Chapter 50

I looked out at the window and saw snow falling. It was the beginning of winter and the days became short while the nights longer. I was playing with my 7 month year old daughter on the floor. I let out some small sparks from the tips of my fingers, which caused her to stare in awe. Ever since Marvolo was taken, I slowly started regaining my ability to use magic. I turned to see if Valentine was paying attention but she was casually sitting on the couch too preoccupied by her nails to even look at us. Her son was preparing for Hogwarts with Abraxas' parents, a prospect Marvolo probably greatly envied him for. Marvolo… It had been only a month since I saw my child and it was excruciatingly painful. Everyday I worried if he was safe, if he was taken care of. I tried to take my mind off of the subject. I reassured myself that Marvolo was a strong young man. He was so much more powerful than I could ever be and more compassionate than anyone I knew. He was going to be okay… I took another glance at Valentine and realized she was still looking at her nails…

"Valentine, why did you even take this position if all you do is stare at your nails all day?" I asked.

"Exactly," she said giving me a smug look, "It's the perfect job. I seriously just relax all day."

"Of course," I scoffed, "I guess some people just never change."

"And what does that suppose to mean, Lestrange?"

"It means you're still a privileged little prick."

"Privileged!? Look who's talking."

"I beg your pardon," I retorted.

"You heard me. Oh come on! You are from the most influential and rich family in the wizarding world, excluding the Malfoys of course. And now you're married to the most powerful dark wizard in existence. You barely have to lift a finger!"

"If that's what you think then you obviously don't know a thing about me."

"Oh please! Stop victimizing yourself. Just admit what a great life you have and how you're just too spoiled to be thankful for it." That threw me off the edge.

"You want to know how spoiled I was! Here!" Right then and there, I unleashed my full magic and allowed her to enter my head. Actually, more like forced her into my head. I replayed for her the instances that scarred me during my life; my father's treatment of me, my mother's death, my brother's bullying, death of Kreeny, Tom's torture, my father's betrayal, Abraxas' abandonment and the lack of control for the safety of my children. I let her see it and feel it. I could hear her pleading me to stop but I didn't… not until I heard Leandra cry. I snapped out of my thoughts and noticed by child reaching up to be carried. I quickly scooped her up and bounced her a bit in my arms. As she calmed, I slowly placed her in her crib to nap. I turned my attention back at Valentine who was staring out with tears swarming her eyes and her mouth agape.

"I'll gladly switch places with you," I said which grabbed her attention and her head swiveled to face me.

"That- that can't… b-but at school… I never," she stuttered.

"What you saw was the outside… what people wanted you to see," I said. Before she could say anything more, the door busted open and in came Abraxas carrying Tom by the shoulders with two other death eaters following.

"What happened!? Where's Marvolo!?" I asked hysterical.

"Don't start a fit. He's training with Romulus. He was not with us," Tom said as he pushed Abraxas aside so he could stand on his own, "All of you leave."

"But my lord…" One of the death eaters started.

"Leave now!" Tom yelled. And just like that, the death eaters scattered while Valentine quietly scurried away but not before taking one last look my way. I couldn't quite read her expression but it almost looked apologetic. Abraxas, on the other hand was not fazed by Tom's command.

"My lord, you need to be treated," he said.

"I have Eliana. She will treat me."

"And what makes you think I would do that?" I challenged. I was still fired up from my interaction with Valentine that the words just came out of my mouth. Abraxas seemed surprised while Tom annoyed.

"I have no time for this Eliana or must I threaten you again." Tom said while carefully sitting on the couch. I stood still while the anger once again built inside of me.

"I'm pretty sure that statement was already a threat… Fine," I gave in. I gave Abraxas a look signaling he was free to go. He stared back but with a longing look and hesitation on what to say next. I felt my heart tighten at seeing his face again. It had been so long but my stomach still managed to produce butterflies upon seeing his face. He slowly nodded his head and took his leave, leaving me starring after him. My thoughts were recollected when I heard Tom grunt in pain. I rolled my eyes and preceded to grab the materials I needed for first aid.

"You need to tell me what happened in order for me to treat you," I said returning to his side.

"Blood loss and dehydration," he simply said.

"That's not much information."

"It's all the information you need." I glared at his unwillingness to cooperate but I knew he wasn't wrong. It was all the information I needed.

"If that's the case then the best thing I can do is treat your wounds and offer you water," I said. I knew a simple potion would easily treat him but I still wanted to keep secret the fact my magic was slowly getting stronger.

"Do what you must," he said. I started cleaning and bandaging the cuts on his arms and offered him a glass of water. The cuts seemed rather deep and maybe even self inflicted… Tom? Committing suicide?

"How'd you get these?" I asked.

"It's none of your concern." I pressed a little harder with the disinfected on his wounds causing him to whelp in pain.

"What the bloody hell!?"

"You're being a royal pain in my arse, Tom." His brow raised at my tone of voice and sudden outburst.

"You do know I could have you tortured for this," he threatened.

"It's not like I haven't experienced your torture before."

"Do you enjoy it so much that you entice me to do more?"

"In your dreams…" Silence was between us as I treated his wounds. It took everything in me not to conjure up the killing curse and end his life right there and then but the uncertainty of how Romulus would treat my son if he were to find out was too great of a risk. I knew for a fact that Tom could communicate to his followers quite easily through the dark mark. I couldn't take a chance at risking my son's life.

"Eliana, humor me for a moment. Why is it you find my cause so-"

"Disgusting, inhumane, evil?"

"I was going to say unappealing." I was a bit surprised by his question but answered anyways thinking there was no harm in it.

"Because it is."

"And why is that my love? You see my followers are only increasing. Surely, if there are so many people who agree with me, then the cause is not as awful as you think."

"You can lead thousands to the edge of a cliff. You might even be able to convince them to jump off if you know how to exploit their weaknesses and play on their desires. And unfortunately, you just have the talent for it."

"That doesn't mean my cause is wrong."

"It doesn't make it right either."

"hm… You were always the smart one weren't you? It's no wonder I was so drawn to you."

"Save it, Tom. You were drawn to my pure blood."

"That is true… but I also enjoyed our talks in the library. You were always the only one who could truly engage in decent conversation."

"You're sudden flattery isn't going to change anything, especially my view on your cause so why don't you just stop."

"It may have been sudden but it is true." I looked up from the arm I was just applying disinfectant on to look at Tom. His eyes were calm and he looked at me with such gentleness I hadn't seen in a long time. For a quick second, I thought I saw the young boy I had fallen for…

"You know, one of the signs of love is enjoying each other's company." He scoffed at my comment

"You know as well as I that I am not capable of such emotion."

"And I think that's just a load of horse shit. I think you are capable of love, Tom. I think the only reason you don't feel it now is because you don't want to. You don't put value in love so you just suppress it."

"Believe what you wish, love, but it won't change the facts."

"If you can't love or care for someone then why did you save me all those years ago?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Our first year… after potions, you saved me from Romulus. If you do only care about yourself and power, then why did you save me?"

"I was a child, Eliana."

"Then you were capable of human decency and emotion when you were a child?"

"That's not what I-"

"You didn't know I was a Lestrange until days, weeks after that. And yet, you were still kind to me. I could've been a muggle born for all you knew."

"Enough, Eliana," he said in a low tone but I was too hyped up to stop. I finally had the courage to confront Tom, I wasn't about to waste it.

"And I loved you, Tom. You were my best friend. How dare you abuse that?"

"You loved me!? Don't make me laugh! I saw the way you and Abraxas got close! Even to this day, he betrayed you and you still love him. I saw it just now. You never loved me!" I was shocked by his sudden outburst. Tom was… angry… jealous…

"Tom…" Just then Tom stood and grasped my neck with his hand. He squeezed tight and lifted me to my feet.

"Tom… please… stop." I chocked.

"You want to know how I feel for you, Eliana. I feel hatred… Your happiness makes me cringe. The only thing that allows me to enjoy you is the pain I can inflict on you and the fact you will always be mine." With that he finally let me go, causing me to fall to ground gasping for breath. As I lay there breathless, Tom walked off to the bedroom, not even caring about the blood that was slowly seeping from his wounds or the fact that I was barely conscious. I was confused…. Baffled… what in the world just happened?