A/N: We went through a lot, Theresa. Here's looking at you, Kid.


What I Learned at SRU
Chapter 54 – For Good


- November, 2010 -

Toph's fingers were crawling over the ivories. Not dancing. She kept slipping on incorrect notes, losing her home keys, urgh. She slashed her hands across the piano in aggravation, then reached for her thermos on the floor to her left, beside the seat. She twisted the cap open and slurped down some of the hot cocoa that Katara had made. Fff. Like she couldn't make any herself. But whatever. Katara had to be a maid and mother and make sure everything was prim and proper, right? Maybe that was better than Toph's own mother. Stupid bitch, always telling her what to do and acting like she was a retard. Grah. Well, soon enough, she'd have to face them, and they were gonna get a few earfuls. She'd show them for-
Knock. Knock.

The soundproof door to Toph's practice room clicked open and she frowned. Who the hell was bothering her while she was practicing?

"Who is it? Whaddya want?"

"Hey, Toph."

"Douglas?"

Toph's musical neighbor, Douglas was a young man who played violin in the next room over. They'd strike up small talk on occasion while taking breaks from their work, but she had never paid him much heed, and as far as she knew, he had never paid her any, either.

"Just thought I'd come and check in on you," Douglas timidly explained. "You seemed...kinda upset out earlier.

"Oh...Well, yea. I am," Toph bluntly acknowledged. "Don't worry about it."

"Why don't we both relax for a bit, rest our hands?"

"Um...Yeeaa. I'm a little busy, man. Don't really have time."

"O-OK. Sure. So...See ya later, then. Good luck."

"Mm-hm. You, too."


"~I wanna hold your hand~"

Toph strummed the final chord, and the room burst into applause. Her insides torn, her eyes threatening to drip from the unknown mysteries that were worming their way out against her will, she raised her hands to express acceptance of their praise, slung her guitar over her back, and carefully wandered off stage as the smattering died down. She fumbled for her walking stick, thankfully right where she had left it, and briskly found her way out of the Jasmine Dragon.

"Wow," muttered a short blonde boy, scratching his head, staring at her as she passed through the glass double doors and up the stairs. "Pipsqueak, didn't she seem familiar to you?"

"Uh..." Pipsqueak ran his hand across his rough black hair. "Hm. Yea, The Duke. Sure looks familiar to me. Isn't she one of those people from Smellerbee's gang?"

"Right! Yes, of course...And she was in the band at FestivALL, as well..."

"Toph Beifong, right?" came the voice of Jin, the clerk behind the counter who was preparing The Duke's drink. "Yep, that was her all right."

"She's st-...Just...It's stunning-" The Duke murmured, impressed, "-how well she can perform without any sense of sight."

"You're telling me," Jin agreed, drizzling whipped topping onto the beverage. "She comes here every Thursday Night for Open Mic, and every time she plays...it's like she's really just pouring her soul into it, ya know?"

"Yea," confirmed Pipsqueak. "She seemed real sad..."

"She did," Jin lamented with a shrug, passing The Duke's freshly brewed drink. "I live across the hall from her, and her and her roommate have been arguing a lot lately. From what my roommate tells me, that girl's got a lot on her plate."

"Well, she's a talented musician," observed the blond boy, straightening his tie as he stepped aside and let Pipsqueak take his order.

Jin smiled and bobbed her head to the side thoughtfully. "They say good music comes from the heart."

"Hm." The Duke tapped his chin thoughtfully, his mind glued to the image of the beautiful Asian girl and her guitar. "So it does..."

Later that evening, at the music building, where his nickname and association with his club were shed, Douglas focused on some Music Theory homework in the carpeted hallway until he was pulled from his task by the elegance of blind stumbling that was Toph Beifong, coming out of her practice room.

"Hi, Toph," he greeted with a sheepish wave, only to feel like a fool for doing so.

"Uhh...Hi," mumbled Toph. From his position on the floor against the wall to her side, he couldn't see her face – which was pointed straight ahead. Black hair was flopped over her eyes, the rest bound into a ponytail. Her face was sweaty and her expression worn. After a moment of silence in which Douglas admired her hair, she spat with impatience, "Ya need somethin'?"

"Oh. I, um...couldn't help but notice that you seem very stressed this week."

Toph snorted out a sigh through her nose.

"Somethin' like that..."

"Y-you know, I heard you earlier tonight. At the coffee shop."

Douglas felt a butterfly in his stomach when he saw her cheeks light up at this comment. He lathered on some praise to sweeten the deal.

"It was really beautiful. I've never seen you play like that."

"Ah...Uhh..." Her grip on the cane tightened. "Heh...Y-yea, that's...just this stupid shit I do." Her empty hand found its way up to her ear and she twirled a lock of hair. "Ya know. When I'm bored. And stuff."

"Stupid? Don't say that, it's...it's really nice. Like a different side of you."

"Was it really that weird?"

"In a good way. Yea...It was."

Toph bit her lip and removed her finger from her hair.

"Uh...Well, thanks, Doug."

"Yea, you're welcome."

"Anyway..." Toph tapped her stick on the carpet twice and scratched an itch on her arm. "It's kinda late, so I'm headin' to bed."

"Sure. Good seeing you, Toph."

"Yea...Later."

"Good night!"


- December, 2010 -

Douglas studied his music sheet with care. His internal debate as to whether to add notes to his arrangement was interrupted when a quite flustered-looking Toph Beifong stomped her way up the stairwell and onto their floor.

"Toph! Hey..."

"Hmph," snorted Toph, her expression sour as a lemon as she marched straight past him. She felt her cane along the corner of the wall, then wandered around to the door of her own practice room.

"Toph? Whoa, wait up..." Douglas dropped his clipboard to the floor and scrambled to his feet, flying off in pursuit. He caught up to Toph as she pushed her door closed, attempting to slam it in vain, but its mechanisms caused it to slow down before shutting, allowing Douglas space to wedge himself in. "H-hey, Toph...What...-?"

"Leave me alone." Toph whipped her walking cane into the corner of the room to the right of the piano and rushed to shove off her winter boots. Douglas watched her fuss about, finding himself aroused by her aggression. As she finally managed to kick her boots to the floor, Douglas spoke up.

"What's...wrong?"

"I said 'leave me alone.'"

"Wh-whoa, hey!" Douglas flinched at her snapping. "I didn't mean...-"

Toph whirled her head around, her face damp, bangs sticky from tears. The familiar butterfly began its fluttering within Douglas.

"Do you think I'm in the mood for your fucking smalltalk today?" snarled Toph, eyes white like the moon – a moon on fire, its glow veiled by a jungle of black vines.

"N-not at all, Toph. I...-" Douglas stuffed his hand in his pocket, somewhat relieved that at least she couldn't see the bulge forming inside his tight slacks. "I'm sorry..."

"Whatever," she grunted, turned back to her piano. "Get out..."

Douglas swallowed his fear and remained for a moment, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"What happened? I've never seen you like this..."

Toph mashed a hand onto the keyboard, creating an undesirable sound.

"I had a falling out with my parents, and my pussy-ass boyfriend just got into a fight with me, all right?" She unzipped her winter coat and chucked it with her other things. "Fuckin' happy, now? God...Pryin' into my business..."

"Wow, I-I'm sorry, Toph...I had no idea things were so rough...Is there...-" He gulped again, trying to keep back his nervousness. "-...anything I can do to help?"

Toph groaned in frustration, digging her fingers into the back of her scalp, her hair hung down and messy.

"The hell are you gonna do to...-?" Toph grumbled but trailed off with a sigh. Douglas was apparently impervious to her traditional tactics of scaring people off. This was problematic, and was only getting her more angry, so she decided to switch gears. "Ya know what? Fine. You really wanna help? My back's a god damned mess. Work out the knots. That would help. Otherwise, get out."

Was she...serious? Douglas had to swallow yet again, clawing at the back of his neck at the prospect of touching this seductive creature. In a flash, he concluded it was worth the risk and walked to her seat at the piano, reaching his hands out and carefully moving her thick hair so it hung across a shoulder, out of the way. She snorted out a laugh, seemingly surprised by his boldness as he dug his fingers into her fleshy back. She flinched at first from surprise, her muscles tightened.

"H-hey, you...gotta relax or else it's pointless," Douglas pointed out, pressing his thumbs into the lumps stuck beneath her shoulder-blades. Whoa, she wasn't kidding: her back really was a mess...She grunted and groaned at each motion, twitching in pain.

"Fuckin' serious?" she mumbled, teeth grit as Douglas worked to smooth things out. She gripped the back of her seat to maintain her position, letting her head hang down. "You just...urgh...pass out massages to girls, or something?"

"W-well, I was...just wanting to help you..." Douglas could sense her unease and stopped. "If...you don't want me to, I'll just...-"
"No, no, it's...-" Toph sighed. "That was helping. Keep goin'."

"Shhure...Yea, all right." Douglas felt warm and tingly all around, now considering whether or not this was appropriate. Then again, she seemed all right with it...and he had already started. It'd be rude to stop at this point. Not that he wanted to stop...

"Sooo-...Ah, fuck, that one hurts..."

"Right here?"

"Ow. Ow...Agh...Yea. Right there. Shit, what did I do to myself...?"

"Maybe just...sleeping on it wrong?"

"Prolly...Ulgh. Gah..."

Douglas had to be careful with his hands, which were beginning to get a bit shaky at her heavy breathing. She spoke with pauses inbetween his motions, her speech numbed by the pain.

"You seemed...pretty quick to...get your hands...on me, there...Bucko..."

"Heh...It's-...I mean, I'm pretty good at back massages, is all."

"That...a fact?"

"Yea, my mother...she does this for a living..."

"Ahaaaaah...Ow...No wonder..."

"You really need to take better care of your back, Toph..."

"Pff..."

"I'm serious."

Douglas found his way to the ends of her ribcage, taunting himself with the edges of fatty tissue that lingered nearby. Toph's whole body tightened up and she sucked in air.

"Shit...The fuck...?"

Douglas tread carefully. Definitely some knots here, too...Those he wouldn't be able to work out.

"Wow...Your...umm...It's real bad here."

"Damn. No kidding," Toph whimpered.

"Well...I can't really help there, so...-"

"Shoulders."

"Mm?"

"The shoulders, man...up."

"Here?"

"Higher...Higher. Ohhh, ow. Y-yea, right there...It's...-"

"Oh, ouch, that...feels pretty bad, too..."

"See what I mean? Gah..."

"You sound like you're feeling a little better, though. Kind of ironic given how much this hurts, huh?"

"Heh...It is helping...Never thought you'd...actually do it..."

"Wouldn't have asked if I could help if I didn't mean it."

"I see that now."

"So...What exactly is going on? Like...you mentioned your parents...?"

"Christ. Shit hit the fuckin' fan..."

"I'm all ears."

"Tch. If you wanna hear me bitch, well...that's your call."

-break-

Knock. Knock-knock-knock.

The door behind him opened. He paused from his violin playing and was pleasantly surprised to see Toph Beifong in all of her beauty slouching against the doorway.

"Doug? That you in here?"

"Hey, Toph!"

"Hey..." She was somber today, but...not hostile like the last time they had seen each other a couple of days prior.

"Everything OK? How's your back?"

"Oh, uhh...Back's better...Yea."

"Aaaand...everything else?"

"Meh. Not so much..." Toph came right in, poking her cane out and working her way around Douglas' boots and sitting against the wall. She was wearing a pair of tattered jeans with barefeet, a black tanktop on. Quite curious clothing to be wearing at this colder time of year, but...Douglas couldn't complain, allowing himself room to ogle a bit.

"What's going on?"

"Fuckin' school. Stupid crap, I'm so sick of this. Can't wait until break."

"Yea...I know what you mean. I'm having a lot of trouble on my-"
"My boyfriend and I are over."

A lump formed in Douglas' throat and he contained it enough without needing to cough.

"O-Oh...I...Really? Wh...-?"

"I'm so fuckin' done. He's such a pussy. I can't take it. Trying to lecture me about my own family. The hell does he know? He never had to deal with hyper-protective parents, anyway!"

"Hm..."

"It's like I'm some gross mangy animal to him, he won't let me touch him, and...Argh. Fuck." She thumped her foot on the carpet in anguish.

"No way. You're...I mean, you're beautiful, Toph, I'm sure it's not that he doesn't think-"
"Ha. 'Beautiful.' Like that word means anything to me," she cut him off, huffing out a gust of air that tussled around her bangs. "We've been dating for almost a year now, and the most we've done is dry-hump."

Douglas was beginning to be swiftly caught up in that warm, tingly sensation again as she twirled at her hair.

"I mean, christ! While he's dickin' around – I mean, the opposite of dicking around, really, because he's so fuckin' sensitive about it – I'm...-" Her fists were balled up in frustration. "Girl's got fuckin' needs, ya know?"

"Yea. Yea, definitely..."

"I'm so sick of getting' my chain jerked around. Like some stupid horse chasing a carrot on a stick, or whatever."

"Makes sense..."

"And it's, like...He's amazing. Seriously. I mean...I've never met another guy like him, much less dated. Right? But good God, why does he have to be so chicken-shit about stuff?"

"Sounds annoying."

"I know! Ugh, it is. Months and months of this bull. And he's always needing to talk about our feelings, like that fuckin' matters. I don't wanna talk, I wanna...touch. And...and feel a real connection."

"I know the feeling..."

"So...Ya know what? I'm done with him. Fuck it." She sniffed. Douglas' eyes, which had been suffering difficulty in focusing on her veiled face and roamed elsewhere, finally observed that she was crying a bit. "Me and him, we're over." She wiped her nose with her wrist and groaned.

"You OK?" Douglas went to her side.

"No," Toph honestly replied.

"Hey, things are...W-well, they'll be OK."

"Yea, right...I'm a fuckin' wrecking ball, Doug. You don't get it. I destroy every damned thing I ever care about..."

"Whoa, whoa...Don't say stuff like that." Douglas put his hand on her shoulder, noticing her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"What's it matter to you, anyway?" she grumbled.

"Am I not allowed to care?" Douglas retorted, his blood boiling at the intimacy of this moment.

Toph felt light-headed, her heart-rate elevated at their proximity. Her insides burned with tension built up over the past month, bottled inside without release. This guy was into her. That much was painfully obvious at this point. Based on their interaction earlier, she could tell that his hands were at least pretty functional. Besides, she'd made up her mind – she was breaking things off with stupid Twinkle-Toes, anyway. That relationship was dead in the water at this point.

Fuck it. A girl's got needs.

She clutched his wrist and pressed his palm against her breast. His other hand instantly took hold of the other, and she craned her neck forth, lips puckered. He reciprocated.

Minutes passed.

By the time Toph's consciousness had caught up with her body's impulses, she was shirtless, leaning over her colleague, her palms against his meager pectorals, his hands hugging her buttocks, her bra slipping at the abrasion.

Whoa, holy shit. What? OK, OK...Still wearing pants. Hands hadn't touched the inside of anything she was still wearing...That was...Well, it was better than being butt naked. Oh, but christ, did her body want to be. In the heat of this particular moment, her mind was barely able to overcome the chemicals swirling around to remind itself that her satisfaction had little to do with any particular trait that this young man possessed other than his own mutual desire for physicality. He seemed timid, scrawny, like the very boy her heart still clung to, and yet he reached out and took her back. Rather reckless. Reckless, it seemed, was what she needed right now.

But as she could feel her loins swell, she drew a quick breath and rolled off, bumping her head against the wall and curling up in recoil.

They both huffed for a few moments, neither having any idea of how to react to this turn of events.

Toph suddenly found herself swimming in a flood of guilt and relief - a muddy, confusing mess. It made her all the more angry, and yet it offered sweet release at once. She was torn, facing the truth that while this only made her realize her love for Aang all the more, it also satisfied a desire – no, a need – that she did not have the patience to wait for Aang to fulfill.


- Friday, December 17th, 2010 - Last day of the semester

"I can't believe this. This whole time, Toph? Really?"

Toph's insides were churning, guilt compounded over guilt.

"N-no, Dougie, it's...more complicated than that, I-"
"You lied to me, Toph! You said...You said you and your boyfriend were done!"

Shit. Shit-shit-fuck-argh. How did he find out?

"I know! I know!" she snapped back, stepping backward and bumping into the wall.

"Wow. You just...Really? Just...I don't even know what to say..."

"I'm sorry, Dougie, I just-...We've been...really enjoying each other's company, and I-"
"No! We haven't! We've been...enjoying each other's...-" He groaned. "What we've been doing all month? That's not company, it's...-"
"I know this seems bad, but...but come on," she pleaded at his anger. "We've been...having some fun...I-I mean, that's...all it was, right?"

"Maybe to you, but...but this stuff is kinda new to me, Toph. I really liked you..."

Uh-oh. 'Liked.' That was a past-term word.

"I was...confused, Dougie. Things...turned out to be more complicated than they used to be. B-but I mean, like...Is it really that bad? We're...both people here. Not kids, right?"

"You're trying to justify it?"

"I'm just saying! It's...a natural part of being human, I don't see why we can't...let the past be the past."

"Are you...listening to what you're saying, or are you just spewing this stuff out?"

Ugh. Why are words coming out of my mouth? I'm such an idiot.

In this moment, Toph was able to step outside of herself and acknowledge her selfish impulses. She recognized that she was merely making up excuses – the excuses she'd been letting her conscience lean on over this month to let herself feel OK with her own actions. She'd been using Douglas as a vessel to relieve her sexual tension. She'd been using Aang as a wall to hurl her frustrations upon.

Toph dug her fingers into her scalp and took a deep breath.

"Dougie. I'm sorry. I fucked up. OK? I get that."

"W-well...Good. Because...you did."

"But it's not like you haven't been enjoying it."

"Stop it...Please..."

"Come on, you're not innocent in all this yourself."

"Y-you're right. I'm not." He cleared his throat. "We have to tell him."

"What?"

"Your boyfriend. He has to know about this."

"W-wait a sec, here...I don't think...that's such a good idea."

"You don't...seem to be the best person at having good ideas," Douglas eked out through his timidness.

Toph frowned at his remark.

"Whatever..."

"He's your boyfriend, so...I think it'd be best if you told him."

Toph's lip fell open in appalled irritation.

"Nuh-uh. No fuckin' way. I'm not doin' it."

"Are you serious?"

"Why does he need to know? We're on thin ice as it is..."

"I guess you don't really love him if you can't be honest with him, then. Huh?"

Toph groaned at his accusation. Inside, she was seriously contemplating its potential truth, while he went on.

"You cheat on him, and then now you're going to hide it?"

"All it'll do is make things worse, Dougie. You wouldn't get it."

"Worse? They must be bad enough where you need to...look for someone else to make you happy...I don't see how it can get worse than that..."

Toph slammed the back of her head against the practice room wall twice, arms dug deep into her hoodie's waist pocket.

"Fine. Made your fuckin' point. Happy now?"

"Do you do this to him, too?"

"Huh?"

"When he points out that you're being immature...do you just...snap at him like this?"

Toph's face was hot with embarrassment at this situation already, but having Douglas rub in her face this matter that she had recently become acutely aware of was...rather difficult to deal with. She couldn't bring herself to give the honest answer - "yes" - but she had lost her edge in the discussion, unable to continue lying to this kid who could see right through it by now.

"Toph..." Douglas placed his hands on her shoulders, squeezing with his thumbs. "You're...a beautiful girl. And...when you're not being...so grouchy...I really like being with you. But...this isn't right. Maybe your boyfriend can...stay with someone who lies, and...freaks out. And makes excuses. But I can't. I'm sorry. We can't spend time like this anymore."

Toph's eyes were trickling out drops now. The past couple of weeks had been long, rough, and crazy. She'd been investing a lot of time into this kid, ignoring her other friends...Ignoring the guilt it was causing. He'd been filling a gap in her life that, left unfilled, had been making her rather irate. And now he was cutting himself out.

What if Aang did that, too?

"B-but...we can still...spend time...right?"

"I'm...I don't know, Toph. Not for a while...Your boyfriend needs to know about this..."

Toph grunted in despair at his resolute decision.

"No, he doesn't."

"He does. And if you don't tell him...I will."

"Fine," Toph spat, brushing at her wet eyes. "Do what you want."

"I'm sorry, Toph," Douglas apologized with a firm tone. "I didn't intend to...make things so awkward."

"Yea? Well...Way to fuckin' go, Dougie."

"We both did a great job messing things up. You can...stay dirty if you want, but...I can't do this."

With that, Douglas exited the practice room, leaving Toph to wade in her muddy bath of regrets.


- January, 2010 -

"Y-yea, and, so...-" Aang swallowed, light-headed and anxious. "Wh...what do you think?"

Toph sat across, elbows on the table, her cheeks patiently in her palms. She was smirking, her face pink.

"I think that's kind of sweet," she complimented. "But I already knew you felt that way."

"Wh-? You...did? How did you know...?"

"Heh. You haven't exactly been subtle lately, ya Weirdo. But...Katara told me."

"She did?"

"I asked."

"You already knew I liked you?"

"Yuhp."

"But...Why you'd have me...tell you like this, then?"

"Pff. Duh. 'Cuz I wanted to see if ya had the balls to do it."

"But if...you liked me, and you knew I liked you...how come I had to be all...nervous and confess?"

"Women like to see confidence in a guy."

"Why do girls always say that?"

"'Cuz. It's true."

"Confidence isn't all that counts..."

"Hm. I dunno. It isfor a lot of girls."

"That's...kind of dumb. I think bravery is more important. And...and, like, being kind. And humble. And...things like that."

"Tch. Oh, really? How's that? Braveness is the same thing as confidence."

"No way – being brave being standing up even when you aren't confident. When you're scared."

"Like you did just now. To me."

"Uhh...Y-yea, I guess so...But...I think it's more important to be kind to people than...confident about yourself."

"...Go on," Toph eased, leaning back in her booth and listening carefully.

"W-well, it seems like girls are always looking for guys who are 'confident,' and whatever, but...a lot of guys who think highly about themselves, they tend to be the kinds who think lowly of others. You know?"

"Hm..."

"Even if that's not true, it's...just that I think there's something to be said about being humble."

"Heh."

"...What?"

"See, you're confident in your own beliefs. I've known that from the day we met."

"...You think so?"

"You and me, we're alike in that way – once we set our mind to something, we stick to it. You just...stick to things like...being nice and polite, and junk."

"And you're a meanie who pushes people around. Like you did just now."

"Whaaaa? How am I a meanie here? Huh? Tell me that."

"What, are you kidding? You just...had me be all awkward and...and confess that I liked you when you already knew. You didn't have to deal with the nervousness. That's...like cheating," Aang pouted with a chuckle.

"Ha. That's my style, dude. If you wanna dance with me, you've better learn to let me lead."

"What does that mean?"

"It means...Let's do it."

"Date?"

"Why not?"

Aang's stomach was queasy but his mind was at ease. Toph stretched her arms across the table, palms up.

"Gimme." She wiggled her fingers inward, grasping for his own. He sheepishly placed his hands within hers, and she gripped them tightly for a moment before running her pudgy fingertips all along his wrists, feeling them out. "Hm. You have good hands," she decided. "That's a relief."

"Heh...That's...great to hear...?"

"Your hands are dry...but also soft. Kind of girly hands. My last boyfriend had, like...beefy, sweaty hands."

"Oh..." Aang let out a confused laugh. "I see..."

"So, yea. Good hands. Great job on that one."

"Thanks..."

"Well." Toph was still rubbing her hands over his. "That was simple enough. This whole...deciding-to-date thing."

"Heh...M-maybe for you..."

"Meh. You need to not make things so complicated. You pick that up from Miss Sugar-Queen or something?"

"What...?"

"Katara. The prim-n'-proper one?"

"O-oh, I...Not really. It's just...kind of a big deal to me, so I...thought really hard on it."

"What's to think about?"

"It's-...Well, this is my first time, and all..."

"Awww, Aangy-Wangy's never had a girlfriend? For serious?"

"Yes, for serious."

"No way. You're like...eighteen? And you've never dated anyone?"

"No..." Aang restated with an extra layer of self-conscious shame.

"That's about to change. C'mere..." She slid her hands up his arms as far as she could, gently tugging him to lean across the table. Aang glanced around. The cafeteria was empty, only a few lights still turned on.

"Wh...-?"

"If we're gonna start dating, doncha wanna start kissing?" Toph teased.

"Oh...Y-yea, I do, but...I-I'm not sure right now is such a good time..."

A brow raised on Toph's face and slipped her grip back to his hands.

"Oh. You...sure?"

"Ih-it's not you!" Aang hastily assured, swiping his thumbs over her wrists to reciprocate. "I need some time, is all. To...get used to you...? I-I mean, you're really cute, and...everything."

"Pff. Well, you're as good-looking as anyone else I've dated," Toph snickered. "So I'm set."

"You're set?"

"Yup. I think I'm good. We wouldn't wanna take your training wheels off too fast, Weirdo..."

"I'm just the type who...needs to take it slow."

"Fair enough. But c'mon, we gotta do something here. Ruinin' the moment, man. Mind if I feel you up a bit, at least?"

"Huh?"

"Your face, Dork."

"Oh. Ha...Yea...I guess?" Aang tilted his head across the gap and planted her hands over his cheeks. She slowly ran her palms – calloused and rough – along his lean head, through his short hair, and grabbed at his ear lobes.

"Hell-oh," she called with an impressed whistle. "What big ears you have."

"All the better to...er...listen to you...talk loud...with...?"

"Ho-ho. Picking on me, eh? You're catching on quick to how this works." She softly slapped him on the face with affection and pinched his cheek. "I'll teach you everything you'll need to know about having a girlfriend, Aang."

"Sounds like an adventure, Toph." Aang removed the fingers that had been stretching his face and landed a gentleman's kiss just above her knuckles.

"Aw, gee. How sweet." Toph's tongue popped out and blew a raspberry. "I'm gonna have to shake this nobleman's nonsense from you, Weirdo."


- Friday, January 19th, 2011 -

[From: Jane]
[you told her yet?]
[Sent: 6:03pm]

[Reply]
[To: Jane]
[no...-_- not yet. soon.]
[Sent: 6:04pm]

[From: Sokka]
[So. How'd it go?]
[Sent: 6:10pm]

[Reply]
[To: Sokka]
[hasnt happened. still waitin.]
[Sent: 6:11pm]

[From: Katara]
[All right, it's sent. Good luck, Hun. ~hug~]
[Sent: 6:34pm]

[Reply]
[To: Katara]
[thanks..]
[Sent: 6:34pm]

Aang observed the time, then observed Toph beside him, slurping away at pistachio pudding.

"So, uh...-" Aang's voice was cracking, his throat full of junk. He was still a bit ill, so he cleared his throat with a cough. "Wanna head up to your room after you're done?"

Toph licked her lips and a light but audible burp popped out.

"Sure," she replied with no preference.

The walk to Aqua was nerve-wracking, Aang's mind swirling with all kinds of lamentable thoughts. Toph's arm was wrapped around his waist, her other hand inside his pocket, clasping his hand as she relied on him to guide her.

Would this be the last time they walked, side-by-side, in this particular way?

"You all right, Twinkle-Toes?"

"Yea, I'm...kinda tired."

"Still catchin' up on sleep from this past week, is that is?"

"I guess so..."

"You were pretty damned loopy for a while there. Not acting like yourself."

"I bet...I haven't felt like myself lately..."

"You'll get better soon. Just have to get all that shit outta your head, ya know?"

Aang sniffled and coughed, his throat sore.

"Yea..."

They discussed some of the bizarre facets of the dreams Aang had been experiencing – without any of the parts involving embarrassing bits, naturally – until they got back to Toph and Katara's room. Toph threw herself onto her bed, rubbing her full, tender stomach.

"So, um...-" Aang began, his voice hardly a whisper as he sat in the chair to Toph's desk, turning it to face the bed.

"Hey, you wanna listen to some of those videos I did I haven't shown you yet?"

"Oh, your...your YouTube stuff...?"

"Yea, Meng put up some more for me. Go run a search."

"Yea, sure..."

Aang's expression winced at his own lack of assertion, but it couldn't hurt to humor her a bit.

[YouTube]
[The_Blind_Bandit's Channel - … ]

[Name: Toph Beifong]
[Channel Views: 4,621]
[Total Upload Views: 15,369]
[Age: 20]
[Joined: November 25th, 2010]
[Latest Activity: 1 day ago]
[Subscribers: 547]
[About Me: I will cut your face off with AWESOME!]
[Hometown: Wayward, PA]
[Country: United States]
[Occupation: Singer and Song Writer]
[Music: The Beatles, Christina Perri, P!nk]
[Schools: Saint Roku University]

"Wow, you've got...a decent following so far, huh?"

"Hell yea, I do. The Blind Bandit is stealing hearts. Heheh."

Like how you stole that other boy's heart? And mine?

Aang tried to let his itching aggravation go as he scrolled along through Toph's page.

"Which ones haven't you seen yet?" she inquired.

"I, uh...None. I'm all caught up."

"Wha? No way."

"You had me look this up last week."

"Aren't there some new ones?"

"Er...Nah, I don't...see any, I mean-"
"You're probably not looking right."

"Wh...-?"

"Meng put up a couple new ones just yesterday. She told me."

"You sure? Maybe they're just not up yet..."

"Ugh, nevermind. Just...play something."

"Huh?"

"Anything. Just...pick one, I don't care."

Aang's head was trickling with sweat, his intestines burning with anxiety.

"A-actually, there was a song I wanted to show you..."

"OK...?"

"B-but before that, I um...I needed to talk with you."

"About what?" Toph's expression flashed with impatience as Aang took a deep breath.

"Well...Um..." He sputtered a cough and wiped at his sandy eyes. "It's...it's about us..."

He lifted himself from his chair and planted his knees at the side of Toph's bed as she rolled onto her side to be closer to him. He watched as her keen face absorbed his doubt.

"You want to break up," she acknowledged simply, her brows furrowed with a deep-thinking, solemn face she did not often wear.

"Yea," Aang squeaked out. It was both relieving and confusing that she knew. His gut reaction that was she knew because she herself was thinking it. They both had, for some time, neither brave enough to confront the idea openly until this moment.

Toph's melancholic but rational expression was veiled in black bangs, which she suddenly brushed aside, tucking behind an ear. This conveyed to Aang that her pale eyes were watering up, her eyebrows suddenly arcing with pain.

"No," she whispered with disapproval. She reached out her hands, pawing at Aang's head by accident but working her way around. He pulled up his own hands to grasp hers, and she squeezed tightly. "We can't do that," Toph whispered with an alarming desperation Aang had never seen her display.

"But...but we're just not working," Aang pointed out, his own eyes filling up.

"Sh-sure we are," Toph tried to convince him in futility. "I know it's been rough, Babe, but...I'm trying, we...can still make this happen..." She was struggling – and failing – to hold back sobs.

Aang squinted his eyes shut for a moment, having difficulty coping with the sight of her anguish, her fingers trembling around his wrists.

"We did try, Toph...We did."

"We can just...quit..."

"It's not...quitting when...you've already lost," Aang sighed with a choking cough to match her sobs.

"No, no, no..." Toph whimpered, detaching her grip fumbling upward to envelope his face with her palms. She leaned her head off the bed, kissing him on the lips with a furious misery. Aang had to push past his impulses and break their kiss apart prematurely.

"I'm sorry, Toph...I'm really sorry..."

"I can't lose you, Twinkle-Toes," Toph gasped out. "Not you..."

"You're not," Aang insisted. "You're not losing me, I-I'm not going anywhere..."

"But...But we're breaking up...?"

"That...doesn't mean have to lose each other..."

"Oh..." Toph breathed out shakily, blinking wildly to shake tears down her cheeks. "I guess that's...I-I mean, are you sure we can...do that...?"

"Why can't we do that?" Aang rhetorically pondered.

"Won't it be...super awkward?"

"I don't know," Aang confessed. "Probably...? For a while, anyway..."

"I-I guess...we'd eventually be OK with it. People do break up...all the time...and stuff..."

"I don't want to lose you, either, Toph. I don't want to have to let go. But...we just need to...change how this all works..."

"It's not as easy as...flipping a fucking switch, Twinkles..."

"I know, I know! It'll...be a process, but we have to not let ourselves slip back into things..."

"Huh?"

"We have to...agree to break things off. Otherwise we'll just be...stuck in this. What we've been stuck in."

"Oh. Right. Yea, that's...fine. Let's do that. We'll...make it a clean break. I guess...?"

"It'll be OK. Our friends won't just...let us not be friends anymore."

"Pff...Especially not Katara."

"Ha...Especially her."

Toph was readjusting her position, now sitting upright. Aang got back up in the chair and the two sat, face-to-face, and grabbed each other's hands again.

"I'm still your friend, Toph. I'm always going to be your friend."

Toph inhaled wide and puffed out, her tears calming as she swiped them off her face with her sleeve.

"Yea..." she sighed out with a tiny smile of ease and wrapped her arms around her stomach, unsure of what to do with her hands.

"So...I guess that...settles that, then," concluded Aang with some bewilderment. Weeks agonizing over this and it was all settled in a matter of a couple minutes.

"Guess it does..."

"I, um...-" Aang turned to Toph's computer, having already muted its function read out its text, and logged into his e-mail account. "I ran into a song that...I think you should listen to. It makes me think of us."

"Oh...Right." Toph scratched at her forehead, and her hair came tumbling back across her eyes.

Aang accessed the e-mail Katara had sent him earlier and loaded up the video. When it was ready to start playing, he turned the volume back on and let the music wash over them.

["~I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason~"]

"What makes you so special? Why do you wanna be friends with me, anyway?"

"I don't know. I just do. That isn't good enough for you?"

["~Bringing something we must learn~"]
["~And we are led to those who help us most to grow~"]

The mysterious girl at the piano, her attitude pulling him toward him for reasons he couldn't understand.
The strange, sensitive boy who wouldn't leave her alone. And she didn't want him to, deep down.

["~If we let them, and we help them in return~"]

She learned to let him take care of her - not because she was blind, but because he desired to lessen her frustrations.
He learned to let her ease him into new things - not because he was ignorant, but because she wanted him to have new experiences.

["~Well, I don't know if I believe that's true~"]

Toph had gotten up off the bed and had moved forth to give Aang a hug.

["~But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you~"]

Aang took her and reciprocated. They clung in a long embrace, but one that had a different tone than other hugs they had shared.

["~Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun~"]

A timid boy comes out of his shell to befriend a stubborn musician.

["~Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood~"]

She teaches him to stand up for himself more, to be more assertive.

["~Who can say if I've been changed for the better?~"]

"Just gonna let her keep calling you that, Aang? It's not manly!"

["~But because I knew you...~I have been changed for good~"]

"Shut up, Meat-Head. Twinkles here is just a different kind of man."

["~It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime~"]

His lips against her forehead, comforting her when she is furious.

["~So let me say before we part~So much of me is made of what I learned from you~"]

"Admit it, Toph - some of him's been rubbing off on you."

"Meh. If you say so, Katara." She stuck out her tongue.

["~You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart~"]

Her hand against his chest, assuring him when he is insecure.

["~And now whatever way our stories end~"]

The future: uncertain, clouded in fog.

["~I know you have re-written mine by being my friend~"]

A year later, two different people than they were before.

["~Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea~"]

A lonely girl is pulled from her self-doubts and isolation by an enthusiastic boy.

["~Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood~"]

He plants truth and love in her heart, teaching her to accept others.

["~Who can say if I've been changed for the better?~"]

Two unhappy, stressed-out friends, struggling to repair what is broken.

["~But because I knew you~"]
["~Because I knew you~"]

They rely on each other, they hurt each other, they hold each other.

["~I have been changed for good~"]

Through their challenges, they learn more about who they really are.

["~And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for~"]

"I'm sorry," Toph whispered, lip quivering. "I know I hurt you...I fucking hate myself for it..."

["~But then, I guess we know there's blame to share~"]

"It's OK," Aang replied shakily. "We've been in this together. I messed things up, too..."

["~And none of it seems to matter anymore~"]

They were both in tears once again, the song stirring up memories and confusion and pain.

["~Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun~"]
["~Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea~"]

They sway slowly, holding each other tight. Neither wants to let go, but they know they need to.

["~Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood~"]
["~Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood~"]

Love remains. Beneath the layers of romance, a love still burns - a different kind of love they did not expect.
They grasp it tight.

["~Who can say if I've been changed for the better?~"]
["~(I do believe I have been changed for the better)~"]

Tears. Trembling breath. Shaking hands.

["~And because I knew you...~"]
["~Because I knew you...~"]

They let go.

["~Because I knew you...~"]

"I'll always be here for you, Toph."

["~I have been changed...~"]

"I know you will, Twin-...Aang. I will be, too."

["~...for good~"]


A/N: Since this relationship has been reflective of my own, I wanted the breakup process to feel similar - you knew it was going to happen, and...the actual breaking up was oddly simple. Now, the after effects of this, well...that's something else entirely. Again, I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter. Unlike much of SRU, this stuff was swirling around in my head since the beginning. Well, there it is. Time to move onward, our characters still have a lot to work through before the schoolyear is over.

Oh, and it's worth pointing out that while my ex did cheat on me for similar reasons to Toph, she was more mature than Toph and actually told me fairly shortly after. Ours was a much longer, more drawn-own process, but I did want to reflect that drawn-out struggle over the past chapters of awkwardness.

"For Good" is from Wicked.
youtube(dot)com/watch?v=IX1LdLv00aA

Special Art made for this chapter:
jinjinbun(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/SRU-For-Good-256198967