TheBananaSlug: Well, we did it. Fifty chapters. And to commemerate this magnus opus, we have more memes for you.
I think I got a good one for you, it includes Batman beating up Joker epically, The reveal of Scarecrow's face, Mr. Freeze raping someone, the introduction of Solomon Grundy, and…
…SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS!
You Got BatRolled!
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 50: More BatMemes!
1. Scarecrow's Wild Ride
Batman and Robin were in a real pickle this time, strapped together on a dreadful ride of evil. The pink and green car that currently rests in a rotted wood track, hidden a small building of broken wood and peeling paint, with a double-door that was painted like a swirling red vortex in front of the two. Standing before them, laughing madly, was the dreaded Scarecrow, holding his scythe menacingly as the two heroes scowled at the madman.
"You fell for my trap!" laughed Scarecrow evilly, "You should never trust cops with burlap masks on! And now, you shall both pay! WITH YOUR SANITY!"
"Look at me," grumbled Batman, "I'm already mad."
"But not mad enough, Batman," hissed Scarecrow, twirling his scythe around, "and your boy-toy will be a prisoner of insanity with you. And it will NEVER END!"
"Drop the ham!" shouted Robin, with Scarecrow laughing at him with a ham sandwich in hand.
"Not today, Boy Wonder," hissed Scarecrow, leaning over to his right and grabbing a lever, yanking it roughly down as Batman and Robin's car started and went down the tracks slowly with the sound of grinding gears nauseatingly heard over and over again.
The two watched to see the doors open, and the beginning of a long long ride...
Batman and Robin began hearing an extremely catchy song continuously play the same thing about spooky scary skeletons and how creepy they are, at the same time they would see endless skeletons posing with top hats, frozen and staring at the two with glowing red eyes.
"Batman…when will this ride end?" whimpered Robin.
Batman frowned and said, "…I don't know…"
"It will never end!" hissed Scarecrow's voice over the PA, "This is Mr. Bones' Wild Ride! And you will never leave the ride! Ever! EVER!"
As Scarecrow's laughter echoed through the ride, Robin began to sob wildly as Batman tried his best to keep his composure.
"I want to get off Mr. Bones' Wild Ride!" whined Robin in pure agony, knowing this was going to be a long eternity…
2. Batgirl wants some facts
Some time before this, Batgirl was in the Batcave playing with her dolls as Batman was on his computer playing WarCraft III: The Frozen Throne, because the classics rock. She looks at the dolls with curiosity, then turning to Batman and asking him a very simple yet very needing question.
"…Batman…How is babby formed?" she asked him, "How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?"
Batman sighed and paused the game, turning to her with a frown and answering to her morosely, "They need to do way instain mother…" He sported a mortified face and continued on, "Who kill thier babbys…becuse these babby cant frigth back?"
He got up and said, "It was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had killed her three kids. They are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest."
Batman walked over to Batgirl and placed his hands on her shoulder in comfort, "My pary are with the father who lost his children. I am truly sorry for their lots."
Batgirl couldn't say anything, she just looked at him in shock and fear, quivering at his reaction as if he was acting like a different person. Little did she know it was that one Bat-Robot from that one episode of the Animated Series. You know the one I mean.
3. Taste Rainbow Creature
Alfred walked down the Batcave stairs, holding a tray with a hookah and a waffle laying on said silver plate. When Alfred reaches the end of the staircase, he looked to see the cage holding Skittles the Rainbow Creature was now open, with Skittles nowhere to be seen!
He turns calmly and looks over to see Batman and his sidekicks behind some crates in the corner of the room. "Sir, may I be so bold to ask why you three are behind that-"
Batman lurched up and yelled, "ALFRED! LOOKOUT!"
Alfred turned to the left when a great shadow came over him, looking to see Skittles lurching over the butler with a slobbering growl. Skittles shoots a omnicolored beam with all of the colors of the rainbow, hitting him with a power of a thousand fingers filled with static electricity. Alfred screamed in terror and pain as Skittles said the only thing he will ever say that is English.
"TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHERFUCKER!"
4. Double Rainbow Creature
They all watched as Alfred was hit by the Rainbow, convulsing and floating over the floor as he would switch from red and green and blue and yellow and that other color they said vampires can see in Twilight (Bullshit? Not sure if it is.). The three all watched in horror, all except for Robin, who was smiling in wonder and joy as he soon breathed out…
"…Whoa, that's a full rainbow…Double Rainbow, all the way…Double Rainbow, oh my god…"
Batman and Batgirl looked at him in disbelief as he kept watching Alfred in the air, lifted by the rays as he screamed in agony. Alfred's eyes turned glowing red, shining out as a stream of yellow light shoots out of his mouth that soon turned blue.
Robin, however, began crying as he kept yelling out, "Whohohohoa! OH MY EYE! Oh my god! Double Rainbow! OOOOH MY EEEEYE! Double Rainbow, all the way home!"
"Robin! Knock it off!" snapped Batman, "He's murdering Alfred!"
"Startin' to look like a Triple Rainbow!" squeaked Robin, who then began to sob out of the beauty of it all.
"…Are you high?" questioned Batgirl, channeling all of us.
5. Professor Pyg-Chan
In a dirty room, Professor Pyg sat at a chair, wearing adult diapers and a clay medallion shaped and made into the face of one of his Dollotrons. He began stuffing his face with handfulls of Fritos, looking over at a pickle on the table, grimacing and throwing it on the floor in disgusted hate.
"Stupid Batman…" he gurgled out, "…sending Pyggy pickles. Pyggy is straight, so he HATES pickles! I will make him eat his own underwear."
He leans down against his chair, holding a Dollotron wearing pink lingerie as it sits on his lap and rubs his fat greasy chest, hissing out, "Laugh now, all you want, Mr. Batman. Because you have no money…and I'll tell you what…I have your mugshot." He holds at a picture of Batman kissing at the camera, causing Pyg to laugh, "Hahaha! I scoff at you!"
He looked down and began drawing on his comic about his Dollotrons, portraying Batman as some weird round-headed monster, with a muscular version of Professor Pyg beating him up as sexy Dollotrons cozied up next to him.
"You do not wanna get on Pyggy's bad side again," he hissed, "…Pyggy has fangs. Bad fangs. To bite with."
He looked into the bowl of Fritos, seeing it empty. "Julie!" he screamed out, "JULIIIIEEEE! I need Pizza Snacks! Batpickle stole them again!"
He watched as the Dollotron got up from his lap, walking over to the table and gave him a plate full of Pizza Snacks like the diminutive sex-slave Pyg wants, placing them on the table with a soda with a oversized straw poking out of it.
Pyg sighed and began looking through the internet on his computer, sucking on his oversized straw and finishing his drink in just a few seconds.
Suddenly, the door opens to reveal Simon Hurt, holding an axe and sporting a grimace on his face. "Get away from the internet! I'm cutting it down!"
"Wuh!? Why!?" squealed Pyg.
"Shut that goddamn thing off!" yelled Simon, slamming his axe on the floor and yelling, "Because of Batman, he has a full view of our complex, because of you! Because you put that stuff on the internets!"
He then smacked the back of Pyg's head and said, "I don't care what you do, you get all that off of his computer. Tonight!"
Pyg grumbled shamefully and said, "I'm working on it."
"Go work on it!" snapped Simon, "Do you realize something, lemme tell you. That if the GCPD sees those videos, that you put up. We will have to relocate to Hub City, and our plans to ruin Batman will be for not."
He then shook his finger at him and said, "Now…you go get that stuff off goddamn fast."
"I'm workin' on it!" squealed Pyg, "I'm workin' on it!" He then got up and followed Simon as he made his way to the door, "It's out of my control!"
"No, get them off, Pyg!" growled Simon as he walked to the door.
"It's out of my control! I don't know where to go!" whined the Professor.
"You uploaded them, you unload them," scolded Simon, opening the door and shaking his finger, "I will be back to steal your Pizza Snacks."
"I'm working on it!" repeated Pyg.
"I'll be on you all night if I have to!" growled Hurt as he walked out, "What you did was stick a knife in our backs and kill us!" The door slammed as Pyg stood in his filth, obviously angry as he shook his fists.
"NNNNRGH!" he growled out in anger and hatred, "I will strangle that Batman!"
6. Scarecrow's Wild Ride (STAHP)
The eldritch ride Scarecrow created for Batman and Robin continued with the same song and the same dancing skeletons constantly apparent, it was like it would never end. Its slow pace, its stupid ramps, and its stupid turns over and over and over again that did nothing but create a large block of turns for the ride and just to ruin the ride for the vigilante heroes.
Robin began hyperventilating as Batman sat there, trying to be as stoic as possible, shaking wildly as his mind began to crack wide open for all to see. Robin was not as strong, who gripped the bars of the ride and swinging his head forward and back before finally snapping.
Robin began to scream loudly and shrilly, flailing his arms around like a frightened muppet in his young madness. He began struggling in his seat like a trapped fox as Batman looked at him with a blank and ravaged stare.
"Robin…what are you doing?" groaned Batman.
Robin only replied with mad gibberish as he began beating his own head on the edge of the seat, grinding his teeth and rolling his eyes around.
"Robin!" Batman groaned louder.
Robin then released a bloodcurdling scream that did its best to drown the music but was not at all effective, where Batman then requested in his slowly growing madness…
"…STAHP…"
7. GOOSH GOOSH
In a large restaurant freezer, Riddler was pushed around with Black Mask and Joker behind him, chuckling darkly as Riddler would slide on the slippery floor with the visible breath from the great coldness of the freezer.
"Okay! What the hell do you guys want!?" whimpered Riddler, his arm visibly broken.
"We're here to finish what you started, Eddie," hissed the Joker.
"Started?" let out Riddler.
"Yeah…Mr. Freeze promised us a show," growled Black Mask sadistically.
"Mister…Freeze?" breathed out Riddler, backing away slowly before fatefully colliding with a tall gaunt and metal figure. Riddler whimpered and looked behind him to see Mr. Freeze towering over him with his wife right next to him in her tube connected to the cold freezer wall.
"…Nygma," he growled out, looking down and rubbing the glass over his chin, "This is…very good."
"Good? What do you want, Victor!?" screamed out Riddler, looking over at his wife, still floating around in her plastic underwear.
"…My wife…really wants…that fantasy of hers," breathed out Mr. Freeze. Riddler froze up metaphorically, looking at his wife and was certain he saw the faintest of smirks…
…
What happened cannot be explained in a fanfic at this rating, but all I can say is that Riddler was in pain, and Mr. Freeze gave him that pain, all while crying out the same warcry.
"Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh!"
Blood began to seep from Riddler onto the marble floor, as he kept screaming and groaning in great undeniable pain. He releases blood-curdling screams as he held onto the table for dear life, all with Freeze continuing with…
"Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh!"
From the other side of the room, Black Mask, Joker, and Mr. Freeze's wife watched as they just stood there, or in Nora's case, floated. Joker sported a mad grin, while Black Mask watched with a constant grimace as it seemed that Riddler's life has been expectantly spent.
"Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh! Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh gooshgooshgooshgooshgoosh!"
Finally, Mr. Freeze clenched deeply, then breaths out in great relaxed bliss, all as that 'coolant' splashes into the corpse of the Riddler.
The Riddler's body fell on the floor, covered in blood as it created a great puddle around the ravaged corpse. Don't worry, this is based on a comic book, he'll be back. This isn't that crappy Ultimates shit Marvel's been trying to shove down our throats. Seriously, Marvel.
8. Poison Ivy's Boobs
Now to break that horrifying experience, Poison Ivy would love to share something with you.
Poison Ivy then sits down in front of all of you on her gigantic man-eating flower, sighing proudly and says with an arrogant posture, "Hey girls, did you know, um…" She then presses her hands on her breasts and says, "Your boobs? Go inside your shirt."
Harley walked past her with a coffee mug, wearing a red bathrobe and looking especially drained, saying with her saggy eyes looking at Ivy, "Sis…you are the LEAST qualified to talk about that."
Poison Ivy looked at her with distaste, then looks at her own "Eve-styled" outfit and sighed in agreement.
"It was a stupid meme anyway…we all know they belong to Batman…"
9. Epic Bat Man
Joker stands in the middle of an intercity bus, holding a long-barreled gun, laughing madly as he says to all the frightened passengers forced in their seats, "Now! Here is what is going to happen, yolks. You are all going to give me all your money…and then I will kill you! Nyeheheheh!"
The crowd looked at him in horror, children cried and old ladies prayed to God for saving. Joker pointed his gun at them all as they refused, knowing they would as he got ready to shoot them on by one...
"Hey, how much for a spit-shine, Joker."
He darted his head back violently and saw Batman look at him with a grimace from the end of the bus. "What?" growled out Joker.
"How much you charge me for my Stacy Adams, Mr. J?" growled Batman with a slight smirk.
"You better get outta my face, Batman," hissed Joker, even though Batman was nowhere near it.
"Why you gettin' hostile, brutha?" teased Batman, with the crowd laughing at Joker, causing the Clown Prince to frown deeply.
"I'll put up your ass, Batman!" growled the Joker angrily.
"You ain't scarin' this white boy, Joker," laughed Batman, turning around and saying, "I see tough guys like you I slap the shit out of."
Joker growled and grabbed his knife, running at Batman full-speed, only for the Dark Knight to turn around and swipe his cape in his face, following with an epic beat down as he slammed fist after fist onto Joker's face and stomach and chest.
Joker cried out with every slam of the fist, bruising and bleeding from the punches as he flailed around like a ragdoll. He was given mercy when the Batman threw an uppercut from underneath and sent the Joker flying to the floor.
The crowd cheered as Joker crawled to the back of the bus, clutching his stomach and crying in pain. Batman then yelled out, "Don't feck with me Joker…" He then turns and walks out of the bus, with the enamored people clapping at his leaving.
Joker sobbed and wiped his eyes, still leaking blood. He pulled out his cellphone, calling his girlfriend saying, "Harley…bring the men…and M&M's…and Eminem…and amberlance…"
"A whats?" would be his reply.
10. Batman Evaluates the Situation
Batman sat on his computer chair in the large moist Bat-Cave, holding his Batman glass with milk with Catwoman, Robin, and Batgirl sitting next to him. He began thinking about him beating up the Joker just a few hours ago, then of the gang he sent out at him that eventually added Black Mask's, Penguin's, Killer Croc and Hush. The hero sighed and shook his head, saying, "Boy…that escalated quickly."
He nodded and said, "That fight with Joker's gang, I mean that really got out of hand."
"It jumped up a notch," added Catwoman.
"It did, didn't it?" laughed Batman.
"Yeah I stabbed a guy in the heart," giggled Batgirl.
"Haha! I saw that, Cassandra killed a guy!" laughed Batman, pointing at her.
"With a trident, right?" questioned Robin.
"Yeah, there was Joker's gang, Black Mask's gang, and I killed Hush with a trident," Batgirl evaluated more.
"Cass I was meaning to talk to you 'bout that," Batman sighed, placing his mug down, "You may want to lay low for a while, because you are probably wanted for murder."
Batgirl only could reply by nibbling on the chair of the Batman, nervously yet innocently looking around.
11. Scarecrow's Handsome Face
Scarecrow stood in the middle of the street, sighing in misery as he untied the noose around his mask as people walked through the sidewalk ignoring him, letting it drop as his mask hung there incredibly loose. With a great moan of horror, he grabbed it and swiftly removed his burlap mask.
As he was removing it, Harley, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman were walking down the sidewalk with shopping bags in hand, talking about Riddler's freak death. They stopped and gasped when they saw something incredibly beautiful, looking at Scarecrow's face as he let the mask drop on the asphalt.
He had such clear skin, smooth as a baby's bottom and sported such lovely cheekbones. His lips would pout slightly, showing a bit of his white teeth from under them and his short yet perfect chin stood under his frown.
The three squealed in loving lust as they looked at his perfect bishonen face, with his spiky brown hair laid flat against his head as it quivered against the blowing wind. Crane's eyes were closed tightly before slowly opening, revealing his beautiful blue eyes as the sad little Scarecrow finds the three as they jumped out to him, grabbing him and hugging him as they began crying in ecstasy.
"Oh Scarecrow! You are so beautiful! You have the face of an angel!" screamed Catwoman.
"You and Mistah J need ta get tagethah!" sighed Harley happily, "…both of ya…doin' it…priceless…"
"Oh Crane…make me your Eve! Be me Adam!" moaned out Poison Ivy.
As they smiled and cuddled with the Scarecrow, they didn't realize that Scarecrow wanted to die…for he watched the latest Fairly Oddparents special, revealing the Return of the Scrappy.
And as a sea of women rushed to him, no doubt stomping all over him and ending his life…he knew for some time, with the Second Coming of the Scrappy…
…The End…has Begun…
12. Solomon Grundy's Opinion
Batgirl whimpered as she found herself lost in the rotting mushroom-filled swamp, looking around with a speck of hope to find Batman and Robin, but until then, she was lost…in Suicide Swamp.
She began to hear a deep guttural moan, then hearing the loud stomping and sloshing of swamp water as a great evil began making its presence known.
She looked out in the swamp and saw a large figure in the mist, moving closer and closer to her as the moaning didn't stop. Batgirl shivered as the zombie named Solomon Grundy stomped through the marsh-water before stopping, towering over her and glaring down at her with those dead zombie eyes.
"…What…do you want?" she asked him. Grundy didn't say a word, he just snarled and clenched his fist.
Finally, he said only three words to her…
"I like turtles…"
She looked at him in shock and confusion, with Grundy staring gleefully at her with a dumb smile. Batgirl, in he only response to such a situation, nervously puts her thumbs up and said, "Alriiiight, you're a great…zombie…"
13. Croc 2
Nightwing wandered throughout the sewers of Gotham City, looking with a flashlight as he seemed more bored than scared. The constant stench of crap, piss, and semen was everywhere as his tight black booties would turn to a sickly brown with a hint of green and with one of his shins forced to sport a piece of corn glued to said shin.
"Forced into this stupid plethora of memes," he murmured to himself in misery, "thanks a lot, Jason Todd."
Hoping to find his meme and get the hell out of this shit-hole, he darts his flashlight to a corner, forced to see in horror the sight that grown men weep at, Killer Croc eating a dead woman that has no name nor any real background, with blood everywhere as he chewed on the meat as the poo-water around him turns into a dark red horror.
"God…He's eating her…" he breathed out in fear, "And then he's gonna eat me!"
Killer Croc ignored him, not interested in eating Nightwing since the girl tasted better, but Nightwing was too stupid by the meme's wicked power to care at the moment.
"OH MY GAAAAAWWWD!" he cried out, with Killer Croc simply walking away, done with memes for today.
14. Batman Sez
Here is a message from Batman, folks.
Batman walked to you, wherever you are, and said with a calm voice, "Kids, there's nothing more good than being hugged by someone you like…" His tone shifts into a raspy growl, "But if someone touches you in a place or in a way that makes you uncomfortable, that's no good."
"It's your body, nobody has the right to touch you in a place you don't want them to," added Batman, "First, you flap your cape at their face, then you place a flurry of fists on them, then you give them a crazy uppercut up the chin, then you get outta there."
Uh, Batman, that's not right.
"Shut up, you useless writer!" snapped Batman, "If Batman can do it, so can the children! I am a role model! Who are you!? NOBODY!"
15. I'm Enjoying a Treat, Hush! (SPECIAL GUEST CAMEO: Muscle Man from Regular Show)
It was a hot sunny day, with Penguin sitting on his lounge chair outside of his mansion near his pool filled with beautiful half-naked women, eating a large bowl of fish sticks one by one as he grinned in peace in his black speedo. Yes, you will picture Penguin, fat and flabby with the palest skin, wearing only a small black banana hammock with his huge bulge seen from inside the tiny swimwear.
Suddenly, a dark cloud approached in the shape of Hush, who walked over to him with his arms flopping around carelessly with the Penguin glaring at Hush with distaste and irritation just by his presence. As soon as Hush reached Penguin, Thomas would flop on the grass and begin curling up in a ball and smiled at Oswald.
"Hey Penguin!" he shouted out.
"What do you want Elliot!" growled Penguin.
"I look like a hush-puppy," giggled Hush, "Hey, Hey Penguin! Don't I look like a hush-puppy? Get it? Hush? Puppy? Hush-Puppy?"
"ELLIOT!" screamed Penguin angrily, "I'm enjoying a treat, ELLIOT!"
"Can…can you share?" let out Hush. Penguin ignored him and took a bite out of his treat, hurming in rage.
"Hey, Penguin!" he called out again, "Don't I look like a mummy?"
"ELLIOT!" screamed Penguin, with Hush laughing innocently, "NOT RIGHT NOW!"
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Muscle Man from Regular Show showed up at the end of the backyard and asked loudly with his nasally gruff tone, "What are you guys doin'?"
Penguin then pulled out his umbrella from the side of his lounge chair, nonchalantly shooting Muscle Man in the stomach. Muscle Man groaned as he clutched his stomach, falling onto his knees as he breathed out in pain with blood seeping from between his fingers, his eyes wide and his chin dribbling with spit and human bean-juice.
"Hey, Panguin!" called out Hush with a wide grin.
"ELLIOT! I'm enjoying a treat, dammit!" he screamed, getting up and waddling around angrily, continuously screaming, "I'm enjoying a treat, Elliot!"
Hush frowned and growled out, "FINE!" He then got up and ran away, falling on a skateboard and down into the pool of cranberry juice. Did I forget to mention the pool was filled with Cranberry Juice? Sorry, it was, and the half-naked women? Who cares. They bored the snot out of me.
16. Scarecrow's Wild Ride (ROBIN AFTER INSANITY)
As the ride continued, with Batman and Robin slouching on their chairs, looking down the endless unknown track in utter hopelessness and misery, Robin groans sadly, shaking his head with his eyeballs covered in that salty water one calls tears.
"I…Batman?" Robin whimpered out, "I feel funny…is this real life?"
"Yeah…" grumbled Batman miserably.
"…Okay…I have two fingers," moaned Robin with tears in his eyes, "…I have four fingers…" He then tried to put his finger in his mouth, no reason was needed.
"Nuh-uh-uh-uh!" stopped Batman, even though it was pointless to do so, "Don't do it, don't you leave me!"
"…I can't see anything," sobbed Robin.
"Yes you can," corrected Batman, who then watched Robin try to get up from his seat, with Batman scolding quickly and extending his hand out to his sidekick, "Stay in your seat! Please."
With that, Robin let out a deep growl, then he screamed at the top of his lungs. Then falling back to his seat and sighing out in defeat, "…I don't feel tired…"
"Neither do I," grumbled Batman sadly.
"…You have four eyes," moaned Robin, who then sobbed lightly, "Why is this happening to me?"
Batman tried not to cry as Robin looked at him, asking sincerely, "Is this forever?" Batman shuts his eyes and cries ever so subtly, bobbing his head in sadness as it seemed the ride would never end for the two heroes.
And as if Alan Moore heard their mental cries to the cosmos and into the world of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the ride stopped with the two looking around in shock. The two see that the ride stopped at a cramped wooden room, filled with bricks and gardening tools as a skeleton holds a sign in front of the door, with the words, "Have a nice day" written on the sign it hold.
"What's going on!?" screamed Robin, "Are we the dead?"
"No! The ride stopped!" laughed Batman joyfully, with the restraints flying up to free them from damnation. The Dynamic Duo laughed and hugged each other, getting off the ride with an embracing leap and facing a door out of this place.
"Come on, Robin!" announced Batman, overly joyous of being free, "Let's beat up Scarecrow!"
"Yeah!" Robin giggled madly, with the two kicking the door and finding…a long walkway between two chained walls that seemed to stretch on forever.
Robin and his partner looked at the walkway with despair and sadness returning to the two beloved characters, with the Boy Wonder looking at Batman nervously and asking again, "…Is this forever?"
17. Croc's Jimmies
Killer Croc waited outside of the bakery, looking at the meat pie being made by the kindly old baker happily, slobbering from his jaw madly and profusely. He waited for this work of culinary art to finish, ready to buy it just when it was complete. His smile was wide and large and shining, and when he saw the pie placed on the table he went over to the door and pushed an old lady off her stroller and, bashing through the wooden door like an angry behemoth.
He waltzed into the room, looking at the meat pie happily as the kindly old baker looked at Croc with crap in his pants. He even gave out a childish little sigh as he ran to it with a huge growl, adding more crap in the baker's trousers. Killer Croc reached out for it, ready to take it and eat it for his leisure…
…But suddenly, Black Mask appeared from behind the baker and stuck his hand messily into the pie, yelling out, "My germs!" He began shoveling some of the meat from the pie into his greasy hand and smushed it against his ebony skeletal face, eating most of it in front of Killer Croc.
His dickish behavior would not due him good, as Killer Croc grabbed his throat and lifted him up from the stand. Croc sported a dark frown as he stared at him with a death-glare and growled from under his cracked lips.
"Roman…" he hissed out, "…that…really…rustled…my…jimmies…"
"Problem?" laughed Black Mask.
"Fuck you!" snapped Killer Croc, throwing Black Mask into the wall, breaking it and Black Mask's bones as the establishment began crumbling from the blow.
18. Batman's Nightmare
Batman sat on his chair in front of the large super computer, with Alfred walking behind him with a tray in hand as he laid plates of sandwiches on a nearby table behind Batman. The Dark Knight typed on his computer with an intent stare at the screen, searching up local wanted posters and began scouting for said criminals by checking their credit card statements, cell-phone calls, and even birth records.
Meanwhile, Alfred walked up to Batman oh so calmly. Alfred then began staring at Batman, quietly not saying a word as he looked at his master with his calm demeanor that was always present in his presence. Batman paused a bit, feeling the stare, but returned to his work.
Alfred, without warning, then ripped off his face, revealing Scarecrow's mask underneath it, who then leaned his head forward and hissed out in a murderous tone, "I'm gonna kill you!"
Batman shrieked and jumped out of his chair, causing Scarecrow to jump in shock as well as Batman began running around the Batcave with sweat running down his square jaw.
"Uh, uh…I didn't mean it!" shouted out Scarecrow, running after Batman with his arms flailing around.
However, Batman would have none of that, running away from Scarecrow as he screams at the top of his lungs and flailing his arms around like a muppet. As he rushed around in fear, Scarecrow called out, "Don't be angry!" still chasing after the Dark Knight.
19. The Most Interesting Man in the World
Batman lost his parents at a young age, but with their deaths, he grew faster to become a master of the arts of justice and vengeance. Batman has learned how the vile creatures think and learned how to combat them perfectly. No matter how sick and vile they are, he keeps his composure and lets them live. He knows mercy as much as he knows justice. He is the Night. He is Vengeance.
He is the Most Interesting Man in the World.
Batman has faced the most evil of men, ranging from psychopathic comedians with a penchant for lethal jokes to two tortured souls in a single body. From masters of riddles to masters of avians. From a spoiled doppelganger who wishes his blood to the powerful demon with an army of assassins behind him. All of them, he defeats them.
He faces the blizzards of winter and defeats him. He faces the wrath of spring and defeats her. The seasons fear him, for they have the right to. He is the night.
And despite his powerful warring abilities of evil, he is also a kind gentle soul. Caring for those that have lost as much as he has, and training them to combat evil with him. If one falls, he weeps for them. He knows love, from good and evil, and seduces both at the same time.
With this, Batman has said this to me, to relay to you:
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I start running around, hitting criminals in the face, screaming out, "I am the Goddamn Batman" with my pants between my ankles…that is why I don't drink much…"
Stay thirsty, my friends.
20. Penguin Can Break These Cuffs
It was a normal day, with Batman and Robin arresting Penguin as the two dragged the Fowl of Felony from the Iceberg Lounge after he tried taking over the town with mutant penguins. The Penguin was wearing his black speedo again, his moobs flapping with every step and his ass quaking with his flappy man-tits. Penguin was groaning and shaking his head violently, struggling with Batman and Robin as the two laugh at his predicament.
"What is wrong with you?" laughed Batman, pressing Penguin against the Batmobile, falling on his knees in front of the hood. Penguin groaned as he shook his head, tearing up a bit with his white chest exposed.
"You cannot do this to me!" he clucked angrily, "I will make a thousand hummingbirds stab your eyeballs until you beg for mercy."
"Penguin, zip it," commanded Robin, pointing his finger at him, "You won't be seeing light for a while…in Blackgate!"
Penguin shook his head, putting his head down and hissing out, "I can…break these…cuffs!"
"You can't break those cuffs!" added Batman wisely.
Penguin replied with a loud yell, blaring out as he showed his sharp teeth and flared his nostrils. His eyes were wide and blood-shot, screaming loudly as he tried to break those cuffs, but ultimately, he succeeded. With the chain breaking and freeing the Penguin, Cobblepot then flips backwards from the two as they looked at him in shock, disappearing into the streets with a flip and another flip and once more.
"…Huh…" breathed out Batman, "…well, I'll be damned…"
21. My Leg! (SPECIAL GUEST CAMEO: Fanfiction Writer SuperStarUltra)
Batman groaned as he slammed his fists on the yellow plaster cashier's stand, standing in the middle of a fast food restaurant filled with greasy teenagers. The Dark Knight barks out at the scrawny teenage worker, "Dammit! I have a coupon! I deserve free nuggets!"
"I'm sorry Batman," let out the cashier at the other side, looking at Batman in fear, "but it expired a day ago! There's nothing I can do!"
"It's! Just! One! Day!" roared Batman angrily, "I missed one day and you are going to screw me? Do you know how many times I saved your ass? All of the asses in Gotham City!?"
"It's just policy!" shrieked the cashier, "If I could, I would give you the nuggets for free regardless!"
"Fine!" he growled angrily, "It's not like you get that many customers anyway. With crappy service like that!"
Suddenly, the rotating glass doors opened to reveal famed fanfic writer SuperStarUltra, creator of "YouGotHaruhiRolled!" and "Cracks in the SOS Dan", walking in with his arms waving up at everyone with a welcoming smile.
"Rev up those fryers!" he shouted, "'cause I'm sure hungry for some-" He was then grabbed by Batman, who carried him across the restaurant back to the front door.
"Help! HELP!" he screamed out, before finally being thrown out the front door and landing on a his leg, which he screamed out in pain and misery, "My leg! My leeeg."
"They're closed, damn you all!" roared Batman, "Not until get my chicken NUGGETS!" He then roared and walked back into the restaurant.
22. VENOM
HEY! Do you want power? Do you want strength! Then you want VENOM! Venom is like a green blood filled with Zeus' seed that gives the power of thunder into your BODY!
It is a MAN'S DRUG!
Not like pot that makes you tired. VENOM WANTS YOU TO MOVE! Venom rapes Pot like an angry bull! Pot is inferior! Venom is the MASTER RACE of DRUGS!
It's not like meth, because meth is STUPID!
And it's nothing like STEROIDS! Venom is steroids times INFINITY! Venom gives you STRENGTH and heightens your PENIS SIZE!
Venom tastes like HAVING SEX WITH THUNDER! It feels like SWIMMING IN SEX! That doesn't make sense, but it feels like liquid! AWESOME LIQUID!
Venom was made in a prison in South America for the sole purpose of KICKING PEOPLE'S ASSES! BATMAN'S ASS!
It gives you so much strength so that you can BREAK BATMAN'S ASS! I MEAN BACK! But you can also BREAK HIS ASS!
I AM MAN-BAT!
So take Venom and BE A GOD! ARRGH!
23. Joker Blows Up Gotham
Jason Todd, The Red Hood, was walking down the sidewalk through the city with little to no care as he stuck his hands in his pockets. He sighed and shook his head, "Damn I'm bored, better call the guys…hang out…get smashed…"
He sighed again and pulls out a cigarette from his coat pocket, and when he reaches into his pocket, grabbing his Zippo lighter and attempting to get his fix of nicotine, he looks down and sees a small package on the ground, with his name written on it in red ink.
Jason darts around again and again, seeing who it could have been that would leave him this gift. But, being a dummy for the sake of plot, he decides that if it is for him, then it must be safe.
Without thinking twice, he reaches down and picks up the package, lifting it up and savagely opening it with a smile under his mask. He frowned to see the only contents was a single piece of string.
He glared and said with a visible pout, "Must be a trick from Roy…stupid shashiver." Red Hood reaches down into the box and attempted to lift the string out, only to find out it quickly opened a flap from underneath…
…and revealed a ticking pipe-bomb ready to blow up in his face!
"WHAT THE FU-" was the last thing he said before Gotham blew up in a great nuclear explosion, and the only witness was the Joker sitting on his balloon-powered dirigible, who was laughing madly at the wanton destruction the Clown Prince of Crime has just committed.
24. Scarecrow's Wild Ride (Oh god, oh man!)
Batman and Robin walked down the million mile long path, tired and hungry, looking at the glorious end of the road, to the door to freedom. Their weak bodies flopped, but their smiles of endearment were showing on their sweaty face to prove how determined these two were.
"Oh Batman!" cried Robin out of relief, "We're gonna be free! We'll finally get out of this horrible nightmare!"
"Don't worry, Robin," sighed Batman happily, "it's all over now…"
And so, Batman pushed the double doors open, only to find something completely different. It was another part of Scarecrow's Wild Ride, the same car and tracks but with a new sign overhead the ride's entrance…and it read…
"THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!"
Batman staggered back in terror as Robin stood there, cold like a statue as he is at a great and utter loss of words. And so, Batman then breaths out in terror, "Oh god…oh man, oh god!"
He began to spin around in madness, "Oh god, oh man! Oh god, oh man! OH GOD! OH MAN! OH GOD!"
25. The Ultimate Meme
Scarecrow laughed evilly as he watched Batman continuously spit out, "Oh god, oh man!", trapped in his madness that will never end. Scarecrow sat on his lounge chair in an abandoned motel room, looking at numerous surveillance sets that showed Batman's madness in many different angles.
"Hahahaha!" he cackled, "Batman will be lost forever in my Wild Ride! Loopin' over and over and over and over again until he dies of starvation! Then, I will do it to Superman, then to Wonder Woman, then to the Flash, and then to the next hero! And the next! And the next! AND THE NEXT! HAHAHAHA!"
He leaned back on his chair and sipped his coffee. "And with this, no one can stop the growing madness…"
Suddenly, the televisions burst out in Scarecrow's frightened stare and jumps away from shock, seeing Batman and Robin punch through the screens dynamically, kicking the Scarecrow in the face in unison. The Haystack Horror flew back with his lounge chair, landing on the floor with a broken arm and a broken jaw. He looked at the Dynamic Duo stand before him with terror and disbelief.
"But…how?" he whimpered out, "…the…video surveillance…"
"A loop, Scarecrow," revealed Batman proudly, "I was able to make one with my Bat-Video Editor: Portable Edition while I was riding on your Wild Ride. It's a good thing you were too stupid to NOT take my utility belt, you know."
He nodded to Robin, who nodded back in a proud smile, and then the two heroes walked to the window, overlooking the whole city as Scarecrow tried to crawl at them, growling in anger.
"You…bastard…" he hissed, "No one could have escaped my Wild Ride! It is impossible! Only something unnatural…who…who are you!?"
Batman stopped in front of the window, turning to him, and saying only this…
"…I'm the Goddamn Batman."
And with that, the Dark Knight and his Boy Wonder jumped out of the window, gliding in the night sky to face more evil that wishes to blight all of Gotham. For he is…the Dark Knight.
TheBananaSlug: I don't give a FUCK what you say, THAT is the Ultimate Meme! Batman is the herald of all memes whether you like it or not, suckah.
But, yeah, this has been fun, and exhausting. I am sorry if I keep you guys waiting, but I juggle with other stories, life, and college. But I do my best to keep you either entertained or annoyed. Fills my chest with joy knowing you get a kick or puke because of MY writing.
Although, I think I spent most of the memes that I can write in…maybe for the 75th Chapter I'll do ones based on the GI Joe PSAs.
Goosh Goosh.
Sorry, no Confidentials for today, but next chapter, we will be exploring Hush and his voice actor (like that even matters).
Calendar Man: Have A Happy Easter!
TheBananaSlug: They know that! |:[
