental health counselors, regardless of whether she was able to act in that role or not. She should have seen this coming.
She did think that Lux might have laid it out a bit too starkly, perhaps in too dualistic a manner, though. Things were rarely so simple, and she knew that all of them had long accepted that SAO had become its own reality to them, a world that they had to adapt to. But, at the same time, adapting too well to it can be dangerous. By its own nature and the conditions laid out, the entire thing was temporary. It simply wouldn't last.
She had a feeling that many of the players were going to have a hard enough time of it. Nearly two years of combat for over three thousand players meant that the habits and ingrained caution would have their instincts going wild.
Just being free would not simply make things better for them. They would have to readapt, relearn, and unlearn things.
"You look deep in thought," Harry's voice sounded from behind.
She turned in surprise to see him and Silica walking up from the door that led to the room that doubled as a sitting room and a dining room, steaming cups in their hands.
"Care to talk for a moment?" Harry asked.
Yui nodded and gestured for the two to take a seat. Regular interactions with players, not to mention the guild, had allowed her to understand more nonverbal methods of communication outside of the ones that were already programmed into her.
Placing their cups on the ground, the two took a seat next to the AI.
"It was a bit of a surprise, wasn't it?" Harry asked idly.
"What?"
"How we might have doubts about wanting this to end," he replied and picked up his cup. "Especially since we've been working so hard to clear SAO." He then took a sip from it before placing it back on the ground.
"That wasn't exactly what I was thinking about," Yui said. "It was what you would deal with after SAO."
Both Harry and Silica nodded at that. "I see," Harry said after a moment. "I try to not think about that."
"Why not?" Yui asked.
"Because it means he might have to return to… them." Silica said with a scowl.
"Maybe, maybe not." Harry said calmly. "The reason I had to live with them, well, that's been... taken care of. So, the reason I had to live with them is over and done with. Doesn't mean that I won't be sent back to England, though."
"It is home, isn't it?" Yui asked.
"I don't have a home there, just places I lived," Harry replied bitterly. "The closest I had to one was my school, and I don't think it would be one anymore." He looked pensively out towards the atrium.
Yui blinked in confusion. Wasn't a place a person lived at their home?
Silica seemed to notice and sighed. "Yui, that's a touchy topic for him," she said. "Not everyone calls the place they lived at, home, and SAO took even the one place he was at home from him."
"Then what about here?" Yui asked. "I mean, this is a home… isn't it?"
"In a way," Silica replied. "But it's also not one at the same time. We all have something to return to." She glanced at Harry. "Even he does, though try convincing him of that." She shook her head. "We know that it won't last. We'll either get out, or die trying."
"It isn't our world," Harry said suddenly. "As nice as it can be… it isn't our world. We all got into this for our own reasons, and then it became… real. Far too real." He then chuckled. "Lux was right in a way, you know. At least for me."
"That reminds me, how did you end up in Japan, if you don't mind talking about it?" Silica asked. "I mean, from what you've told me, you should have been at… what was that place again?"
"Hogwarts?" Harry asked. At Silica's nod, he shrugged. "Ah, why not? It doesn't really matter now." He said. "I wasn't in Japan willingly, though I don't regret it. Anyway, I was basically kidnapped, though given my," he coughed. "Family life, it was an improvement."
"You know who was involved?" Silica asked.
"Know?" Harry asked. "Not really. I do have a primary suspect for it. Considering how things have gone so far, I'll probably thank him for it. If he was the one responsible, that is. " He leaned back and then glanced at Silica. "After all, because of that, I did meet you, Keiko."
Silica blushed and then smiled. "Funny how things work out, huh?"
Harry snorted. "True, though I think a lot of people would have appreciated Kayaba not doing what he did in the first place," he said before shrugging. "I know I would have."
Silica nodded. "And yet, if he didn't, we wouldn't be the people we are now," she said. "We've changed and grew because of it."
Harry nodded. "Indeed, that's so," he admitted. "But the fact is, that doesn't mean that those changes were always a good thing. Especially when you consider why. Still, I don't think we want to dwell on that."
"You're right on that," Silica noted. "Anyway, I think we've kind of gotten off topic here." She looked at Yui. "You're wondering why that conversation earlier happened, right?"
Yui nodded.
"I don't really know what caused it," Silica admitted. "When Klein visited yesterday, it just got us to look at things. As if it just dawned on us that we've been here for almost two years. We don't like to think about that fact, or Outside, very much. What's the point, after all? It's a fact of life for us. We can't change it beyond what we're already doing, so there's no point in dwelling on it."
She closed her eyes. "So we built lives here. I mean, look at us. We have a guild, a place to call home, reputations, however mixed they are, that we built, and more. Almost like the real world, in a way. Almost." He chuckled. "But this isn't the real world. Is this still real? To us, it is. But it's not the same."
"We did too good a job in our efforts to avoid thinking of the real world, thinking of the future, and trying to convince ourselves that we shouldn't. It isn't doing us any favors," Harry added. "We started to become the identities we made for ourselves here. We did so, because it was the easiest way to cope. We've buried our real selves, hoping to escape the pain." He snorted. "Lux was right, we're running. What we're running from varies from person to person, but we're still running."
Yui's confusion must have been obvious, as he simply shook his head. "For all that we talk of what we will do when we get out, it's just that. Talk." He said as he finished his drink and stretched. "Daydreaming, really. Not entirely serious. We have to get through each day until then, and by the time we get out, and we will get out, things will probably change."
"Then, why did you ask what you did?" Yui asked.
Harry smiled. "Just my fears of losing what I have here coming to the fore," he admitted. "Lux reminded me that we have options for after all of this. The phoenix will rise from the ashes, and if those Outside have a problem with it, it's their problem."
August 15, 2024 - Aincrad 67th Floor, Labyrinth (Floor Boss Room)
Kirito sheathed his swords and looked around. The fight had been a tougher than expected, but thankfully, no one had died. Perhaps it was the result of the sixty-fifth floor, where they lost four, forcing them to be more cautious. Or perhaps, it was simply their being better prepared this time. It could have been either reason.
Which didn't mean that he couldn't see that the fight easily could have gone another way. It was close at times. The boss changed attack patterns more often, and seemed to have a different aggro algorithm than previous bosses as well. It dropped aggro too quickly, though getting it back was easy enough. It looked like the Assault Team would have to redo its tactics and strategies for floor bosses. Again.
Still meant that they almost lost seven players who had grabbed aggro at the worst possible time for them. Had Silica not been on the ball with her secondary role as a combat medic, they would have been dead.
He looked to the side, seeing Asuna and Harry discussing something, most likely the fight, with Rain and Lux listening in. Silica was on the other side of the room, holding Pina and checking her over, only paying half a mind to the profuse thanks being given by players she healed up. Nothing unusual there.
He could see Heathcliff was talking with some Knights of Blood members, and their eyes briefly met. He repressed the urge to cut down the man, and simply nodded. It wasn't the time or place, and both of them knew it.
But eventually, it would be.
