Chapter 53

Adrianna POV

"Stop moving," I grumbled against Nik but all I felt was the vibrations from his chest as he tried to hide his laugh.

We were currently lying in bed and I was grateful that we didn't have to get up any time soon, Nik wasn't working today and we had no plans. Well I had plans, my plans were to never leave this bed because my muscles were incredibly sore from my first session back in the gym yesterday.

I've been worried that Nik is going to start questioning what my nightmare was about, I wasn't ready to talk about it. I don't know how to tell how scared it made me feel to see him as angry as he was. I was hoping Nik never asked.

"I told you that you would be sore today but you didn't listen to me, I told you a hot bath would help but yet you refused to listen to me. You just wanted to go straight to sleep." He spoke before shifting both of us so we were facing each other and I reluctantly opened my eyes, I only saw him smirking for a second before I closed them.

"You wore me out," I complained before shifting closer into him ignoring the pain from my aching muscles.

"I would rather wear you out other ways," he spoke, his voice sounding horse and husky and my eyes instantly snapped opened and I stared at him taking in exactly what he said.

"I'm sorry Dri, I didn't mean for that to come out." Worry was etched on his face and I still had no idea what he was on about, but it wasn't until he shifted to get a better look at me that I felt it, the bludge in his boxers and I realised exactly what he meant, I couldn't help but laugh at him.

He scowled at me and I still couldn't stop laughing at him, it wasn't until he pulled away and went to get out of the bed that I realised my mistake.

"I'm sorry come back to bed," I finally stopped laughing and pouted at him.

"So me voicing, by mistake might I add, that I would love nothing more than be able to have sex with you again at some point and you laugh at me?" this time he pouted at me.

I sat up so I was kneeling on the bed before moving down so I was kneeling in front of him and I wrapped my arms around his neck before softly massaging his head.

"I'm sorry but it was a little funny, I'm incredibly grateful you are being understand with the whole no sex thing. I just can't yet." I spoke softly and he kissed me before placing his hands on my waist.

"I know Dri, it's why I haven't said anything before now. I'm waiting until you are ready, I won't force you." He rested his forehead against mine and I smiled.

"Come back to bed then?"

"Only if you tell me about your joy ride," he questioned and I was curious about how he found out about those.

"Which one?" I grinned at him as he raised an eyebrow at me and I laughed. "Oh you thought it was only once, I can tell you we had a lot of fun sneaking in and grabbing the cars." I continued to grin at him as I pulled away and curled back up under the blankets waiting for him to join me.

"Why did you think it would be a fun thing to do?" he questioned as he climbed in beside me and I shifted so my head was laying on his chest.

"The first time, I was petrified for the amount of trouble I would get in once caught. It was the summer before freshman year and the novices going into their senior year that summer were worried that I would blab about the parties and what we got up to, they asked me to grab some of the vehicles keys so we could go for a ride. After that, I knew it was fun and had fun doing it."

"Any Moroi?"

"God no, we weren't that stupid. It was only novices that ever took off, it's partly why we were never badly punished. We always took off when the sun was up so the Strigoi couldn't get us and we didn't leave the car, we left the grounds drove around for an hour or two before coming back." I lifted my head up to look at him and he was shaking his head with a small smile.

"Do I really want to know about the things the students can get up to while I'm here?" I laughed before lying back down.

"All I can say is good luck with that and I won't tell you. It's a sworn secrecy, the only reason you know about the joy rides is because someone blabbed. I never even told my friends." his hands came around and were placed on my face.

"Are you feeling alright? You kept secrets like this from your friends? I suppose if they knew one of the academy's vehicles would have gone missing." I laughed again before shifting around so I could face him properly.

"Any secrets you haven't told me?" I teased him, knowing there was still so much we haven't told each other but when a serious expression appeared on his face I was worried. "What is it?" I pulled away from him and he scrubbed his face.

"You wanted to know why I was sent to the academy last year, do you still want to know?"

"I just assumed you lost your Moroi like everyone else," he shook his head and it was then I was god damn curious.

"My Moroi is very much alive, I still have to face him every time I visit my mother. He's past it enough that he doesn't prevent me from seeing my mother and I was never charged with anything but I was taken off Moroi rotation for the time being, I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a permanent thing." I pulled away from him completely, I have no idea what he did and I don't know if I like where this is going.

"What did you do?" I growled at him, instantly annoyed at myself when I saw hurt flash through his eyes before his whole face hardened up.

"If you're going to hate me before I even told you what happened, I don't see the point." I couldn't believe at how cold and angry he sounded.

I sat there dumb funded as to what just happened as he got climbed out of the bed and got dressed before leaving the apartment, I heard the door slam behind him and that was when the tears welled up in my eyes.

I buried my head in my knees as the tears fell, I didn't mean to react like I did. I don't even know why I did but he wouldn't even let me explain or explain himself.

I felt the bed dip beside me as arms came around me, "Nik?" I questioned without lifting my head.

"Nope better," I heard Damon's mixed English accent and my head instantly snapped up and I saw both Damon and Josh sitting on the bed with me.

"What are you doing here?" I sat up and wiped away my tears and they moved around and sat on the bed properly.

"Izzy and Eric's Christmas break has started so we're back here for the time being, we're flying out to see their families two days before Christmas."

"We came to see you but a very pissed off Nikolaus happened to open the door before we could even knock, he slammed the door but didn't lock it so we could come in." I stared at Damon and Josh, I still couldn't believe what they were doing here. I haven't seen them in so long.

"I've missed you," I spoke softly but all they did was laugh before leaning over and hugging me and I gladly hugged them back.

"Have you spoken to Bri?" Damon questioned when he pulled away and I nodded.

"When we can, it's harder for her because she isn't friends with her Moroi and I've constantly got people breathing down my neck."

"Speaking of necks, why don't you have your tattoos?" Josh questioned and I instantly lowered my gaze, I was hoping they didn't notice.

"I refused…" both of their mouths fell open and I wanted to laugh at their actions but it couldn't come out.

"Why?" I shook my head at Damon's question, Nik hadn't even questioned why I refused, he has left it alone. "Dri tell us, we've never had secrets."

I took a deep breath before resting my head on my knees, "I was the only one that came out of it alive, Clary was killed and there was some other poor innocent girl in there as well. She was in there for weeks, constantly screaming, she never stopped until one day it did and she was dead. Everyone died and I was the only one left alive by some pure miracle, I can't get the tattoos that represent the deaths of Clary and that poor girl." Tears fell from my eyes and Damon instantly moved so he had an arm wrapped around me.

"Dri a lot of Guardians have the tattoos that represent the death of someone else, it's just a part of the future we don't get a say in. We know this, we've been raised to know that our future is mostly out of our hands. The only say we get is the friends and family we keep, you've got Nik who has stuck by you through everything. There were moments when he rang us and there was minutes of silence because he had to stop and walk away for a moment, the phone was always on speaker so we could all hear what he was saying and hear him when he returned."

"I know Bri told me but what is your point."

"My point is, after everything his stuck by you but yet we just witnessed that. What the hell happened?" I shook my head grateful that we have moved away from the topic of my tattoos.

"I messed up, he was telling me why he was sent to St Vladimir's in the first place. I didn't mean to sound as angry as I did and that's when he lost it, he thought I hated him before he even told me what happened."

"What did happen?"

"I've got no idea Josh, all I know is that he may be permanently off Moroi rotation."

"That's why he's at Court, we just assumed Hathaway and Belikov had some pull and had him stay here in hopes of him helping you."

"Not at all, I knew he was staying before you all left."

"Interesting, wonder what really happened. You know you have to apologise?" Josh spoke and I nodded before taking a deep breath.

"I know I do but he just sounded so angry, I don't know where to begin or even where to find him. I barely leave the apartment." I spoke softly while attempting to push my tears back.

"Speaking of leaving the apartment you are coming with me, get dressed." Damon demanded and I raised an eyebrow at him before looking at Josh.

"Oh I'm not involved in this at all, I want no part." Josh held his hands up and now I was really curious.

"If you trust me Dri, you would get dressed and come with me somewhere today." I always hated it whenever Damon and Bri through the whole if you trust us you will willingly follow us without instructions.

I let out a groan before getting out of the bed and having a quick shower so I could follow Damon, to whatever he had planned for us. Josh said a quick bye with the promise of seeing me another time.

"What the hell are we doing here Damon?" I hissed at him the moment I realised where he took me.

"You said you trust me, we've never had secrets. Nothing you can say in there will cause me to judge you, I know the true nature of the meeting about you and Nikolaus was kept from Josh and I but I'm assuming Nikolaus felt something towards you because of how quickly things happened between the two of you and I still don't care. I can tell he cares deeply for you and that's all I want for you, is your happiness but right now, you need to heal, you need to move on from what happened and the only way it will happen is if you talk to someone about it. You went through so much and bottling it up, refusing to talk to anyone won't help. I'm not forcing you to do this because I want you to become a Guardian again, I'm doing it because I love you and I'm worried about you."

"You and Bri have been talking behind my back." I snapped at him but all he did was wrap his arms around me, I refused to return the hug.

"We have, but only because we love you and are worried about you. If Bri was at Court she would be here forcing you to do this as well. This is the next step and it's needed, I will sit there beside you holding your hand the whole time if it's what you want but you will go in there."

"You're going to have to carry me in there." I grumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear me but when I was picked up and thrown over his shoulder, I knew he heard me.

When he sat me down on the couch I crossed my arms and glared at him but all he did was sit down beside me.

"Adrianna I'm glad you could make it," I didn't even turn to look at female that the voice belonged too, I didn't want to be here and I couldn't believe Damon forced me too.

I also couldn't believe that both Damon and Bri organised this behind my back, I couldn't believe they did this and I couldn't believe Josh couldn't convince them it was a stupid idea.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading and has set alerts for my story, it means a lot to me. Please review!