Author's Note: First let me thank everyone who had reviewed, alerted, or put this story on their favorites it means a lot to me and keeps me writing.

It been a month today since I started this little story, though it's not so little now. I honestly thought when I started that it wouldn't be over about 25 chapters, I just finished writing the 63rd chapter and over 80,000 words. (Yes I'm ahead, but I like having the cushion in case something comes up.) I still am shocked that I've had that mcuh to say, or maybe it's the muse. This story took turns that I never even expected, but it has been great.

I just wanted to thank all of you for sticking with it, I was speechless when I ran across last night where you could see how many people had your story on alert (Can we say newbie?) it was over 40 it was something that I never expected. Thank you all so much.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say that I don't own them? I'm just playing with someone else's toys and do return them in the same shape I have found them (well that may not always be the case).


Hermione went to the headmistress' office for a visit the next morning, no she wasn't sorry for how she acted or what she said to Dumbledore the day before. She just now felt bad that she ran out without talking to her former head of house.

She knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Hermione opened the door entering the office, Minerva looked up smiling as she said.

"Hermione come in, have a seat. Tea?"

"Yes please."

Hermione finally glanced up seeing the empty portrait, Minerva followed her gaze.

"He thought it would be better if he wasn't here."

"I see." Hermione was a little miffed that the man couldn't face her.

"Yes, he seems to think that you lay a lot of things at his feet."

"Only what he deserves."

"I see."

"I'm sorry Pro…. Minerva I know you were close. I just don't agree with some of his actions concerning some of my loved ones."

"I understand, I really do. You've probably not said anything that I haven't to him before myself."

"Oh, I don't know. I have a bit of inside information where Severus is concerned."

"I suppose you do. So have you talked about the apprenticeship?"

"Yes, we're still thinking about it."

"Good, so things are good with Severus then?"

"As good as they can be at the moment."

"I do have to say I was surprised when you left our world, I wouldn't have thought that you would have turned your back on this. You always loved magic so much."

Hermione knew this was coming, she was even sure that the witch across from her would be the one to voice it.

"I was connected to magic in some way for almost fifteen years, and lost too much to this world. Friends, my family, finally my heart. When I left…. Everything, I never intended to come back, ever. It was all just too painful to be in this world, a world that I was sure had sucked everything I was from me."

"What changed your mind?"

"Time, distance, understanding. It all has helped."

"But Severus is the main reason." Minerva said quietly.

Hermione studied the woman across from her before saying.

"Yes, I would never ask him to give this up."

"But wont….."

Hermione shook her head saying,

"That is why I have decided that an apprenticeship would be good, even if things go wrong I would have a way to keep living even if I am alone. The last time I was….. unprepared for being alone. I was still young enough to hope that he would come around and stop me from leaving. Now that I'm older, and I hope wiser I will be prepared for anything."

"That sounds like you think that Severus will…. Cast you aside."

"I….. I'm trying not to think that way. I keep telling myself 'you never know what is going to happen' but there is still doubt that I don't know if it will ever be erased, to many things happened for there not to be."

"I can understand that." Minerva said.

They chatted some more about differ subjects until Hermione said.

"I should be getting back, classes should be over by now."

"Yes, I shall talk to you again soon I hope."

"Yes, I have enjoyed this greatly."

"So have I."

~~^~~SSHG~~^~~

Unknown to the two in the headmistress' office they were overheard by Severus. It was just another time that he overheard something that he wasn't meant to. But once he heard the words he couldn't un-hear them. He turned from the door going back to his rooms.

Once there he pulled out a bottle of whisky, not Ogden's but the muggle kind that worked so much better and quicker. He poured himself a glass as his mind traveled over her words again and again.

Hermione walked into their rooms closing the door before turning to see Severus sitting in his chair with a bottle and a glass. She sighed, she wasn't in the mood for dealing with a drunk Severus. She knew he had bouts of depression, she even understood it but her mind kept flashing over the past when he was more cutting with his remarks when he was drinking. She didn't say anything as she walked to her room.

Severus watched her as she came in, then as she stood there looking at him. She never said a word to him just walked off toward her bedroom. The longer he sat there the more things kept running through his mind. She was going to use him to eventually leave, like everyone else did.

He stood walking toward her room, if she thought that she could do that he would return her home and be done with all of this. He was not about to lay his heart at her feet only for her to stomp on it.

Hermione jumped when the door slammed open, she looked up to see Severus standing in the door way, she wiped at her eyes.

Severus stared at her for several moments not really knowing what to say. Finally he found his voice,

"If you don't want to be here, I can arrange for you to return home."

"What?" Hermione was shocked, wondering what the hell brought this on.

"I will not be used to gain what you desire."

"Severus what in the hell are you talking about?"

He walked further into her room before saying,

"You're so sure that I will throw you out again."

"No I'm not."

"And now you lie, I heard you talking to Minerva."

So that was what this was all about.

"Severus." She said calmly. "If you had not taken what you heard and come down here to drown in a bottle, you might have found out what I meant. I had intended to come talk to you, but I refuse to play this game. Your drunk, I don't want nor do I have to deal with you when you're like this. So just take your ass back in there and drown whatever it is you feeling in that damn bottle and later when your sober I will talk to you."

"How dare you talk to me like that." He hissed at her.

"Because I will not be intimidated by you. Or is this all just a lie? A game to see how much more damage you can do to me, what do you want the end to be Severus?"

"I use to think I wanted you, now I'm not so sure if all your doing is playing with me. Some sort of revenge for making your life a hell?"

"No, I'm not playing a game Severus."

"Then what the hell was that I heard."

"Fear Severus, a very real fear. Maybe I'm jaded, but I know learned a lesson well."

"What's that mean?"

Hermione stood going to the bathroom bringing back a sober up potion holding it out to him she said,

"If you really want to talk about this right now you are going to have to be sober."

He snatched the bottle out of her hand downing it, within moments he felt the fog over his brain lift. He looked at Hermione who said,

"Sit." Pointing to the chair in her room. Once he took the chair she said…


Author's Note: Comments really do make me smile and brighten my day.

Also I wanted to let you know that I have a couple of Severus/Hermione videos on youtube, the link is in my profile.