It wasn't difficult for Loki to use his magic to whip up a heated tank for Charlie. It should have been a ten minute job and would have been if Thor had been content with a basic tank. But the Thunderer was not happy with the size of the tank Loki had created and asked for it to be made bigger so that Charlie would have plenty of space to stretch out.

Fair enough, Loki thought. He could see that maybe it was a bit on the small size for a seven foot snake, so he enlarged it. The tank was now the length of Thor's room and took up almost half of the width. The table and chair were knocked over as the tank spread out across the floor.

Thor nodded approvingly, but then he said in an apologetic voice, "It could be taller. Maybe with two levels or three. It is going to be Charlie's home, so it should be an interesting environment for him to explore."

Again, Loki agreed with his assessment and waved his hands so that the walls of the tank rose up to the height of Thor's chest. Another wave and the tank split into three separate levels connected by a series of holes and ramps and a secret tunnel or two.

"Perfect!" Thor praised, giving Loki a thumbs-up. "Although, it could be a bit big-"

"Thor, you did want Charlie to remain a secret, didn't you?" Loki patiently reminded him. "If I make his tank any bigger you'll be sleeping in the cupboard. That's not exactly discreet."

"I know, but he's just so sweet, aren't you, Charlie? You need looking after properly."

With no where to safely put Charlie Thor had been holding onto him as Loki worked. He laughed heartily when Charlie spat venom at him. The black goo arched over his shoulder and splattered against the wall.

"Give me time and I can convert one of the empty cabins into a real enclosure for him," Loki offered.

Thor beamed at him. "Really? You'd do that?"

"Why not? I rather like Charlie and the way he tries to kill you every five minutes. I just to need to work out how to make the sand."


The next three days surprisingly passed by without snake-related incidents. The Aesir kept themselves busy in whatever ways they could. Heimdall kept watch for the Earth; Val tried to take up knitting as a form of distraction from her cravings for alcohol; Bruce stayed in the lab, tinkering, and trying not to freak out; Korg ate a bag of flour; Tina was still hiding away somewhere in an unknown form, and Loki was still searching for her in between sessions of constructing Charlie's new sand-filled room; as for Thor, he spent most of his time trying to (unsuccessfully) train Charlie to play fetch, while also keeping him a secret.

On the fourth day Thor woke early as usual, muttered a few hasty prayers to his ancestors, and then looked under the bed to see if Loki was there. He was, this time in cat aspect.

"Did you sleep?" Thor asked quietly, just in case Loki was actually asleep. It was hard to tell when he was so tightly curled up with his eyes closed.

A few seconds passed before Loki replied.

[No.]

"Do you want to talk about it?"

[No.]

"Fine. We'll go for breakfast soon."

[Not hungry.]

Thor ignored him. It was the same argument every morning, but he knew that Loki would be in a better mood once he had eaten something and had time to shake the bad dreams off. Instead he walked the two steps to Charlie's tank and had a look through the glass for his new friend.

He couldn't spot him on the top level, or on the middle one, but that was okay because the process of deduction told Thor that Charlie must be at the bottom somewhere. He crouched down to look, but still could not spot the snake. But, again, Thor was still not alarmed as he assumed that Charlie must be hiding somewhere amongst the fake plants he had put in a few days ago.

However, there was something which was worrying Thor. Loki had said that Charlie was very lonely. That bothered Thor. Loneliness was no good for anyone. If only he could find a way to help Charlie.

Then his eye caught sight of Loki enjoying his morning roll about on the bed. The obvious thought occurred to him. It would require tack and diplomacy, qualities Thor was not renowned for.

"You know, I'm worried about Charlie being lonely," he began in an offhand manner.

[Hmm,] grunted Loki, wriggling about on his back and flexing his tail.

"If only there was another snake who could visit him," said Thor. He was lying it on thick now and he knew it.

[Uh-huh,] said Loki, scratching at the blankets.

"Maybe a mate for him."

[A mate?]

"Yeah, so if you don't mind-"

A choking noise came out from Loki's direction as though he were gagging on a hair ball. [You want me to mate with your pet snake?]

Thor was mortified at the thought.

"No!" he cried. "No, No! That came out wrong! That's not what I meant at all!"

[I should think so!]

"I meant mate as in friend or buddy, not what you...ugh, no!"

[Oh, thank goodness. What exactly do you want me to do?]

Thor shook his head and cleared his throat in an attempt to free himself from all the unpleasant imagery.

"Would you please turn yourself into snake," he intoned carefully, "get yourself in there and ask him what's up?"

[What's up?] Loki echoed derisively.

"Yeah, you know, shoot the breeze. Chew the fat. That's sort of thing. Guy talk, but between two snakes."

Loki's fur bristled.

[And I suppose you want me to buy him a drink as well? Play a friendly game of football?]

"Nothing like that. I just want him to have someone of his own kind to chat to. Go on. Don't tell that you're not curious to know what snakes talk about."

Loki licked one paw and then the other. And then he said, [I'm a shape-shifter, Thor. I already know what snakes talk about and its boring. It's all: hey, do you know what's the best thing about having no legs? Not tripping over! They're all so bitter about not possessing limbs. Never ask them what they think of opposable thumbs. You'll never hear the end of it.]

"Fine," Thor sighed. "I'll just have to content myself with singing your favourite song."

Loki froze. [What song?]

"Just a little ditty about your nerves and how I know to get on them."

He drew in a deep breath.

[Thor -]

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves! I know a song that'll get on your nerves all day long! And all night too, while you're trying to sleep."

Geese honking at the top of their voices while being slowly butchered had nothing on Thor in that moment. He knew how to sing well and he knew how to sing badly. And he could sing badly very well.

Loki instinctively tried to place his paws over his ears, but it just wasn't going to work. Oh, the agony!

[Thor -]

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves -"

Loki couldn't take it any more. The sooner he caved the less likely the song would stick inside his head.

[Alright, stop! I'll do it. Anything to make you shut up.]

Thor watched with smug satisfaction as his brother briefly turned back into his Aesir form before shrinking down again and then stretching out, turning into that of a snake with black and white scales arranged in a sort-of zig-zag pattern – an adder. He carefully scooped Loki up and opened the top of the tank

[Why am I doing this for you?]

"Because you're the best," Thor replied as he placed Loki inside.

Loki saw Thor's mouth move, but hadn't caught the words.

[What did you say?]

"You heard me."

[I have poor hearing, so speak telepathically.]

[I said that you're the best.]

Loki made some strange noise, something between a chuckle and a hiss, and then he pulled himself together.

[Where is he?]

[Try at the very bottom.]

Loki slowly slithered his way down through the levels, taking his time. Thor thought he was being obstinate, but really it always took him a few minutes to adjust to the snake's way of seeing. He had chosen a species with good eyesight and depth perception, but he was also receiving sensory feedback from the odour particles in the air. It took a little getting used to.

Tongue flicked out, tongue flicked back in, scooping in the flavour of the air. Sherlock Holmes understood the meaning of footsteps, knew what they meant by their size and depth, but snakes could get all that from tasting the air. He could taste that Charlie had been there fairy recently and had eaten some of the eggs Thor had pinched from the kitchen. Loki slithered forward, shooting out his tongue every second and following Charlie's odour trail down through the levels to the very bottom of the tank.

There he found himself navigating his way around all the junk Thor had placed there – the fake, plastic plants; the hair comb; the stuffed teddy bear - but he still could not spot the Rainbow Death.

[I can't find him, Thor.]

[Try by the rock. He likes to go there in the mornings.]

[Where did you get a rock from?]

[I just found it one morning.]

Loki crawled over to the rock, circling past the old shoe. If he had been able to perceive colours he would have seen that the rock had a pink tinged to it. He flicked his tongue out: the scent of Charlie was weaker here. Not good.

[Hello!] Loki called. [Anyone at home?]

[Hello, Loki,] said Tina the lump of pink rock.

Loki almost shed his entire skin there and then.

[Tina!] he cried, blinking blearily at the rock. [You're looking...well. Granite was always my favourite kind of rock.]

[Thank you. Although, actually, I'm quartzite. With some flecks of mica. But, you look great too!]

[Really? I've never liked snake skin.]

[Oh,] said Tina, uneasily, already unsure of what else to say. Thankfully, Loki was never short of words.

[It's a very organic look for you, Tina,] he said, crawling over the cracked flowerpot. [I thought that metal and plastic was more your thing.]

Tina hesitated for a moment before saying, [I'm trying to try new things. A little at a time.]

[Good for you.] Loki flicked his tail back and forth before blurting out, [I looked for you all over the ship. I thought that maybe you would never show yourself to me again. I thought that you must be very cross with me.]

[No! I thought you were cross with me. Well, you were, weren't you?]

[That's not your fault. I get grumpy sometimes and then I say things that I shouldn't. I'm sorry, Tina. Really.]

The pink quartzite became a little pinker, not that Loki was able to see that.

[I think maybe you're right about me..] she said, softly. [I do feel overwhelmed a lot of the time...]

[That's not true. I was being uncharitable -]

[Loki, I'm hiding as a rock inside of a snake tank.]

[Okay, so maybe it's a little bit true. But, in your favour, you chose to hide in the tank of a highly venomous, vicious snake. Not many people would be so bonkers as that. If it makes you feel any better I've been hiding under Thor's bed.]

Tina giggled.

[And what's so bad about being mad?]

[Ahem!] Thor thought loudly. He could have coughed out loud but then Loki would not have been able to have heard him. [Have you found Charlie yet?]

Loki attempted to roll his eyes at Tina, but found that he couldn't. So he settled for saying, [Thor's a twit. Have you seen Charlie at all today? Well, I say seen, but you don't have eyes.]

[Yes, about half an hour ago. He went that way.]

[Which way?]

[That way.]

[It would help if you could be more descriptive. Or be able to point.]

[I'm pointing with my voice, Loki. And I'm telling you that Charlie went that way.]

[Ah, I see.]

[Anything?] Thor asked, anxiously.

[Yes. Tina said he went that way.]

[Which way?]

[That way. I'm pointing with my voice.]

[That doesn't help at all.]

[No? That does surprise me.]

Tina huffed. [By the plastic cup.]

[Thank you,] said Loki. [Oh, and by the way, being a rock really does suit you.]

[Do you really so? Because I want to try stones next.]

[Oh, good grief. This is getting weird,] Thor thought accidentally very loudly. [Loki -]

[Stop nagging! I'm going.]

Loki reluctantly crawled off in the direction of the plastic cup. His tongue flicked in and out. Charlie had been there recently. He moved forward, turning his head from left to right. And it was because that he was looking from side to side and not downwards that he almost fell head first into the hole.

With a little wriggle here and a little wriggle there and with some careful flexing of his muscles, he managed to manoeuvrer backwards and was able to take a more considered look at the hole. Now to you and me the hole would look small, but to Loki in snake aspect it was like staring down, down into a bottomless well. This was a hole that ran deep into the ship. Charlie had gone where no snake had gone before or even should even think about going.

[Oh,] Loki said at first, but it didn't sound urgent enough, so he added, [Ah!], and then, [oh, dear!] for good measure.

[What?] Thor demanded, unable to see what was happening that far back into the tank.

[I've learnt something new about the behaviour of Charlie]

[What is it?]

[He can burrow. Really well.]

[What?!]

Thor bent down by the corner of the tank and lifted the whole thing up to see the hole on its underside.

[Careful!] Loki snapped, as he found himself sliding across the floor and was very nearly squashed by Tina and a rubber duck.

Tank still in his hands Thor looked down to see that there was a matching hole in the cabin floor. He dropped the tank. It fell back down with a loud bang.

[Careful!] Loki repeated. [You'll chip Tina!]

[It's okay,] said Tina. [I'm a 7 on the Mohs scale.]

"He could be anywhere on the ship! We have to find him!"

Thor waited impatiently for Loki to reach the top level before lifting him out. But then even in the midst of his panic he remembered that Loki had done it all as a favour to him. And because he had irritated Loki into it.

So, he held Loki the adder up in front of him and said in a loud voice, "Thank you for doing that.

[You're welcome. Oh, and Thor...]

"Yeah?"

[BLARGH! IT'S ME!]

"Ow..."


AN: Thanks for reading!


Cut Bit

"Tina, I'm sorry," Loki said to the white porcelain mug in his hand.

But it was not her.

Sighing, Loki placed the mug to his left. Then he picked up the next mug.

"Tina, I'm sorry."

Again, it was not her.

Another sigh. The mug joined the fifty other mugs he had already given an apology.

"Tina, I'm sorry."

And so on and so on.