A/N: Shit gets a little meta here. I was amused while writing it. Also, this chapter is gonna be kinda rushed, but I'm just as eager to see Rowan saved as all of you. Trying to get the lead up out quickly.

Also, so much disdain for Dumbledore! I don't think he's completely unfeeling. I think he cares about the Order's members, but he has to maintain an objective eye in order to effectively lead [and sometimes deceive], like a general. I know a lot of people don't like him much, but I still think he's fascinating, particularly because he lost so much. His and Snape's dynamic is really intriguing to me in particular. A relationship of convenience or actual respect? I could never be sure.

Worthfull1: All caught up! Thanks for always reviewing :) Yeah, I felt bad for damaging Lettie's face - being "pretty" is such a delicate matter for little girls - but I think it added something to her character and will continue to do so later. And don't despair for Danny quite yet! His backstory will definitely be coming out a bit more in the future, and he'll get to tie up what Remus left unfinished with the Gladaman. We're starting into the wrapping up of loose ends very soon! Thanks so much again!

CarpeThatDiem14: THANK YOU SO MUCH! 1 review or 100, it doesn't matter to me! Your review was really sweet and touched on a lot of things I work hard on, so I appreciate it a lot. I'm really glad you've enjoyed the story enough to keep with it this long, and even happier that you want to keep going with me! I'm always happy to hear that Remus fans approve of my OC. I feel like he's a character that deserves more. Thank you so much again! I will definitely finish the story!

gpfs17: Ah, I'm so happy! I'm really glad the story has kept you interested this long. I think I've definitely lost some readers along the way just with the length of the story T_T Sirius and Mina will definitely have a bit of happiness, so don't worry! And Danny is gonna show his stuff in this chapter a bit. Thank you so much again!

Guest?: Thank you! Sign your review next time so I know whom to thank properly! ^^

missalex3030: Hello! Sirius and Mina will have some happiness eventually too, so don't worry! Thank you so much for the review, as always!

Eirithdiel: Thank you, as always! I like Archie a lot too, and Lettie's relationship with Mina is quickly growing on me a lot. I hope to incorporate her more later. Rowan will be rescued soon!

lightbabe: Hello again! It's been a while! Ah, I think Dumbledore isn't into games for fun. He just has to to keep his strategy going with Snape. Rowan's kidnapping probably threw a wrench into his plans. In the great scheme of things, Snape is probably more important to the success of the Order than Rowan, sadly, so he'd consider Snape's identity more valuable. But thank you so much! It's so good to hear from you!

SpiralsawsGirl: Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate the kind words ^^

Disclaimer: I own none of this!

Source: Rowling, J. K. (2005). Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Scholastic: New York


April 2, 1987

Dear Remus,

I passed my Potions Master examinations today - the youngest one in history again, so they say. It's strange to have to receive more certification at this point in my life. Everyone else at the exam was much older, many with families of their own to greet them after. They've all done some incredible things, and though I know my research is particularly specialized, I don't know if I feel as accomplished. I have no husband or children or even a boyfriend at this point. I suppose the closest thing I have to a spouse is my job. To be honest, when I came out of the exam and saw all of the families there, I imagined what it would've been like if you'd been there to congratulate me. I pictured your face in the crowd like old times and how nice it would've been to run to you, how you would've smiled at me. It's a bit sad, isn't it?

You weren't there to celebrate my Potioneer license either, remember? It was a terribly frightening few weeks when you were gone. I think the only time I ever felt so helpless was while waiting for news of Harry and Sirius after James and Lily died. I think that feeling is the worst - knowing you can't do anything but wait. I remember wanting to come find you desperately but knowing that I couldn't. Was it cowardly of me to leave you there? I know now that I probably would have gotten myself killed, but Eugenia did it, didn't she? The more I think about it, the more remarkable she seems to me.

Perhaps that's the difference between their love and ours - Eugenia went after Stewart, and he came home. If I came after you after all of this, would you have come home to me?

- Rowan


Chapter 52: Remember, Remember

I.

November had come, cold and harsh. The wind seemed to howl relentlessly, beating the shutters and trees like a discordant orchestra. Even as the Order spoke quietly deep within the old House of Black, the wind could be heard outside, scraping against the long street. Remus shuddered slightly as a particularly harsh gust hit the tree outside.

Remus sat at the end of the long table at 12 Grimmauld Place with Sirius beside him and Mina on Sirius' opposite. The three were tired, so very tired. They were beyond words for each other, even arguments.

The past month had been long and cold and terribly lonely. Remus hadn't known such silence in many years. Even in his moments of isolation and struggles over the years seemed happy in these times of continuous searching, for the act of searching only served to emphasize what he lacked. He lacked Rowan and lacked the means to find her. He lacked the means to protect her. And now he feared that he lacked the means to continue.

But he endured. They all did, but the rest of the Order's efforts were waning. With each week, it seemed the fervor with which the other Order members worked was lost, and even as they assisted Remus, Mina, and Sirius, Remus could see the doubts within each gaze. Even Molly and Arthur seemed to be tired, on the verge of giving up, and he had neither the strength nor strategy to rally their friends together to keep going.

The Order was quiet as they sat around the table. Something about the chill seemed to silence them all. A few spoke quietly amongst themselves, but for the most part, they all sat with eyes dazed and averted. They were tired.

"Ahem."

The silence broke, and all looked up to see Minerva McGonagall stand at the head of the table. She, too, had been looking worse for wear, with heavier bags under her eyes than Remus had ever seen, even after her injury from Umbridge just a few months prior. He realized suddenly just how old she'd grown. Would she be able to keep going in this war?

McGonagall stood quietly for a moment, and briefly, her eyes met Remus'. His throat constricted at the grief there. She then looked away, and he knew without a doubt that he wouldn't like her next words.

"We first need to discuss the matter of the search for Rowan," she said quietly. Remus felt Sirius bristle beside her, and he was sure he would vomit. From somewhere deep, whatever heat his body contained shot through his every limb. He felt it in his neck, in his face.

"We're sorry, but Dumbledore believes it's time to start redirecting our efforts elsewhere."

"What?"

Remus couldn't even respond before a voice jerked them all shrilly. Mina stood a few seats down, hands pressed to the table furiously and eyes blazing.

"You can't be serious! We're so close to finding her!" she shouted. Remus was dumbfounded. He had never seen Mina lose her cool so quickly, so violently. Even Sirius seemed afraid. Her nostrils flared furiously. "Dumbledore hasn't done anything to help us find Rowan, and now he's-"

"We understand that, Mina, but we've already spent so much of our energy looking for her. As terrible as it is, we have to examine our other priorities as well," reasoned Kingsley.

"Like what? What else do we have going on now that we can't still keep looking for Rowan?" she argued.

"Surrey, the Christmas holidays are coming up. You know it's always a high stress season. We have to commit the entire force for the upcoming month," said McGonagall. Her lips twisted slightly for a moment in conflict. Remus could see her reluctance to give up the search for Rowan too, but she was resolute. "We cannot afford the search any longer. If she were any other member, we'd have given up months ago."

"Because she's still alive!" Mina shouted. She pounded her fist on the table furiously. The lamp above sparked blindingly, earning a few gasps from around the room. Mina seemed to glow in her passion. "We would know if she weren't alive! How can you all abandon her now when we -"

"Face it, Mina! We have other things to worry about too! Rowan isn't the center of the Order, and you're being unreasonable for expecting us to drop everything to find her!" argued Hestia, also standing from her seat.

"If this were Emmeline, you wouldn't be so quick to give up the search, Hestia!" bit back Mina. Hestia faltered. Her anger seemed to flicker like the light above, and Mina took her hesitation to surge forward. "If Emmeline were still alive, you'd be just as insistent to keep searching for her as I am! Don't act so high and mighty like you have the Order's interests in mind, you hypocrite!" Hestia's anger returned like a wave.

"How dare you -"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!"

The two women stopped as McGonagall's voice shook the room. All eyes turned to see the older witch glaring hotly at Mina and Hestia, lips twisting and tight. Hestia faltered again, but Mina's fury remained white and burning. McGonagall did not waver.

"We are not continuing this discussion any longer. You may continue your search for Delacroix, but not on Order time," she said. Her voice quivered slightly at Rowan's name, but she remained firm. "This topic is finished. End of discussion." Remus thought he might vomit at any moment.

There was a sudden screech of wood on wood, and all heads turned to see Mina's chair overturned behind her. Her eyes remained downcast, but they were burning, furious. Her lips twisted as if with the need to release a terrible sound, but she spun from the table for the table.

"Mina!" called Will, but she was already at the door. "Mina!" he called again, but with a swoop of the door and a few long strides down the hall, they knew she was gone. Will stood to follow her, but Sirius raised a hand.

"Let her go, Will," he said firmly. The younger man reared on him, eyes blazing. He opened his mouth to say something biting, surely, but the sharp look on Sirius' face told him to drop it. To everyone's surprise, Will also sat back down with a sharp clomp and glared furiously at the table much like his sister had just done. Remus couldn't look up from the table to meet Sirius gaze, which scored over him searchingly.

"Well, then," said McGonagall, clearing her throat. "The next item -"

Remus didn't hear the rest of the meeting. He didn't meet anyone's eyes, nor did they try to seek his. Only Tonks, Sirius and Molly seemed to look over at him, faces full of worry and guilt. He wished he could sink into the ground and never reemerge. He wondered if he would find Rowan there.


II.

Upon reaching the Gladaman, Danny immediately understood what Remus had meant by "gray." The hills, the people, the village - it was all gray. He supposed it might look different in the summer, but November did the bleak landscape no justice. He wanted to curl up in the tiny hut he'd been given as shelter and sleep until spring.

But he had a mission, and any information about the Death Eaters would not be found in his dreams. He needed to find his way to the inner circle. He needed to get to Greyback.

Danny had been surprised, to say the least, when Dumbledore had assigned him such a high-risk mission immediately upon his joining the Order, though he supposed it couldn't be helped. The werewolf community was small, and most of the connections the Order had were well-known lycanthropes. Remus had wanted to come, but he was perhaps the most recognizable out of all of them, and Greyback would certainly remember him. Yes, Danny was an ideal candidate to be sent here - young, freshly infected, and still strong. He was exactly the sort of man Greyback sought for his closest disciples. The angry young man - he fit the picture perfectly. He just needed to make the right connections and play his cards right, and he'd be in.

"Everything here is pretty straightforward. You do your work, you respect the code, you'll get on fine," rambled the young man next to him. He was perhaps a couple of years older, though a few inches shorter than Danny. Scraggly brown hair and drooping eyes - Ryder, was it? He was thin and gangly but with a sharp grin. Danny decided that he quite liked him.

"Thanks, mate. I'll admit I'm a bit nervous. It's a big change," he said. Ryder smiled knowingly.

"Yeah, you're a far stone's throw from London. It's a harsh shift, but you'll get used to it in no time. We all do," he said encouragingly. Danny smiled sheepishly and opened his mouth to respond, but a sharp shoulder suddenly jabbed into his side. He grunted slightly and turned to see an older, grizzly man stalk by. Ryder glared harshly.

"Watch it, you old bastard!" he growled. The older man turned with narrowed eyes, lip curling. His teeth were yellow and sharp.

"Go back to London, ya blithering pound dog," he sneered. He then turned and stalked away, leaving Danny with the younger werewolf. He frowned.

"What'd he call me?" he asked. Ryder sighed and rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"Pound dog - it's a sort of derogatory term for city-dwelling werewolves. Many of the men here think city werewolves to be weaker or subservient to normal wizards. It's a strange sort of logic," he explained. Danny nodded as the information sank in. He remembered Remus' warnings about the social constructs here and made a note to be more careful with whom he shared his background.

"Should I keep the fact that I'm from London to myself?" he asked warily. Ryder gave a sort of crooked grin.

"Honestly, mate, everything about you screams, 'London!'" he said. Danny looked down at himself and noted the crispness of his clothes and the newness of his boots. He cringed. He did look conspicuously well-dressed and groomed in contrast to the gray people here. Despite the harsh journey he'd had to the Gladaman, he still looked worlds more put together than anyone here. Ryder grinned and clapped him on the back.

"Don't worry, Danny boy. Give it a week, and you'll be as filthy and mangy as the rest of us!" he said with a laugh. Danny cringed. He could only hope so.

But the question at hand still remained. Could he ask Ryder this without seeming suspicious? He grimaced inwardly. He wouldn't know if he didn't give it a shot, right?

"I heard Greyback would be coming back here soon," he said slowly. Ryder's eyes narrowed, head whipping towards him before looking around shiftily.

"You're interested in Greyback?" he asked. Danny nodded.

"His views on lycanthropy are interesting, aren't they? I'm interested in seeing what kind of man he is," he said carefully. Ryder shifted again. Danny couldn't tell if it was with distrust or reluctance.

"They're certainly... unique," he said slowly. So Ryder wasn't one of Greyback's men, it seemed. He made a note to be more careful around him. "He's certainly got quite a few followers here who think he's got the right idea."

"But most of the people here aren't supportive of it?" Danny urged.

"Most people just want to get by," said Ryder a bit bitterly. "We're not trying to start any wars or movements. There are certainly some folk who are all for whatever Greyback's doing - that bloke who hit you is one of them - but for the most part, we just want to survive." Danny nodded. He'd suspected that he would have to get in with the shadier individuals here to get to Greyback, but it seemed his work would be harder than he'd anticipated.

"Is he around often?" he asked. Ryder shrugged.

"Lately, no, but it seems he's back for a while," he said. Danny's chest thrummed.

"He's back?" he asked, a bit too excitedly. Ryder's eyes narrowed, and Danny mentally berated himself.

"Yeah, he and his lackies came back just a few days ago," he said slowly. He looked around carefully and then leaned in closer to Danny. "Look, mate, I would advise against all that. I know his ideas sound real nice, but I can tell you it ain't worth it. Those blokes ain't messing around. It's some pretty nasty business." Danny nodded and tried to look like he was listening, but his mind was already pacing.

There, a few huts down, was a group of large imposing men. The one at the head was enormous and gray. His eyes were dark, mouth pulled into a leering smile, teeth unnaturally sharp.

Fenrir Greyback was here, and Danny was going to find his way into his inner circle even if it killed him.


III.

Snape's lip curled with disgust on its own accord as he stepped into the dingy property of Spinner's End. Despite his orders to Wormtail to make the house a bit more livable, the fat rat had done nothing, it seemed. The old floral wallpaper was peeling off the walls like dead skin. The house's scent was of decayed wood and memories. A sense of deep disdain filled him as the memories of the house echoed within his mind. If Dumbledore hadn't insisted that he keep it, he would've burned it to the ground ages ago.

"Wormtail!" he shouted. From somewhere within, there was a thud and a squeak. The sound of shuffling feet rustled towards him until a round form appeared in the distant hallway door. A pair of beady eyes narrowed at him.

"What do you want?" he asked resentfully. Snape nearly rolled his eyes.

"You have not reported to me in sometime, and I grow tired of your delays," he said pointedly. Wormtail winced slightly at Snape's cold ton but held his resentful glare. "Have you made her eat yet?" he asked slowly. He did not miss the downward flicker of Wormtail's gaze - no, he had not. His lips curled again.

"Am I to believe that you cannot even make a single, half-starved woman ingest a piece of bread?" he asked derisively. Wormtail's lips tightened, but his eyes could not meet Snape's this time. How shameful. "Your incompetence continues to astound me. Why the Dark Lord hasn't put you out of your misery yet, I'll never know."

"Did you come here just to reprimand me, or do you need something?" hissed Wormtail sourly. Snape scoffed.

"I came to remind you of your duties, Wormtail," he retorted. Wormtail bristled, face reddening.

"If you're so eager to see her fed, why don't you do it?" he quipped back shrilly. Snape's eyes flashed dangerously. Wormtail flinched, expecting retribution for his defiance, but Snape quelled his anger. He took in a deep breath through his nostril and then glared sharply down at Wormtail, who cowered. He was such a pathetic man, even in his rebellion.

"Did you put her to sleep like I told you?" he asked curtly. Wormtail nodded mutely. Snape gave him another sharp look and then headed for the stairs. Wormtail eyed him narrowly as he pushed past him. "I will see to her today, since you are so incapable. Do not disturb me." He stalked up the stairs swiftly, quietly, wishing to put as much distance between himself and the small, pitiful man. Wormtail did not follow.

When he made it to the door at the end of the hall, he paused. It had been years since he'd last stood outside this shut door. How many times had he listened through the cracks for his mother's tears? He felt the presence of another woman behind it now, but it was silent. He took in a deep breath and opened the door.

Instead of the tall bed of his late parents and the flowery curtains that was hung in the window, the room was bare, save for one person. At the center of the room was a small, dirty mattress, and above it was the frail form of Rowan Delacroix. She hovered inches above the pillowy surface, dark hair cascading limply beneath her. Her clothes were different from the ones he'd seen the last time he'd been there. Had Wormtail changed her? He felt his skin crawl at the thought of his filthy hands touching her. If Lupin knew, he would undoubtedly kill the rat man.

Snape stepped in and shut the door behind him quietly. He pointed his wand wordlessly at the door, and with a click and sheen, he knew Wormtail would not be able to press his nosy ears into this moment. He then turned and looked back to Delacroix, moving towards her carefully before sinking down to his knees to be level with her.

Her cheeks and eyes were sunken, arms and legs frail. He imagined he could snap her in two with barely a flick of his fingers. Her sternum rose and fell with her breath, even through her clothes, ribs jutting unnaturally. If he didn't know this was Delacroix, he might not have recognized her. He marveled at how unmoved he remained at her emaciated form. He looked over her another moment before reaching into his robes.

From the inner pocket of his robes, he collected a bottle of thick green potion. He looked at it carefully and then up at Delacroix again. Her lips were slightly parted. Good. He uncorked the bottle and placed a hand at her temple before bringing the bottle to her lips. He focused his thoughts at the tips of his fingers and felt the warmth from his hand shift to her. Her eyebrows furrowed as if in pain, and then she exhaled laboriously, lips parting more. Snape lost no time and tipped the bottle up so the green liquid oozed into her mouth. Her entire body seized as if to reject the potion, but her mouth remained open. He allowed a mouthful of liquid to spill out before pulling the bottle back. Her mouth snapped shut, but he noted that she didn't swallow. Her face twisted and contorted with conflict, and a tiny whine escaped the back of her throat.

Finally, she gulped the potion down with another gasp. Snape half-expected her to wake and lash out at him, but her eyes remained closed, breath labored. His lips tightened with approval.

They repeated this process another three times until the potion was completely gone. A thin sheen of sweat had formed on her forehead and her body remained tense, but he felt relieved. She'd received more nutrients in just three mouthfuls than she'd had in probably five months combined. He had bought them more time to work around their delicate situation. He corked the bottle and slipped it back into his robes. He made a move to stand but hesitated, looking back at her.

The difference in her appearance suddenly seemed to dawn on him. She had always been a fiery figure in all the years he'd known her. Whether he liked her or not, he'd always respected her fervor, even if it were with reluctance. To see her so fragile was offputting, to say the least. The image of his mother, frail and sick in this same room, emerged in his mind. His throat tightened, and before he could stop himself, he'd leaned forward.

"We're going to get you out of here, Delacroix," he whispered, "but you have to work with me." He almost expected her to respond with something biting, but her face didn't move. His lips pulled tight, and he stood. Without another glance back, he made his way out the door. Wormtail was not there.

As he shut the door, Snape sighed, suddenly very tired. When would this all be over? When would he debt to these people be repaid? He took another breath and made his way to the exit. He needed to report to Dumbledore.


IV.

Danny scowled and stalked the narrow road.

Just as Ryder had said, he was looking every bit the Gladaman werewolf. A week had passed since his arrival, and he was settling into the harsh routine of the Gladaman smoothly. It was a life of labor: wake up, work the field, sometimes join the hunt, go to bed. The harsh sound of barked orders and howls echoed at the back of his mind. Yes, these days were familiar. He grimaced again and pushed the memories away.

Two weeks had passed without any steps closer to Greyback. He knew this mission would take time, but he'd hoped that he'd at least have another connection to show for his efforts; however, it seemed his "pound dog" status still hadn't been alleviated - most of the men were aloof towards him at best, if not openly hostile. The man who had bumped into him on his first day - Zeno was his name, as Danny found out - had even sought another verbal confrontation with him just a few days before, only being disrupted with another intervention from the levelheaded Ryder.

Ryder, as it turned out, was the de facto village mediator. Danny had witnessed several instances of the young man stepping into conflicts over anything, ranging from disagreements about vegetable prices at the market to full-on fist fights between the men. He was young - only 28 or so - but Ryder seemed to carry a sense of respect from the villagers with him wherever he went. Danny was more than curious about Ryder's story, but he still hadn't managed to bring it up with him yet. The other man appeared to be wary of Danny after Danny's apparent interest in Greyback, and Danny couldn't blame him. He supposed he did look suspicious, and though he wished otherwise, it was probably for the best. Ryder was obviously not well-liked by Greyback's men, and if it appeared that Ryder didn't trust Danny, that was to the benefit of his greater mission.

But even so, his efforts to keep the distance between him and potentially the only other man worth knowing in the village had provided unfruitful. The past year had certainly been lonely for him in his attempts to adjust to his new condition, but this was an entirely new kind of isolation. Kept from his family and friends and now even his wand, he was stranded in a world of hostility and mistrust. A young woman had attempted to speak to him in the village the other day, but she'd been pulled away by another with a harsh glare - another reminder that he was not welcome there. He continued to remind himself of Remus' warnings that it would take time for him to gain trust, especially without a supportive chief. Greyback was running the show, and its theme was violence.

Danny was so caught up in his own brooding that he completely missed the door that swung open directly in front of him and the woman that stepped out from behind it. He grunted as he collided with her, and she let out a slight shriek and a series of curses as they both stumbled and a flow of turnips fell from her basket to the cold ground.

"I-I'm terribly sorry!" he exclaimed, diving to the ground to retrieve the dropped vegetables. "I wasn't looking where I was going. I should've been paying attention. I'm terribly sorry!" His face was hot, head thrumming. Not only was he a pound dog, but he was also a fumbling idiot! The woman scowled but said nothing as she also stooped down to collect her turnips.

"Cassandra!"

Danny's throat tightened. He looked up quickly to see the woman beside him also peer up at the sound of the voice. There was another woman at the end of the road, eyeing them suspiciously, a similar basket in her hands. The other woman's eyes narrowed at the sight of Danny and then looked pointedly at the dark-haired woman beside him. "Hurry up!" she shouted and then hooked back around the corner. Danny stared dumbstruck.

"Your name is Cassandra?" he asked, shocked. She frowned and paused, arm still outstretched with a large turnip in her hand. She looked up at him warily, frowning.

"Do I know you?" she asked cautiously. He shook his head too quickly, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. He shifted. What do I do? He kicked himself mentally for blurting something so obviously conspicuous.

He looked at her again. Dark messy hair, narrowed dark eyes… her round face held a hardened expression that aged her considerably. She couldn't be that old - 35 at the most if he remembered Remus' story correctly - but this life had been hard on her. But still, something in her face held a whisper of lighter days. Would she give him away? Could he trust her?

He would take a chance, he decided.

"Was your father's name Ulfred by chance?" he asked quietly, rushed. She visibly recoiled this time, lip curling, as if he'd burned her hand.

"What do you know of my father?" she hissed. Danny's heart pounded deafeningly in his ears. The same young woman who had saved Remus so many years ago - this was her! He had to still his breath, afraid that he might break the spell if he even inhaled.

"You don't know me," he said quietly, "but I know of you. You once helped another man - a friend of mine - a long time ago from Greyback. I don't know if you'd remember him. His name is Remus Lupin." Cassandra's eyes went wide as dinner plates.

"Remus Lupin," she whispered. Her eyes widened even further as the information sank in. "So that means you-" She stopped abruptly, snapping her mouth shut like a curse. Her eyes scored over him quickly like a flame. She then looked around them hastily. No one had noticed their strange interaction, luckily, but she didn't look up at him again. She instead snatched the last turnip from his hands and quickly stood with the basket of vegetables. She held the basket tightly like a secret.

"My house, 1 o'clock tonight," she whispered from the corner of her mouth. "Don't be seen." And with that, she rushed off, leaving Danny alone in the middle of the street. He stared after he for a moment, dumbstruck, before also continuing on his way hurriedly in the opposite direction. He hoped desperately that her reaction was a good one and that he hadn't just signed away his identity.


V.

Harry breathed the cold November air in deeply, letting it fill his lungs all the way down into his gut. As he exhaled, his chest felt as if it might expand forever, and he with it. It had been a while since he'd looked out into the mountains or even had a quiet peaceful moment alone. He made a note to come out here more often, to escape the tension between Ron and Hermione and the constant gaggle of girls that seemed to follow him everywhere.

There was certainly something happening between Ron and Hermione besides their usual bickering. Harry grimaced. He was the last one who wanted to admit the sexual tension between them. He was probably even more reluctant than they were, but he couldn't keep denying the fact that they were blatantly attracted to each other. But it didn't seem like anything would be happening romantically, at least not anytime soon with the way things were going. They were hardly speaking at all, let alone moving towards a relationship. Harry couldn't be sure if he was relieved or not.

Things with him and Cho had dissolved rather terribly. What if the same happened with Ron and Hermione? Well, nothing would happen if things continued on in this way. They'd ruin their friendship before anything romantic could develop between the two of them. And then what would he do? And what if they did start dating? Would he be left as a third wheel? He groaned. It seemed that either way it leaned, he was left picking up the pieces. He wished desperately that Rowan were there. She'd know what to do, right?

As he sat out on the hilltop, he remembered his godmother's fond stories of her own afternoons here and wondered if any remnants of her presence still existed in this soil, in this grass. He hoped that he could soak it up and hold it with him. As he looked up into the late afternoon sky, he wondered if she could look out and see it as well. Would he ever be able to sit here with her one day? Would he ever be able to hear another story about her childhood with his father?

November - she'd been missing for five months now. Surely, if she were dead, they'd know by now, right? Emmeline Vance's body had turned up only a week after she'd disappeared. Voldemort would not hesitate to throw his dead godmother's remains into the river to be found if he'd disposed of her already. He would have made sure to pry into Harry's mind to make him watch. No, Rowan was alive somewhere out there. Harry was sure of it.

But where was she? How could five months have passed without a single trace of her? He knew Lupin, Sirius, and Mina were at least searching tirelessly for her. Even if the rest of the Order had given up by now, those three wouldn't rest until their friend was found. So why was it taking so long? Where could she possibly be?

"Harry?"

Harry's dark thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a clear voice. He looked up to see Ginny Weasley peering down at him curiously and felt his chest tighten in a strange way at the sight of her long red hair draped over her shoulder as she bent over him. Some of the bright sunlight shone through it with red and orange and yellow piercing through. Something in his gut lurched, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He told himself it was from the sudden disruption of his brooding. She gave him a curious sort of smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked. Harry blinked dumbly before scrambling to sit up. She grinned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just out of it," he rambled quickly. She nodded.

"Do you need a minute? I don't want to intrude," she said. He shook his head quickly.

"No, no, please," he said, gesturing to the spot next to him. She smiled again and sat down in the grass about a foot away from him. He felt the distance sharply, despite their proximity. Was she too close or too far?

"You really do seem out of it," she remarked. He looked up to see her gazing at him with some slight concern. He gave a weak shrug.

"I guess," he said, shivering lightly. It really was cold, wasn't it? He looked over at her. "What're you doing out here?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Getting away from Dean for a bit. He can just be so clingy sometimes," she said. That something in Harry's gut lurched again.

"I wouldn't have guessed that," he said, hoping he sounded casual. She scoffed.

"Yeah, I didn't either when we started dating, but I reckon people surprise you," she said dully. Harry offered a weak smile. He wanted to ask more, but wouldn't it seem strange? Ron didn't ask about Dean much except the accusing questions. Even if they held a sibling-like relationship, wouldn't it be strange to ask her about her relationship with Dean? But before he could decide, she shook her head as if to shake the negative thoughts away and then smiled warmly at him. There was a bit of fire in the brown irises of her eyes. Everything about her held some fire though, didn't it?

"It's pretty cold out here. Have you been sitting here long?" she asked. Harry shrugged.

"Not sure. I guess I lost track of time," he said, looking out over the horizon again. The sun was pink and sinking down close to the line of the mountainous peaks. It was getting late. "I've been coming here to think lately. Rowan told me she used to sit here a lot when she was a student... well, her and Lupin." Ginny's smile deepened sadly.

"You miss her a lot, huh?" she asked. Harry's cheeks warmed. He had barely spoken to Hermione or Ron about any of this. It seemed strange to confide in Ginny, but between their bickering, he'd hardly had a moment to talk about his own feelings, and even if they hadn't been arguing all term, would he feel comfortable doing so? He and Ginny had become closer over the summer though and she and Rowan were close too - was it really all that strange for him to talk to her?

"Yeah," he admitted quietly. He gave a sad sort of smile. "It's strange. I got on fine without her until a couple of years ago, but now, I feel like I've lost something significant. I just feel so... so lonely without her, I guess." He looked up to see those bright brown eyes watching him carefully, and his cheeks burned slightly. He looked down quickly.

"Sorry," he sputtered. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess I've just been getting down on myself as of late."

"No, please," she urged. He looked up to see her gazing at him eagerly. "I... I miss her a lot too. I can't really talk to Ron about these things, and Hermione's been nearly just as difficult lately. It's sort of... nice to talk about it," she said. Harry stared dumbly for a moment. Yes, Ginny would miss Rowan just as much as he would. Surely, Ron did too, even if he didn't express it. They'd known her all their lives, after all. Didn't they have a larger stake in her disappearance than even he?

"Yeah," he said quietly. He smiled softly, as did she. "Yeah, it is. I should've thought to come to you to talk about her. Guess that was stupid of me," he said. Her smile lightened slightly. He thought he might burn under it.

"Yeah, pretty stupid," she joked. He snorted slightly, and she gave a light laugh. They looked out into the distance in a comfortable silence for a moment, relishing the cold afternoon air. Harry took in a deep breath and felt some of the anxiety fall away. How long had it been since he'd felt so at ease?

"Rowan told you she used to come out here with Lupin?" asked Ginny. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, they'd sit out here when the weather was nice, and sometimes she'd just come alone to think things over in privacy," he explained. She nodded thoughtfully.

"I still can't get over the fact that they have so much history together and I never knew," she said. Harry nodded again.

"Their story is pretty amazing, isn't it? I can barely wrap my head around it either," he said. She gave a sort of lopsided smile.

"It's your story too though, you know. Yours and your parents - they were all involved with each other, weren't they?" she asked. He shrugged.

"It's more their story than mine. And if you reason it that way, then it's your family's story too," he reasoned. "After all, your mum and dad were friends with mine and Rowan and all of them too." Ginny shrugged.

"They were minor characters I think. Your parents were the protagonists," she said. Harry sighed.

"Being the protagonist sucks," he retorted dismally. She gave him that lopsided smile again.

"Yes, I suppose it does." She then looked out into the hills again with an almost longing look. "I wonder if Lupin and Rowan will get back together when this is all over," she said. She gave a sort of giddy smile. "They would make a very handsome couple I think." She looked over at Harry to see him frowning slightly and gave him a curious glance. "Do you not want them to?" Harry paused for a moment thoughtfully before shaking his head.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I'd like them to be together obviously, but after all the times Lupin left her, I'm not so sure if they'd work out. I don't know if they could ever get over how much has happened between them," he reasoned. Ginny cocked her head curiously, and Harry's stomach lurched again at the gesture. Why did he find it so endearing?

"How many times did he leave her?" she asked. Harry sighed heavily.

"Three, I think," he said. Her eyes narrowed.

"Three?" she hissed accusingly. He shrugged.

"Yeah." She let out a groan and fell back onto the cold, crunchy grass. Harry noted her black stockings beneath her uniform skirt. Had her legs always been so long?

"Who knew Lupin could be such an idiot?" she said. She then smiled a bit bitterly. "I guess all men are pretty stupid at the root of it all." Harry snorted.

"Even me?" he asked amusedly, turning to look at her. She smirked up at him.

"Especially you," she retorted. He laughed and leaned back into the grass as well. The cold ground was soothing on the back of his neck, which suddenly felt a bit too warm, even in the chilly afternoon. He took in a deep breath of the cold air and then looked over at her. She was on her side gazing at him amusedly, and suddenly, the question of distance between them struck him again - was she too far away or too close?

"I never did ask you about your times with Rowan," he continued. Harry felt a strange urge to hear Ginny's voice and to know more about his godmother all at once. It was a bit overwhelming and crazed. "You've known her all your life, right?" Ginny smiled fondly and nodded, her eyes glowing up at him. The sun had finally hit the peak of the mountains, and a rosy light fell upon her fiery hair as if to ignite it.

"She was in Hungary when I was born, but as far back as I can recall, she was there. She and Mina babysat us when Mum needed a break, which was often, and she even taught us how to fly," she said softly, happily. Her face then screwed up. "Though that doesn't do justice to how much she taught us, especially by the way Ron's been flying lately. That prat," she retorted. Harry couldn't help but let out a barking laugh. It felt like ages since he'd laughed. The sound seemed to echo endlessly through the infinite sky above them, mixing with the yellow and pink clouds. He missed the way her eyes crinkled fondly at him.

When his laughter faded, he simply stared up at the sky, letting the hard cold ground press into his back. His hands rested on his stomach. At the back of his mind, he wondered if he could reach out and take Ginny's hand in his. Would she pull away?

"Have you heard from Sirius and them at all? Have they been keeping you updated?" asked Ginny quietly. Her voice felt very close, but Harry couldn't bring himself to look. He was sure that he didn't want that image of her bright gaze peering over at him, so close.

"We've been writing, but it's obviously not really safe for him to be writing me too many details," he said. His chest ached. "Sirius sounds tired." The Order sounds tired.

They laid in silence for a moment, and Harry tried to force back the doubt that began to reemerge at the back of his mind. It felt like a very long time since he'd seen his godparents, even if he'd seen Sirius in September. They felt worlds away, like he was trapped on a different plane. Could he reach them at all?

Harry jumped slightly as he felt a small tug on his robes. He looked over to see Ginny looking over at him with a strained expression. Her lips were pulled tight, eyes large and brown and glowing. Her dark red hair pooled on the ground beneath her face. Harry suddenly wanted to roll over and press his lips against hers, feel her hair between his fingers. His eyes darted down to her mouth before he could stop himself, and her eyes widened slightly at the gesture. Her grip on his robes tightened, and Harry's breath caught.

"Ginny!"

They both jerked upward at the sudden voice and turned to see Dean Thomas jogging towards them. Harry was sure he heard Ginny growl under her breath and felt his stomach lurch in response. He turned slightly towards her, hoping to see a scowl, but instead, she'd already pulled a very strained smile to her face. Dean, however, didn't seem to notice. He smiled as he approached, greeting Harry warmly.

"Harry, mate, how's it going?" he said. Harry smiled back. It wasn't right to feel jealous. This was Ginny, after all, and she was dating Dean. It wasn't wrong of Dean to interrupt them. They were just friends.

"Good, you?" he asked. Dean shot Ginny a bright smile, who only seemed to return it out of obligation - or at least Harry wanted to believe that.

"Good. Great. Mind if I steal her away for a bit?" he asked, grinning at his girlfriend. Heat shot up Harry's neck again at Dean's choice of words, but he nodded.

"Of course. Don't let me stop you," he said. He didn't catch the slight look of disappointment that flashed across Ginny's face, but she stood and brushed herself off. Harry tried to ignore the ruffle of her skirt, the length of her legs. He smiled up at her.

"Thanks for talking to me," he said. She gave him a warm smile in return.

"What are friends for?" she replied. Something about the way she said "friends" sent an ache through his chest. "Are you going to come in soon?" Harry nodded.

"In a bit. You two go on ahead." She nodded but hesitated a moment before turning towards Dean. He held out his hand, which she took [reluctantly, Harry hoped], and then headed towards the castle, leaving Harry alone on the grassy hillside.

As Ginny and Dean walked away, Harry kept his gaze out on the mountain. The sun was bright red, much like Ginny's Weasley hair. He hated himself for associating the two, like a lovesick child. Ginny was his best mate's sister, the closest thing he'd ever have to a sister besides Hermione. She was just a friend. He did not fancy Ginny Weasley.


VI.

Danny had never known such stars in London. Out here they were larger and clearer than he had ever imagined. Specks of light seemed to dust the entire sky like an infinite expanse of velvet. The moon was high and waxing, yellow and clear in the sky. Even in those dark nights in the woods, where the werewolf had howled and thrashed, the sky had not been so bright. Danny shuddered. The waves of purple and blue almost convinced him that the clear sky tonight was a blessing.

But alas, it wasn't. As he stalked down the silent streets, he wished to Merlin that it had been overcast to give him more cover in the night. He felt his wand strapped to his chest beneath his robes but didn't remove it. He couldn't risk anyone catching him performing magic here where magic and wizarding-kind had been rejected. No, he had to wait until he was covered.

Two houses down, and then a left, and then another five houses, and then on the right...

Ah, this must be it. He hoped it was. He had been in such a rush earlier that he hadn't taken in the details of Cassandra's hut as clearly as he should have. But this looked right. There were scuff marks at the entrance from when he'd collided with her, and she'd dropped her groceries. He looked around carefully and then raised his hand to the door.

But before he could even think to knock, the door flew open. A hand shot out and grabbed him by the arm. He nearly grunted with surprised as he was yanked in, and the door was shut behind him swiftly. A round face suddenly loomed in front of his, finger pressed to its mouth. It was Cassandra.

"You're sure you weren't followed?" she hissed. He nodded, willing the beating of his heart to slow. He raised a hand slowly and reached into his robes. His hand grasped his wand and pulled it out. Cassandra's eyes widened with fear at the instrument. She recoiled as if he'd struck her. He shot her an apologetic look and then turned to the door.

"Imperturbable," he whispered. He then turned back and visibly slipped his wand back into his robes. He showed her his empty hands once more, and she seemed to relax but eyed him carefully still. They stood in the dark silence for a moment longer before she decided it was safe to speak.

"Who are you?" she whispered. Her voice seemed to reverberate through him.

"My name is Danny Imran. I am a werewolf from London and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I was sent here by Albus Dumbledore," he said. She nodded thoughtfully.

"I haven't heard that name in a long time," she said. He detected a glimmer of sadness in her eyes, a fleeting memory. That name must have brought much hope for them long ago. "You said you knew Remus Lupin as well." Another flicker of hope - Danny felt a swell of affection for this strange woman.

"He's a friend and an ally. He told me all about the Gladaman... and your father," he said quietly. Cassandra's lips tightened.

"So he made it back safely," she said. A small smile twitched at her lips. "I'd always wondered... we never heard of him again, so I could only hope..." Danny smiled.

"I can assure you he's safe and doing very well. He sends his regards," he said. She nodded thoughtfully, that shadow of smile still there. "He wished he could come instead, but it's difficult because... well, Greyback, you know..." She nodded again.

"He would kill Remus for sure," she finished. He nodded.

"He still thinks of you often though. He told me to find you to thank you for all you did for him back then. He wishes he could have come back to help all of you," he said. She shrugged.

"There's not much he could've done," she said, a trace of bitterness there.

They stood in silence for a moment. Danny could think of nothing to say as he felt Cassandra be momentarily taken over with a wave of harsh memories. There's no doubt she was considering Ulfred. How terrible it must have been to watch her father be slain in front of his people, and so dishonorably at that. And then to be subjugated to the rule of the man who had murdered her father - her bitterness must know no bounds.

"What do you want from me then?" she finally asked. "Why are you here?"

"Dumbledore sent me to infiltrate Greyback's inner circle. We think he has information about the Death Eaters' stronghold, including the location of one of our members who was taken about five months ago," he said. He smiled sadly. "She's Remus' lover." Cassandra's eyes widened.

"Another werewolf?" she asked. He shook his head, smile stretching fondly at the thought of Rowan.

"No, but she's a very gifted werewolf researcher and advocate. She's been working for nearly two decades on a cure," he explained. Her eyes narrowed sharply.

"Impossible," she hissed. He shook his head emphatically.

"No, it's true. She's done some remarkable work. She's even created a treatment that nullifies the transformation symptoms. If one takes it properly, he or she retains control during the full moon and simply sleeps through the night," he said excitedly. Her eyes widened disbelievingly, and his smile faltered. "Have you... how can you not know?" he asked. "She published it 16 years ago." Cassandra's lips tightened and then trembled. Her eyes averted, fists clenching, and Danny finally understood the isolation that Greyback and brought to these people - they had no idea how their lives could have changed. They'd been suffering needlessly all these years.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Cassandra's eyes closed tightly. She shook her head sadly. The lines in her face seemed suddenly much heavier.

"How can I trust you?" she asked quietly. Danny's lips tightened.

"You can't, I suppose," he said somewhat mournfully. "But I promise you I'm on your side. I want to see the end of Greyback just as badly as you do." Cassandra's face suddenly contorted with disgust. He recoiled somewhat and was thankful of the dark so that she couldn't see the shock on his face.

"I want him dead more than you will ever know," she hissed. "That man..." She bristled as if to keep the fury contained within her. He suddenly understood the heavy lines in her young face - how many years had she contained such anger? "Greyback murdered my father and took away any semblance of peace we had here. Our lives were hard, but they were simple back then. He's brought nothing but pain with him. For nearly 20 years I've..." She broke off again, teeth grinding and fists clenched. Danny lowered his face closer to hers so that she could see his sincerity. He wanted to reach out and touch her hand but was afraid she'd lash out at him. Any fear, any bitterness he'd felt at his condition was nothing compared to what this woman had suffered. He suddenly felt ashamed for his cowardice just months before.

"I cannot pretend to understand all the ways you've suffered here, but I promise you that I am going to do all that's in my power to take Greyback down," he said fervently. "Please, Cassandra, you must help me get to him. The sooner I do, the sooner the Order can begin infiltrating Greyback's inner circle and the Death Eaters."

Cassandra assessed him openly, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. Her round eyes trailed over him, darting back and forth.

"And you're sure you can take him down?" she whispered. There was more than a little bit of hope in her voice, in her eyes. Danny nodded.

"It might not be immediate. There are certainly other priorities for the Order, but if you help me make my way into his inner circle and I get the information I need, I will at least be able to draw him away from the Gladaman for a while," he said. Cassandra's lips tightened, eyes wide. She looked nearly hungry. Danny could see the potential swirling behind her gaze excitedly. She finally drew herself up and nodded.

"I'll get you to him within a week."