You said jump in the boat, man. I said, no, you reach your hand. You said the storms that will come will be more than enough and alone, you cannot win.
"Anchor" – Satellites & Sirens
There is one love of Sammy Lieberman's life that none of his friends know about. His exploits with Abigail were well documented, and his friends had been thrown in the middle of his failed relationship with Ollie in the aftermath of his breakup. A couple of people knew about his "muffins for mouse ears" and a couple more knew about the slew of girls that had come at the beginning of Second Year. However, no one except the two people involved knew about the very brief tryst (okay, it was a moment really) that came during that lost summer in Sydney when Sammy's first year at the Academy gave way to his second.
Christian had left Sydney to spend the summer with Tara at the farm. Everyone knew how that had affected a reeling Ethan; his cold demeanor when they got back to the Academy said everything. Far fewer people knew how deeply it had hurt Sammy, even if he was privately professing to Kat that he was "so over it." Despite their different circumstances, the two found themselves in a very similar situation. Somewhere between coffee at the café and swims at the beach, they came to an understanding where they weren't exactly good friends but they could commiserate in their mutual misery without having to worry about judgment.
"Kat is off traversing the coast with Myles, Abigail is away at her retreat and Christian is with Tara at the farm," Sammy grumbled as they sat side by side on the sand after a particularly long day of playing soccer with some other townies at the beach. "It's official – this summer sucks."
Sammy had been working shifts at the restaurant in a vain attempt to make enough money to pay for classes this year. Ethan had been living in his father's shadow, basically acting as his personal assistant rather than as the assistant choreographer on the National Ballet's summer production. The hours for both were long and left them with little time to make new friends. It was easier just to hang out, an attachment of convenience more than anything.
"Yeah, well, at least the eye candy is delicious," Ethan murmured as he watched a pretty Italian tourist walk by. Her long, dark hair glimmered in the sun. Sammy watched her pass with a lack of enthusiasm. "Not your type?"
"I'm starting to think I don't have a type," Sammy said, brushing him off quickly. He didn't really want to think about having any kind of real feelings for anyone. The breakup with Abigail had been tough, and he was still getting over Christian. "I think it's more about the insides than anything else."
"I know what you mean," Ethan agreed. "I mean, like with Tara, she is pretty much everything I was never looking for. I always liked the mature girls, ones from the city who've seen the world. A little more experienced, if you know what I mean. Tara was a total innocent, so young."
Not really wanting to talk about his friend any longer, Sammy stretched out his legs before sinking to his back. Ethan lay down next to him, throwing his arm over his eyes absently to block out the sun. "Nothing is ending up like I thought it would," Sammy confessed. "I had this list of things that I wanted to achieve while I was at the Academy. I barely marked off any this year."
"A list? What was on it?"
"Disprove the validity of dance belts – those things are terrible. Get ballet on the Olympic roster," Sammy replied. "Fall in love so my heart takes over for my head."
Ethan propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Sammy. "Anything I can help with?"
Sammy knew in the moment that Ethan wasn't exactly asking to help with any one thing in particular, but he thought that maybe he understood more about Sammy than anyone else right then. He had been around enough dancers to sense these things, and with that question, Ethan was telling Sammy that he was okay with whoever he ended up being. It was the same blind acceptance that Kat had given him, the kind of thing he couldn't really grant himself yet. It was probably stupid, but that surge of emotion made him do the unthinkable. Before he realized it, he had wrapped his hand around Ethan's neck and drew him into a brief kiss. The tall blonde chuckled as he pulled away. He smiled down at Sammy and shook his head before falling back against the sand again.
"So about the Olympics," Ethan proposed, "I think I might have some ideas."
Ethan never really mentioned the kiss to Sammy, and he certainly never talked to anyone about it. It was a secret that Sammy took with him to his grave. Ethan never really thought about it again until he was on the beach for their departed friend's memorial service. He knew that the kiss hadn't really meant anything other than a basic human need in the moment. Sammy had wanted to feel connected, and Ethan, even if he didn't feel the same, had been willing to give it to him. Ethan had cared about his friend, and Sammy had loved him for it. It was just a moment, a breath in time, but it belonged to only them.
