A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm honored you like this story! It's been great therapy for me and hopefully for you too.
As we return to our story, our favorite couple is still talking; you know they have lots to work through. Hey, we wanted them to communicate, right? Now, go forth and read for yourself.
This my lovelies, is a bonus chapter because I'd started working on it immediately after Chapter 53 and I didn't want to wait another week to post it!
Hours later, House and Cuddy lay comfortably in the center of her bed; Cuddy's head lay propped against House's side. Two empty water bottles and an empty platter that just an hour earlier held an assortment of vegetables, cheese, and dip from Cuddy's refrigerator were on the floor next to the bed. Cuddy glanced at the clock and groaned at the time. "Oh God, it's midnight. I'll never get up in the morning."
"It's not like you have to work tomorrow."
"No, but you do, remember, you have a case."
"I'm consulting, that's not like having a real job."
Cuddy rolled her eyes.
"I'm on vacation woman."
"Yeah and you're supposed to be taking care of me."
"I could take very good care of you." He gave her a lecherous look and smiled mischievously.
"Pervert."
"You know you like it."
Cuddy chuckled. "This is amazing."
"What?"
"You and me here, just talking."
"Yeah, it's nice."
"What time do you want to go to the hospital tomorrow?" She asked as she removed her head from him and rolled over onto her stomach.
"Nice segue. Do we have to talk about that now?"
"Hey, I just asked."
"When we there, we get there."
"Okay."
"Seriously? You're just letting it go?" House sounded surprised she was willing to give up so easily.
"I'm not your boss anymore, House."
"I kinda miss those days."
"Sometimes, I do too."
"You know, you could be the boss of any hospital in this country."
"Oh I wouldn't say any hospital; besides, I don't think I'd want to do it again."
House looked at her curiously, surprised at her admission. "Cuddy, I made your life a living hell when you were in charge, but damn you always knew what you were doing. That hospital was one of the best in the country because of you. You brought in millions in donations, hired the best doctors, advocated patients rights, and you cared about the faculty and staff. Damn woman, you stood up to powerful assholes in three piece suits and singlehandedly took on the biggest insurance companies never backing down or breaking a sweat. You even kept that free clinic I hated so much, going during tough times."
"Wow. You really mean that?"
"Cuddy, you know me. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. What you did at Princeton-Plainsboro, you could do anywhere, trust me."
Cuddy looked at him with a huge smile of appreciation for what he'd said to her. He wasn't one to give compliments and she knew that he'd always respected her work even when he seemed to put it down. "Honestly, I had my moment and it was great but I'm past it now. There was something special about being Dean at Princeton. It came at the right time in my life at the right place…with the right people. It wouldn't be the same now. Besides, I really do enjoy working with patients and lecturing in the fellowship program allows me to pass on the years of experience I had as an Administrator. I didn't expect to be Dean of Medicine forever you know."
House closed his eyes tightly, the wrinkles in his forehead became more pronounced. He remembered all too clearly why she was no longer Dean. "I guess I sort of helped that along didn't I?" He asked, sadly.
"Yeah, I guess you did." Then she added, "I suppose everything happens for a reason."
"You can't be serious." He looked at her incredulously.
"What?"
"You think everything that happened to us happened for a reason?"
"Sometimes I have to believe that all of this wasn't just random and means nothing in the end."
"So it was all about a lesson?"
"Maybe. I don't know. Yes, some bad things happened but some good things happened too. You've changed. Right now, your mental and physical health is probably the best it's been since the infarction and finally, you and I and Rachel…we have a chance again to be a real family." She emphasized the word family and hoped it wouldn't scare him too much. Continuing her train of thought, she said, "Look at me…I've got a job that I really enjoy at one of the best institutions in the country. I have way more time to spend with Rachel than ever before and I've built a stronger relationship with my mom and sister. I met Sharon who is a wonderful person and a good friend to me and our daughters have become best friends. I even have time for myself now that I didn't have in Princeton. I feel less stressed and more relaxed than I did back then. Is that crazy?"
House heard what Cuddy said about family but decided to file it away for future reference. "No, it's not crazy until you realize that all of that good stuff is because I went crazy and drove my car into your house."
"I know but we also can't deny that right now at this point in our lives, we are probably happier…okay…more content than we were then even before things went south. Though I miss certain things about my old life, I like this one much better and…," she paused, then smiled up at him, "Even more so now that you are back in it." Cuddy reached over and took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers together.
"Yeah?" He asked, playfully.
"Yeah." She leaned over and pecked him on the lips.
"So everything happens for a reason eh?"
"You know its okay to believe that House. I mean, look at us, the way our lives have gone, the twists and turns they've taken and yet we always seem to be pulled back together."
"Destiny?"
"Maybe."
"I don't know about that."
"If you believed in God, you would think differently."
"I have a hard time believing in something I can't see, hear, feel, or touch."
Squeezing his hand she replied, "Sometimes, you have to just have faith. You have to let go of the control and just let things happen."
"Says the former control freak administrator."
"I've struggled with that. But I had to change, it was wearing me out."
I don't know if I can do that."
"Yes, you can, if you want to. I'm not saying you have to believe in God, but I am saying that some things are out of our control so we ought to stop worrying so much about them. We should spend that energy on the things we can control."
"Let God take over?"
"I was going to say, let things happen naturally, but God works too."
House turned on his side and rested his head on his free hand. "Do you remember Eve? The rape victim in the clinic a few years back?"
Cuddy thought for a moment. "Yes. She was pregnant. Very sad situation. What would make you think of her?"
"She knows about the things my dad did to me."
"You told her?" Cuddy asked with a look of surprise and hurt on her face. She had no idea he had told anyone else, much less a stranger.
"I was trying to get her to talk about what happened and face the reality of her situation. I didn't understand why she wanted to talk only to me and she kept telling me it because she sensed I'd been hurt too. I tried lying to her and telling her my grandmother had done that stuff to me. She didn't buy it; finally I told her it was my dad. Then she went on about how there has to be a reason for all the pain and if there's nothing after this life, then this is all for nothing...shit like that. Can you believe she actually thought that what happened to her was God's doing?"
"That's amazing, that you got her to talk by telling her about your dad."
"Whatever works, right? It gets better. She came to see me a few weeks ago."
"What?"
"Yeah. She finished her Masters in Social Work, married a doctor and is at this very moment, extremely pregnant, probably popped by now."
"Why on earth did she want to see you?"
"She came by to thank me."
"Wow."
"Yep. She told me that our talk helped her to heal and like you, she said out of everything bad comes something good."
"Is she happy now?"
"Yeah, she is. Her husband seems to be a good guy."
"That's wonderful House." Tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying?"
"I don't know."
"You don't cry without a reason."
"I just...think…it's so...nice that she came...to see you." She said in between sobs.
"Yeah it was, and yet I'm not crying," he said in a sarcastic tone.
She smacked him in the arm. "It's just that…here's someone who wasn't your patient, not really, and you took the time to talk to her and it changed her life."
"Cuddy," House said, attempting to downplay the significance of it all. "I didn't change her life, she did."
"Something really bad happened to her and by chance you were working in the clinic at that very moment when she needed someone. She chose you to talk to; you may have saved her life. Call it coincidence or chance or whatever but you can't deny that you made a difference. You were a part of her changing her life. Why can't you accept it?"
"I just don't know if I can believe in some great big plan."
"You don't have to believe in some great big plan. Just accept that you are a positive force in the world. I want you to believe in yourself, in your worth as a person. I know I do." She took her hand from his and gently caressed the side of his face. "You are special and you have a lot to offer the world, I will never stop trying to convince you of that."
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. "God that was cheesy. You seriously believe that shit?"
After she calmed down she said, "Yes, I do."
"You're insane."
"And so are you which makes us a great team, don't ya think? Now come on, let's go to bed. Rachel's going to be up at six and my mom is leaving." She rolled off the bed and picked up the water bottles and tray to take them into the kitchen.
"Wait, did you say you're mother's leaving? Hark! Are those angels I hear singing?"
"Oh shut up! I'm taking this stuff into the kitchen, be right back."
"Cuddy, maybe I should sleep on the couch?"
"Why?"
"Because your supertanker will be overtaking my side of the bed and I won't be able to sleep."
"You slept in here with me before."
"But your ass has grown since then. I mean its humongous now!" House held his hands about a foot apart and grinned.
"You're such an ass."
"Takes one to know one," he snarked back as Cuddy left the room with the water bottles and tray in hand. House pulled the covers down and got under them. He loved being in the bed with her again but he wasn't sure he would be able to keep his hands to himself. He wanted to ravish her, make love to her all night long but he wanted their third first time to be amazing and unhurried with the entire night ahead of them. They were both exhausted and what they needed now was sleep. He couldn't get the events of the night out of his head. He had never been one to believe in miracles or a higher power but he could not figure out exactly what forces were in play that brought him and Cuddy back together. All he knew was that he was thankful and determined to do everything within his power to make it work.
Cuddy entered the room a few minutes later and noticed House was already under the covers. She turned out the light and crawled into bed next to him. The room was dark except for the the moonlight which cast a faint glow on the bed. She rolled over to face him and they lay there, quietly letting their eyes adjust to the darkness.
"House?"
"Hmm."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," he said. Then he added, "What'd I do?"
She laughed. "For coming back."
"Did you have any doubts?"
"No."
House smiled in the darkness. "Cuddy, I don't want things to be the way they used to be between us."
"What?" Cuddy asked, confused.
"I want them to be better."
She smiled and moved over to his side of the bed and he pulled her close to him. She rolled over with her back to him and he lay on his left side and spooned her. His right arm wrapped around her waist and found its way underneath her top and he gently rubbed his palm soothingly over her skin.
Cuddy loved the way House was being intimate with her, yet not taking for granted they would have sex. They were moving slowly for a reason, once they took that step and made that commitment there was no going back. She took a deep breath and expressed her feelings.
"House, being with you like this…it just feels right. I've never felt so loved."
House smiled and kissed her hair. He whispered into her ear, "You know how much I want you Cuddy; I'll never stop wanting you. You turn me on and I can't stop thinking about you. You are the smartest, hottest, and sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on."
Cuddy smiled wide and turned in his arms slightly, enough where she could look at him. He grinned at her and raised his eyebrows suggestively. He leaned down towards her and kissed her tenderly, showing her as he always did, with his actions, just how sincere he was. The kiss was soft and sweet and sent shivers through both of them, it was a promise that whatever was to come, they were in it together. Finally, they broke their kiss and smiled at one another. She rolled over again so her back was snuggled tightly against his chest, with his hand once again resting on her stomach, underneath her top.
"House, there's one more thing."
"What's that?" He asked, placing soft kisses behind her ear.
"I want to massage your leg for you, like I used to."
"You do?"
"I've been thinking about it. Your pain is part of who you are and I want to understand it better and do what I can to help. I think it would be good for both of us if you would let me do that for you."
House smiled at her request. It had always been difficult for him to let her in when it came to his leg pain. When they finally had gotten together he had let her massage his leg a few times and she was truly happy to help him. While it meant a great deal to him, he thought her wanting to help was more out of guilt than anything else. He also worried she would perceive his disability as a weakness. He didn't want her to have to do things for him. But this time, things were different. This wasn't out of guilt, this was her wanting to become closer to him and understand his pain so she could understand him. He and Nolan had talked about this in great detail. If he wanted to form meaningful long-lasting relationships, especially with the people closest to him, he had to trust.
"Okay," he said.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," he whispered softly. "Come on let's get some sleep. Rugrat will be up in a few hours."
"Goodnight, House." Cuddy smiled to herself, happy that they had just overcome something that had once been a major obstacle in their relationship.
"Night, Cuddy," he said, holding her close. The last thought he had before he fell asleep was how much he loved the scent of her sandalwood shampoo and the feel of her soft, warm skin beneath his hands.
More romance, drama, hurt, comfort, and humor to come! Please leave your comments on the way out, they mean so much to all writers!
