They say the first time you hold your baby a sense of fulfillment engulfs you, but I guess I may be broken because as I laid in the hospital bed holding my son all I could feel was panic and regret. I was afraid that I wouldn't know how to care for a child no matter how many parenting books that I read and I regretted the fact that Edward wasn't here; even if I hated him he had the right to know his son.

"So Bells, what are you going to name him? Cause if you are stuck I can safely say that Jacob is a great name for a boy." I laughed at Jake's attempt at lightening the situation. I knew that they all realized that I was still so devoid of feeling and they tried to help lighten my spirits. I just shook my head and responded.

"No, his name is Mason. Mason Charles…" I was unsure about the last name. Should it be Cullen since that is technically still my name or should it be Swan because that is soon what I will become? If it was Swan then Edward would surely never need to know but would the Cullens be upset if I did that to their grandson? Strip him of anything that had to do with their family.

"Mason? Really Bells? Wasn't that a job in like the dark ages?" Jake asked. I didn't know how to break it to him and everyone else in the room that Mason was his father's last name before he was adopted by the Cullens.

"Well it's different and I like it. And since I am the one who was just in labor for 14 hours I think that it's my choice." I knew he wouldn't dare argue that.

"I am sorry everyone but visiting hours are over and little Mason here needs to get some rest and so does his mommy." The young nurse said as she pushed everyone from the room before wheeling Mason back to the nursery. I tried to get some sleep because I knew my body was exhausted but the loneliness slowly crept its way back now that everyone was gone. The hole in my chest seemed to open as I stared at the blank dark wall. After what seemed like hours I heard the door open and I assumed it was the annoying nurse again.

"I don't need any more pain meds Mary, please just leave me alone." I said quietly into the dark room.

"Well we are both in luck then because I have no pain medicine to offer you." I turned my head and noticed a small woman standing in the doorway and a voice that I would recognize anywhere.

"Alice you came!" She turned on the light and made her way over to my bed and gave me a tight hug.

"Of course I came, silly! I am just sad that I missed the show." I laughed at her ability to be at ease no matter what.

"Don't worry, Jake got it all on tape."

"So where is it?" She asked excitedly as she bounced up and down on the edge of the bed.

"He is in the nursery along with all the other babies. And before you ask, I already named him. Mason Charles." The name brought a smile to my face that I never knew could. Maybe he would be good for me, a little piece of Edward for me to have for always.

"Oh Bella, I am so proud of you! And I have a surprise for you!" I groaned. I really hated surprises.

"Well the first is really for Mason." She reached in her bag and pulled out a little blue button up outfit with the word Cullen written across the front in script. "Just so he knows where he came from." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and the regret building in my chest. "The second is more for you but it isn't here exactly right now." I could tell she was trying to hide something so against my better judgment I asked.

"Where is it exactly?" I was beginning to get nervous.

"In jail."

"What is in jail Alice?" My voice was starting to rise.

"Edward. Look before you blow up you have to know that Charlie called Edward to yell at him and Edward heard a page for the ER so he assumed something really bad happened to you and he came here on his own free will to see if you were alright." She spoke fast as if she knew if I didn't get answers soon then I was going to scream.

"That doesn't explain the jail part."

"Well we were coming in as your dad and Jake were coming out and your dad flipped and arrested Edward." I was so angry but I was unsure on whom to place my wrath.

"On what charges was he arrested?" I asked her in a eerily calm voice which I think scared her more.

"Spouse abuse. From what I gather your dad thinks that Edward was a raging alcoholic who beat you and well since there are plenty of doctor forms to prove injury it was easy to book him." I was enraged! Somewhat smug at the fact that he was in jail after the pain he caused but mostly I was filled with anger.

"Give me the damn phone Alice. Now!" I yelled and she handed over her shiny new cell phone.

"Forks police department, this is Brent how can I help you?" The assistant deputy answered the phone.

"Brent put Charlie on now."

"Uh…yeah sure Bella just hold on a minute." He stuttered through as if didn't know what the right thing to do in this kind of situation was. Appease the angry daughter or save the chief from the angry rant.

"Chief Swan." He answered pretending as if he didn't know it was me.

"Let him go dad. This is not your fight it is mine. You know that he never laid a single finger on me and I will come down to that police station right now and give my statement if I have to."

"Bells, I was never going to file the report but I wanted to give you time to figure out if you wanted to see him and I also really wanted to see him in handcuffs being dragged away." Charlie laughed but I found no humor in this.

"Let him go Charlie. I always said if he came looking for me then I would talk, well he came so now it's time to up hold my end of the bargain."

"Can I least keep him here till morning? So you can get some rest and I can have a good piece of mind that the asshole is where he deserves to be." I seriously contemplated the offer but I knew that if I allowed Charlie to do that it might just make Edward resent me more. So I told Charlie to release him and apologize for arresting him in the first place before I closed the phone and laid back down, exhausted from the day's events.

"You did good Bella. I actually thought you would leave him there for awhile." Alice said with a smirk.

"I am not that heartless of a woman. Now I am going to try to get some sleep before Mason needs to be feed again." Alice agreed and said she would be back in the morning before giving me a hug and a job well done.

It felt like I had only been asleep a few minutes when I was alerted by the bright sun that it was time to get up. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes before I reached for the call button to get the nurse to bring Mason in. I wanted some quiet time with him before everyone showed up again.

"I have been trying to figure it out for hours but things just aren't adding up." I was startled by the voice and I dropped the call remote and turned my head to see a very ragged and tired looking Edward sitting in the chair in the dark corner.

"I find out you are in the hospital on accident and when I get here after being arrested I find out that you are not just in the hospital but the maternity ward. You care to add anything to the story?" He wouldn't lift his head to look me in the face; he just continued to stare at the floor with his hands clasped together resting on his knees.

"I found out the day you brought home the papers and well I just figured that you just didn't care anymore so why break my heart again when you rejected the baby." I said this quietly but I was surprised at the ease at which the words flowed from my mouth.

Edward snapped his head up to look at me. And I could feel my heart stop as I held my breath waiting for the outburst of pent of anger towards me that never seemed to come.

"What? You were going to tell me that night? Oh God what have I done!" He stood up knocking the chair backwards before punching the wall next to him. I wanted to say something to calm him down but I was unsure of where his anger was directed at this time that I was too scared to take the focus from the wall if it was me that he was angry with. After a minute Edward seemed to calm down as he sank to his knees and grabbed his head into his hands and began to sob. The nurses came rushing in at this point to see what all the noise was about but as they came in to escort Edward from the room I stopped them and told them to just leave him. It wasn't that I liked to watch Edward pain but I refused to let him or anyone else interrupt before I knew the whole story.

"I am so sorry Bella for everything, even the things that you don't even know yet. Oh God, I have ruined everything. Just kill me God please just kill me." I got up from the bed carefully and made my way to Edward, kneeling down beside him. I ran my hand through his hair and I had forgotten how much I loved the feel of his hair and all of this brought tears to my eyes.

"Edward, please don't say things like that. I am not angry with you about not knowing, I came to terms with the fact that I would be a single parent a long time ago so don't feel as if you have to give up your life for us. We will be just fine." And for the first time in nine months I knew that this was true. I knew that I would be fine on my own as long as I had Mason, my little bit of Edward.

"That's not what I want Bella." My heart began to race at the fact that he called me Bella again instead of Isabella. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted to leave you. You have to believe me when I say that I didn't want this divorce but it was the only right thing to do." He turned so he was facing me and he took my face into his hands.

"Then why did you do it Edward? Why did you do all of this stuff if it wasn't what you wanted?" I saw worry and regret flash across his face which was only inches from mine and I wanted so desperately to lean in and close the distance but instead he drew back and dropped his hands.

"I want to tell you but this isn't the time or the place to discuss it. I am going to go." He reached back and grabbed his jacket. I wanted to stop him but I just couldn't find my voice enough to say it. As he was making his way towards the exit, the door opened and in walked the nurse carrying Mason.

My focus was still on Edward's face as the nurse stood there wondering who this strange man was before visiting hours. His face held shock has he stared at the baby and after what seemed like an eternity Edward walked to the nurse. His hand reached out as if to touch Mason's head of wispy bronze hair but when he came so close to touching it he pulled back with a sadness in his eyes that no man could ever describe.

"I will be in town until we can talk properly whenever that may be." And with that he left, walking at a brisk pace down the hall and out of my line of sight but I knew that the conversation wasn't over, the exact opposite in fact. We had just begun what I could feel would be a battle that would tear us down to nothing but maybe that is what we needed, a good tearing down to start again or maybe it would just open old wounds that would become infected and just cause more pain that might leave permanent scars that one could never hope to heal from.

EDWARD IS BACK AND HE WILL BE A BIGGER ROLE ONCE AGAIN FROM HERE ON OUT. AND I HAVE HAD MANY REVIEWS SAYING THAT THE EXTRA SECTION MAKES THE STORY HORRIBLE AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IN RESPONSE IS THAT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE STORY THEN PLEASE DON'T READ IT. THANKS- WISH