The notifications on Chapter 53 didn't work when I published it. I tried to contact everyone who follows/favorites this story to make sure they were aware. If I missed you, I'm sorry. A few of you don't have PM and I may have missed a couple of you as I was going through. I tried not to, but I'm only human.
With that said, if you haven't read Chapter 53, you may want to go back a chapter and do that, before you read this chapter.
Bahrfamily and I both give you our sincerest apologies on how late this chapter is. I've had two week-long vacations and packed my husband off for to school in another state, since the last chapter was published, and Bahrfamily has been dealing with a weeks-long migraine, all of which have delayed this.
Hopefully we are back on track and Chapter 55 will be out more quickly!
Characters- yeah, I haven't left a list in awhile, but there are a few characters from earlier in the story I thought I should put in here as reminder.
Danika- Dauntless nurse, trainer, she was a close friend of George. She understands that she needs to hide people who are aware during the simulations.
Renee- the other trainer. Natalie believes that she is a spy from Erudite.
Steven- Marisa's husband, making him Erik's father.
Lucas- a Divergent that Hana and Natalie got out earlier in the story.
Chapter 54 Snake
Last year I didn't see Tori before she headed off to administer the Aptitude Test to half of the sixteen year old Abnegations. This year, she joins us for breakfast before she heads off to the school. She sits next to me, not Abilyn. I immediately notice what she is wearing and understand the significance of it. To the average person, like Bekah or Carly, it doesn't draw attention or mean anything. To me, it is her promise to George that she has not forgotten him, her pledge to him that she will keep it from happening to others, and her reminder to herself as to why she is ready to leave hours before she normally would even be awake. The black jeans and t-shirt mean nothing. It's the blazer, the jacket that she and George passed back and forth to see eachother when he was in training and she wears today, that tells me everything I need to know. Any Abnegation who is Divergent that Tori tests is in safe hands. She'll protect them.
I look over the note one more time before I send it to Natalie.
I found out today that Danika was sick yesterday and today. Renee did the first two days of testing. We may have to do something this year.
Her response is troubling.
Keep a watch out for an Amity named Paul. He's related to Jazz on his father's side. I'll let you know if I see or hear anything. Please do the same.
Renee is watching him like a cat watches a mouse.
Can you meet me tomorrow at one AM at my old room? We have plans to make.
Giving Eli a light kiss, I slip out of bed at a quarter to one. He doesn't stir, but he knows where I am going, so if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he will know where I am. I slept in sweatpants and a t-shirt tonight, so all I need to do is slip on my shoes and I'll be ready to go. After a quick peek in on each of the boys, a moment to straighten Ezekiel up in his bed and another to cover Uriah back up, I slip out of the apartment.
It's the first time we've had to get someone out of Dauntless since Danika took over the fear simulations, and I wonder: if she hadn't gotten sick at the wrong time, would we be meeting tonight?
The lights are already on when I get to Natalie's old room, but she isn't lounged in the chair like she normally is. This time she is at the kitchen table, sitting backwards on the chair. Tension is etched on her face.
"Is everything okay?" I ask as I join her at the table.
"It's just so hard to know what to do, to know what the right answer is." She plants her elbows on the table and cradles her forehead in her hands. "I don't want to tip Jeanine off by pulling out people if we don't have to, but…I can't risk another Marisa. I just don't think I can do it again." A couple of tears slip from her eyes. "I didn't do anything, and she's dead."
"How's her son?" I ask timidly. I've worried about him, worried about how he is doing without a mother and being raised by a murderer.
Natalie takes a deep breath. "Steven is raising him to hate the Divergent. He is poisoning him with lies about who they are and what they can do. He reminds him, almost daily, of what they did to his mother."
"That's awful." It is, but it is more than awful. I just don't know how to convey that.
"It is worse than that. Jeanine has taken a personal interest in him. He spends time with her alone in her private lab. Who knows what is happening in there?" Natalie finishes softly.
We are both silent, both lost in our thoughts about Eric and the life he has had since his mother's death.
"I don't know about any of the other factions, but we haven't pulled anyone out of Dauntless in years. Not since the train crash," I say softly, bringing us back to the matter at hand.
"It's been quiet for a couple of years," Natalie agrees. "But there needs to be a reason he would kill himself or it just attracts more notice. We've learned over the years when we have pulled people out that we need the motivation behind someone committing suicide or there are too many questions."
For a moment, I am stumped. I think about everything I know about Paul and his class, and it isn't much. There's no Jazz, no reason to sit close to them. Since Natalie's message, I've watched him from across the cafeteria. There is a red-head he sits next to at meals. I saw them at the Chasm. Wait! No, he used to sit next to her. He sat next to her every day, every meal, for the first couple of weeks, but this week he sat on the other end of the table, and the red-head sat next to another boy in her class. She was at the Chasm with the other boy last night, too. Walking to put up my dishes last night, I overheard Danika complain to Renee that she wished they wouldn't start dating until after Initiation. When I'm confident in my observation, I exclaim, "His girlfriend broke up with him!"
Startled, Natalie raises her head and looks up at me. "What?"
"I'm pretty sure Paul's girlfriend broke up with him earlier this week. I saw her and another guy at the Chasm the last couple of nights. Paul isn't taking it well. Renee told Danika she was afraid he would do something stupid."
Natalie looks at me with a determined gleam in her green eyes. "Jumping into the chasm would be stupid, wouldn't it?"
I feel the barest smile on my lips. "Jumping into the Chasm would be very stupid," I agree.
The guilt doesn't trouble me the day of Paul's funeral, not like it did at Lucas's, or George's and nothing like the day after the train accident.
But after all of those deaths with the train accident, the unknown number of people who really died, the damage done to Marley's face, and Amar's memory loss… I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this time that Natalie and I have done the right thing. Paul may be dead in our city, but he lives on somewhere beyond the fence.
And that is worth all of Dauntless thinking he is dead.
I shift the backpack on my shoulder as I push open the doorway to Abram and Evan's place. Usually, Abram is seated on the broken down couch, waiting for us when we get here, but today his place is empty. There is a worn black blanket with blue and yellow patches in a heap by his corner of the couch. "Abram? Evan?" I call out, worried about what it might mean if neither of them is here.
A man a little older than me walks out of the hallway. "Can I help you?" He wipes his hands on a yellow towel, then sticks it in his back pocket.
"Where are Abram and Evan?" Fear grips my heart.
"Who wants to know?" He sounds suspicious.
We're getting nowhere trading questions. One of us is going to have to be brave and give the other some information before we go any further. "I'm Abram's daughter-in-law. Where is he?"
He looks at me warily for a moment and then gives a brisk nod, like he's decided to trust me. "You're early. Abram will be out in a minute. I was helping him clean up before you got here. Evan should be back momentarily."
I bite my lip, wondering if I dare to ask who he is, and why he's helping Abram, when Abram shuffles his way into the room. "Hana!" His voice is weak, but he sounds excited to see me. He looks around for a second. "Where are those boys?"
"They're coming. Eli was running late, and Ezekiel wouldn't leave without Dad, and Uri wouldn't come without Ezekiel…" I trail off at the end of my explanation.
"Ah, the age of hero worship." Abram sits on the couch with a sigh of relief. "Do you ever wonder…"
At first I'm puzzled by the way his sentence trails off, but then I see the tears in his eyes and I realize he's thinking about our Angel. Had she lived she would be seven now. "Often."
The stranger picks this time to clear his voice and speak again. "I take it you'll have company until Evan gets back."
"Yes. Thank you for your help," Abram tells him.
"I'll be just down the hall if you need me." He walks down the hall he indicated.
I wait until he's out of sight before I ask the question I'm dying to know the answer to. "Who is he?"
"There's another Abnegation angel, besides Natalie. This one only comes around after dark, but she hasn't just been helping us, she's been organizing all of us. She found out about how long I've managed to survive here and talked to Evan and me about it. She's taking us as a small scale model and encouraging everyone to form our own communities. We've added a couple to our group already."
"The guy who was here?" I ask hesitantly.
Abram pauses to take a drink before he answers. "He's one of them. He… he used to work in the ambulances. He has some medical training. She thought he should be with me in case I need anything."
"And there are more?" Suddenly I wonder if Abram and Evan are going to get all the food they need if they have to share what we bring with too many more. We really can't sneak out much more than we do.
"There are, but don't worry. Natalie and Isaac have started organizing more help for us. There is a nearly regular food distribution from the Abnegation now. That's where Evan is right now, picking up rations for himself and me. Evan doesn't like me to be alone, so one of the people in our group always stays with me when he does things like this." I notice Abram doesn't use names. I wonder if that is intentional.
"This lady who comes at night, she's Abengation, right?" I want to see if Abram can give me any clues to help me figure out who she is.
"Yes." His answer is short.
"What's her name?" I ask point blank.
Abram mutters, "I've never been good with names. Her first name escapes me. Her surname is Johns, Jones, Johnson - yes, Johnson, if that helps any."
"No, I don't know her." Either she is a transfer, or my family didn't hang around with the Johnsons. I'm thinking she's a transfer.
"She's got grand plans, that one." Abram's chuckle turns into a cough.
I watch, concerned as he pulls out a black rag and presses it to his lips. When his coughing jag is over I ask him, "Are you alright?"
For a moment he looks at me, almost like he's trying to decide if he is going to tell me the truth or not. "I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to want you to bring the boys around."
I look at him in disbelief. I can't believe he doesn't want his grandsons around.
He must read it in my face. "It's not that I don't want to see my grandsons. It's just, I'm getting worse. I don't want them to remember me the way I'll be at the end."
I think about my own grandpa. The last time I saw him, I was a little older than Ezekiel, maybe ten or eleven. He was a skeleton, unable to eat from the chemo, barely functioning. It was selfish for me to stay away when I could comfort him. It was selfish of him to want me there.
It's the dilemma of the Abnegation. If it is selfish not to help someone, and yet helping them forces them to accept the help, what is the best option? My family decided that since we kids needed to learn selflessness, Grandpa was going to have to deal with us being there for him.
"If this kitchen is not cleaned up to my satisfaction, no one is going to Lynn's birthday party tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?" I look from Ezekiel, to Uriah, to Eli and back to our sons. I want Eli to understand that even though everyone agrees he didn't do anything to create the mess in my kitchen, I was at work. This happened on his watch. I hold him responsible.
The boys look at Eli, hoping that their father will give them some type of a reprieve. Lynn's birthday party is set to be the most awesome birthday party ever, and no one wants to miss it.
Abilyn's announcement of Lynn's party caused all of us parents look at her like she's crazy and groan. On the other hand, all of the kids got impossibly excited. As the oldest in that age group, Lynn has the first birthday, and it feels like they are setting the bar impossibly high for the rest of us. "Lynn's the middle child," Abilyn defended what they were doing. "She gets lost sometimes between Shauna and Hector. She's been going through a tough time lately, feeling a little forgotten. Taking her and her friends to Lincoln Park to play Capture the Flag is a way to let her know she matters."
The boys look pleadingly at Eli. Capture the Flag at the abandoned zoo: they don't want to miss that. Eli clears his throat. "You heard your mother. If you want to go to that party, you'd better get busy. I need to talk to your mom and then I'll come help you."
Both boys brighten up at the prospect of Eli helping them.
Eli leads me to the family room and sets me on his lap, although he can tell from my posture that I'm not happy with him. "I'm sorry. They were being so quiet, that I really thought they were…"
I can't stop myself from interrupting him with a laugh and a shake of my head. "Really, Eli?" We've been parents for over eight years now, and you still haven't figured out that when they are being quiet, they are up to something? I'd rather have them bickering with each other than have everything be totally quiet."
"You're right. You're right. I should have known something was going on. I just never figured they were destroying your kitchen. Will you forgive me?" He hangs his head and looks up at me, imitating Uriah when he knows he's in trouble.
I can't stop myself from smiling as I shake my head at him. Eli takes that as a good sign and leans in to kiss me. I find myself kissing him back. I'm not sure how long we kiss before I hear the first voice. "Eeuww, gross!" I open my eyes and see Uriah walking away.
"Go to the Chasm." Ezekiel rolls his eyes. "I bet you two spent a lot of time there when you were dating."
Eli and I pull away and laugh. Eli is the one who responds with a chuckle in his voice, "You have no idea how much time I spent with your mother making out at the Chasm before we were married. One day, when you're older, and already a member of Dauntless, I'll tell you, but today, go help your brother clean the kitchen while I kiss your mother on the couch."
"Uri's right. You two are gross," Ezekiel mutters as he heads back to work.
"You know, even though it's your birthday, you're going to be covered in paint, right?" Uriah taunts Lynn as we finish breakfast the next morning.
For a boy who only got to come because his father finished scraping the mystery goop off my stove last night after he went to bed, he sounds awfully cocky.
Lynn tosses her long medium-brown hair off her shoulders. "What makes you think that? Maybe you're the one who will end up wearing the paint."
Uriah makes a snorting sound. "Hardly. You're a girl. If you don't end up with all the paint on you, it will be because everyone is afraid you'll cry on your birthday if you do."
A scowl twists Lynn's features. "Really? We haven't set teams yet. Let's make it easy. We'll do girls against boys."
Uriah thinks for a minute. "Who all is coming?"
"The teams would be even." Lynn doesn't give him a direct answer.
Uriah doesn't notice that. "You're on."
Marlene skips up right then with Helena laughing and trying to catch up. "I almost didn't get to come!" she announces with a smile. "Dad's throwing up, and Mom won't leave him."
"How did you get to come?" Lynn asks.
"Helena, mom's friend from the infirmary, volunteered to take me! Isn't she the greatest?" Marlene doesn't give their true relationship. Helena is Bekah's cousin, but since she and Bekah came from Erudite, Marlene doesn't know that.
Lynn picks up her tray and grins at Marlene as she imparts the latest information to her. "Uriah thinks the boys are going to cream the girls."
Uriah picks up his to follow them. "Why on earth wouldn't we? Zeke, Gabe, and I are on the same team."
Lynn smirks at him as they walk off. "And so are James and Hector."
Uriah stops in his tracks. "Hector's playing?"
"You don't think I'd leave my little brother out, did you?"
"Is Uriah still pouting?" Lynn asks with a fork poised over cake. There is a streak of blue on the shoulder of her shirt, a smudge of pink on her chest, and a dash of green that someone put on her cheek. She didn't get as much paint on her as Uriah did, and since the girls won, she is smug in the fact that she didn't.
I look around the area and realize for the first time that I haven't seen Uriah since the boys lost to the girls. I make a mental note that I need to try to find him. "I guess so."
Lynn shakes her head, causing her hair to swirl slightly. "I can't believe he's such a pansycake, to sulk through the Dauntless cake Angie made for my birthday. Mom is starting to pass out seconds. If he doesn't show up soon, he'll miss out on it completely." She walks away, looking for another one of her friends.
I stand up and look for Eli. There is no way Uriah would miss cake if he realized it. A small band of fear grips my heart, wondering where he is. Eli is talking with Ben and Rob. I put a hand on his arm and wait impatiently for Rob to finish talking. "Eli, have you seen Uriah since the game ended?"
Eli looks around at the kids either eating or running around. "No, I haven't."
"I'm going to go look for him. It's not like him to miss cake, even if he did lose." I start to move away.
"I'll come with you." Eli moves to leave the guys.
Ben and Rob exchange a look. "We'll look with you," Rob says.
Ben nods. "I'll take this direction." He points towards where the girls hid their flag.
Rob looks at Eli. "Which way do you want me to go?"
Eli thinks for a moment, then points in the direction of where they boys hid their flag. "Hana and I are going to go this way. That was the last way I saw him go, but just in case…" He points to the direction where I last saw Uriah.
We start off quickly. After we are out of sight, Eli grabs my hand. "He's okay, Hana."
I smile back weakly. "I'm not worried." I try to put a little more confidence in my voice than I feel.
Eli kisses my forehead and tells me softly, "Well, I am."
We take turns yelling his name and it doesn't take too long before we think we hear a response. "Uriah!" I yell louder and start running towards his voice.
Eli catches up with me, suddenly pulls me to a stop, and bellows, "Listen!"
I hear three sounds: Uriah yelling for us, a continuous rattle, and my heart pounding.
"Uriah, don't move." Eli's voice is calm and reassuring as he moves slowly towards Uriah. I start to move with him, but he says firmly, "Hana, stay back."
I look at Uriah, frozen in place. I try to mimic Eli's tone as I call out to him, "Listen to Dad."
Eli keeps moving, slowly, deliberately towards Uriah. When he is almost there he give Uriah his instructions. "Uri, I want you to move as slowly as you can backwards. No sudden moves. Just nice and slow."
My eye flicks to the snake poised to strike. The snake sits on a rock, coiled in almost an S, with its tail in the center moving too fast for me to see it clearly and its head up, watching Uriah. My heart pounds as I look back at Uriah. He's moved half a step backwards. He moves his other foot back onto the next rock. As soon as he puts his foot on it, I realize the rock isn't steady. I try to cry out to him, but my voice is frozen.
Eli is closer to Uriah, and he realizes Uriah's predicament at the same moment I do. It is a moment like lightening and the coming of spring all at once. Everything moves so quickly that I can't keep track of it all, and yet so slowly that I seem to catch every detail: Eli lunging and pushing Uriah down; both of them falling, the snake darting forward; the snake disappearing. When the snake disappears I am no longer mute.
I scream.
For a moment I am frozen in place, terrified and unsure of what just happened. Uriah's arm moves, then Eli lifts his head. "Uri?"
"I'm fine." I know my son's voice. He's trying not to cry.
The sound of it propels me to action and I sprint the short distance to them. "Are you both okay?" I ask breathlessly.
Eli sits up and helps Uriah to sit up also. "Son?" he asks Uriah.
Uriah closes his eyes for a moment, taking a mental inventory. "I'm fine." His voice is closer to normal.
Eli slowly flexes his right ankle. "I think I twisted my ankle. It's sore, but other than that I'm okay."
"We'll take it slow going back." I smile, relieved that the worst injury we have out of this is a twisted ankle. I put a hand out to help each of them up to their feet. Uriah takes my hand and stands quickly. Eli sits up, but stays on the ground. "I think I need to rest it for a few minutes before I put any weight on it."
Uriah looks panicked at the idea of his father being hurt.
"Uriah, what happened?" I ask in an attempt to distract him.
"I was trying to avoid Lynn. She was gloating about her win, and I just didn't want to listen to her anymore." Uriah sounds like he's trying to defend his actions.
"Go on." The almost urgent tone in Eli's voice causes me to look at him again. He's sweating.
Uriah swallows hard. "I was walking over the rocks when one of them slipped. It rolled and… and… suddenly the snake was there. It's tail was rattling and… I couldn't move. I was too scared to." Uriah hangs his head as he confesses his fear to us.
"Even in Dauntless, sometimes fear is a good thing." Eli reassures Uriah.
Uriah smiles tentatively at his dad. "Really?"
I look at Eli. There is something wrong with him, something he doesn't want Uriah to know. "Uriah, why don't you run ahead and get Helena."
"Helena?" Uriah looks puzzled.
"She's Bekah's friend from the infirmary. She brought Marlene," Eli reminds him quickly.
Uriah thinks for a moment. "I think I remember her."
"If you don't, ask Marlene."
Uriah brightens and takes off at a near run, his eyes glued on where he is stepping.
I sit on the ground next to Eli. "Eli, what's going on? A twisted ankle shouldn't be causing you this much trouble!"
Eli swallows. "I should have told Uri to bring us back some water."
I look at him, amazed at how he can think of water at a time like this. I struggle to keep the panic out of my voice. "Eli."
Eli sighs and admits, "I don't think I twisted my ankle."
Instantly I kneel and move his pants leg so I can see his ankle. I roll down his sock and see twin angry red marks on his skin. "You were bitten." I'm surprised at how calm my voice is.
Eli nods. "I know."
"Why..." I don't know how to finish my question, so I just stop after that one word.
"I didn't want Uriah to know. I didn't realize…" He stops talking.
"He's going to know," I tell him, trying to figure out what I need to do.
"I know." Eli's eyes close. I watch him breath. I match my breaths to his, like that will help him to breathe better. Suddenly his eyes pop open. "Hana." His voice is desperate.
"Yes." Someone yells our names, and I yell back.
"Remember your promise." His voice is intentionally soft.
My promise? My forehead wrinkles as I try to remember what I promised Eli that he would feel the need to remind me of now.
His voice is even softer as he hears people getting closer. "Natalie."
It hits me what he's talking about with that one word, and it shoots a tendril of fear through my heart.
I promised Eli I would quit working for Natalie if anything happened to him.
I made the observation to Bahrfamily recently that I'm playing two huge games of connect the dots right now. The first one is the story itself. I am "connecting the dots" between parts of this story that are already written. (There are 50 pages after this chapter already written, and more pages that need to be added! I'd say we have at least 100 pages left to go.) The second game is connecting the dots between the "Divergent World" and the "Dauntless Gray" world. This chapter has four different items put in to intentionally tie the two worlds together. If you think know what they are, leave me a review or a PM. I'd love to know how many you caught!
Kudos to BK2U who caught two that I had put in there, but for some reason I didn't think to count. The total is actually six.
