Black dog nightmares

He's lying awake at night. Staring at the ceiling.

In the half light of the clock display she can see his face screwed up in knot of rage and sadness

"What's wrong sir?" The honorific comes as second nature to her now. It just makes sense, she's collared and naked in his bed, she is his girl.

Sheldon sighs, voice low and tinged with despair. "I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But even with all my efforts, our dinner schedule, my pyjama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet, it's clear now, I've been wasting my time.

All my routine does nothing to hold it back and all my research finds no true Universal pattern to it all.

" You know, Sir, sometimes it's nice not knowing what's coming. "

"Is it? Or have you simply resigned yourself to the fact that you don't know and accepted it?"

"I know you hate surprises but sometimes good things do happen."

She starts to kiss his chest, slow sensuous kisses. With her hand she strokes his stomach, the muscles of his thigh,

"I'd have never imagined this moment would have happened, that we would have happened . And this is good." She strokes up to cup his balls, stroking softly. His cock is flaccid but starts to stir

"True, This is very good. When I'm with you I can focus properly, instead of thinking several things at once, of my surroundings, my plans for the day, my routine and worries from probable disruptions to it, everything just focuses down to just this room, just this moment, just you and me. Your touch, your scent, your voice become the whole world."

He strokes her hair away from her face, then hooks a finger into the ring on her collar, drawing her up to him. He kisses her, softly, still holding her collar.

She presses against him, hungry for his touch, feeling the tension in his muscles relax, his cock rise in her hand.

He looks her in the eye and says softly. "I love you . It's the only answer that makes sense."

She gasps, eyes wide, instinctively tries to pull back but he holds her fast by the collar. She can feel a sudden panic rising, a need to run, to hide from the commitment. The collar is thick and tight about her throat, choking her. She pushes away from him , suddenly painfully aware how naked and vulnerable she feels. She feels small and helpless as he pulls her back to him, taking her into his arms.

When she's held tight she lets it go. The panic takes flight.

She suddenly understands she can't run, can't hide as the feelings come from deep inside her.

She sobs and huddles close

"I wish you hadn't said that, I'm afraid it'll all go wrong now. It always does."

"Always? Am I anything like your previous partners?"

She shakes her head.

"And is our relationship anything like the relationships you've had before?"

Again she shakes her head for no

"Then how can you be so sure... Oh". He spends a moment in thought then he frowns. "I think I see. From your answers there is only one common element in all your previous relationships. You. You're afraid you're going to somehow mess things up and ruin this ?"

She shudders and nods. his directness is painful but he is right, she's always felt afraid of things going right as they'll soon go wrong. Run before that happens. Push people away before they push you away or let you down.

"trust me. Give yourself to me and I will never let you go."

"please, Don't let me run away, ok?

" I will not let you run"

She slips out of bed and kneels, head bowed, offering him her crossed wrists. " I submit to you, Sir. I am yours. Do with me as you will."

He reaches over to his folded clothes and pulls his belt free. He loops it round her wrists, pulling it tight in symbolic acceptance of her submission. "You are mine. Together we can take on anything the future holds"

We are all dying, every moment that passes of every day. That is the inescapable truth of this existence. It is a truth that can paralyze us with fear, or one that can energize us with impatience, with the desire to explore and experience, with the hope- no, the will!- to find a memory in every action.

To be alive, under sunshine, or starlight, in weather fair or stormy.

To dance with every step, be they through gardens of flowers or through deep snows.

Drizzt - sea of swords