The Uncanny Kid Razor

Disclaimer: "How can we be expected to teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?" – Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, Zoolander

Chapter 53: Psycho Circus, Part 3!

An apartment building in Cleveland, Ohio

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Bobby Parkins walked up to the front door of his apartment. He was dressed in a black shirt with black slacks and a matching jacket. "Geez…" He started to mumble. "I'm already worried enough about going out with-" He opened the door. "Joanie…" He noticed Joan Frehley standing at the door with a smile on her face. She was dressed in a slinky, yet conservative dark blue dress. Her long brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail.

"Hi, Bobby." Joan smiled.

"Oh, uh…" Bobby laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neatly-combed head. "Um…hi, Joanie. You, uh…" Man, I hate this. As myself, I get nervous about complimenting a woman, yet as Kid Razor, it's the other extreme! "Uh…well…" Joan shook her head with a smile.

"Come on, Bobby. I don't have all night…" Joan teased.

"You look great." Bobby quickly complimented with a grin. He turned around. "I'm going now, Mom! I'll see you later."

"Okay, Bobby!" A feminine voice responded. "Have fun! Be careful, and don't stay out too late!"

"We won't!" Bobby answered.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Parkins!" Joan called, taking Bobby's arm in hers. "We'll be fine! I'll take good care of Bobby!"

"Oh, ha ha." Bobby rolled his eyes.

In front of a restaurant

Some time later, a car pulled up in front of a nice-looking restaurant. Bobby looked up at it from the driver's side of the car.

"Wow, Joanie…" Bobby blinked in amazement. "I've heard about this place while channel-surfing. This place is expensive. How'd you…"

"Being the daughter of one of the most influential newspaper men in Cleveland helps." Joan grinned. She was referring to her father Thomas Frehley, who owned the Cleveland Star, the only other major newspaper in Cleveland. (1) "I made reservations here for us."

"Oh, thank God. I was hoping that you wouldn't mind us going to McDonalds or something." Bobby unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Don't get me wrong, Bobby." Joan chuckled. "Normally, I'd love to scarf down Big Macs with you, but I felt tonight, it should be special."

"Why?" Bobby narrowed his eyes. Oh, God! Don't tell me I forgot our anniver…no, that was last month.

"Oh, just cause." Joan grinned. "Now come on, Bobby! Let's enjoy the night!"

The Tiboldt Family Circus, Cincinnati, Ohio

Spencer and Eugene carefully walked back towards the main entrance of the Big Top. Spencer was suspicious of the circus, so he and Eugene took a look around.

"Are you sure you're not just worrying too much?" Eugene asked the young inventor.

"I'm sorry, man." Spencer sighed. "It's just something's been nagging me in the back of my mind ever since I came up to this Big Top, you know? It's like I've heard of this place before, but I can't put my finger on how and why…wait…" Spencer held up his hand. "You hear something?"

"No." Eugene blinked. "Wait…I don't hear anything."

"Exactly." Spencer nodded. "You'd think a circus would make more noise than this in the middle of a show."

"Something's gotta be up." Eugene realized. "Unless they closed early."

"I doubt it…" The young hero shook his head. They carefully crept up to the main entrance. They peeked in, and heard noises.

"Quickly, you fools!" The Ringmaster snapped. Various members of the circus were running around in the stands, taking money and jewelry off of people, and placing them into sacks. "Cincinnati is a Local Hero town! It won't be long before we get that fool Sonic Blue here!"

What he doesn't know is he's already here… Spencer thought. And he isn't alone. "Of course!"

"What?" Eugene blinked.

"Of course! How could I have been so stupid? Doy!" Spencer smacked his forehead with his palm. "I've heard of these guys from the Avengers' files! They're the Circus of Crime!"

"The Avengers have faced them?" Eugene blinked.

"Spider-Man and Daredevil have." Spencer nodded. "So has the Hulk. Thor, too. I think the She-Hulk encountered them as well. She even got hypnotized into being one of their attractions."

"I bet they used her as a strongwoman and put her in a revealing outfit." Eugene snickered.

"I dunno." Spencer shrugged. "I never got to find out. I asked her once, and she clammed up quick."

"I suppose we should stop these guys, huh?" Eugene remembered.

"We are superheroes. It's what we do." Spencer shrugged, pulling back his shirt's sleeve. It revealed the blue, silver, and black watch that he made to summon his mighty armor.

"Oh yeah." Eugene grinned, showing his own green, gold, and black watch. The two boys pressed the transformation buttons. Spencer Burton and Eugene Patilio disappeared in flashes of light. In their places stood Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man. "Let's rock!"

"Heh." Spencer smirked. "Just like Razor." Meanwhile, back inside the tent, The snake charmer called Princess Python had gotten up to a hypnotized Delilah Burton, who was staring ahead blankly, like everyone else in the audience.

"Heh." The Southern woman smiled. "This has gotta be our easiest job yet. No sign of any cops or superheroes anywhere. Ah dare say we should come here more often."

"Do the tourist trade a favor. Please change your mind." A familiar voice told the snake trainer as she felt a breeze on her. Princess Python looked up and saw Sonic Blue. The Iron Speedster waved.

"Hello!" Spencer greeted. Using his speed, he grabbed Princess Python's bag.

"Hey!" She screamed indignantly. "Give that back, you little brat!" She swiped for it, but with a FWOOSH, Spencer quickly moved so he was behind her.

"Night-night!" Spencer grinned, pointing his hand at her face. His blue-armored gauntlet started firing sonic waves at the Southerner's face. Princess Python tried to move to strike Spencer again, but she found herself feeling very tired.

"Oog…" She sighed. "Ah feel…tired. Ah go sleepy now." She smiled as she started to sway. She then fell into Spencer's arms, snoozing happily. "M'sleepy…zzzzzzzz…"

Huh. I can't believe that worked. Spencer thought. I knew that sonics at certain frequencies could stimulate certain parts of the brain. Good thing I found the frequency that stimulates the sleep center.

"What the-?" Ringmaster wondered out loud. The rest of the Circus stopped dead in their tracks.

"That's right, Circus of Crime!" Spencer called out loud. "Your little tour of thievery…ends right here in Cincinnati!"

"Here I come to save the day…" Eugene sang out in a cheesy superhero voice as he leapt into action. He dropkicked the Ringmaster in the back, knocking him on his chest, and his hat off his head. The hat flew into the air, and Frog-man caught it. "Hey, nice hat!"

"Frog-Man!" Spencer yelled out. "Gimme the hat! I can use it to free these people from their trances!" Eugene nodded, and he was about to throw the top hat like a frisbee, when…

"I don't think so, buddy!" A bald man dressed in red pants, black boots, and a pair of black sashes crossed like an 'X' over his bare chest snapped, holding a wand with a flame burning on the end of it. He used it to spit flames at the young hero.

"Yipe!" Eugene quickly ducked the flames, but it caused him to throw the hat.

"D'oh!" Spencer winced. He quickly zipped down towards the center ring.

"Got it!" The Ringmaster grabbed his top hat and threw it back on his head. "Circus of Crime! Take there two fools down!"

"Aw, great." Eugene grunted. "As if things can't get any worse."

KABOOM!

An explosion erupted nearby.

"Oh, no…" Spencer moaned.

"Who the hell…" Ringmaster scowled.

"Alright, everybody!" Mr. Fahrenheit walked up through the smoke. "Hand over your money! And if you're a Hollywood director or music exec, hand over your…" He looked up at the audience. "…contracts? The hell?" He noticed the audience was hypnotized. "What's going on here?"

"Hi, Mr. Fahrenheit." Spencer sighed.

"You!" Mr. Fahrenheit's eyes widened when he saw Sonic Blue. "Heh." He smirked. "He's been waiting to toast your ass for some time. Wait a minute…" The flamethrower-wielding villain looked around at the Circus of Crime. "Who are you idiots?"

"You want to make fun of the Circus of Crime, punk?" The Ringmaster snapped.

"PUNK?" Mr. Fahrenheit snapped back. "Alright! That's it! There are quite a few things I hate: Sonic Blue, chicks who act like they're the hottest thing since sliced bread, and being called a punk!" He fired his flamethrowers at the Ringmaster, but the circus owner dodged them.

"That's it!" He snarled. "Circus of Crime, take care of this flaming idiot! And the two kids!"

"Anyone order a three-way brawl?" Spencer groaned.

Next: Psycho Circus, Part 4 The adventure and humor continues! Kid Razor has to deal with problems on his date with Joan Frehley, and the main event: Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man versus the Circus of Crime versus Mr. Fahrenheit in a three-way brawl!

(1) – In real life, Cleveland's only major newspaper is called The Plain Dealer.