Archer VI

I found myself alone on the porch when we returned to the house. The screams of combat receded from my mind, replaced by the quiet tranquility of Fuyuki's docile facade. Shirou, Rin, and Illya went straight to their rooms to crash after our exhaustive evening. Illya snuck into Shirou's bedroom a short while after. Amidst the midnight glow of the city lights I enjoyed a rare moment of peace.

My mind wandered onto Rider. Our fight untamed with raw emotion. Two mirrored opposites so similar, but with every microscopic difference magnified to create an image. He was who I am, a fool driven by his ideal to become a Hero of Justice. A twisted funhouse mirror of my own reflection. I had to accept it. He was what I didn't want Shirou to become.

My peace would not last.

Saber staggered onto the porch. His feet lame and broken, he leaned against the wall to keep from collapsing. On Death's door.

I shook my head, did he come to lecture me? One final lesson before the end? I don't need this. I pushed myself off the ground and moved away.

"I'll be dead within the hour so shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say." Saber held up a shaking arm. He stepped in my way, unstable on his own two feet.

I wanted to push him aside. It would take no effort. But I decided against it, the least I could do listen. The rapid unsteady breathing and dialed in eyes convinced me.

"Fine." I sat down.

"Good." Saber grabbed at the nearest support beam and leaned into it. He slid down in a precise instinctually manner, not falling, as if second nature to him. Years of pain caught up with Saber as he stared off into night. But he didn't despair, and smiled.

I remained silent.

"I want to say..." he hesitated, unsure. A tear trickled down his cheek. He laughed. Raw anguish and joy mixed on his face as he tilted his back to unleash a laugh of unfiltered emotion.

"I want to say," he said, "thank you."

I was taken aback, unsure. What does he mean by this? Saber was a confusing entity and wondered if there was a method to his madness.

Saber stared down at his boots, embarrassed. "After the war in my time I continued the same path as you did. I fought to become a Hero of Justice, I fought against evil, I fought and fought. I killed many people, some bad, some good, but in the end it was endless. Endless meaningless suffering."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I lived a good life," he said. "Because despite all that, I was never alone. I had many friends, people I could rely on, people who never failed to carry me when I fell. The adventure was rough, but we shared the load."

I nodded.

"Archer, because of you I was never alone." Saber took a labored breath and smiled. Pure raw joy, the love and thanks of a truly happy man. "Because of you I had a family."

My breath stopped, and I lost control of my emotional mask. Saber noticed it too, and this only resolved to make him happier. I was relieved? Why? Was this what Kiritsugu felt?

The tapping of bare feet interrupted me. I looked past Saber. Rin hid in the corner of the house masked by the night's shadows. Her head hung low as she listened in.

I understood. Why Saber became the person he was. When I became a Hero of Justice I didn't do it because I wanted to save people. I just wanted to see them smile, I wanted to feel what my father did. But I only killed. My existence as a Counter Guardian did nothing, but bring death and despair. Except, in this one instance. It wasn't what I wanted to be. It was why.

I laughed, and hung my head low into my lap. I have let myself get sidetracked.

"Where are you going?" Saber said as I picked myself up.

I walked away, silent and content, hiding the smile of my lips.