CHAPTER FOURTY-SEVEN


"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."

Ayn Rand


There was once a time before Steve, Amelia could remember most of it. It was colder, like an eternal winter, and her world was set in shades of grey. Half of her time was filled with being in pain, and the rest of her time was spent waiting for that pain to come. Amelia had plenty of memories of the dark time, and yet, as she laid in hers and Steve's bed without his usual comfort next to her, the brunette couldn't remember how she ever managed to sleep without him.

She had attempted. Doing her usual routine, hoping that would help her when it came to her actual bed time. She even put on a facemask, something Maria had shown her and Amelia had fallen in love with the way her skin felt afterwards. And just in case that didn't work, she'd dressed herself in the shirt Steve had left her, hoping that being able to smell him would be enough to lull her to sleep. She'd gone to bed that night completely relaxed, and yet the moment her head hit the pillow it was rampaging with thoughts that just wouldn't allow her to sleep. Her legs never seemed to get into a comfortable position and she repeatedly flopped her arms from one location to another, her body feeling lost on the bed without having Steve to curl up next to.

After two hours she gave up, her growing frustration not helping her. Instead, she took the opportunity of Steve's absence to break some of the rules he'd given her. He'd told her not to eat food in bed and not to eat candy after six, so she collected an amalgamation of junk food and got herself comfortable with the giant flat screen television across from the bed, putting on a movie that would remind her of Steve.

Whilst she couldn't lose herself in sleep, she could at least escape through the movie. Mindlessly, she chewed on her food, all attention on the screen as a particularly action-packed scene played out, explosions filling the screen from all directions. And then, with a loud bang, the door to her bedroom flew open.

Amelia was already on the edge of her seat from the battle she was seeing on screen, so when the door to her bedroom suddenly opened, for a fleeting moment the brunette was sure that she'd suddenly entered the battle. She jumped out of the covers of her bed, moving onto the side of the bed away from the doorway whilst also knocking plenty of candy and chips all over the bed. Only, it wasn't an enemy soldier in her doorway, it was just Aaron.

Her eyes widened slightly as they fell back to the bed, the sheets covered in crumbs. She looked back up to Aaron's own gaze, allowing guilt accompanied by a peachy blush to wash over her face. "Please don't tell Steve I ate food in our bed," she begged.

"Mia," Aaron said her name gravely, the mood in the room changing swiftly. The brunette's hands fell to her side and she stood up straighter, only just then becoming able to see the concern on his face. "It's about Steve." Cold washed down her spine. "He's… Mia, he's just gone."

His words didn't make sense to her. Gone? No one's ever just gone. And it was Steve as well, Steve was never gone, no one could make him 'gone' either. Captain America was the guy that made other people gone.

Slowly she made her way around the bed so that she could stand in front of Aaron and truly get a read on his expression. The blond secretary looked sincere, and worried. Though his concern was more for Amelia than it was Steve.

"You're going to have to repeat yourself," Amelia trembled, "and be very careful what you say next. I need specifics Aaron."

"I… I…" He visibly winced, hating himself for stuttering but the pressure Amelia was placing on him had his tongue becoming led in his mouth. He stopped himself, inhaling a long deep breath and watching the brunette warily. Finally, he was seeing the real her. The warrior, the monster, the weapon. The fire. And once faced with it, like a lesser dog facing an omega wolf, he bowed his head slightly. "They're all in the meeting room discussing it." If he could have actually talked to her than he would have told her everything he knew, but he was far too busy being consumed by the night sky in her eyes and he just felt so small when staring into their vastness.

Amelia bit down on her lip harshly, trying to remind herself to remain calm, that she didn't have nearly enough information to start panicking over. That also meant she couldn't get angry at Aaron. He was shy, she had to remind herself, and he'd made a lot of progress that she couldn't willingly ruin.

Nodding her head, she let Aaron know with her a gentle tap on his shoulder that she was grateful for him giving her the information and then she moved around him so she could make her way to the meeting room. She wasn't exactly dressed for a meeting, dressed in one of Steve's buttoned shirts and some joggers with her brown hair placed in an easy bun. The night wardens and agents that were doing late shifts were all dressed appropriately, clean clothes, clean bodies, clean minds. Amelia was a mess though, her heart jamming against her rib cage rampantly as she stumbled her way through the long maze of hallways to the meeting room. She didn't care that every single agent she passed seemed to be looking at her weirdly, all she cared about was Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve.

When she arrived at the meeting room all eyes went to her as she practically crashed into the room. The rest of the Avengers were in there, Tony, Thor, Vision, Sam, Wanda and Nat. Natasha stood the moment Amelia entered, beginning to walk over to her with hands raised whilst the rest seemed surprised and wary by her appearance.

"What's going on, where's Steve?" She was too busy becoming more and more frantic that she didn't notice any of their reactions. Natasha stopped in front of her, the redhead keeping her arms raised whilst remaining at a safe distance away from the brunette. Her hands were raised even higher when Amelia's eyes flitted over to Nat, staying on her for only a second as they sped around the room onto every other face, demanding an answer.

Tony was already stood at the end of the table in their meeting room, hands propped against it, keeping him stood up. "Mia," he phrased her name slowly, prudently, "how did you find out that Steve is missing?"

Missing. Amelia would have preferred gone, gone suggested that he'd just disappeared for a little bit whereas missing implied that no one could find him anywhere. Missing implied there were darker things in play, the very thought making a ringing sound in Amelia's ear worsen. She tried to concentrate on his words, tried to see through the fog of consternation.

How had she found out? Aaron told her. But Amelia realised that she couldn't actually tell them that. They weren't going to tell her. She wasn't supposed to know. A red tinge filled the fog that clouded her mind but she managed to calm it down, having much better control of her rage than she used to as she knew that the rage would only distract her from her biggest priority which was finding Steve.

"I heard an agent talking about it on the way here, I didn't think there was anything to worry about until I found you all here… He's really missing?" Despite the clear concern in her voice they all remained silent after her question, Tony even looked scared and she couldn't understand why.

"Freckles," Natasha said her words softly too, "you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Steve is missing and you guys won't tell me anything!" Amelia stamped her foot harshly on the ground, trying to get her point across to everyone.

Thor was the second person to stand up and approach her, picking up his hammer as he walked over to her. "We'll tell you everything we know as soon as you calm down, your powers-"

"My powers?" Then Amelia saw it, the flash of black surrounding her body and she looked down at her hands, finally becoming aware of the black waves that enveloped them, little lights like stars twinkling amongst the cosmic energy. Confusion, that's the first thing she was hit with. She was aware of her powers acting this way only once before, after the car crash. She'd assumed her powers had gone out of control because she'd been near death, but they were doing the same thing and she was fine. It didn't make sense.

The anxiety within was a moon, pulling her powers in like they were the oceans tide.

She clenched her fists and closed her eyes, doing her best to calm herself down but it was difficult when in the back of her mind she knew that Steve wasn't there.

Steve. Her soldier. She imagined that he was there with her, hands in her hands, blue orbs staring straight at her, filling her up with a calmness.

Amelia told herself that she needed to be calm in order to save him, and her powers eventually agreed. Though she hadn't been aware at first of her overflowing powers, she could at least feel the waves settling. When she opened her eyes again her hands were no longer covered by shade, though black did spark between her fingers.

Her shoulders deflated out of relief and then the brunette gave a more resolute nod over to everyone around her, "okay, I'm calm. Tell me what you know."

The demand she gave was once again ignored by Thor, "maybe this would not be good for your powers though." Never before had she wanted to hit the god with his own hammer before but the effects of their previous talk were still dwelling in her mind and everytime he brought up her powers it felt like another kick to their friendship that had once seemed so strong.

It was strange that even when being faced with her powers losing control, that Amelia still managed to deny what Thor had proposed.

Her eyes snapped to his once he'd finished speaking, sending a stunning glare towards him that brought on the curiosities of everyone else in the room. "No offence Thor," she said his name like it was a curse, "but if you guys don't start talking then I'm not going to stop my powers from kicking your ass-"

"Hey," Natasha interrupted, sliding in front of her friend and putting her hands on the brunette's arm, only to have them be shoved off by a black energy. She could at least understand where her friend was coming from and try to calm her down but it seemed Amelia wasn't willing to listen to anyone.

She only wanted to listen to one thing, and Tony was the only one who realised that. "Steve was sent on a mission," he revealed to her, information she already knew but him actually sharing the information she wanted was enough to gain her attention and calm her down momentarily. "The mission was an easy recon one, there were suspicions of a Hydra base in New York. He went missing three hours ago, we've already sent agents there and there's no sign of a struggle or any clues to be found. We've got everyone working on finding him though."

Amelia looked gratefully at her brother and he just shrugged his shoulders, trying to send her his best supportive smile. He'd gone through it before when Pepper had been kidnapped, and if he had people trying to get in his way like Thor was then he wouldn't have even stopped to threaten the god. Nothing could stop him from getting to Pepper, and he expected nothing less from his sister.

"And that's all you know?" She questioned, her voice still shaking but it was less aggressive.

"Yes, which is why I decided not to tell you yet," Natasha responded for Tony, taking the brunette's glare with ease. Seeing the argument burn within her black orbs Nat rolled her eyes and gestured to the messy woman standing before her, "look at yourself Amelia. You're not thinking clearly, you're emotionally compromised so you'll be of no use on this mission."

"Steve needs me," her voice rose a few octaves once more, but she didn't argue against Natasha's point.

"Yes, he does," the redhead replied calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "He needs you and right now, you're not you. You're angry and worried, and I get that. We're all worried. But we have to go through this the right way or it could end up with Steve getting more hurt. I know you know I'm right."

Amelia shook her head, looking down and laughing. She had to laugh, if she didn't then she'd start crying. "So what?" She asked as she looked back up at the redhead, "you want me to just sit in my room whilst Steve could be in danger?"

"If we find out anything else, I'll tell you," Tony intruded once again but his words were helpful again, she could at least trust him to stick to his word.

They really did just want her to sit in her bedroom and trust them all to save her boyfriend. Whilst she did trust them, the safest hands were her own. Amelia was about to scoff and go on another tirade when her eyes finally drifted over to Wanda who was on the left side of the table, Vision at her side. Amelia had not truly understood the effects her raging powers had had until she saw the fear in the young Maximoff's eyes, a look she never wanted to see in Wanda's eyes.

Without really meaning to, Amelia had adopted an older sister role in Wanda's life, always helping her when she could and always learning off of Wanda as well. Despite their rocky beginnings, the two had bonded. Which is why seeing her so scared had more of an effect than Amelia would have liked.

Sighing, the dark brunette took a step backwards, relinquishing to her partner's whims. "Fine," she mumbled. Amelia was worried about Steve, and if they really did try to stop her from reaching him than she wouldn't think twice before taking them down. But for the moment she'd just have to trust them, they hadn't led her wrongly thus far.

As she left Amelia made sure to slam the door behind her, not caring how petulant it portrayed her, she just needed to make sure they knew how angry she was at their decision to keep her out. A part of her did understand, she was emotionally compromised and not thinking clearly, and it was that not thinking clearly which was making her so furious.

When she made it back to her room, she was surprised to find that Aaron was still waiting outside of her bedroom door. Though it did look like he'd left and retrieved something as there was an envelope in his hand, which was another curious thing as it was almost midnight and mail wouldn't be arriving for a few more hours.

Wanting to be left alone, she walked passed him and made it to the entrance of her room. He stuttered behind her, unable to form proper words and she was about to shut her bedroom door on him when a sense of guilt washed over her like a bucket of ice-cold water atop her volcanic rage. Another sigh passed her lips as she turned back around to face him.

"Thank you," her voice was monotone, not angry or happy, "I know you told me about Steve even though you weren't supposed to, and I really am grateful. However, you need to remember that Tony is your boss. I don't want you getting fired because of me."

The blond secretaries mouth had fallen open. He'd been expecting anything but gratefulness and caringness from the brunette after the way she had been behaving earlier, but it wasn't entirely unwanted. Aaron closed his mouth, he gulped, and in his hands he began to mess slightly with the envelope. A simple 'sorry' didn't seem sufficient because he didn't feel sorry, not one bit.

"You were the first one to smile at me here," he began to say, his voice shaking much like Amelia's had earlier but it was anxiety that quivered him, "not a professional smile or a mocking smile, a genuine smile. You never mentioned my awkwardness or my stutter. Though you didn't have to be, you chose to be kind to me and I'm really grateful for that. It was kind of a confidence booster."

It was Amelia's turn to be blown away, her own mouth opening slightly as her eyes widened a few inches. It hadn't been a choice for her, she'd simply done what Steve had taught her, she hadn't ever expected to receive something like gratitude for it. It felt… weird. The only response she could give him was a shrug of her shoulders and a lame smile, the brunette not really sure how people were meant to respond to such a thank you as it was something Steve had never taught her.

Aaron smiled back, his wider, beaming, and then he held out the envelope to her. "Here," he handed it over to Amelia that looked at it curiously, beginning to open it up. "This arrived on my desk a couple of minutes ago, I'm not sure who put it there but it has your name on it." She pulled from the envelope a folded piece of paper that had attached to it a picture.

Amelia wasn't sure what fell to the floor first, her heart or the piece of paper.

Aaron looked down at it, alarmed by the brunette's reaction. He noticed the photo first as well. It was Captain America on a grey cement floor, unmasked, covered in bruises and burns and there was so much blood it was impossible for all of it to belong to just him.


A/N: So I've just finished planning part three completely and OH MY GOD does this chapter foreshadow the ending so hard, which is hilarious because it was completely accidental. Honestly though I love that sort of stuff. I did english literature at college so analysing stuff is my drug of choice and I always try to write every word purposefully, so after reading through this again after finishing the plan is awesome. I wonder if any of you guys can find the clues and piece it together? Part Three is going to be twenty-one chapters long by the way, a bit longer than I'd aimed for but it's pretty good. Pretty cheesy tbh, I'm hoping I can fix that. I love cheese more than anyone but god damn.

To OfSeashellsandStars, hello again! So glad you liked the 'talk', and yus, I'm trying to avoid puppy Thor because it's my least favourite cliche, I'm aiming more for a 'positive guy even in the face of a lot of bad shit with a heart of gold whose intentions can sometimes get twisted even though they're always pure of heart', bit of a mouthful though so let's just say cinnamin roll?

To AngelElmarlienHenning, you're welcome, here, have another one lol

To Guest, same tho

To Guest no.2, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ON THE FLATTENING THING OKAY that's why I've decided to do part three of my own plot, Age Of Ultron had an effect on my writing that I really didn't like so I'm trying to fix it and find my character again. I think me not really liking AOU didn't help. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I really really hope I can fix this issue, if not, please let me know?

To BrittStar1199, maybe, maybe not. I'll never talk!

To BlueBloodsSVUOrder, I'm glad you're excited but also slightly concerned as the next couple of chapters might not be something to be excited about lol

To Sam0728, nope, part three is all my own plot :) Civil War does get referenced a couple of times though and we do see General whatshisface (the guy who serves the sokovia accords to the avengers) appear

To TheNoPickleZone, oh ain't no kind of about it, Amelia is gonna destroy EVERYTHING lol

To Pitspee, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to the first two paragraphs. AND YES, I can confirm Steve totally has a bad girl fetish lol. Why do you think he gets her the leather jacket? When they do it he totally asks her to leave it on. Okay I'm kidding on that last part. Kind of. And I'm sorry for disappointing you with the lack of smut but you'd be even more disappointed if you read it cause I'm REALLY bad at writing smut. I can at least give you context lol

And a big thanks to everyone that read the chapter, prepare yourself for a rollercoaster ride, only its like one of those rollercoasters that just goes down.