Total Drama Chris
Chapter 54: Day 25: Part 2: Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
"Why are you clothes wet?" Courtney asked, contorting her face as Katie and Sadie made their way to the '2' sign, with Lindsay and Emily waiting as well.
"I had to jump off the thousand-foot cliff," Katie stated flatly.
"And you jumped in your clothes?" Courtney asked, confused. "You're dripping-"
"Look, Chef didn't give me a choice, OK?" Katie said, irritated.
"Well, why is she wet?" Courtney asked, pointing to Sadie.
"That I don't know," Katie said, confused. "But we're ready for our next challenge, Emily!" Katie looks over and sees the hot box nearby, and looks a bit nervous.
"Goody!" Emily exclaimed, clapping her hands together, as she took two envelopes from behind her back. "Lord Chris will be so pleased! You get to choose challenge A or challenge B!"
"You're kind of scaring me, but let's go with A," Katie said, shrugging.
"Ooh," Emily said, looking impressed as she read the envelope's contents. "You get to hunt down yellow balls!"
"I don't remember a challenge like that," Katie said, scratching her head. "But if it doesn't involve that hot box, I can't complain."
"And we'll let Geoff sweat inside the hot box," Courtney said nervously, as she ran off, dragging Lindsay behind.
"I think I could do really good at staying-" Lindsay started, running behind Courtney.
"Our services will be of better use elsewhere," Courtney said, with a confident smile as she headed toward the third checkpoint.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: I know it's really hot, but just sitting there doing nothing… I really think I could've done that.
Courtney: Our services could be put to better use elsewhere, Lindsay. You're of more use than to just have sit there doing nothing.
Lindsay: I know, but it doesn't mean any of the other challenges are going to be able to be useful-ish for me.
"Please, no," Bridgette said, looking over at the hot box. "Please don't make me get in there again!"
"Don't worry, Bridgette," Emily said assuringly. "Only one of the two challenges will put you in there. The other one will have you hunting down yellow balls, like Katie's doing right now."
"Like-" Bridgette started, then stopped herself, and looked to Emily in fear. "Oh no."
"What?" Emily asked, confused. "Maybe envelope B has the yellow ball challenge, too?" Emily opened the envelope, then sighed. "No, I'm sorry, Bridgette. Three minutes in the souped-up hot box."
"I can do this, Bridge," Geoff said, looking sincerely to Bridgette, who smiled a bit. "You run on and get to your next challenge. I'll meet you at the fourth one." Geoff scratched his head. "At least I think the fourth… this is two, right?"
"Yes," Bridgette said, nervously rubbing her sandal against the ground. "Are you sure, Geoff? I mean, it's going to get pretty hot in there."
"No problemo, babe!" Geoff exclaimed. "I've been baked before. Nothin' I can't handle!"
"Oh, you're so sweet!" Bridgette exclaimed, glomping Geoff and kissing him for a while. Meanwhile, Heather, Gwen, and Leshawna were watching from not very far away.
"It looks like he's gonna' go in the hot box for her," Leshawna said. "Maybe we should leave them alone?"
"And they were making out again," Heather stated. "They're losing precious time, and he's going to slow her down with that."
"When Bridgette has her million, she'll thank us," Gwen said. "I mean, not that I want her to give me her money, but-"
"We know what you meant, girl," Leshawna said. "I'm just a little worried about this. I've already done the whole 'wrong thing, right reasons' thing this season, and it ain't a fun road to go down. I'm just worried this is gonna' be one of those things."
"This is different," Gwen said, looking serious. "We know Geoff can't help himself from making out with Bridgette. And we know that Bridgette gets seriously distracted when Geoff's around to make out with."
"Or we could always just sabotage-"
"No sabotage!" Gwen and Leshawna shouted simultaneously.
Heather smiled nervously. "OK, just wanted to make sure, 'cause I still don't really get why it's considered mean in this situation."
"It just is," Gwen said, shaking her head. "I know the whole nice thing doesn't come entirely naturally to you, so just trust us, please." Leshawna nodded in agreement.
"OK," Heather said, looking guilty.
Confession Outhouse
Tyler: (with his arms crossed over his chest) "He won't be flying high tonight"? Seriously? Bridgette can be just as much of a jerk as Duncan, but at least everyone knows he can be a jerk! (Tyler chuckles to himself.) I mean, except for some of his fan girls, at least.
"What was a light fixture doing in the forest, anyway?" Katie asked, as she carried forth a broken light fixture with a couple of yellow balls in it, then raised an eyebrow, looking to Heather, Gwen, and Leshawna, standing near the hot box. "And what are you three doing, anyway?"
"If you three are trying to sabotage my BFFFL-" Sadie started, clenching a fist.
"I wanted to, but I was vetoed," Heather said, smiling innocently.
"I thought you were, like, not evil now," Katie said, raising an eyebrow again.
"I didn't think that supporting Bridgette was wrong," Heather said, waving a hand dismissively to Katie. "But we thought a better way would… actually, is this thing soundproof?"
"Why don't you want Bridgette to know of your plan?" Katie asked suspiciously.
"Oh, Bridgette's not in there," Gwen said. "Geoff's doing it for her."
"Oh… oh!" Katie exclaimed nervously, as she took Sadie's hand and started running off. "She's getting a head start on the third challenge, Sadie! We need to keep up pace here!"
"I didn't actually-" Emily started, then backed down. "Well, I saw the yellow balls. Good job I guess, Katie?"
Gwen scratched her head, then turned back to the other two girls. "Geoff isn't exactly weak, you know. He can probably overpower us."
"You two skinny girls, maybe," Leshawna said, smirking. "I think I can handle him!"
"This isn't soundproof, you guys know," Geoff said from inside the box.
Heather rolled her eyes. "I told you two!"
Confession Outhouse
Gwen: Really, you'd think a big, metal box would've been soundproof. Who exactly designs these things so weirdly, anyway?
"Time's up!" Emily cheered, as she opened the hot box.
"I'm ready for you guys!" Geoff weakly exclaimed, and then collapsed to the ground.
Heather smirked. "Geoff, that was really good of you, to take one in the arm for Bridgette like that."
"No one's giving the Geoffster any shots!" Geoff complained, still lying on the ground. "Unless it's for Bridgette."
"It's not," Heather stated, rolling her eyes. "But what I meant was that it was quite noble of you to put yourself in the hotbox in Bridgette's place."
"Ch'yeah," Geoff said. "She's, like, been tortured enough in that thing, and… I didn't realize they got so hot so fast."
"It's specially designed," Emily said, raising a finger.
"But look at you, you poor thing," Heather said, kneeling down, rubbing Geoff.
"Now, I know you're super hot, but I'm not going to let you seduce me," Geoff said defiantly.
"Oh," Heather said, looking guilty. "I wasn't trying-never mind." Heather shook her head. "I just, well, you're really hot and-"
"I know I'm hot, but I already have a babe," Geoff said, suspicious.
"I didn't mean that kind of hot," Heather said, rubbing her forehead in frustration.
"She means you need to rest," Gwen said. "You'll slow Bridgette down if you don't rest."
"Oh," Geoff said, looking like a sad little puppy. "I wouldn't want to make Bridge lose."
"Then let her go on her own," Gwen said. "Let her fly free."
"I guess," Geoff said, looking disappointed. "For Bridgette."
"It'll all work out, trust us," Leshawna said, smiling.
Confession Outhouse
Leshawna: (worried) I hope.
"Yeah, we're kind of hoping for Bridgette to get that challenge," Courtney said, motioning over to a nearby Ms. Pac-Man machine. Lindsay and Billy were nearby, as well as a sign marked with a large '3.'
"I do really good at it," Lindsay said, smiling bright.
"Didn't the actual challenge involve a real-life version of that, though?" Billy asked, confused.
Courtney shrugged. "Chris was probably just lazy."
"All right!" Bridgette exclaimed, rushing up. "I'm ready for my task! I'll take envelope B!"
"Envelope B?" Billy asked, blinking. "But how did you know that… never mind." Billy opened the envelope marked with the B, and read the contents. "You must get past the first five levels in Ms. Pac-Man."
"What?" Bridgette exclaimed, looking around nervously. "I can't do that!"
"But I can!" Lindsay exclaimed, pounding her chest proudly. "I can do it!"
"I'm sure she can," Courtney stated. "It's just a matter of learning the AI for each of the colored monsters, then solving how to manipulate that AI to get the Pac-Person to safely consume all of the white pixels scattered throughout the maze."
"Um… yeah," Lindsay said, confused. "That's probably what I do."
Lindsay started up the machine, and had the Ms. Pac-Man start to eat the dots, as Bridgette turned to Courtney. "I guess I should head for the next checkpoint? Or should I wait for Geoff?"
"It would be beneficial for you not to waste time," Courtney said, smiling back at her friend. "Geoff can meet up at the fourth checkpoint. Lindsay, you meet us at the fifth one after you beat the-wait, did your Pac-Person just consume that blue monster? I thought those things killed your character."
"I can eat the dark blue ones," Lindsay said, mostly focused entirely on the game. "I'll be fine. Meet you at the fourth checkpoint."
"Fifth one," Courtney said, worried.
"Right," Lindsay said, a bit confused. "What did I say?"
"Fourth."
"Right," Lindsay said, giving a quick nod, then returning her intense focus to the game.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: (reading her map upside-down) Which one is fourth, again?
"We made it, Sadie!" Katie exclaimed, as she and Sadie reached Billy at the third checkpoint.
"You're doing great!" Sadie exclaimed.
"I know!" Katie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed and glomped each other.
"Are you two interested in your challenge?" Billy asked, covering his ears as he was holding the A envelope.
"Oh, sorry," Katie said, smiling innocently, then looked over to Lindsay playing the Ms. Pac-Man machine. "Does this have anything to do with Lindsay?"
"No," Billy said. "It has to do with the impersonate another contestant challenge, except this time, you have to impersonate Chris." Billy pulled Chris' outfit from behind his back. "Change into this, then act like Chris."
"Change where?" Katie asked, contorting her face.
"Change here, I don't care, really," Billy said, shrugging.
"Turn around," Katie said nervously. "I really don't want you to watch."
"I'm pretty sure it'll fit over what you're wearing now."
"The shoes won't fit over mine," Katie said, in all seriousness.
"Does it really matter if I see your feet?" Billy asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I can see most of your feet with the shoes you're already wearing."
"Just humor me," Katie said, a bit irritated. Billy shrugged, then turned around.
Confession Outhouse
Katie: Why did Billy have to make things so difficult? Seriously, was it that big a deal? Just turn around! Sheesh!
Sadie: I know! It's like he wanted to see a teenage girl undressing, or something.
Katie: I wasn't exactly undressing.
Sadie: Yeah, but… still, it's the same concept.
Katie: Not really. It was just making me uncomfortable, anyway.
Sadie: Oh. Well, he still should've just turned around.
Katie: (sighing) Boys.
"Welcome to Total Drama Me!" Katie exclaimed in an artificially deep voice, wearing Chris' shirt, pants, and shoes. "Today, watch me and some other people, but who cares about them? All you care about is watching me! Chris Maclaine! Because I'm the only interesting person on this show! And I'm way better than that loser Katie! Growl! I hate Katie for absolutely no reason!"
"Stop being so mean," Sadie said, crying a little.
"This isn't real-" Katie started, but stopped herself short, and deepened her voice once more. "I mean, Katie sucks, because… well, I don't know. She just does, and I'm the host, so what I say counts! So watch me, and watch me do boring things, and watch me be really mean to Katie, coming up on Total Drama… Chris." Katie cringed uttering the name of the show.
"You did well," Billy said, clapping. "That was pretty funny. I like your sense of humor. And I don't really get why Chris doesn't like you."
"Thank you!" Katie exclaimed, beaming.
Sadie sniffled. "Did you have to be so mean?"
"I was only pretending, you know," Katie said, nervous. "And I was really only mean to myself." Katie tapped her chin. "Well, me and Chris. I made sure not to say anything mean about you though, Sadie!"
Sadie wiped a tear from her eye, then glomped Katie. "Aww, you're like the sweetest BFFFL ever!"
"We're both the sweetest BFFFLs ever!" Katie exclaimed, making a fist. "Come on, Sadie, we've got five more challenges to go!" Billy watched as Katie and Sadie ran off.
Confession Outhouse
Billy: They're kind of weird. Nice enough girls, and I don't really get why Chris hates them, myself, but yeah. Still a little weird.
"Come on, Noah," Cody said, trying to pull Noah away from the pink seat he was sitting on, as Noah was just casually reading a book.
"Not moving," Noah stated flatly, as he turned a page in his book.
"Katie is going to be disappointed in you not helping her," Cody said.
"She has Sadie with her. She has help."
"She doesn't have you there by her side, though," Cody said. "Seriously, she'd like her boyfriend there with her."
"I value my ability to hear."
"Even Tyler's gone off to help," Cody said, pointing toward where Tyler was sitting earlier. "Besides, what if she needs someone really smart to-"
"I'm not moving," Noah said, defiantly crossing his arms over his chest.
Duncan rolled his eyes, then grabbed Noah by the shirt collar. "Look, your girlfriend needs you or wants you or blah blah right now, and you need to step up to the plate and go and help her out!"
"Like the way you're helping your girlfriend out, I suppose," Noah stated flatly.
Duncan rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "Look, my girl isn't exactly competing, and I don't agree with who she wants to win this thing, anyway, but if you know what's good for you, you'll go find her, or else I'm going to make you regret it." Duncan started tapping his chin, then grinned at Noah. "And I'm sure she's going to make you regret it worse." Duncan threw Noah down.
Noah sighed. "I suppose I have little choice. Come, my protégé."
"Protégé?" Cody asked, shrugging.
Confession Outhouse
Duncan: It's not that I really care that much that Katie wins. I mean, between her and Bridgette, sure, go Katie, but it was more that those two were just annoying me, and I wanted Noah to go away.
"Welcome to checkpoint number four," Zoe said blandly as Bridgette and Courtney both arrived at the signpost with the '4' marked on it, where Zoe was waiting.
"Envelope B," Bridgette said.
Zoe blinked. "How did you-never mind." Zoe opened the B envelope and read the contents. "You must recreate a scene from Total Drama You-Know-Who. And I have to be impressed enough by it, but don't worry about that, I'm not going to be a harsh judge."
"A scene from this show?" Bridgette asked, blinking, then turned to Courtney. "Do you have any ideas?"
Courtney sighed. "It's hard to think of much that's happened that would be too interesting. Almost every scene coming to mind involved Leshawna being evil, and I would rather not go there, personally." Courtney was tapping her fingers on her arm, then had a huge smile come across her face. "Bridgette, I know what we're going to do today!"
"Do tell, Phineas," Bridgette said, then giggled a bit.
Courtney's face contorted in confusion. "Who?"
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: (shaking her head in the palm of her hand) Bridgette, you're a teenager for heaven's sake.
"One of you voted me off, one of you lousy scumbags, and I will make sure you pay!" Courtney screamed in Bridgette's face, who was nervously backing away on the ground. "You will PAY!"
"Um, what's… do I want to know?" Katie asked to Zoe, as she and Sadie arrived at the fourth checkpoint.
"It's for Bridgette's challenge, so don't worry," Zoe said as she opened the A envelope.
"You're sure Courtney's all right?" Sadie asked, blinking.
"How dare you incur the wrath of-oh, I'm OK, Sadie-Courtney by voting her off wrongly in such a despicable manner!"
"O… K…" Katie said, trailing off.
"Katie, you have to do a little skit involving Sesame Street, apparently," Zoe said, showing her the contents of envelope A.
"Hey, Katie, do you remember that thing we used to do?" Sadie asked, grinning.
"You know it, but that used to annoy everyone at school," Katie said.
"It's for like a million dollars though," Sadie said, waving her hand dismissively. "Who cares if anyone gets annoyed."
Katie narrowed her eyes. "Let's do it!"
Katie and Sadie glomped each other and started singing to the tune of 'Jingle Bells.' "Hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug hug-hug. Hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug, hug-hug-hug hug hug hug hug, hug! Hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug hug-hug. Hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug hug hug hug! Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed, jumping up and down after they finished their song.
Zoe looked in astonishment. "OK, what the hell did that have to do with Sesame Street?"
"Um, 'Elmo's World,' hello?" Katie asked, in disbelief that Zoe would ask.
"Yeah, like, duh," Sadie said, irritated.
"OK, OK, fine" Zoe said, slapping her own face. "That's after my time, and frankly, I rather enjoy that I didn't have to put up with such nonsense when I was a kid. You pass, you pass, though frankly, I'd have preferred something non-Elmo."
"What's wrong with Elmo?" Katie asked, confused.
"We loved Elmo!" Sadie exclaimed.
"He ruined the show, but now's not really the time to worry about that, just hurry up and go, go!" Zoe said, shooing the twins off. Zoe then turned to Courtney and Bridgette, where Bridgette was cowering under Courtney.
"How could you vote ME, off, you worthless little piece of-"
"I think that's enough," Zoe interrupted, looking a bit frightened.
"Thank you," Bridgette said, immediately getting up and glomping Zoe. Bridgette then turned to Courtney. "That was pretty intense."
"Just being of service, Bridgette," Courtney said, smiling bright.
"A little too much," Bridgette said. "You could've toned it down a little bit."
"Oh," Courtney said, flustered a bit. "I just wanted you to win, and figured-"
"It's OK, really," Bridgette said. "I know you want me to win and all, so how about we head on to the next checkpoint?"
Confession Outhouse
Chris: The biggest difference between Courtney and Katie is that most of you viewers love Courtney. Though why anyone would actually be friends with her, I have no idea.
"Gotcha'!" Tyler shouted, as he pounced on Lindsay, who was merrily skipping by. "Try to win now!"
"Tyler, get off of me!" Lindsay yelled, angry.
"Lindsay?" Tyler asked, blinking, then innocently picked himself off the ground, then helped Lindsay up. "I… OK, it's going to sound bad, but I thought you were Bridgette."
"OK," Lindsay said, rubbing her forehead. "Why did you want to attack Bridgette?":
"To stop her from winning!" Tyler said, crossing his arms over his chest. "She doesn't-"
Lindsay grabbed Tyler by his shirt and pulled his face to hers. "Stop it!" she yelled. "If I'm not going to let Courtney try to sabbatical Katie, then I'm also not-"
"Courtney was trying to sabotage Katie?" Tyler asked, worried. "How could she cheat like that? I thought she was all about fair-"
"You were trying to do it too!" Lindsay yelled, throwing her arms into the air.
"I wasn't trying to sabotage Katie," Tyler said, irritated.
"No one's going to sabotage anyone!" Lindsay yelled. "Seriously, quit forcing me to be the smart one here! I'm not good at it! Get over your stupid thing with Bridgette already!"
"Not like she ever apologized," Tyler said, irritated.
"Tell her why you're upset and she will, now get over it!" Lindsay yelled, stomping her foot.
Tyler sat down on the ground and sniffled. "It hurt, you know."
"I believe you," Lindsay said, kneeling down to Tyler, rubbing her hand through his hair. "Bridgette's really nice, though. Just tell her what's bugging you, OK? That'll make it better! Promisies!" Lindsay beamed at Tyler.
Tyler sighed. "OK. But that still doesn't mean I'm not rooting for Katie to win."
"That's fine," Lindsay said, then leaned in to kiss Tyler, who started kissing back. After several seconds, Lindsay pulled away. "Right now, though, I need to go and help Bridgette. See you after Bridgette wins!"
"After Katie wins," Tyler said, smirking as he ran off, while Lindsay headed in the opposite direction.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: (looking confused, holding her map upside-down) Which one is four, again?
"Welcome to challenge number five," Chef said stiltedly, reading off a card he was holding, standing next to a sign with a large '5' painted on it, as well as a nearby desk, chair, and computer. "Please choose envelope A or envelope B for your next challenge."
Katie shrugged. "Let's try B this time. I haven't done B yet."
Chef shrugged as he opened envelope B, and read its contents. "You must write a Total Drama Chris-related fan… function?" Chef read, squinting his eyes. "I don't know what the hell that is."
"Fan fiction?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, and Chris said it had to be about me!" Chef barked. "A nice story about me."
Katie smirked. "I'll see what I can do."
"How can you write a story about Chef, though?" Sadie asked, worried. "I mean, he's all mean and gross and stuff." Sadie gasped, then narrowed her eyes to her friend. "This isn't going to be another dirty story, is it?"
"Tempting as a romance between Chef and Chris would be, no. Not that one," Katie said, smirking. "But mostly because I need to write this one quickly enough to race to the sixth checkpoint."
"Oh," Sadie said, putting her finger to her mouth. "Thank goodness for that, really."
Confession Outhouse
Katie: Oh, come on! It would've been so totally epic!
Sadie: Or disturbing. Really, no one wants to read about Chef and Chris getting it on.
Katie: You'd be surprised. I'd bet there's tons of ho yay on the two out there. Though I do find real person fiction a little squicky, myself. (Katie shrugs.) Maybe when I have more time.
Sadie: I still find the thought kinda' gross.
Chris: (shuddering)
"I wonder where Geoff is, anyway?" Bridgette asked to Courtney as they were running to the fifth checkpoint.
"Oh yeah, he'd gone with you, didn't he?" Courtney asked, confused. "I have no idea where he is, but it is probably for the best that he is not here."
"Why is that for the best, exactly?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you know, the kissy-kissy stuff, making out all the time, distracting you from challenges thing?" Courtney asked nervously. "It's for the best that you don't have him here as a distraction."
"He knows that," Bridgette said, irritated. "He was actually helping me a lot, then he went into the hot box for me, and I haven't seen him."
"Maybe he just hasn't caught up yet," Courtney said, as the two reached the fifth checkpoint.
"I'm guessing Katie got the fan fiction challenge," Bridgette said, pointing over to Katie, typing away fervently on a computer, with Sadie giggling behind her.
"That ain't your challenge though, fool!" Chef barked, as he pulled out envelope A, and read aloud its contents. "You must… flitter? No, flatter! You must flatter me!"
"That was seriously like the most idiotic challenge ever," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.
"Don't care, just flatter me!"
Bridgette sighed. "I'm sorry for this, Geoff." Bridgette walked over and started massaging Chef, who looked please. "What's a big, tough guy like you doing taking orders from a scrawny little nothing like Chris? You could host this show better than he can."
"Heh, you're right about that," Chef said, smiling slightly. Courtney's eyes went wide, and she slapped her own face.
"You deserve a nice break," Bridgette said, rubbing under Chef's chin. "All those meals you make for us, no appreciation… it's about time someone gave you a little-"
"You pass, you pass!" Chef exclaimed. "Just go! Startin' to get turned on by a teenager and it's scarin' me!" Bridgette smiled, then hurried off to the sixth checkpoint, with Courtney following behind.
"That was embarrassing," Courtney said.
"Hey, it worked," Bridgette said, winking to Courtney.
Confession Outhouse
Chris: (shaking his head) Why Chef would complain about getting turned on by a teenager, I have no idea. Then again, when it's an ugly girl like Bridgette, I guess I can understand being a little freaked out by it.
Chef Kills Chris! Yay!
One day, Chris and Chef were relaxing at Camp Wawanakwa. "Hey," Chris said, "how can we torture the campers today? Especially Katie!"
"I know!" Chef exclaimed, as a light bulb turned on over his head. "We can have a special challenge, where I host, and the person who kills you gets a million dollars!"
"That sounds awful," Chris whined. "I don't like that idea."
"I do!" Chef yelled, as he threw hunter's rifles to all of the contestants. "First one to kill Chris wins!"
"I'd better get out off here," Chris said, worried.
"Get out off here?" Chef yelled. "Don't you know proper grammar?"
"Well, I was rushed," Katie said, rolling her eyes.
"The story sucks!" Chef yelled. "I don't hate Chris! Not that much, anyway. Still, no one said the story had to be any good, so you pass! Now get outta' my sight!"
Confession Outhouse
Chris: In retrospect, I probably should've tossed out the fan fiction challenge when I realized Katie was in the final two, and there was a good chance she'd go harlequin on us again. Though I really detest the idea of being killed off. What'd I ever even do to Katie, anyway? (Chris grumpily crosses his arms over his chest.)
"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute," Emily had started singing, swaying back and forth at the top of the thousand-foot cliff, near a monster truck and a sign with a large '6' painted over a large '1,' as Bridgette and Courtney arrived.
"You have a nice voice," Courtney said, smiling. "I have no idea what those words meant, but it sounded pretty."
"Thanks," Emily said, beaming. "Oh yah, A or B."
Bridgette shrugged. "I'll go with B."
"B it is!" Emily exclaimed, then took the contents out from the B envelope. "You must dress as Sailor Moon, and shoot someone dressed as a monster."
"I don't like where this is going," Courtney said, looking disgusted.
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: (covered in vomit) The things I do to help a close friend win a million dollars. I really hope Bridgette appreciates what I do for her. And I'm starting to wish that Geoff were with her after all.
Katie and Sadie were rushing up to Emily, as they noticed Courtney wearing a potato sack, looking disgusted. "Sailor Moon challenge?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yep," Emily said while removing the contents from envelope A. "Your challenge is to drive the monster truck off the thousand-foot cliff."
Katie's eyes grew wide. Isn't that kinda', I dunno', suicidal?"
"I didn't come up with the challenge," Emily said, nervous.
"Well, you could always-" Courtney started, then covered her mouth.
"I could what, I could what?" Katie cried out, desperate.
"I don't know about you, but apparently I can forget who I want to win this stupid show," Courtney said, irritated.
"Come on, please, Courtney?" Katie asked, looking pleadingly into Courtney's eyes.
"Please?" Sadie asked, also looking pleadingly at Courtney.
"Please, please, please, please?" they asked simultaneously.
"No!" Courtney shouted. "I want Bridgette to win!"
"Please what?" Bridgette asked, walking back, dressed as Sailor Moon, though her hair was the same.
"Courtney had an idea for how I could drive off the thousand-foot cliff and live, but she won't tell me," Katie said, looking down.
"Because I want you to win, Bridgette," Courtney said, smiling at her friend.
"We could be fair, though," Bridgette said, smiling. "I don't want Katie to be stuck with an impossible task."
"Are you sure?" Courtney asked, putting her hands on Bridgette's shoulders. "You could lose the million dollars if they succeed in this task."
"It wouldn't be that bad if Katie won, you know," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow.
Courtney shook her head, then sighed. "Get a big rock to put on the accelerator, and get out of the truck really quick!"
"Oh, duh," Katie said, smacking the side of her own head. "So obvious. Why didn't I think of that?" Katie glomped Courtney, and Sadie followed suit. "Thank you, Courtney!"
"Yeah, thank you!" Sadie exclaimed.
"I'm uncomfortable enough with helping Bridgette lose here," Courtney said, disgusted. "Can you please not rub it in more?"
"Oh, sorry," Katie said, nervous as she backed up, along with Sadie. "We need to find a rock."
"Can we find a pretty rock?" Sadie asked, smiling bright.
"How about just the first big one we find?" Katie said as the two hurried off.
Bridgette was prepping her vomit gun while Courtney watched nervously. "You're OK with this, right?" Bridgette asked, nervous.
"No, I'm not," Courtney said, looking fearfully at Bridgette. "If you're going to win that million dollars, though, I'm ready." Courtney gulped.
"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, as she let out a large blast of vomit straight at Courtney. "Are you OK?"
"No," Courtney said, tearing up. "But hurry and go! Seventh checkpoint, and all… I'll clean myself off." Courtney shuddered. "I do so desperately need to wash myself."
Confession Outhouse
(Courtney is still covered in vomit, and stares blankly into the camera, then shudders.)
"I really ought to get back to Bridgette," Geoff said, as Heather and Gwen were leading him back to the blue bleachers, with Leshawna following behind. "She's counting on me."
"You aren't in any condition to be helping her, now," Heather said, smirking.
"I don't trust that look," Eva said, raising an eyebrow.
"We're all in agreement, though, that it's best for Geoff to keep away," Gwen said.
"Wait, keep away?" Geoff asked, confused.
"Why do you want to keep Geoff away from Bridgette?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
"Well, he's not in good shape," Heather said.
"I think I'm better now, though," Geoff said.
"No, no, you should rest. Trust us, it's for the best," Heather said.
"Hey, that rhymed," Geoff said, grinning. "Cool."
"That wasn't really intentional," Heather said. "Really, Bridgette's going to be back soon, and you can celebrate when she crosses the-" Heather looked up at Chris, at the top of a ladder, still securing the banner on the top of the poles. "You still haven't finished this yet?"
"Everyone else was busy," Chris whined. "I had to do this all by myself."
"It's been a good source of comedy," Eva said, smirking.
"We can make it funnier," Heather said, kicking the ladder down from underneath Chris.
"That was kind of mean," Beth said, nervously.
"He also lit me on fire," Eva said, with a mean smile on her face. "I'd say he's more than had this coming for some time."
"Geoff, you should probably go and help Bridgette," Ezekiel said.
"No, he really shouldn't," Gwen said, irritated.
"But what if Bridgette loses because Geoff wasn't there to help, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
"He's helping more by not making out with her perpetually," Heather said.
"Wait, that's why you want me here?" Geoff asked, irritated. "I'm not staying. I'm helping my girl!"
"No, you're staying," Eva said, forcibly holding Geoff in place.
"Let go of me!" Geoff yelled.
"If you really want Bridgette to win, you won't distract her by making out with her now!" Eva yelled.
"It's for the best," Leshawna said, nervous.
Confession Outhouse
Leshawna: Though I'm still not really comfortable with that whole déjà vu feeling of helping out in the worst possible way. This… isn't like that, is it?
Katie and Sadie were watching from the top of the thousand-foot cliff, watching as the monster truck sank below, and the sharks were all ravenously eating it. "I can't believe sharks eat metal like that," Sadie said, shaking her head.
"Is that actually edible?" Katie asked, bruised and confused, and was quickly glomped by Sadie.
"I was like so, so worried that you weren't going to jump out in time." Sadie started crying a little.
"I'm OK, though, see?" Katie said, beaming, showing herself off.
"That seemed kind of dangerous," Emily said, wide-eyed. "I'm sure Lord Chris would never-"
"Would you stop calling him that?" Katie said, irritated. "Seriously, why do you keep calling him Lord Chris, anyway?"
"Well, that's what he asked me to call him," Emily said, confused.
"He doesn't really deserve that title," Katie said. "Wanting to kill people for fun?"
"Lord Chris would never do that," Emily said, horrified by the thought. "I'm pretty sure no one would watch the show if you all died. Since that would kind of mean there were no more contestants to watch."
"He may not actively want us dead, but he certainly doesn't care that much if we live," Katie said, irritated. "Chris is, like, really, mean."
"Really, really mean," Sadie agreed.
"Are you sure?" Emily asked, worried. "He seems so nice and friendly and… famous." Emily looked dreamily toward the sky.
"Well, we really have to get going, million dollars on the line and all," Katie said. "See ya'!"
"I'll be waiting at the finish line," Emily said, waving bye.
Confession Outhouse
Zoe: Chris really is evil, you know.
Emily: I really don't get why everyone says that.
Zoe: You're too smitten to see, that's why.
Emily: I don't really see that, either.
Zoe: Which just proves my point.
"All right," Billy said, taking a bite out of a chicken drumstick.
"That's pretty gross, you know," Bridgette said, reeling back.
"No one's making you eat it," Billy said. "Not yet, anyway. I'd recommend you pick the right envelope."
Bridgette nervously tapped her chin. "Well, Chris knows I'd be more likely to pick B, and I have this feeling I really want to avoid the one Chris is hoping that I get, so I choose A."
"A it is," Billy said, as he opened the A envelope, and read aloud its contents. "You must advertise for our newest sponsor, Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Confession Outhouse
Chris: (holding a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken) Yeah, ever since the McDonald's deal fell through, I've been looking for someone new to give me a whole lot of money to advertise for them, and as luck would have it, KFC came knocking at my door. They do chicken right! They use eleven herbs and spices. Everybody needs a little KFC. It's finger-lickin' good. And all of that wonderful, delicious stuff they have! Kentucky Fried Chicken rocks! (Chris gives a thumbs up for the camera.)
"What do I have to do, exactly?" Bridgette asked, nervous.
"Say a few good things praising Kentucky Fried Chicken, and take a bite and look like it's the best food on earth, pretty much," Billy said.
"I can't do that!" Bridgette yelled, fretting. "I can't just bite into a piece of chicken! I mean, it was once a beautiful creature."
"Chickens are beautiful?" Billy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, the less pretty ones deserve life, too," Bridgette said, chuckling nervously. "Chickens aren't that ugly, are they?" Bridgette sighed.
Confession Outhouse
Bridgette: It really would've helped a lot of Geoff were with me for that challenge. He'd have probably been all too happy to dig into the chicken and talk about how great it was. And… that actually scares me slightly. He's a good guy, still.
"You have to put on an act for the talent show," Billy said to Katie
Katie looked at Billy like he had an alien growing from his forehead. "There is no talent show."
"Well, you need to put on an act, anyway," Billy said, shrugging.
"Oh, Katie, our dance!" Sadie exclaimed.
"But we don't have any music," Katie said, nervous.
"Well, we can always try, anyway!" Sadie said, bouncing up and down.
Katie put on her serious face. "Let's do this!"
Confession Outhouse
Billy: (with his eye twitching) That was unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.
Sadie: Did you ever notice Bridgette was a blonde?
Katie: (staring strangely at Sadie) Yeah… why are you telling me that?
Katie looked over to Bridgette, sitting on the ground with a bucket of chicken in front of her, looking worried. "You need help, Bridgette?"
"Well… yeah, kind of," Bridgette said, worried. "I can't advertise this junk."
"Well, you helped me out, so I'll help you, too!" Katie exclaimed, grabbing the bucket of chicken, then posing in front of a nearby camera. "Kentucky Fried Chicken is the shiznit!" Katie then took a big bite out of a drumstick, smiling for the camera, moaning in approval.
Confession Outhouse
Katie: I was a little gluttonous back there… heh.
Sadie: I wish I could eat that much.
Katie: You do.
Sadie: (pointing to her stomach) I mean without getting this.
Katie: Oh, yeah. (Katie glomps Sadie.) I'm so sorry, Sadie. I'd totally trade stomachs with you if we found a magic genie who wasn't one of those evil genies.
Sadie: Samantha was nice, wasn't she?
Katie: Samantha? You mean the witch Samantha?
Sadie: Oh yeah, I always get her and Samantha confused.
Katie: Samantha was the witch. Jeannie was the genie.
Sadie: I don't know how you can keep them straight.
Katie: (rolling her eyes) Because her name is Jeannie, that's how.
Sadie: One day, I'll learn that trick.
Chris: Great! Now the wonderful people of Yum! are upset because that was a line about Popeyes! Great way to piss off our sponsors, Katie! (Chris throws his arms into the air, exasperated.)
"OK," Zoe said, standing next to Noah, while Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie stood before her, and beside her, a sign with a large '8' painted on it. Nearby was a fenced-in field, as well as a tall diving board. "I didn't really catch which of you got here first, so I'm not really sure which of you get to choose the envelope."
"I pick A, she picks B," Katie said. "Last time Bridgette went against the grain, it wasn't pretty."
"I want nothing to do with A ever again," Bridgette said, nodding in approval.
"All right, then," Zoe said, opening the envelopes simultaneously. "Bridgette, you have to walk through a mine field in high heels."
"What?" Bridgette shrieked.
"And my sister thinks Chris is a nice guy," Zoe said, shaking her head. "Katie, oh no," Zoe said, shaking her head again. "You get to play the 'drop a heavy object on Katie's head' game, as Chris so eloquently put it.'"
"I don't think there really was a good option here," Katie said to Bridgette.
"If neither of you goes through with it, I don't think there's much Chris can do," Zoe said. "Though I can't promise what kind of sadistic replacement challenge he might come up with."
Bridgette sighed. "Well, if Lindsay and Leshawna could do it, so can I. Just… where are the high heels, anyway?"
"Bridgette!" Lindsay exclaimed, running up to her and glomping her. "I've been looking for you! I finally found the fourth checkpoint! And Ms. Pac-Man was pretty easy, and it was hard to quit playing after five levels, but I knew you needed me, so here I am!"
"This is the eighth checkpoint, actually," Bridgette pointed out. "And I thought you were going to meet up at the fifth one, anyway."
Lindsay looked at her map sideways. "I think this one might be the infinity checkpoint, actually."
Bridgette giggled, then turned Lindsay's map the right way. "It's an eight. You were looking at the map the wrong way."
"Oh," Lindsay said, embarrassed. "What do you have to do, or did you do it already?"
"Walk through a minefield in high heels," Bridgette said, then looked over to the fenced in area. "Is that it over there?"
"Probably, and I'm really going to kill Chris for this," Zoe said, then grumbled to herself.
"What needs to be dropped on my head, dare I ask?" Katie asked, looking none too pleased.
"I think Chris already has something at the top of the diving board," Zoe said, uneasy. "I'm guessing whatever's up there."
"Well, the obvious solution here to get that object down from up there," Noah said, looking up. "Unless Chris said it had to be dropped from that height, then we can bring it down and drop it onto your cute head from a much lower height."
"Excuse me," Zoe said, grinning, "but did you just call Katie's head cute?"
"No," Noah stated flatly. "Now I'd climb up the ladder myself, except I'm sure Sadie could do it much more easily, and I'm sure she has a lot more energy to actually do that."
"Aye-aye, Noah!" Sadie exclaimed, saluting, then climbing the ladder, ultimately getting to the top. "There's an anvil up here."
"Figures," Noah said. "Just drop it down here."
"OK!" Sadie called out, then dropped the anvil to the ground below.
Noah tried to lift the anvil, but to no avail. "Sadie, I may need your help again."
"OK!" Sadie exclaimed, climbing back down quickly.
"I need you to pick up the anvil, place it very slightly above Katie's head, then drop it," Noah said.
"Are you sure this won't hurt?" Katie asked, worried.
"I promise it will definitely hurt," Noah said. "It won't kill you from this height, though I'll get behind you to catch you, since you'll probably fall."
"That would be so totally romantic if I weren't scared out of my mind right now," Katie said, nervously looking above her head, where less than an inch away was a solid iron block, which Sadie was holding, looking away.
"Are you sure?" Sadie asked nervously.
"Yes," Katie said. "Now!" Sadie dropped the anvil, hitting Katie fairly hard, causing her to fall back. And Noah caught her.
"I think she's out," Noah said. "We should probably carry her to the medical tent."
"That's over the finish line, right?" Sadie asked, hopeful.
"Fortunately, yes, we will have to pass that finish line, but we need to hurry, anyway!" Noah and Sadie hurried off, carrying Katie, while Bridgette was walking along the edge of the minefield in Lindsay's shoes, while Lindsay was holding her hand on the other side of the fence, barefoot.
"These are pretty roomy," Bridgette said, looking at Lindsay's boots, now on her own feet.
"For you, maybe," Lindsay said, uncomfortable. "Can we please not talk about that, though?"
"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, guilty. "Thank you for helping me keep my balance, though, really!"
"You're welcome," Lindsay said, beaming, as Bridgette made it out of the minefield, and took off Lindsay's shoes, which Lindsay was all too eager to get back on.
"Where did I put my shoes, again?" Bridgette asked, scratching her head. "Oh yeah, back on the other side."
"I think it would be better not to walk back through the mine field just to get your shoes back," Lindsay said, downtrodden.
"I was going to go around, actually," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.
Lindsay hit the side of her head with her fist. "Yeah, stupid me, forgot about that way. That makes sense."
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: And more than anything else, thank you, Bridgette, for not making fun of my feet. (Lindsay shudders.) Oh, how I hate them.
"I'm all right, you guys," Katie said, still being carried by Sadie and Noah, running toward the finish line. "I can run by myself, really."
"Better safe than sorry," Sadie said, rushing along with Noah. "We're pretty far ahead, and we don't want you to get hurt on your way to the finish."
"I'm not sure… why you want… to run, anyway," Noah said, short of breath. "I'd kill to be carried around… like this."
Katie gave Noah a little kiss on his arm. "Aww, that's sweet of you guys, but really, I'm OK."
"I can see the finish line up ahead!" Bridgette exclaimed, as she and Lindsay were running forth.
"I guess we're not that far ahead?" Sadie asked, confused. "I thought we got a pretty good lead, really."
"Let me down already!" Katie shouted leaping to the ground herself, running forward. "I can't give up now! I'd really really like that million dollars!"
"Is Katie ahead?" Chris asked, from the finish line, biting his fingernails. "That can't happen!" Chris took out a detonator from behind his back, and pushed down on the plunger, causing an explosion right where Katie was standing. "That will put an end to… wait." Chris was blinking as he saw Sadie and Noah pick Katie back up, carrying her forward.
Courtney was smiling bright. "I don't really like the exact way it happened, but it does look as if Bridgette will surpass Katie and become the victor."
"That's a dude's name," Geoff said, looking disgusted.
"What are you talking about?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I've got to help my girl!" Geoff exclaimed, and got up from his seat, though Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva all forcefully pulled him back down.
"Wait here!" They shouted simultaneously.
"But what if she needs his help, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
"Geoff is just going to slow her down," Courtney said, still looking upon nervously. "It's for the best, I'm sure."
"No it isn't!" Geoff shouted. "Bridge needs me!"
"You can celebrate the victory later!" Heather shouted, irritated.. "Just wait here!"
"I'm coming, you guys!" Bridgette exclaimed, only about ten meters from the finish line.
"I think Bridgette's going to win," Katie said, feeling weak as she was charred, and being carried by Sadie and Noah. "It's too bad you guys needed to carry me."
"We still love you," Sadie said, smiling bright.
"And… well… I like you, OK, but please don't make me commit to that other L-word," Noah said, smiling.
"Other L-word?" Katie asked, then smirked at Noah. "Despite my friendship with Sadie, I can assure you that I'm straight."
"What, no, I meant 'love.'" Noah said. "I do really like you and appreciate you, though."
"Aww, thanks, Noah," Katie said, smiling bright. "I'd totally hug you if I could."
"You're gonna' win, Bridgette!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Just five… six… I don't know, but you're almost there!"
"And Bridgette's in the lead!" Chris exclaimed, excited. "And Bridgette is about to become the ultimate champion of Total Drama Chris!"
"Must you call it that?" Gwen asked, irritated.
"Yes," Chris said, grinning. "Yes I do."
"I'm gonna' do it!" Bridgette exclaimed. "I'm gonna' do-whoa!" Bridgette had tripped over… well, no one could really see what she'd tripped over.
"Oh no oh no oh no get up get up get up!" Lindsay cried out, trying to pick Bridgette back up, with her fans all worried, while Sadie had just passed Bridgette up.
"What Lindsay said, get up!" Chris shouted frantically. "Get up!"
"Get Katie across quick! Quick!" Noah shouted.
"That's what I'm doing!" Sadie shouted back.
"What do I do what do I do what-there!" Lindsay had pushed Bridgette very hard toward the finish line, landing Bridgette right up to the finish line… but a centimeter away, in more than a bit off a daze, as Sadie and Noah crossed completely over with Katie.
"No!" Chris screamed, looking to the sky and stomping his foot. "No, no, no, no!"
Lindsay looked distraught to see Bridgette having just missed the finish line, and looked down, crying. "I'm really sorry, Bridgette. I… I failed." Lindsay said down, burying her head in her knees. "I always fail."
Courtney walked up to Lindsay and sat down beside her, patting her on the back. "You did good. You almost brought Bridgette to victory."
"But I didn't," Lindsay said weakly. "I wasn't strong enough."
"Bridgette could've won if you guys would've just let me help her out," Geoff said, irritated. Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva were looking guilty. "I could've easily carried her the rest of the way when she tripped, and she would've won." Geoff walked over to pick Bridgette up from the ground and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Bridge."
"Aww, don't be," Bridgette said softly, hugging back. Bridgette then glared at Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva. "And I know you guys meant well, at least, so… come on, we can have a group hug!" Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva nervously approached Bridgette, hugging her.
"I'm sorry that we cost you a million dollars," Heather said, guilty. "I thought Geoff would've held you back, what with the constant making out."
"Understandable," Bridgette said. "He knew how serious he needed to be this time, though-Katie! Katie won! Where is she?"
"Being treated by Chef, I suppose," Chris said, filing his nails. "Got hit pretty hard by that explosion."
"That explosion that you caused?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, I tried to help you win too, Bridgette," Chris said, shrugging. "I mean, you really think I wanted Katie to win?"
"So you tried to kill her?" Bridgette yelled, glaring at Chris.
"It didn't really seem to work," Chris said, rubbing his chin. "Maybe I needed cut back on my massages to get some extra explosives."
"You're disgusting!" Bridgette yelled, rolling up her sleeves as she stormed up to Chris.
"You're just a sore loser," Chris said, grinning deviously.
"Yes, I'm sore, thank you, but that's mostly from that weird throw thing Lindsay did," Bridgette yelled, throwing her arms into the air, then uppercut Chris, throwing him into the air, flat on the ground. "You are a horrible, miserable person!"
"That was awesome, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, throwing his hat into the air. "Just… remind me not to make you mad."
"I don't usually get that mad, so you don't have to worry," Bridgette said, glomping Geoff, then grinned mischievously. "Not too much, at least."
Eva wiped a tear from her eye. "I've trained her well."
"We really ought to go see Katie, though, and congratulate her, and stuff," Bridgette said, smiling.
Confession Outhouse
Lindsay: Katie won!
Courtney: I was rather hoping to see Bridgette win.
Lindsay: Katie's really nice too, though, and if Bridgette had to lose, I'm glad it was to Katie. (Lindsay's eyes grow wide.) I-I mean, except for Tyler! Oh, and except for you!
Courtney: I understood the sentiment. You really needn't elaborate.
Lindsay: (wiping her forehead) That's a good thing, since I'm bad at elevatoring.
"Hey, you guys," Katie said, smiling as she was lying in the bed in the medical tent.
"You won!" Bridgette exclaimed, smiling. "You're a millionaire, now!"
"Before taxes, at least," Noah said, smirking.
"Oh, Noah," Katie said, punching Noah in the arm. "Really, though, I can't believe I won! I mean, considering you all just thought I was some useless annoying girl last year-"
"You still are annoying," Noah said, smirking. "Just not so useless."
"Must you tease a sick girl?" Katie asked, grinning.
"You'd be worried about me if I didn't," Noah replied.
"You make a good point," Katie answered.
"Katie, you make me sick," Chris said, contorting his face. "Still, whether I like it or not-and I don't like it, just to make it clear-legally, I am required to declare you the winner." Chris slammed a Gilded Chris chocolate on her bed. "Enjoy, I don't really care, screw you guys, I'm going home." Chris stormed out.
"All right, clear out, everyone!" Chef yelled, entering the tent. "That includes you, scrawny boyfriend!"
"Get better, Katie," Noah said, then leaned in to hug and kiss her passionately, which she eagerly returned.
"Now, not that I mean to cut this short, but I really should tend to the little lady," Chef said.
"Right," Noah said. "See you soon."
"You too," Katie said, smiling bright as she watched Noah leave.
"Word of warnin', though," Chef said, taking out a large needle, causing Katie's eyes to grow extremely wide in fear. "This is gonna' hurt you a lot more than it hurts me, heh heh."
"Uh… help!" Katie screamed.
Confession Outhouse
Emily: (in shock) Did... did Chris really just try to cheat and kill Katie there at the end? It kind of looked like that.
And there you have it! After fifty-four chapters and ten months, Katie is the winner! What she is going to do with the money no one knows. But with that, this story is to come to a close.
…almost. We've still got one more chapter to go to wrap things up, as well as set up the sequel, and another little surprise, so don't go too far, 'cause we've still got one more chapter to go!
And one final note: it was very difficult choosing between Heather, Lindsay, and Katie, which two would be promoted to "main character" status. Ultimately, Katie was left out simply because I knew she would be the one to actually win in the end. Katie was the intended winner from the very first chapter, so despite a few things changing from my plans since I started the story, that was always meant to be.
…yes, Katie. Who'd have ever guessed?
